Category: Jennie

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Church as Family

This past Sunday in our gathering, we were talking about gathering together as a church, and what it means to be a church. One of the points that was made was that we aren’t the church because we gather together, but that we gather together because we are the church, and we gather together as the church because we are family. We are children of our heavenly Father, therefore we are brothers and sisters. As Sister Sledge sang back in the day, we are family.

Now the term family conjures up different pictures for different people, some good and some bad. For me, regardless of the picture presented in many TV shows, the idea of church as family means several things. First, it means that we carry the same spiritual DNA. We have the Spirit of God within us, and we are God’s children. We are one because we have the same Father. The second thing family means is loyalty. The saying “blood is thicker than water” can be applicable here. People will do almost anything for those in their family, sometimes going to outrageous lengths. As I was growing up, my sister and I would tease each other and get into arguments from time to time, but woe to anyone outside our family who would try to hurt the other. Jan and I have also stressed that attitude of loyalty with Josh and Jennie.

Another aspect of family is the idea that certain responsibilities come with being a family member. Certain things are expected simply because of who you are. Of course, we all fail at different times, so one of those responsibilities is forgiving and restoring the erring family member. That is sometimes hard to do, but we do it because we are family. A fourth thing that family means is a willingness to give help when it is needed, and to receive help when we need it. This a two-sided coin. On the one hand we are ready to give to family when it is necessary. The flip side of that is being willing to ask for help. It’s easy sometimes to help others, but it can be a difficult thing to ask for help. Difficult, but necessary.

The final and most important thing I see in family is love. Love makes all the other things possible, and it is because of God’s love that we are family. Love can be difficult, even in families. Love opens us up and leaves us vulnerable, and sometimes family members hurt us. Sometimes we may be very good at extending love to others, but have a hard time receiving it from others. Both are needed in a family. Love, given and received, is the oil that makes a family run smoothly.

May God help us to be fully functional family.

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Fathers’ Day

Today is a day when fathers are remembered. It is a day of feelings, some good, and some bad. There are many who have loving Fathers, and today is a day of celebration. Others have absent or abusive fathers, and today is a day of hurt feelings. Still others have fathers who have passed on, and today is a day of remembrance. For me, this fourth Father’s Day since Dad passed away has been such a day.

Along with remembering my own father, I have been thinking today of the great privilege it is to be a father. This is my twenty-eighth Fathers’ Day, and I can say that I have been blessed beyond measure with my son and daughter. Those years have had their ups and downs, but I wouldn’t give them up for anything.

They say that having a child come into your life changes things, and that is certainly true. Not only does it change your lifestyle, it also causes you to become a student again. The lessons are not presented in a classroom, but are taught right in the middle of life. Sometimes the lessons are simple, and only need to be learned once. Other times the lessons are hard, and need to be repeated. The classroom is also a place of danger, for unlike an algebra or science lesson, failure to learn can have negative life-changing results. On the flip side, successful learning can have results that can be amazing.

*WARNING!* BRAGGING ALERT!

My heavenly Father has been gracious to me. Through the years of teaching and learning, Josh and Jennie have grown into young adults who are a source of great pride to Jan and me. They successfully navigated the teenage years, and have done well in the world of higher education. Josh has earned an undergraduate degree in mass communications, and a Master’s in architecture (anyone know of any firms that are hiring? 🙂 ). Jennie earned a bachelor’s degree in graphic design and photography, and created the marketing department at a visual effects studio in Los Angeles (look up Stargate Studios on youtube). I am confident that both of them will be successful in what their careers.

The thing that brings me more joy than their academic and career success is the knowledge that both of them have grown into responsible, caring individuals who are not afraid to walk a different path. They both have a heart for helping those less fortunate, and seeing God’s justice carried out in this world. If you are fortunate to have one of them as your friend, you have a friend that is loyal.

They are not afraid to ask questions, and are not satisfied with stock answers. Their relationship with Jesus has not followed what some would say is standard path, but their love for him is evident. The Father has had his hand on each of them from birth, and he is forming them into the image of Jesus. The Kingdom will benefit from the grace and glory of God shining through them.

As you may have guessed by now, I am extremely proud of my children and grateful to God for allowing me the awesome privilege of being their father. Josh and Jennie, I love you beyond words, and I am thankful for you.

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Pursuing the Virtuous Life

One of the things I learned during my days as a teacher in fundamentalist Christian education was the fact that many of America’s founding fathers had lists of virtues or rules of behavior that were good things for the students to know and emulate. Ben Franklin had a list of thirteen, while George Washington had one hundred ten rules to follow. All in all the rules and lists are not bad things for people to check out and learn from. We obviously could use more civility and manners in today’s society.

The problem comes when we try to make ourselves virtuous by following a list of rules. Ben Franklin realized that while he had become a better person in many ways, he had not reached the state of moral perfection that he hoped to attain. Many churches preach, and many people believe, that following the dictates of their church or a set of rules from a particular group will help you be “right with God.” Many other churches who don’t have a long list of “standards” still preach steps to be closer to God, or any number of things you can do to be a better Christian. This kind of thinking, while it may make life a bit better, is nothing more than man’s attempt to do what only God can do.

What is forgotten in all the lists to follow is grace. Grace is the word that Christians use when they are talking about salvation. They are correct; we are saved by grace, not by anything we do. What is so often neglected is that we also live and grow by grace. As God’s children, there is nothing we can do to make him love us less. We can not tear ourselves away from God’s grace and love. It is also true that there is nothing we can do that will make God love us any more. We cannot add to the Father’s grace and love toward us. I love my son and daughter unconditionally. They cannot do anything that is going to make me stop loving them, and they do not have to do anything to earn my love. So it is with God. He loves us, period.

As we learn to accept and rest in that love it grows in us and our love for God and for others grows. The way we grow in the Father’s love is by spending time with him, seeing each day as an opportunity to be guided and shaped by the Spirit. We learn about the Father by looking at the Son, by immersing ourselves in the Gospels and seeing Jesus as he really is. The first disciples spent three years with the Master, eating and drinking with him , traveling with him, hearing his teachings and seeing how he lived those teachings out. After that, they were given the Holy Spirit and went out and turned the world upside down. We have the account of Jesus’ life and teachings, and we have the same Holy Spirit to guide us and empower us to become like Jesus.

Our lives do not hang on man-made rules or anything else that comes from our own efforts. We can become better people, but the Father’s goal is for us to become like Christ. That can only come from the grace of God working in our lives through the Spirit. It happens because God loves us. Rest in that love. Don’t try to be a virtuous person. Instead, learn from Jesus and let the Spirit teach you. Trust in the fact that the Father is shaping you into the image of Jesus. As the old hymn says, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.”

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Spring Fever

I know it’s only January 25, but I’m already feeling a touch of the malady known as spring fever. Basketball season is winding down, and even though I am enjoying coaching more than I have in a few years, the long days and the traveling are beginning to wear a bit thin. I’m also getting tired of winter. I know, we really don’t have winter here in the sunny South, but I’m tired of it nonetheless.

Around this time of year, I begin looking around to see if maybe God wants me to do something else to earn a living. It’s not that I’m totally unhappy where I am, although the job is more stressful than I would prefer. It’s just that I try to keep my eyes open for opportunities that may be out there. Of course, there’s not a whole lot out there this year. Not too many jobs are coming open, so I’m definitely grateful I do have a job.

There are some changes on the horizon. Some we know about, some will make themselves known later. Jennie has been promoted at the company where she works, and it sounds like a great move for her. Josh will graduate in May, and will then have to go out and find a job. Hopefully the economy will improve to the point that architectural firms will be hiring. Jan and I will celebrate our thirtieth anniversary this summer, and we hope to do something special.

St. Thomas Community Church is looking at a future that has uncertainties ahead and decisions to be made. We are very close to outgrowing the space where we meet, and we’re not sure what the next step will be. There are many advantages to meeting in a bagel shop. We pay no rent, so any money that is given can go to help those in need. The setting is intimate so there can be good discussion during the teaching time. Right now, we’re small enough that we can begin to know each other more than just on a Sunday morning. We’re in the middle of the marketplace instead of being sequestered behind closed doors in “our place.” We’ve had a couple of the shop employees express an interest in checking us out.

We’ve never had anyone show up and then leave because we were too crowded, that we know of. The possibility exists that we will have to move, but for now we’re going to stay put until we have a clear indication from God where we’re supposed to go. Yesterday we talked about Abram in Genesis 12, and how God told him to go. Abram went, and there is no record that God told him specifically where to go, but that God simply led him. We feel like we’re kind of in that situation as a community. God has called us to be where we are, and to bless those around us. He is leading us step by step, and calling us to simply walk with him and be ready to do what he wants us to do. There is no five year plan (heck, we don’t even have a five week plan). There is no building program, and no plans to build a huge “ministry.” There’s just a day by day, week by week dependence on the Spirit, trying to listen to the still small voice of our Father.

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Reflections on a Year

Another year has come and gone. (That’s kind of a lame way to start, isn’t it?) It seems like the older I get the faster the years seem to pass, and 2009 was no exception. I’ve heard that the only thing that remains constant is change, and that has certainly been true this year.

As the year opened, Jan and I began going to a house church on Sunday evenings. The friend who I was going to help plant a church invited us to join him one night. There were about four or five couples there, as well as some children. We enjoyed the fellowship and continued to go every week. As time went on, my friend and his family never came back. Other folks came and went, and through this fellowship we began to help at a local camp that was getting started that summer. Now the house church has faded away, as an organized gathering, but we still get together with the host couple on a regular basis, sharing food, discussing spiritual things (sometimes), and serving some of the less fortunate together.

In June, we went out to California to visit Jennie. Josh had already driven out there, and he was out tour guide during the day. We saw where Jennie works and even “helped” during the filming of a short film. When we returned home, I finished my duties at the church we had been a part of for fourteen years, and we began to look around for a community of faith that would better fit what we thought “church” should be. At the same time the discussion about planting a church came up again, and within a couple of months, St. Thomas Community Church came into existence, meeting in a local bagel shop on Sunday mornings. God is working in our little community as we gather to explore God’s story and our part in it, and how we can follow Jesus in our day-to-day.

As the summer went on, the school where Jan was teaching closed. As you well know, this is not a good time to be looking for work. Jan ended up getting a part-time position in an assisted living facility. God has continued to be faithful and provide for us, although things certainly are tighter.
My duties at the school where I work changed again. I’m now in a class for emotionally disabled students. It is more challenging than what I was doing before, and I realize more and more how dependent I am on God’s grace. I’m still coaching basketball, and that is a highlight in my day.

In October, Jan’s mom went to be with Jesus. All of the family came in during the days before she passed, and it was good to see folks we hadn’t seen in a couple of years. It has not been an easy holiday season for us.

As I look back on the past year, I can see many things God taught me. Things about trusting him, about grace, about living in the moment. A couple of my paradigms have shifted, and a couple have been completely dismantled. (Someday, I’ll write a post about those things) I think the biggest change is that I have learned even more that my schedule, and my plans, are not mine. I need to hold everything with an open hand, and allow the Father to do what he sees needs to be done. So, as one year ends and another begins, I continue to try and follow Jesus on this winding road he has called me to.

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A Little Girl

Twenty five years ago today, on a cold Saturday in Cincinnati, a little girl came into our lives. She had given us a bit of the warning that she was coming the night before, at a basketball game. That would prove to be foretaste of what was to come.

We learned quickly that this child would be different than her brother. She was always an active girl who would sing herself to sleep at night. Fiercely independent, this little girl and I locked horns a few times, although she was always “Daddy’s girl.” As she grew, I knew that this bent would serve her well through her years.

As she grew into her teenage years, I had the joy of coaching her on the basketball teams at school. That experience bonded us closer, as we spent a great deal of time together. I watched, and ached, as she went through the usual high school stuff of trying to figure out relationships and dealing with friends who weren’t always the best. (What is interesting is that those friendships have continued through the years) I watched this daughter figure out who she wanted to be and how she wanted to relate to others. I saw her develop into a beautiful young lady. When she went to college, I cringed sometimes at the decisions she made, but I always felt proud of her, and I knew that the questions were eventually going to lead her to a faith that was real and was her own.

Now this girl is on the other side of the country, and sometimes it’s hard to see what life throws at her and not be able to be there. I know that her heavenly Father loves her even more than I do, and that he is shaping her into the person he wants her to be. In all, I am confident that God is going to continue the work that he has begun in her.

Happy Birthday, Jennie. I love you, as I always have. You are a blessing from God and I am so thankful for the privilege of being your father. I pray God’s grace and blessings be yours in abundance.