Category: family

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Thanksgiving

Thursday is Thanksgiving, the day set aside to stop and reflect on the things that we are thankful for. Then we fall asleep watching football. The good thing is that many people really do stop and think about their blessings.

There is much in my life for which I am thankful. First, and most importantly, I am thankful that the Creator of the universe is my Abba, and that he calls me son. I am thankful that I am a coheir with Christ of all things. I am grateful for God’s love and grace, and for his patience with me.

I am thankful for my family. I was blessed to grow up with a mom and dad who loved me unconditionally, and taught me a lot about following Jesus. I am thankful for my sister and her family, and for their love. I am thankful that they live relatively close. I am extremely thankful for the wonderful woman who shares my life. Jan is a blessing from the Father, and her love and support are essential to me. God has allowed us the privilege of bringing up two fantastic children. Josh and Jennie have given us countless wonderful memories, and we continue to be very, very proud of them. I am thankful for my in-laws. I have always felt loved and accepted, and Jan’s dad continues to be a strong support to us.

Like many folks in today’s economy, I am thankful I have a job. Beyond that, I am grateful to have a job where I can see a bit of difference made in what I do. I enjoy working with the middle school kids, and love the opportunity to coach the high school basketball team God has given me.
I am thankful for the things God has taught me over the last few years. My faith has been tested and stretched, and my dependence on the Father and my love for Jesus has deepened. Although their are still areas where the answers aren’t there, I am comfortable with the questions. I am grateful for the community God has led us to. We are a fellowship that is committed to loving God and loving each other. We are learning to open up to each other and accept each other, warts and all. We are seeking to live as free people in Christ and to help others find that freedom. The folks in our community have become a family, and they are all a real blessing to us.

I am thankful for the friends I have made along my journey so far, and for the ones who will come along later. I am grateful for those of you who read this blog, and for those who write the things that God uses to teach me. I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I am extremely blessed.

I will have limited computer access for the next few days, so the blog will be silent. I hope your Thanksgiving is blessed. Enjoy the day, and spend a bit of time thanking God.

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Community

Community is one of the favorite buzz words being used in churches today. Churches talk about being a community of faith, some call themselves _______________ Community Church. Now, I have nothing against community churches, the local body I gather with is St. Thomas Community Church. I also believe community is a vital thing for the church.

I wonder though, if we understand what community is. I’m not sure that most church goers know how to have community, or what it would look like. I also don’t think most church leaders understand it. Sometimes churches try to “build community” by having more Sunday school classes, or by having an extended meet and greet time during the Sunday morning service. Other churches have small groups throughout the week. Many times these efforts only serve as another program that gives the appearance of community, but does nothing to build up the people involved. Some smaller churches attempt to have community by seeking to control every area of their members’ lives.

One definition of community is: “a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society.” There are many other definitions, but it seems to me that this one fits what the church is meant to be. A local body of followers of Jesus is a group of people (that was a profound statement, wasn’t it). A local body is also within a larger society. So far, so good. I believe the key for the church is found in the found in the middle of the definition.

A community is a group living together. That may mean living in the same neighborhood, or even in the same house, and there are faith communities who do that. For most of us though, the idea of living together means doing life together. Doing life together is not easy in today’s society, but it is essential for community. It takes different forms, from a couple of people getting together for coffee one day a week to families meeting for dinner and spending time together. It can be “theology night” at a local pub, or folks in the church camping together. Doing life together can take many forms, but the important thing is that it happens more than just a couple of hours on Sunday.

A community is also a group with a common characteristic or interest. I believe that the only common interest that can bring about true community is Jesus. Church groups can form around many interests, from sports to cooking. “Accountability groups” are popular. While these groups can be good things, they can quickly become either social groups or exercises in navel gazing. The church has a built-in common characteristic. We are all members of the Body of Christ. We are all family. If a local body is focused on Jesus Christ, and is wrapped up in learning him, and being formed together into his image, we will grow closer together. We will invest ourselves and our resources in each others’ lives. We will grow to be open and vulnerable with one another. We will minister to each other. It’s not something that will happen overnight, in fact it make take years.

Being a community is like planting a garden. The plants don’t bear fruit right away. It takes constant, gentle care to keep the plants going. Sometimes weeds need to be pulled up. It can be messy. It may require effort when we don’t feel like it. But, the harvest is a beautiful thing.

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St. Augustine Trip – Final Day

The last night in the inn had passed. It was now time to say goodbye to St. Augustine and begin the trek back to South Carolina. But first, there were things to do and places to see. After one more delicious breakfast we hopped on the trolley and rode it around town again, stopping at Memorial Presbyterian Church, built by Henry Flagler as a memorial to his only daughter.


From there we walked to Flagler College, which occupies the old Ponce de Leon Hotel built by Henry Flagler. It’s a beautiful campus.
From there, we walked around the Spanish Quarter some more, going into buildings and shops that were closed in the evenings the other days.

After finishing our explorations, we had one final stop – the St. Augustine Lighthouse. The lighthouse reportedly is also haunted, although we didn’t see anything out of the ordinary there either.

What can be see though, are great views of the ocean and the city.After leaving the lighthouse, we said farewell to the oldest continuously inhabited city in the United States. We left behind a few dollars, but we took with us fond memories of good times together, as well as some pictures. We arrived home later that night, tired and happy. It was a wonderful trip.

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St. Augustine Trip – Day 3

After another wonderful breakfast at the St. Francis Inn, Jan and I went on a cruise around Matanzas Bay. The cruise gave us a look at the city from a different perspective.
After the hour and a half cruise (thankfully no one named Gilligan was on board), we walked back to the inn to get our car and drove to the beach. The inn provided us with a place to change, towels and chairs, so we didn’t have to take anything with us. While the weather was extremely hot back in South Carolina, it was very pleasant at St. Augustine Beach.
We ate dinner at a small beach restaurant named Mango, Mangos, and then went back and walked around the old city some more before going back to the inn for dessert. After a relaxing evening, we called it a night as we had some driving to do the next day.

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St. Augustine Trip – Day 2

After a good night’s sleep, we awoke to a beautiful north coastal Florida day. We went downstairs to the dining roomand filled our plates with a delicious breakfast, which we ate outside in the courtyard.

After breakfast, we hopped the trolley to travel around the city, picking out places that we hadn’t seen in our previous visits so we could go back to them later. We ate lunch at the Santa Maria Restaurant, where diners can feed bread to the fish in the bay through small trapdoors in the window sills.
After lunch, we walked around the old Spanish Quarter, looking at buildings that, in some cases, predated Jamestown and Plymouth. Of course, we also shopped. After we had tromped around for a couple hours, we went back to the inn for hors d’oeuvres and drinks. We then walked back to the old city gates for a ghost walk. The only problem was that I had bought the tickets on-line and for some reason we weren’t on the list for the time I had reserved. So, we had to wait for a bit. We walked to the Spanish fort and sat on a bench and just relaxed, watching people and the boats on the bay. After about an hour or so, we went on the walk. We heard some interesting stories of paranormal encounters, but we didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. There were a couple of folks in our group who took pictures that showed things that weren’t visible to the eye, so…

After the tour was over, we walked back to the inn and rested up for the next day.

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St. Augustine Trip – Day 1

We traveled to St. Augustine on Monday from Summerville, SC, having spent the night with my sister and her family. Since Jan shares my enjoyment of traveling off the interstate, we rolled down Highway 17 to I-95 South. We took 95 through South Carolina and Georgia to just north of Jacksonville, FL. There we exited and got on A1A, which winds down the coast through the beach towns and vacation homes of north Florida. On the way we found that traveling on this particular road includes a trip on a ferry.

After a 15-20 minute trip, we were back on the road. We continued south until we made it to St. Augustine and the St. Francis Inn. The inn is a bed and breakfast in a house that dates back to 1791.After checking in and resting for a bit, we had an anniversary dinner at an excellent Italian restaurant, and chilled out for the rest of the evening, resting up for some busy days ahead.

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30 Years

Thirty years ago, Jan and I set out on a journey together. Through those years the path has had many twists and turns. We have gone through jobs lost and found, leaving old friends and getting to know new ones, saying goodbye to parents, and seeing our children grow up and go out on their own. Of course, we have also gone through many of the adjustments that married couples make as they get to know each other.

We both had wonderful examples of marriage from our parents, so as we started out, we determined from the start that divorce was not going to be an option. That commitment, along with the grace of God, has helped make our marriage strong. Of course, it’s easy to want to stay with someone who you’ve never fallen out of love with.

God has truly blessed me with a woman like Jan. She has a wonderful sense of humor, which is a requirement for living with someone like me. Her love for Christ is evident in her demeanor and the way she approaches life. Through the years, as I have watched her teach Josh and Jennie and her school students, I have clearly seen her love for others. Her quiet and gentle spirit has been a calming influence for me many times, as well as her ability to cut through the fog and bring clarity to my sometimes muddled mind.

Proverbs 31:10 says that a noble wife is worth far more than rubies. I know that to be true. In Jan, I have found a noble wife whose worth exceeds not only rubies, but all other things as well. I know that I am truly blessed, and I am awed by the love that the Father shows me through her. I cannot imagine what life would be like without her.

Happy 30th anniversary, Jan. May God grant us many more. I love you more than yesterday, and less than tomorrow.

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Home Improvement

A church near us has a sign that reads, “For home improvement, bring the family to church.” When I first saw the sign, a number of thoughts ran through my mind. I was able to catch some of them before they ran away.

The first thought was how much I have come to disagree with the idea of “going to church.” It may a bit nit-picky, but I believe that the modern mindset that church is somewhere we go or an event we attend is a large part of the problem with evangelicalism. When “church” is a place or an event, then it becomes just a part of our lives, much like a club or other organization. We attend church, like we attend a play or a concert, and many times the result is the same. We invite people to events at church, hoping that they will like what they see enough to come back. This mindset can also bring about a spirit of competition between congregations. The dirty secret among many churches is that much “church growth” comes from folks moving from one church to another.

Another thought is that the sign reveals a mindset that “church” is the source of all the answers. If you just bring your family to church, everything will be fine. Along with this comes the moaning about all the kids who grow up in church and leave as soon as they get away home. Does anyone else see the contradiction? If taking your family to church was as effective as the sign seems to suggest, young people would be staying in church. A few years ago I heard a pastor of a prominent mega-church state that the hope of the world is the local church. This is the same view that the organization called church is what the world needs. The church is the “pillar and ground of the truth,” but that truth is Christ. It is only when the church is wrapped up in Christ that it can provide any hope.

The third thought that came to mind is that the key to home improvement is found in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” What would our homes be like if husbands actually began doing that?

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Church as Family

This past Sunday in our gathering, we were talking about gathering together as a church, and what it means to be a church. One of the points that was made was that we aren’t the church because we gather together, but that we gather together because we are the church, and we gather together as the church because we are family. We are children of our heavenly Father, therefore we are brothers and sisters. As Sister Sledge sang back in the day, we are family.

Now the term family conjures up different pictures for different people, some good and some bad. For me, regardless of the picture presented in many TV shows, the idea of church as family means several things. First, it means that we carry the same spiritual DNA. We have the Spirit of God within us, and we are God’s children. We are one because we have the same Father. The second thing family means is loyalty. The saying “blood is thicker than water” can be applicable here. People will do almost anything for those in their family, sometimes going to outrageous lengths. As I was growing up, my sister and I would tease each other and get into arguments from time to time, but woe to anyone outside our family who would try to hurt the other. Jan and I have also stressed that attitude of loyalty with Josh and Jennie.

Another aspect of family is the idea that certain responsibilities come with being a family member. Certain things are expected simply because of who you are. Of course, we all fail at different times, so one of those responsibilities is forgiving and restoring the erring family member. That is sometimes hard to do, but we do it because we are family. A fourth thing that family means is a willingness to give help when it is needed, and to receive help when we need it. This a two-sided coin. On the one hand we are ready to give to family when it is necessary. The flip side of that is being willing to ask for help. It’s easy sometimes to help others, but it can be a difficult thing to ask for help. Difficult, but necessary.

The final and most important thing I see in family is love. Love makes all the other things possible, and it is because of God’s love that we are family. Love can be difficult, even in families. Love opens us up and leaves us vulnerable, and sometimes family members hurt us. Sometimes we may be very good at extending love to others, but have a hard time receiving it from others. Both are needed in a family. Love, given and received, is the oil that makes a family run smoothly.

May God help us to be fully functional family.

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Fathers’ Day

Today is a day when fathers are remembered. It is a day of feelings, some good, and some bad. There are many who have loving Fathers, and today is a day of celebration. Others have absent or abusive fathers, and today is a day of hurt feelings. Still others have fathers who have passed on, and today is a day of remembrance. For me, this fourth Father’s Day since Dad passed away has been such a day.

Along with remembering my own father, I have been thinking today of the great privilege it is to be a father. This is my twenty-eighth Fathers’ Day, and I can say that I have been blessed beyond measure with my son and daughter. Those years have had their ups and downs, but I wouldn’t give them up for anything.

They say that having a child come into your life changes things, and that is certainly true. Not only does it change your lifestyle, it also causes you to become a student again. The lessons are not presented in a classroom, but are taught right in the middle of life. Sometimes the lessons are simple, and only need to be learned once. Other times the lessons are hard, and need to be repeated. The classroom is also a place of danger, for unlike an algebra or science lesson, failure to learn can have negative life-changing results. On the flip side, successful learning can have results that can be amazing.

*WARNING!* BRAGGING ALERT!

My heavenly Father has been gracious to me. Through the years of teaching and learning, Josh and Jennie have grown into young adults who are a source of great pride to Jan and me. They successfully navigated the teenage years, and have done well in the world of higher education. Josh has earned an undergraduate degree in mass communications, and a Master’s in architecture (anyone know of any firms that are hiring? 🙂 ). Jennie earned a bachelor’s degree in graphic design and photography, and created the marketing department at a visual effects studio in Los Angeles (look up Stargate Studios on youtube). I am confident that both of them will be successful in what their careers.

The thing that brings me more joy than their academic and career success is the knowledge that both of them have grown into responsible, caring individuals who are not afraid to walk a different path. They both have a heart for helping those less fortunate, and seeing God’s justice carried out in this world. If you are fortunate to have one of them as your friend, you have a friend that is loyal.

They are not afraid to ask questions, and are not satisfied with stock answers. Their relationship with Jesus has not followed what some would say is standard path, but their love for him is evident. The Father has had his hand on each of them from birth, and he is forming them into the image of Jesus. The Kingdom will benefit from the grace and glory of God shining through them.

As you may have guessed by now, I am extremely proud of my children and grateful to God for allowing me the awesome privilege of being their father. Josh and Jennie, I love you beyond words, and I am thankful for you.