A couple of weeks ago, I took a Saturday and went up to a mountain area not too far from here. After dealing with a bit of anxiety that had caused me to end up in the hospital with what I thought might be a heart attack (thankfully, it wasn’t), I realized that some old hurts still needed healing and were causing me to be anxious about certain things because I was afraid of being hurt again. A lot of things had been happening in my life the past couple months and I succumbed to the temptation to worry about some of them.
As I was hiking through this area, the air was hot and humid, and the trail was dry. I drank enough water before I started walking, so I wasn’t in danger of dehydration, but I did start to get thirsty. After about a mile or so, I came to an area that had a stream flowing through, with a bench for sitting. As I journaled and prayed, one of the thoughts that came to me was the Psalmist saying that he panted after God like a deer pants after water. Even though the stream next to me wasn’t fit to drink, I was still reminded of the many times God has refreshed me when I was dry and thirsty.
My Abba Father has always been there for me, even during those times when it didn’t seem like it; those times when I felt as if I were wandering in the desert with no water in sight. I can go on these mini retreats because I do have a source of living water from which to drink my fill. I realize there will be times when I will be panting and thirsty, but God will always be there with living water, even if it takes a while to get there.
I know that there will be times ahead that could cause anxiety and that I will be hurt. It goes with hanging around people. But I am also realizing that I am only called to show God’s love to folks. I am not responsible for the results. I am learning again to trust my Father’s love and goodness, and let him take care of me and those I care about.
The dry, thirsty trails are still there to wander down. But, there is cool, refreshing water along the way.