Category: desert

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Shadow and Hope

In The Return of the King, the hobbits Frodo and Sam are near the end of their journey into the land of Shadow in their attempt to destrtoy the One Ring. They have journeyed far, through hunger and thirst, battles with spiders and orcs, and the near overwhelming despair that lies heavy on Mordor. Now more than ever, the quest seems to be a fool’s errand. They don’t know if they will ever reach their destination, or if it will matter if they do.

One night, as Frodo sleeps, Sam looks up at the sky above him:

Far above the Ephel Duath in the West the night sky was still dim and pale. There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of that forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing; there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.

There is talk going around in some circles that if (fill in the name) gets elected, or re-elected, a Shadow will cover our land and our nation as we know it will cease to exist. When you think about it, this has been the fear of some for a number of election cycles. The language used to describe candiates on either side comes close to the language used to describe Sauron and his minions. These people, whoever “these people” may be, are the scourge of the earth and are worthy only of hatred and contempt. We are told to fear those who disagree with us, because their ideas will enslave us in some sort of socialist, fascist, anarchist, dictatorial, etc. distopia.

What there seems to be a short supply of, is hope. People talk about what country they are going to flee to if a certain party wins (although I don’t know if anyone has ever actually done that). Now, I can understand a lack of hope from those who have all their dreams tied into a certain way of seeing the world, who have pledged their allegiance to a system or person. What I don’t understand is when some of that despairing language comes from the mouths of those who claim to follow the One who brings hope. I realize that some of that is done to raise money to put in the coffers of certain organizations, or because they want to keep a privileged position. That doesn’t make it any less sad.

Think of that Friday afternoon a little over two thousand years ago, when the disciples of Jesus thought that they had lost all hope. They had hitched their wagon to the star of this man they believed was going to restore the kingdom to Israel and make it great again. Now he was dead, and it seemed as if their whole world had come crashing down around them. They, like many today, had a misplaced hope.

If you are a follower of Jesus, if you have pledged your allegiance to the King of Kings, then whatever happens in this election or in any other year should not lessen your hope one iota. Our hope is in the One who went into death and came out the other side victorious. Jesus is King and no matter who occupies the White House, the Capitol, or the Supreme Court, our mission as ambassadors of the Kingdom of God does not change. We are still called to make disciples. That may well get more difficult in the years to come, but it is still our calling. If everything hits the fan and this nation does crunble, as all empires have so far, we are still citizens of the Kingdom that will never be shaken and have a hope that always endures. Because Jesus is King, the Shadow is only a small and passing thing and there is a light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.

Hope in the Lord, and your hopes will never be crushed.

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Blast From the Past: Still More

When we last left our hero, he was wondering what was going to happen next.

I was without work. I thought I was going to realize the fulfillment of a long held dream of coaching college basketball. So, I sent out resumes and waited. I talked to every coach I knew. And I waited. The summer came and went and still no coaching job. In fact, there were no jobs at all on the horizon. We didn’t feel free to move to another area because my parents and my wife’s parents had moved here to be near us and they were in declining health and needed our help. The search continued. As all this was going on, we had to give our Cocker Spaniel to the pound because he was old and had too much wrong with him for us to afford to have him treated. It was not a fun summer. About a week after we gave our dog away, I was out on yet another job search. As I drove past the animal shelter, I lost it. I began to pray, cry, and yell at God. I even cussed (I know that shocks some of you, but that’s the way it is). I told God that if I had anywhere else to go, I’d chuck this whole Christian thing. I realized that, like the disciples, I had nowhere else to go, that Jesus was the only one worth following.

In September of 2005, I was hired by a tour bus company to drive. I was glad because it would give me a chance to travel. As it turned out, the majority of the job consisted of leaving the house at 4:00 AM, driving to a National Guard camp eighty miles away, and shuttling troops back and forth from the camp to a nearby army base so they could be processed for active duty in Iraq. Most of the day was spent sitting on the bus and waiting for the soldiers to get their paperwork in order. I would usually arrive back home sometime after 10:00 PM. Because of this schedule, I usually only worked three days a week, so the income wasn’t real good. The company also had no health insurance for their employees.

At first, I wondered what I had done wrong, wondered why God had “put me on the sidelines”. I felt like I was in a desert. Sitting on the bus gave me plenty of opportunity to read, think, and pray. God began to teach me about trust and patience. He reminded me that he was the most important one in my life, and that my identity was in Jesus, not in being a teacher or coach. I began to rethink even more of my assumptions about God, church, and life. At the same time, God was teaching me increasingly to trust him. Jan and I saw God provide for us again and again.

In January 2006, I walked out of the desert. I was hired as a teacher’s assistant in a self-contained special education class at a public middle school. The kids I work with all have learning disabilities, some more severe than others. Many of them are from low income families. Quite a change from the Christian schools previously worked in, although not as much as I would have thought. Kids are kids wherever you go.

Also in January, both my mom and my mother-in-law went into a nursing home. Jan’s mom suffered a stroke, and my mom was suffering from advanced Alzheimer’s. Our ministry to our parents changed somewhat, as we were visiting our moms and essentially being there for our dads. It was hard to go into a place full of people who were essentially waiting to die and visit Mom, knowing that she would never leave in this life.

I’ll give your eyes a rest and write more later.