Category: Jennie

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1000? Really?

I guess this is a milestone of sorts. This is my 1000th post on this blog. When I began this back in December of 2007, I had no idea I would still be writing a little over four years later. Some of you may be wondering why I’m still sharing the sometimes random stuff that rolls around in my brain. Probably because I can? Actually, I keep on because I hope that something I put on here will help, encourage, or challenge someone.

Since that winter day in 2007, the path of my life has taken a few twists and turns. Jan and I left one church, became involved in a couple of church plants (one fizzled and one blew up). I was done with the whole idea of church for a while. Then three years ago, God brought us to a church community that we have grown to love and see as family.

The journey has gone through wide open, sunny spaces and deep dark woods. I have been in a cave and come out again. I have learned over and over to trust the loving heart of my Father, and I have become more amazed at his unfathomable love for me. In the past couple of years, we have added two members to our family with the marriages of our two children.

In June, I lost a job and immediately gained a gig helping to take care of my father-in-law. That continues to this day, but I will have to be getting a regular job in the near future. I am trusting God to provide in his timing, as he always has.

Where this road takes me in the next four years is one of those unknowns. I am sure it will wind through forests, wide open spaces, and valleys. Maybe I’ll crank out another thousand posts. We’ll see. Thank you to all of you who have been with me on part of this trip. I hope that y’all (as we say here in the sunny South) will continue to travel along with me. It should be interesting.

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Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

If there is one word that best sums up the past year here in the sunny South, it would be the word interesting. There have been a lot of changes and adjustments through the year, especially in the second half. I started 2014 by choosing grace as my word for the year, and there have been multiple moments when I have had to lean on God’s grace.

The first five months of the year were relatively normal. Then, things got weird. June 5 was my last day at the middle school where I have been working the past eight and a half years. I didn’t actually go in to work that day though, because my father-in-law fell and broke his hip that morning. That was the beginning of the adjustments. I was without work and my father-in-law was taking a different road in his journey. As it has turned out, being out of work has allowed me the time to help him out and to take care of his financial affairs as well as helping him with doctor visits and life in an assisted living facility.

We made it through the summer, and in the middle of September we flew out to California for our daughter, Jennie’s, wedding. We had a wonderful time with her and with our new in-laws. I also had the honor of being the officiant at the wedding! That was an amazing thing, and I only choked up three times! We came back home, and within a few weeks our son told us that he and his wife were moving from Charlotte to Seattle so he could work with his cousin who has his own architectural design business. The idea of both of our children being on the opposite side of the country has taken some getting used to, but we know that it’s a great opportunity and we are happy for them.

We were able to get together with both of our children at the beginning of December, when we celebrated Christmas and a couple of birthdays. On the 19th, Josh and Alicia set out with all their worldly possessions in a Honda Fit. They drove across the country and arrived in Seattle two days before Christmas. Jan and I celebrated Christmas with her father, and then with some close friends. So Christmas was a bit different, but it was good.

Last night we said goodbye to one year and hello to another. While there are things I could wish had happened differently, I am grateful for God’s hand in everything. As we enter into this new year, I still don’t have a job, and I’m not totally sure how to proceed. The path is shrouded in fog, and we really don’t have a clue what will happen in the future. What we do know is that our Father loves us, and that his heart is good toward us. He knows what is to come, and how we are going to best represent his kingdom.

My word for this year is trust. My prayer is, “Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!”

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To Jennie On the Eve of Your Wedding

When you came into our lives we knew that the day would come when you would fly from the nest and begin a new chapter in your life. That day is upon us and we could not be any more proud of you or any happier for you. You have brought so much joy into our lives and it is wonderful to see how God has blessed you.

We are so proud of the woman you have become, and we are so pleased that God has brought you and Charlie together. We think he will be a good husband, who will love you as Christ loved the Church.

Jennie, we pray for God’s richest blessings on your marriage, as you travel through life together. May your lives be filled with joy and love. May the Father draw you close to him and fill you with his grace and love. We love you so much!

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What I Did During My “Summer Vacation”

On June 5, the last day of school, I left the teacher’s assistant job that I had held for the past 8 1/2 years. On the same day, my father-in-law fell in his garage and broke his hip. Thus began a very interesting summer.

Because of the accident, I actually didn’t go in for my last day. I won’t go into the details here, but it was time to leave. I had been looking for other work, preferably in sports and recreation, for a few months. I didn’t think it would be a hard or long search but, as seems to happen quite a bit, God had something totally different in store for me. Jan and I spent a good bit of the next few days at the hospital. Thankfully, everything happened in the same city in which we live. There were a few complications, so there were some times when we wondered what was going to happen next. Thankfully, the complications were taken care of and my father-in-law moved into a rehab facility. At the time, the goal was to get him healed and rehabilitated to the point where he would be able to return home and live his life as he had before the accident. During this time a number of possible work opportunities presented themselves. None of them were in sports and recreation, and none of them were immediate.

Fast forward to the end of July. Jan’s dad was finally able to put weight on his leg, so the therapy to get him walking and hopefully back home could begin. We would know something in about two weeks. At the same time a few of the possible job opportunities faded away. The one that remained was taking care of my father-in-law during the day, and possibly doing some tutoring on the side. In the midst of all this, our son found out that he had a mass on his thyroid that might be cancerous.

After a couple of weeks of rehab, we were told that Jan’s dad would not be able to go home unless someone could be there 24/7. So, we went on a search for an assisted living place that didn’t cost an arm and a leg and that would be good for him. We found a good place that was affordable, and moved him in just last Friday. He seems to be adjusting well. Two weeks ago, Josh had surgery to remove the thyroid and the biopsy report on the mass showed that there was no cancer! We are thankful for the way we have seen God provide in both of those things the past couple of months.

This past Wednesday, school resumed. I slept in. I still have nothing in the way of what could be called a regular job. There are possibilities still, but nothing concrete yet, except for the responsibility of being my father-in-law’s financial representative. There is much to be done in that area in the next few months. I may be subbing in a local Christian school, and there are preparations to be done for Jennie’s wedding in September. So, at least I won’t be bored.

The road continues to be shrouded in mist, and the way ahead is not as clear as I would like. I am learning to trust that my Father loves me and wants to give me good things. I am learning to live, not in expectation of certain outcomes, but in expectancy of what God is going to do as he expresses his love and grace to me.

So, the road goes on and on.

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End of an Era

A couple of weeks ago, I coached for what possibly will be the last time. While I never say never, and there is always the possibility that may change, it looks like my thirty four year career as a coach has come to an end. There are a lot of memories, mostly good, that come to mind as I reflect on what has been a major part of my life.

It all began in college, where I worked with the goalkeepers on the soccer team. That was when I decided that I wanted to coach. The coaches I had during my playing days had a profound impact on my life, and I wanted to do the same thing for others.

After graduation, I took a position at a small Christian school as athletic director and teacher.During the next four years, I coached boys soccer, basketball, and track. I drove the bus, van, or whatever vehicle was available. We traveled all over the Washington/Baltimore area, and one year drove a group of students all the way to Idaho for competition. We played on city soccer fields, church gymns, and had some pretty successful teams, winning a number of tournaments. One of the soccer players led the entire county in scoring one year, and a couple of basketball players went on to play in college.

The next stop was Cincinnati, where I again served as athletic director and coached soccer, basketball, and track. During my nine years there, we made it to the soccer state finals once, and made it to the basketball final four four times in a row, winning back-to-back state championships. Those teams were among the best defensive teams in the Cincinnati area, and one player ranked among the top players in career points in the state of Ohio. A couple of the players went on to play at the next level, and one is a successful high school basketball coach. After leaving that school, I assisted in a NCAA Division 3 women’s basketball program, where I got a small taste of the life of a college coach for one year. On that team, we had the number one player in three point shooting in the nation.

Our next stop was Rock Hill, South Carolina. There I coached a wider variety of sports. During the ten years there I coached boys and girls soccer, volleyball, girls basketball, and golf (really all I did is drive the golfers to matches and play behind them). While my teams were not as successful in terms of wins as some of the earlier teams, the athletes worked just as hard and were as much of a joy to coach. I also drove the bus, which gave me the opportunity to travel to Florida and Tennessee for tournaments. The best part was being able to coach both my son in golf, and my daughter in basketball. I cannot begin to tell you what a blessing that was to me. I had given up the search for a college job to be able to see them grow up, and being able to work with them and see them come to love sports like I do made it more than worth it. It’s something I would never trade.

The past eight years I have assisted on middle school football and track teams, and been the head coach on softball and volleyball teams. My “claim to fame” is assisting on the 8th grade football team on which Jadeveon Clowney played. I have also had the privilege to coach high school girls basketball on a higher level. I have been the head junior varsity coach and assistant varsity coach, working with one of the best coaches in the area. Those programs are the closest thing I could get to a college level job, and I thoroughly enjoy working with this individual. We had some good teams, making it to the SC AAAA Upper State championship one year. It is that program that I have said goodbye to as a coach.

It’s a bittersweet thing. My evenings will be much more free, and the long hours won’t wear me out. But, I know I will miss it. I have been blessed to be able to travel, to do something I loved for a long time, and to work with some fantastic people. If you are one of those who have spent some time with me, as a player or a fellow coach, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are the ones that made it such a joy.

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Repost: Pursuing the Virtuous Life

This was first posted on April 22, 2010.

One of the things I learned during my days as a teacher in fundamentalist Christian education was the fact that many of America’s founding fathers had lists of virtues or rules of behavior that were good things for the students to know and emulate. Ben Franklin had a list of thirteen, while George Washington had one hundred ten rules to follow. All in all the rules and lists are not bad things for people to check out and learn from. We obviously could use more civility and manners in today’s society.

The problem comes when we try to make ourselves virtuous by following a list of rules. Ben Franklin realized that while he had become a better person in many ways, he had not reached the state of moral perfection that he hoped to attain. Many churches preach, and many people believe, that following the dictates of their church or a set of rules from a particular group will help you be “right with God.” Many other churches who don’t have a long list of “standards” still preach steps to be closer to God, or any number of things you can do to be a better Christian. This kind of thinking, while it may make life a bit better, is nothing more than man’s attempt to do what only God can do.

What is forgotten in all the lists to follow is grace. Grace is the word that Christians use when they are talking about salvation. They are correct; we are saved by grace, not by anything we do. What is so often neglected is that we also live and grow by grace. As God’s children, there is nothing we can do to make him love us less. We can not tear ourselves away from God’s grace and love. It is also true that there is nothing we can do that will make God love us any more. We cannot add to the Father’s grace and love toward us. I love my son and daughter unconditionally. They cannot do anything that is going to make me stop loving them, and they do not have to do anything to earn my love. So it is with God. He loves us, period.

As we learn to accept and rest in that love it grows in us and our love for God and for others grows. The way we grow in the Father’s love is by spending time with him, seeing each day as an opportunity to be guided and shaped by the Spirit. We learn about the Father by looking at the Son, by immersing ourselves in the Gospels and seeing Jesus as he really is. The first disciples spent three years with the Master, eating and drinking with him , traveling with him, hearing his teachings and seeing how he lived those teachings out. After that, they were given the Holy Spirit and went out and turned the world upside down. We have the account of Jesus’ life and teachings, and we have the same Holy Spirit to guide us and empower us to become like Jesus.

Our lives do not hang on man-made rules or anything else that comes from our own efforts. We can become better people, but the Father’s goal is for us to become like Christ. That can only come from the grace of God working in our lives through the Spirit. It happens because God loves us. Rest in that love. Don’t try to be a virtuous person. Instead, learn from Jesus and let the Spirit teach you. Trust in the fact that the Father is shaping you into the image of Jesus. As the old hymn says, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.”

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Weekend Wanderings

Today is our daughter Jennie’s birthday. The time keeps moving by far too quickly. It really doesn’t seem like that long ago when I was coaching a tall, lanky high school girl on the basketball court. That girl has been out on her own for a few years now and is making her own way in the world. Jan and I are proud of our “little girl.” I don’t know how she’s getting older. I’m certainly not.

After a couple of weeks, here are the links:

Busy?
It’s okay to be sad.
Come and rest.
Eyes on him.
Immersion.

Scot McKnight on embracing mystery.
Zac Hunt on the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Arthur Sido on weakness.
Matt on post culture war America.
Richard Stearns on living as an authentic Christian.

Life!
The grace of the feast.
When God needed us.
Advent is about desire (HT: Scot McKnight).
Really? I hope not.

Alan Knox on the church and player-coaches.
Is the “evangelical disaster” a good thing?
The Internet Monk on preaching grace.
Wish dreams and the church.
Jeff Dunn is spinning the hits.

Imitation.
Alan Knox has a series on the church, the synagogue, and the city gates. Part 1 is here.
Good news.
Learning from strangers.
World’s scariest bridges.            

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For My “Little” Girl

27 years ago, God blessed us with a little girl. She came into this world the day after I coached a basketball game, and it seemed like she grew up in the gym. This little girl was a whirlwind of activity right from the start, and I’ve always maintained that she was put on this earth to have a good time, and to help others have a good time as well.

It has been an absolute joy and wonder to watch this little girl as she entered school to begin her education, as she entered the teenage years and I was blessed with the opportunity to coach her, as she went to college and began to mature into a young woman, and as she struck out to make her own impact on this world (although we still wish she wasn’t all the way across the country). It has been wonderful to watch how God has worked in her life, and how he continues to work.
Jennie, we are extremely proud of you. You bring joy into our lives simply by being who God made you to be. We pray that your heavenly Father will continue to bless you and hold you in his arms. We love you.
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Being Thankful

This Thursday is Thanksgiving Day, so in honor of the season I would like to list a few of the many things I am thankful for.

I am thankful, first of all, that I have a Father in heaven who calls me his child and who loves me with an inexhaustible love. I am thankful for what Jesus Christ has done for me, and for the great privilege of being called to follow him. I am thankful for the wisdom and guidance that the Spirit gives me in my day-to-day. I am thankful for the legacy of godly parents who taught me through their example how to follow Jesus. I am thankful for a sister who loves Jesus and loves me, and for her family.
I am thankful for an absolutely wonderful woman who I am blessed to call my wife. Her love and support means more to me than I can say. I am thankful for her family, and the way they have accepted me as one of their own. I am thankful for two fantastic children who are a joy and a blessing to me, and who have become fine young adults. I am thankful for friends who love me, who have taught me much, and who are not afraid to call BS when the situation warrants it.
I am thankful for a job that is more than just a job, but is also an opportunity to show God’s love to others. I am thankful that I get to coach, and use athletics to influence young people. I am thankful for good health. I am thankful for the Father’s provision down through the years, even though I didn’t always have a lot of faith at the time. I am thankful for the things God has been teaching me these past few years, even the lessons that were hard to learn.
I could go on and on. There is so much to be grateful for. Abba has showered me with his blessings. So, this Thanksgiving I will soak in the riches of God’s glorious grace and love.
I’ll be taking a few days of the rest of the week. Have a happy Thanksgiving!
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Thanksgiving

Thursday is Thanksgiving, the day set aside to stop and reflect on the things that we are thankful for. Then we fall asleep watching football. The good thing is that many people really do stop and think about their blessings.

There is much in my life for which I am thankful. First, and most importantly, I am thankful that the Creator of the universe is my Abba, and that he calls me son. I am thankful that I am a coheir with Christ of all things. I am grateful for God’s love and grace, and for his patience with me.

I am thankful for my family. I was blessed to grow up with a mom and dad who loved me unconditionally, and taught me a lot about following Jesus. I am thankful for my sister and her family, and for their love. I am thankful that they live relatively close. I am extremely thankful for the wonderful woman who shares my life. Jan is a blessing from the Father, and her love and support are essential to me. God has allowed us the privilege of bringing up two fantastic children. Josh and Jennie have given us countless wonderful memories, and we continue to be very, very proud of them. I am thankful for my in-laws. I have always felt loved and accepted, and Jan’s dad continues to be a strong support to us.

Like many folks in today’s economy, I am thankful I have a job. Beyond that, I am grateful to have a job where I can see a bit of difference made in what I do. I enjoy working with the middle school kids, and love the opportunity to coach the high school basketball team God has given me.
I am thankful for the things God has taught me over the last few years. My faith has been tested and stretched, and my dependence on the Father and my love for Jesus has deepened. Although their are still areas where the answers aren’t there, I am comfortable with the questions. I am grateful for the community God has led us to. We are a fellowship that is committed to loving God and loving each other. We are learning to open up to each other and accept each other, warts and all. We are seeking to live as free people in Christ and to help others find that freedom. The folks in our community have become a family, and they are all a real blessing to us.

I am thankful for the friends I have made along my journey so far, and for the ones who will come along later. I am grateful for those of you who read this blog, and for those who write the things that God uses to teach me. I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I am extremely blessed.

I will have limited computer access for the next few days, so the blog will be silent. I hope your Thanksgiving is blessed. Enjoy the day, and spend a bit of time thanking God.