Category: anniversary

Posted on

Reminiscing

It was a warm Saturday morning in 2006. The night before, my father had asked me to go with him to Summerville to watch his grandson, my nephew play soccer. After a week of dealing with middle school students, I really wanted to stay home and relax. However, it had only been a little over a month since Mom had died. My dad needed to be able to do this, and he needed me to do the driving. I don’t remember much of the conversation during the trip, except for him telling me that his sister had just passed away and the funeral was that day.

We drove to the soccer field and settled in to watch the game. I think it was a good game. I really don’t remember. We only saw the first half. At halftime, my niece and I headed to the concession stand to get something to drink. Dad had mentioned that he was hot and thirsty. On the way back, we noticed that there was a crowd of people around someone on the sideline where we had been sitting. As we got closer, we realized that the people were crowded around my father, who was on the ground. He was having a heart attack. An ambulance quickly arrived and the EMTs began to try and revive him. After what seemed like an eternity, they put Dad in the ambulance and headed for the emergency room. My sister and I followed.

I don’t remember how long we waited. Everything was a blur. Finally we were informed that the doctors had done everything they could do, but that Dad had died of a heart attack. We were escorted to a room where he lay on a table, and I immediately lost it. I had lost my hero, and in one sense I was now an orphan. I felt a sense of guilt for not really wanting to drive him to the game, and some relief that I had gone and had been with him on his last day in this life. The next few days were a blur, as arrangements needed to be made with a funeral home where my sister lived, the church here where my parents had been members, and the funeral home and cemetery in Maryland, where Dad was to be buried.

All of the arrangements were completed, and we drove to Maryland for a small service in the funeral home, followed by the burial. It was a mild, sunny day, in contrast to the cold rain on the day Mom was laid to rest. At the end of the gravesite service, when the casket was lowered into the ground and the machine was shoveling the dirt into the grave, I remember that my sister and I both thought of Dad peering down from heaven, making sure that the workers did their job correctly.

It’s been fifteen years. Our two children, his grandchildren are married, and I know he would be proud of them. There are four great grandchildren now, and i can imagine the joy he would get out of spending time with them and teasing them with his corny jokes. I’m trying to carry on that tradition, but my efforts pale in comparison. I still miss him. I think about him a lot, especially when I bump my head. I am thankful that I will see both my mom and my dad in the New Creation.

Posted on

After 20 Years

September 11, 2001. Some three thousand people awoke that morning, went about their routine, and headed off for their day. None of them had any idea that this day would be their last in this life. I was a teacher and athletic director in a small Christian school , and was in my office listening to the radio. A report broke in to the programming. Evidently, a plane had flown into one of the towers of the World Trade Center in New York City. At the time, no one knew if this was an accident, or deliberate. A short time later news came in of a second plane flying into the second tower. The word “attack” was being uttered. Then the third plane flew into the Pentagon and the unthinkable began to become very real. The United States was under attack. Shortly thereafter, we learned that a fourth plane had been hijacked and that the South Tower had collapsed. At the same time, plans were in motion to take down the fourth plane if it approached Washington, D.C. This proved to be unnecessary because some of the passengers on that flight attacked the hijackers, and the plane ended up crashing into a field in Pennsylvania. Shortly after the fourth plane crashed, the North Tower collapsed. While all this was happening, flights all over the country were grounded in an attempt to prevent future attacks.

I was in a state of shock, as was the nation. All of our might, our prosperity, our sense of safety, seemed to be an illusion. For many days there was concern that something else might happen. There was grief for those who had perished, and for those who had been left behind. There was also a determination to help those who had been injured, and those whose loved ones had been torn from them. In the days to come, the nation was unified as it had been in the last world war. It seemed that there was no longer division between groups or parties. We were all Americans. The nation had been shaken to its core, and as a result turned to God. It seemed as if America might come out of this stronger and better.

Twenty years have passed. I believe that, while we were stronger, better, and more unified at the beginning, America has let all of that slip away. We may be more divided now than at any time in our history. There are groups and individuals who believe, and proclaim that anyone who doesn’t believe the way they do is not a real American. The spirit of helping others and sacrificing for their good has been replaced with a spirit of me first, my rights, my desires. There are those that call for open rebellion, and some even call for a civil war. Some of these folks even call themselves followers of the Prince of Peace!

Many in the church have confused being a Christian with adhering to a particular political viewpoint. The idea of being a citizen of the kingdom of God is forgotten by many, or is pushed to something in the far-off future. Twenty years ago, America had a common enemy from the outside. Today, it seems that the common enemy is each other. If we continue to fight and seek to destroy that enemy, we will destroy ourselves. I hope we can wake up and look for the common ground that helped us through those days after 9/11/2001.

Posted on

Fifteen Years Already?

It’s hard to believe that it has been fifteen years since my mom went to be with her Savior. Mom had suffered from Alzheimer’s Disease for a number of years. Eventually she reached the point where my dad could no longer take care of her at home, no matter how much he tried. After a short stay in the hospital, Mom was admitted to a local nursing home to live out her final days. It was hard on all of us, but it was especially hard on Dad, who I believe thought that he had failed as a husband. Within a few months, Mom slipped away and we said goodbye.

As it often happens with a disease like Alzheimer’s, there was both sadness and a sense of relief. By the end, Mom didn’t know anyone or anything that was going on. She had gone from the sweetest person anyone could know, to someone else entirely. As her mind slipped away, negative things from her childhood came back to life. We knew that the one we were interacting with was not the wife and mother we knew and loved, so when she died we were relieved that her suffering was over and she was made whole.

I remember the funeral back in Maryland. It was a rainy day, and the song “I Will Praise You in the Storm” came on the radio. While bringing a fresh toreent of tears, the song also brought comfort. I knew that I could praise God in the midst of the physical storm and the emotional storm because the loved me and he loved Mom. She was now resting in his presence and one day all of the tears would be wiped away.

Over the years, the pain has lessened. That is only natural. I still remember all of the good times with a wonder, loving mom who would gladly have given herself up for her children. While I do remember the last couple of years of her life and the struggle it was, I can look back on it thankful that the Father carried me through that with the same loving arms with which he carried Mom home.

I believe that I will see my mom someday, and we will never have to part in tears again.

Posted on

One Year Ago

I have seen a lot of articles about remembering the “official” beginning of the pandemic one year ago. It was the start of a year that significantly changed our lives in many ways. Before the Covid virus hit, we could go wherever we wanted and be with friends and family without fear. That changed drastically.

For me personally, March 11, 2020 brought a significant, life changing event. I woke up that morning, and got ready for what I thought would be a normal day. I went to my usual Wednesday morning book discussion time with a couple of friends, then went to my job as a bus driver. At the lunch time, I did my usual workout. Afterward, I felt a little off, with a bit of a headache and just a general blah feeling. I figured I must have pushed myself too hard and didn’t give it another thought.

We had a new driver starting and he drove a group to WalMart to do some grocery shopping, while I rode along. When we arrived, I got off the bus to use the restroom. When I walked in the store I began to feel sick to my stomach and thought that I needed to get to the restroom quick before I lost it or passed out.

To make a long story short, I ended up in the hospital with a heart attack. I had had a couple of episodes earlier, but nothing that seemed overly concerning. I had even passed a stress test with flying colors. Little did I know that the artery hiding in the back of the heart had become 95% blocked and needed attention right away. The doctor put a stent in to keep the artery clear. After three or four visitors came to see me in my room, the hospital was put on lockdown.

I left the hospital after four days, and began the recovery process. I am now completely recovered. I have lost ten pounds, and my blood pressure and cholesterol are down to more normal levels. I feel good and have exceeded my fitness level of a year ago.

The most significant change has been my attitude toward life. I am realizing that I can’t take this life for granted and I am much more appreciative of the things in my life. More than that, I especially am thankful for the people in my life. I have been blessed with a wonderful wife, children and grandchildren, other family, and very good friends.

Facing my own mortatlity and seeing others, including people I know personally, face theirs, has taught me how precious and precarious this life is. It has taught me how completely dependant we all are on the grace of a good God. I have learned to depend on Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:26 about the Father’s care for the birds and how he cares for his children so much more. That is a great comfort and encouragement.

I have no idea what lies around the bend on the back road of life. We all have things we wish wouldn’t happen in our lives and the lives of those we hold dear. I do know that the same God who takes good care of the birds of the air and the beasts of the field, is my loving Father who is going to do what is good and best for me and for those I care about.

Posted on

Reflections at 65

Yesterday I completed my sixty fifth year on this earth. It seems hard to believe it’s been that long, yet at the same time it feels like a long time has past. There have been a lot of changes over the years, in me and in the world around me. When I was born, Dwight Eisenhower was President. Many more have come and gone, some good, some bad. Communication has gone from rotary phones with party lines to Dick Tracy style wrist watches with video calling. Back then, a zoom meeting meant driving fast across town to a particular location. Wars used to be fought in person, now they are sometimes fought remotely.

Over the years, I have gone from being a rail thin youngster to a chubby middle age man to a slightly slimmer senior. I used to be athletic, now my knees ache when I get up in the morning. As a matter of fact, a good bit of my body aches in the morning. I have finally learned that when my mind tells me I can do something that I used to be able to do, I shouldn’t listen. My body always disagrees with my mind, and it is usually right. I have had the opportunity to continue my athletic career as a coach, and been able to coach some pretty good athletes, including my children. Because I coached, I also drove buses and have been able to turn that into in-between jobs, and finally into the job I have now.

I have learned a few things along the way. Some of them are important and some are good answers to trivia questions. I have learned that a great many of the things we think are vital are not, and some of the things we think are inconsequential are extremely important. Even though I still get upset more than I should, I have come to realize that there are really very few things in this life worth getting upset about. More and more, my philosophy is boiling down to, like Karl Barth, Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so, along with love God and others. I have found that holding those thngs closely makes things simpler and more complex. I do believe if more of those of us who call ourselves Christians would live in the realization that we are loved by God and are to love him and our neighbor, this world would be a much better place.

I am truly blest by the Father. He has given me a wonderful wife, two fantastic chidlren, and three of the best grandchildren in the world, with one more on the way. Jan and I are part of a beautiful community of fellow Jesus followers. I have been able to do things that I loved, both in work and play. I have seen some amazing things and met some amazing people. As the years have gone by, I have become more and more grateful for all my blessings and for all the lessons I have learned, even the hard ones.

None of us knows what the future holds. That is not in our hands. I am thankful that my loving Father has the future in his hands. I hope to spend many more years traveling the back roads of life trying to keep up with Jesus.

Posted on

Forty Years and Counting

It was a different time. The nation had experienced some healing from Vietnam and Watergate. The economy was not in very good shape. Iran held Americans hostage. The Reagan Revolution was just a soon to be realized dream for the Republican Party. The Miracle on Ice was a recent memory and the Summer Olympics would take place without the United States, as well as a number of other countries.

We were different as well. We both were much younger and both of us had more hair. Jan’s hair is simply shorter, while mine is simply gone and my beard is now white. We were both teachers then, and while Jan has kept her hand in, I have bounced around among a variety of jobs.

During these last forty years, we have lived in a number of different homes in three cities. We began life as a couple in the Washington, DC area, spent some time in the Cincinnati area, where our family grew from two to four. For the last twenty five years we have called the small city of Rock Hill home. Our son and daughter grew up here, and left the nest to pursue their own path. In the ensuing years, we buried our parents, moved on to new jobs, and found a community of faith that has become a family.

Through the years, much has changed. We have been on the heights, and we have been through the valleys. This journey together has not always been an easy one, and the road has always been winding. There have been times of plenty, and times when we struggled financially. We have never been “wealthy” in the usual sense, but God has always provided. We have argued and been angry with one another, and made up and moved on.

What has never changed is our love and commitment to each other. As our lives took the twists and turns, we knew that the other one was with us and we were on this journey together, come hell or high water. We learned to communicate and that has been a major factor in our marriage. We still face the challenges of life. Both of us are growing older and dealing with those issues. Jan’s HD is a big challenge. But we are facing these things together, as we have always faced life. We are trusting our heavenly Father to take care of us, as he always has.

Forty years. It seems like a long time, over half of our lives, yet it somehow feels like a blip on the screen of time. We may celebrate another forty years, we may not. No matter how many more years God gives us, I know that I am truly blessed to be married to a beautiful woman who is a wonderful partner.

Jan, I am so thankful to the Father for bringing us together and allowing us to spend these years together as one, and I pray he gives us many more years to journey through this life.

I love you more than yesterday, and less than tomorrow.

Posted on

Reflections

A couple of days ago I celebrated another trip around the sun, my 64th. It was good to be with family.

There’s a lot to reflect on as I look back over the years. Our country has been through quite a few military conflicts, none as important to the world as WWII, although a couple have lasted much longer. We have bounced back and forth between conservative and liberal administrations and seem to have lost the center, as the two major parties move further away from each other.

The evangelical wing of the church is becoming as divided as the parties, with one group siding with the Republicans and one group throwing their lot in with the Democrats. We have forgotten that we are not to depend on government to “deliver” us, but only on the Savior who gave his life for us.

I reflect back on my own life, how so much of what I was absolutely sure of as a young person has faded away and how what I don’t know may be greater than what I do know. I still hold to the core beliefs of my faith in Jesus, but that is more and more being distilled down to loving God with every fiber of my being and loving others as Jesus loves me.

Physically, I am feeling the effects of getting older. I move a lot slower than when I was younger, and the only way I can touch the rim on a basketball goal now is by climbing up a stepladder. I can no longer eat the way I used to, and sometimes I forget and misplace things.

All in all, with all the changes, there is not much I would change and very little that I regret. While there are things I might have done differently, I believe that my steps have ordered by a gracious and loving Heavenly Father and that he has and will continue to work everything for my good. To quote one of my favorite stories, “How goes the world?” “The world goes not well. But the Kingdom comes.”

Posted on

38 Years and Counting

On this date thirty eight years ago, Jan and I were married. We have been through a lot in that time, most of it good, some it challenging, and some of it flat out bad. We have reared two children, and are grateful that they have grown into responsible adults. We have buried our parents and become the “older generation.” We have become grandparents. Not once, not twice, but three times in the past thirteen months.

We have lived in five homes in three different cities, moving from the bustle of the Washington, DC area to the more blue collar Cincinnati, Ohio suburbs, to the small, yet growing town of Rock Hill, South Carolina. We have each taught in four different schools. Jan is currently tutoring part time, and I am working as an assistant in a law office. We have spent most of our working years traveling together to the same place, and had the blessing of having our son and daughter in the same schools with us for a good bit of the time. Jan has stuck with me through the times I was without work, when we often wondered how we were going to make it and when I seriously doubted my self-worth. There were times when her belief in me was what kept me going.

I am grateful for a wife who has been a constant in my life. There has never been a time when I doubted her love for me. She has been a support and a blessing to me throughout the years. She is one of the people God has used to mold me into who I am. I am thankful for the privilege of being her husband, her companion, her love. I consider myself most blessed man on earth.

As we enter this new stage of our journey, being grandparents, and dealing with getting a bit older, I am glad to have such a wonderful woman to travel with. Jan, I love you so much more than yesterday, and so much less than tomorrow. Happy Anniversary.

Posted on

Thirty Four Years and Counting

On this date, thirty four years ago, I married a wonderful young lady by the name of Jan. When we said, “I do”, neither of us realized what the years would bring. Like all couples, we brought our own selves into the marriage, and there were adjustments. One of the decisions we made before the wedding was to never consider divorce as an option. I believe that commitment has been a strength of our marriage.

Through the years, we have learned what it means to live out that commitment. We have had to learn how to communicate openly, how to figure out which things were important and which were not, and how to extend grace. As we learned those things, we grew to understand each other more and more. That has served us well in the twists and turns of our journey together.

We’ve been through a lot together in these thirty four years of marriage. Getting jobs, losing jobs, having enough, and wondering if we’ll have enough. We’ve lost loved ones together, and gained and lost friends. We’ve had our ups and downs as we’ve learned to live with one another. Through it all, we have seen God`s grace time and time again.

As I look back on the years, I know that if I had the chance to do it all again, I would. I am so supremely blessed to have the privilege of being married to the most beautiful, wonderful woman on earth. Jan, I love you, and I thank God for you. Here’s to another thirty four years!

Posted on

For My Beautiful Wife

Today is the thirty-third anniversary of the day I married my beautiful wife Jan. When we wed, we vowed to stick with the other through better or worse, health or sickness, etc. At the time neither of us really knew what that all entailed. As the years have passed, we’ve learned a bit of what it means to support each other in the good and the bad.

Through it all, I have been blessed to have such a gracious partner by my side. In Genesis, we are told that God thought it not good for man to be alone so he created a helper suitable (meet) for him. In the Hebrew the words translated “help meet” could be translated as a “helper who complements.” Not a helper in the sense of a servant, but a helper in the sense of a rescuer or deliverer. The word “ezer” is used of God as a deliverer. The word “k’enegdo” can be translated “against” or “opposite.” The idea is something which corresponds to, like a mirror image. So, you could say that a wife is to be a deliverer who mirrors her husband. Opposites attract right?

Jan has certainly been an ezer k’enegdo for me. She has been my deliverer by her love and loyal support. She is a complement to me and I have learned much from her through the years. I can not imagine what it would have been like without her through the moves, the job losses, the losses of my parents, and all the other ups and downs of life. As I look back over thirty-three years, I marvel at the grace of a loving Abba who knew exactly who I needed. I can’t fathom it.

Jan, it’s been an absolutely wonderful journey together these thirty-three years. I can’t imagine life with anyone else, and I pray the Father gives us many more years together. You are a tremendous blessing to me. I love you.