Today we looked at Jesus’ words about following him.
Blast From the Past: Out of the Cave, Into the…
This was first posted on February 6, 2012. The healing process had begun.
Some of you have read my recent post about finding myself in a cave. I’m now out of the cave, although still not far from the entrance. I now find myself in the middle of a thicket, sort of like a stand of rhododendron or mountain laurel, so thick that you cannot see out of it. It is still somewhat dark, and the direction I should take is unclear. I see many paths out, but don’t know yet which one to take.
There is the path that would take me back into the church world I left a few years ago. Next to it is the path that would take me to the land of the mega-church. Here I could find a place to hide and lick my wounds. One path seems to go in circles, and looks as if it would leave me no better off. Yet another way out continues in the search for community. That is the path that interests me the most, and the way that I have learned most about in the last couple of days.
You see, I have learned something about community, and about myself. I think I’m beginning to learn why I spent time in the dark cave. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a pretty laid back individual, but that when I am passionate about something, I tend to go all out. As I learned more and more about the God’s desire for his children to live as brothers and sisters because of Christ, I became more and more passionate with living in community. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community.” As I look back on the past year, and my desire to have and fight for community, I realize I inadvertently pushed it too hard and may have been part of the cause of its destruction. I know that my heart was good, but I think I may have wanted community so badly that I didn’t see the problems that it was causing. Even though I tried to sacrificially love those around me, I think that I didn’t leave room for God to work, thinking that as long as we spent enough time together, growth and maturity would automatically happen.
I now realize that community is something that has to happen naturally, as God’s people learn to love one another. It is something that cannot be forced, and the Holy Spirit must be the one to form it rather than humans whose motives can be tainted by our own needs. I also realize that a particular form of community may not last as long as I think, and that I need to be willing to let it go when it is time. For those of you reading this who have been on the receiving end of my misguided efforts, I am sorry. I put the ideal of community ahead of my brothers and sisters. I was wrong.
As to what is next in this journey along the back roads, only God knows. I know that Jan and I still desire to share our lives with some fellow Christ-followers. I also know that it may not take any form that we expect. It may be in a regular gathering. It may take place in just getting together with one or two who share our desire. What I also know is that I want it to be something that happens as Christ’s Spirit moves, not when I think it should happen.
I’m learning to trust my Father. As I leave the thicket, I want to be hear my Shepherd’s voice and follow him wherever he leads, whenever he leads, and to whatever he leads. I would appreciate your prayers.
The Problem With Community
Community is a wonderful thing. It is how we make disciples and how we grow in the Christian life. But, there is a problem that happens when followers of Jesus come together to live in community. The problem is that there are not that many people who really want to be in community as Scripture presents it.
Most of us have an idealized picture of what Christian community is. We see it as an idyllic place where we are loved and accepted completely and there are never any disagreements, at least any that may lead to someone being hurt. We may see community as simply a group of friends, while the real work of the church gets done on Sunday. We have what Bonhoeffer called “wish dreams,” utopian visions of community. These wish dreams are extremely dangerous, and can eventually kill the community. These idealized pictures cause us to try to center community around something other than Christ and to attempt to keep it going by the sheer force of our wills. I can attest, from personal experience that centering community around anything other than Jesus and what he has done for us will cause the community to crash and burn, with the resultant “loss of life.”
Community is messy. I may misunderstand you or disappoint you. I may offend you or hurt you deeply. You may do the same to me. We will disagree on things. Sometimes those disagreements may be heated. None of us are perfect. Anyone who knows me knows how true that is. Sometimes though, we forget that and are ready to run at the first sign of conflict or the first hurt feeling. Some will say, “That person yelled at me and totally misunderstood me. I’m leaving.” Or, ” He wounded me deeply. I can’t be a part of this anymore.” While there may be times to leave a group if things are bad, many times the leavers have had their picture of community shattered and don’t want to deal with the messiness of trying to work things out. Maybe hard things need to be said or heard. That is part of living as the family of God.
Others will say, “I’m just not being fed. I need a good preacher to feed me.” Good preaching is a part of our growth in Christ, but it is only a part. I would argue, and I think Scripture would bear this out, that the intimate gatherings of God’s children, whether in Missional communities, small groups, or one to one, do more to facilitate spiritual formation than even the best preaching or teaching. It is in the interaction we have with our brothers and sisters on a daily or at least regular basis that shape us. It is in those times that we learn how to follow Jesus in our day-to-day. As we spend time together, we see how others respond in certain situations. The times of disagreement and the times we mess up should be the best times to learn how to love as Jesus loved us and how to extend the same grace we have been given. The troubling times should be the times that actually form us more into Christ’s image and draw us closer to one another.
To do that though, requires us to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. We don’t like to do that because we may have tried and been ground under the heel of someone we trusted. It’s hard. I’ve felt like I had my heart torn out and stomped on. Add that to the fact that we are basically selfish and living in community looks pretty hard, even impossible. That’s why it has to be centered in the gospel. We are called to be people who repent, who forgive, who seek reconciliation, and who willingly lay down our lives for others. We can only do that if the Spirit has formed our community and gives us the power to live as a spiritual family.
It hurts when people leave. May our communities truly be places where the gospel is lived out and where God’s kingdom comes.
Free Grace or Come and Die
The message of free grace is becoming more and more widespread in the church these days. It is a message that resonates with many who feel beat down by legalistic messages they have heard in churches. There are many proponents of free grace, such as Steve Brown, author of Scandalous Freedom and Three Free Sins, and Tullian Tchividjian, author of Glorious Ruin and One Way Love. At the same time, there is a push back from those who believe the idea of free grace cheapens the gospel and produces folks who just feel free to sin all they want. These people would refer to Bonhoeffer’s writing that Jesus calls us to “come and die,” and against “cheap grace.”
I believe that the message of the free grace of God to sinners and the calling to die are not incompatible. In fact they are parts of the same message. Jesus tells us that we cannot follow him if we don’t take up our cross and die to ourself. Scripture also tells us that the finished work of Christ on the cross frees us from the law of “do and live.” We are not under condemnation if we are in Christ and we have been made brand new. In Romans 6, Paul anticipates the arguments of those that say teaching grace leads to lawlessness and of those who say that grace allows us to sin more and more. In the first two verses, Paul asks if we should sin more in order for more grace to be given and then answers his question with, “No way! We’ve died to sin! How can we live in it?” In the rest of that chapter Paul goes on to tell us that we are to count ourselves as dead to sin and no longer under it’s control.
In Galatians, Paul says that he has been crucified with Christ, but that he lives because it is now Christ living in him. When grace captures us, we die to our self and begin to live in Christ. Unfortunately, because we still live in a broken world and sin is still present in us to varying degrees, we have to continually take up our cross daily. That taking up our cross is not striving to make ourselves acceptable to God by keeping the law. It has to do with giving up our interests because of what God has done for us.
One way of looking at it is to look at our relationship to God and our relationship to others. The grace that God freely gives us is what makes us his beloved children. There is nothing we can do to earn it or lose it. In response to this grace and because Christ lives in us, we then do those things which show that same love and grace to others. We love because God first loved us. We die to ourselves by putting others first. Jesus said that the greatest love is to lay down our lives for others. We only do that through the grace of God in our hearts.
So, God offers us his free grace which will make us right with him and his beloved children. That grace causes us to give up ourselves, to die, in order that we may show that same grace to others. In the words of the song, grace calls us to “come and die, and find that I might truly live.”
I pray that you are resting in that grace.