Category: family

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Wednesday Night Church

Last night was what you could call a movable church feast. First, a group of us met at a home for dinner, as is our usual practice. What made this night different was that after dinner we headed downtown to help a local restaurant owner clean her new place so she could open next week. We spent about ninety minutes cleaning, fixing some furniture, moving things, etc.

After we finished, some of us traveled down the street to a local pub where we continued to fellowship  over food and pints. It was a good couple of hours hanging out, talking about theology, philosophy, and what was going on in our lives. I had a bit of a hard time waking up at an early hour this morning, but it was definitely worth it. 🙂

Along with learning that the Church can be found even within the church, I am learning more and more that just hanging out with brothers and sisters in Christ is gathering with the church, no matter what is going on. Sometimes just rubbing shoulders with other followers of Jesus builds us up and forms us into Christ’s image. Children learn a great deal from watching parents, grandparents, and other family members. As the saying goes, more is caught than taught. So it is in the family of God. As we spend time with each other, sharing our lives, we pick up things that build us up and help us follow Jesus, even when we may not realize it. Discipleship is by example much more than by formal teaching.

I would encourage you to seek out believers that you can spend time with, sharing your lives and getting to see how they follow Christ. Don’t limit “church” to just studying the Bible or being taught.

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Repost: Continuation of “Even More”

I had lost my hero, my adviser, my example. That next Christmas was hard. The biggest thing about the celebration of Christmas for me had always been family, and now I was an orphan.

At the same time a group of us in our church had decided that things needed to change or we could no longer continue there. A few months before this, we had gone to two Sunday morning worship services. One was a traditional service and the other was a more contemporary service. The church was losing people and it was thought that if we provided opportunity for people to worship as they preferred, it would strengthen and grow the church. The contemporary service quickly became just like the traditional service, only with cooler music.

Our group of “revolutionaries” believed that we needed to approach “church” from a fresh angle. We agreed that the church needed to reach into the community around us. We began to meet weekly to set out a course of action and to plan the weekly gatherings. At first, things were moving in a direction that really encouraged me. I was an elder, and had agreed to become an elder in order to try and influence the church in a direction that was more “emerging”. Someone accused us trying to break away and start a new church. I said that I had no interest in planting a new church. (Famous last words)

As time went on I realized that the only way we were going to do what we believed God wanted us to do was to actually begin a new church under the auspices of the original church, with our own leadership. Unfortunately, there were a number of people in leadership, as well as other influential members, who wanted to have a say in what we were doing. We were accused of dividing the church and conditions were put on what we were doing. The conditions were probably good but they essentially put brakes on our efforts. As time went on, the enthusiasm for “doing church” differently waned and the worship service reverted to same old same old with cooler music. At the same time, there were positive signs, so I still planned to stay around and minister where I could.

Toward the end of the summer, I heard about a possible church plant here in Rock Hill. I was immediately intrigued. I contacted the one doing the planting and as we talked and got to know each other a little bit, God began to nudge me in the direction of helping in the plant. As time went on and I began to read and study, I became increasingly convinced of the need for a new church in Rock Hill. God continued to work on me, and by the end of December I decided to leave the current church and help plant the new one.

So now, I’m about to set off on another leg of my journey. Where this one will lead only God knows. If there’s on thing I’ve learned through the years it’s that no matter how much the road twists and turns, and no matter how dark things get, my Father is with me and is leading me exactly where he wants me to go. That makes the trip an adventure rather than a chore.

Should be fun.

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Repost: Even More

This was originally posted on January 15, 2008:

During a time of prayer one night in January, 2006, a friend told me that he saw me going through a time of winter. He saw snow swirling around, deeper and deeper, and wolves howling around the door. I thought, “Great! I just came out of the desert, and now I’m going to experience winter?” So, I was left wondering what was going to happen next.

The next few months were relatively uneventful. Mom continued to get worse and things were tight financially (but that wasn’t new). Things were unsettled in the church we served in. I felt a sense that things were changing, that God was doing something. What was happening, I had no idea, but there was a sense of anticipation and disquiet.

The year wore on, with Mom getting worse and worse, and Dad beginning to wear under the strain. In August, Dad had to make the decision to not do anything more to prolong Mom’s life, and we contacted hospice to come and help Mom be comfortable, and at the end of August Mom passed from this life into the presence of the Father. While we were grieving, we were also relieved that Mom was no longer suffering and was now more alive than ever. The next month was busy with helping my dad with some of the stuff resulting from Mom’s passing, and going with him to my nephew’s soccer games.

At the end of September, thirty-three days after Mom died, I drove my dad to a soccer game. The day seemed perfectly normal. Then, it all fell apart. At halftime of the game, Dad had a massive heart attack and joined Mom in the presence of Jesus. It was a huge shock, and something that knocked me for a loop.

I’ll try to finish this tomorrow.

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And I Still Do

One day, a minister asked me if I took the young woman standing next to me as my wife, to love and cherish, in sickness and health, for better or worse, as long as we both would live. That warm July day, I said I do.

Fast forward thirty two years. The woman is no longer young. Neither am I. We have been through both health and sickness. There have been times when things couldn’t have been any better, and there have been other times when things seemed as if they couldn’t be any worse. That day in July, neither one of us could have predicted all that was going to happen as we journeyed together. I know Jan had no idea what she was getting into. We have been through moves, jobs gained and lost, and have raised two children to adulthood. There have been disagreements and arguments. There have been many changes in our lives.

There are a couple of things that have never changed. The first, and most important, is the love that our Father has for us and the grace he has shown us every day. There have been times we couldn’t have made it without God’s grace and love. He has been faithful to provide for us all along, many times in ways we could never expected. While we have never been wealthy in terms of material things, we have been rich in the things that can never be taken away. We have always had the love of friends and family and the knowledge that our Papa would give us exactly what we needed at exactly the right time. He owns the riches of heaven, and we have learned to trust him as he takes care of us.

The second constant had been the fact that this woman who stood beside me thirty two years ago has always stood beside me. Jan has been my support through all I have done, whether teaching, coaching, or teaching others about following Jesus. She has been right there when jobs disappeared and new jobs were slow in coming. She has comforted me in times of sorrow and grief, and been extremely patient with me in my failings and struggles. We have been a team through these years. After all these years, it still boggles my mind to think of how wonderfully God has blessed me. He has given me a treasure that I can’t even begin to fathom. I am one of those men who definitely married up. 


I cannot adequately express the depth of my love for you, Jan. Words don’t do justice to my gratitude for all you have been to me. I can say one thing though. I still do.

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Still More: Reposted

This was first posted January 8, 2008:

When we last left our hero, he was wondering what was going to happen next.

I was without work. I thought I was going to realize the fulfillment of a long held dream of coaching college basketball. So, I sent out resumes and waited. I talked to every coach I knew. And I waited. The summer came and went and still no coaching job. In fact, there were no jobs at all on the horizon. We didn’t feel free to move to another area because my parents and my wife’s parents had moved here to be near us and they were in declining health and needed our help. The search continued. As all this was going on, we had to give our cocker spaniel to the pound because he was old and had too much wrong with him for us to afford to have him treated. It was not a fun summer. About a week after we gave our dog away, I was out on yet another job search. As I drove past the animal shelter, I lost it. I began to pray, cry, and yell at God. I even cussed (I know that shocks some of you, but that’s the way it is). I told God that if I had anywhere else to go, I’d chuck this whole Christian thing. I realized that, like the disciples, I had nowhere else to go, that Jesus was the only one worth following.

In September of 2005, I was hired by a tour bus company to drive. I was glad because it would give me a chance to travel. As it turned out, the majority of the job consisted of leaving the house at 4:00 AM, driving to a National Guard camp eighty miles away, and shuttling troops back and forth from the camp to a nearby army base so they could be processed for active duty in Iraq. Most of the day was spent sitting on the bus and waiting for the soldiers to get their paperwork in order. I would usually arrive back home sometime after 10:00 PM. Because of this schedule, I usually only worked three days a week, so the income wasn’t real good. The company also had no health insurance for their employees.

At first, I wondered what I had done wrong, wondered why God had “put me on the sidelines”. I felt like I was in a desert. Sitting on the bus gave me plenty of opportunity to read, think, and pray. God began to teach me about trust and patience. He reminded me that he was the most important one in my life, and that my identity was in Jesus, not in being a teacher or coach. I began to rethink even more of my assumptions about God, church, and life. At the same time, God was teaching me increasingly to trust him. Jan and I saw God provide for us again and again.

In January 2006, I walked out of the desert. I was hired as a teacher’s assistant in a self-contained special education class at a public middle school. The kids I work with all have learning disabilities, some more severe than others. Many of them are from low income families. Quite a change from the Christian schools previously worked in, although not as much as I would have thought. Kids are kids wherever you go.

Also in January, both my mom and my mother-in-law went into a nursing home. Jan’s mom suffered a stroke, and my mom was suffering from advanced Alzhiemer’s. Our ministry to our parents changed somewhat, as we were visiting our moms and essentially being there for our dads. It was hard to go into a place full of people who were essentially waiting to die and visit Mom, knowing that she would never leave in this life.

I’ll give your eyes a rest and write more later.

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My Week

The past seven days have been pretty busy. There were the usual work related goings-on, family happenings, etc. There were more significant things that happened as well. One of the events was life changing, and the other was different.

Our son was married this past weekend. We held the rehearsal and dinner at the local camp where we work. There was barbecue, baked beans, cole slaw, and cobbler. It was a busy day, setting up and taking down, driving to pick up the meat, and cooking. Everyone had a good time. The wedding was Sunday. Josh and Alicia were married in the evening in an old dairy barn that has been converted into a venue for different events. Jan and I went there to help decorate in the afternoon, and back for the ceremony. It was a beautiful time. The food at the reception was delicious, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

We spent Monday recovering and visiting with relatives who came in for the wedding. Tuesday found me home with a bad head cold. Wednesday morning, I received a phone call from the pastor of the church we have been gathering with, telling me that a young woman in the church had passed away that morning. The church was going to gather that night to share a meal, to sing some hymns, to share memories, and to pray and encourage one another. It was an interesting experience, because I had never been part of a church gathering for that purpose. I’d been to funerals, taken dinner to grieving families, and stood around and talked at viewings. This was the first time I had been at a gathering of a church like that. It was…well, it was like a family gathering. It was like the brothers and sisters, uncles and cousins, had gathered to comfort each other and pay their respects to their departed loved one. As I thought about it later, it hit me. This is what church is supposed to be. We are family! We have the same Father, the same older Brother. We are brothers and sisters. So why wouldn’t we gather as a family when something like this happens? So many Christians say that they are family with other Christians, but the reality is far different (maybe it’s because there are so many dysfunctional examples out there).

The gathering Wednesday night was family. The gathering I had with a brother in Christ at a local pub the next night was also family. We met for dinner and a couple of pints, and spent the next few hours sharing our lives and encouraging each other. Again, that’s what family does. That’s what church is. It doesn’t have to be in a particular building, at a particular time, on a particular day. It is wherever and whenever the children of God get together to encourage each other and share the Father’s love.

I think we may have found our family.

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A Prayer for Josh and Alicia

Abba Father,

Thank you for Josh and Alicia. In your grace and love, you have brought them together. As we have watched them grow from little ones to mature adults, you have answered many prayers, including the prayers for their mates.


We pray for your blessings on their marriage. May it be a picture of Christ and his Church and a shining testimony of your love. Let Josh and Alicia find their center in you as they follow Jesus together. may their love for each other flow our of your love for them, and may that love grow throughout their lives.


May they be quick to listen and slow to speak. May they be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Let grace and mercy rule and their love conquer all.


Father, we pray that you would richly bless Josh and Alicia. provide out of your abundance and let them never lack any good thing. May they be generous with what you give and may they be a blessing to others. May their children learn early to follow you and may they be a blessing to Josh and Alicia as they are a blessing to us.


Give them many happy years together. Let your kingdom come and your will be done in and through them as it is in heaven.


In Jesus name we ask these things. Amen

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To Josh on the Eve of Your Wedding

Wow. It’s hard to believe it’s here. You’re getting married tomorrow. The son we welcomed into our family so many years ago is beginning a family of his own. It’s seems like only a little while ago that we were bringing you home on that cold January day. Sometimes time passes too quickly.

You know how proud we are of you, but we’re going to to say it anyway. We are extremely proud of you, Josh. You have been a blessing from the Father since the day you were born. It is a privilege to be your parents. It has been an absolute joy to watch you grow up, and to watch God work in you, from the time you said you wanted to have a whole heart toward God until today. You have matured into a young man who loves Jesus and who wants to follow him. You are a compassionate person who graciously shows the Father’s love to those around you.

There are a few things we want you to remember. First, remember your first allegiance is to Jesus. He is the One who loves you and lay down his life for you. Your second allegiance is to Alicia. She is your wife, and your call is to love her as Christ loved the Church, giving yourself for her. Next come the children that God blesses you with. Be the kind of father that allows them to easily see God as Father. If you keep those things straight, you will be the kind of man who reflects the image of your Savior.

We love you Josh, and we wish you and Alicia God’s grace and favor. We pray the Father will grant you a long and happy life together, and allow you to see him work in wondrous ways.

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Lessons Learned From a Cat

Keith Giles at subversive1 has a guest post written by his wife Wendy titled Lessons Learned from Tiger. The post is about their cat Tiger, and the lessons she learned from caring for him after he was injured in a fight. I think the lessons she learned are lessons that we all can take to heart in our lives, especially in our relationships with others and with God. God spoke to me through these lessons. Maybe there is something here for you as well.

  • Feeling trapped can make you destructive.
  • Sometimes help can look a lot like punishment.
  • We can mistake family for strangers because of smell/appearance.
  • It’s hard to eat and drink on your own when you’re wearing the “cone of shame.”
  • That’s when you step in and feed them by hand.
  • Medicine that’s hidden in food goes down more easily.
  • The treatment against infection is sometimes painful.
  • The one stuck outside wants desperately to be inside. The one inside desperately wants to be outside.
  • We can’t always see the big picture.
  • Two weeks seems like an eternity.
  • It’s awful to not be able to scratch your own itch, and such a relief when someone comes to help.
  • It’s easier when you don’t fight it.
  • Wounds require a great deal of care to heal properly.
  • Fighting can be quite costly and painful.

She goes on to list four more lessons that she found “much more touching and beautiful.”

  • God didn’t set a limit on how much He was willing to pay for my sake.
  • He understand the groaning of my heart which are much too deep for words.
  • He is patient and attentive to detail in caring for my needs which continue throughout my life, and not just two weeks.
  • He is compassionate even when I am frustrating.