Category: Josh

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Bend in the Road

I’m sorry there was no Weekend Wanderings post this weekend. Jan and I were volunteering at a music festival put on by a local camp and were very busy Friday night and all day Saturday. Sunday was a full day as well, so I ran out of time. Next time.

From time to time, I like to let all my loyal readers (or maybe that’s reader) know what’s going on in my journey. Some of you know that I have had issues with the institutional church. I grew up in fundamentalism, earned a Bible college degree, and taught for years in Christian schools. I have seen the operation of churches as a member of the congregation, a very part time youth director, a worship leader, a deacon, and an elder. I have taught Sunday School, preached in the pulpit, and performed special music.

About two and a half years ago, we walked away from the institution. I helped a friend begin a “simple” church that met in a bagel shop. At first, things were great. We were building community and beginning to learn how  to disciple and love one another. By the end of the second year, that community had ceased to exist. Some of the folks went back to church, some left completely, and some of us began to meet in another bagel shop. Again, things seemed to be going well. After about four months, without warning, things fell apart. Again, some went back to church, and some just walked away.

Due to the circumstances surrounding the end of this second community, I was devastated. Jan was also hurt, and we both had a hard time for a while. We couldn’t figure out what had happened, and had no clue what God wanted us to do. After a lot of prayer, we felt the Father was telling us to rest, not to do anything but rest. There was still one individual who wanted to continue meeting with us, so we have been meeting in our dining room on Sunday mornings for the last four months. It has been good to meet with this person and do a chronological study of the life and teachings of Jesus, with the goal of being transformed by what we learn.

Four weeks ago, I felt the Father was telling us that it was time to be going. We had learned about a new church from our son, Josh and his fiancee, Alicia. The church meets on Sunday evening, so we were able to continue what we were doing in the morning. We checked it out, and decide we liked it. The group meets for a meal before the service, and celebrates Communion every Sunday. Those are two things that I have come to believe are essential in the life of a church. The music is good, and it’s not a show where the congregation does more watching than anything else. The mission of the church is to be a community that helps each other follow Jesus, and to reach out for the betterment of our city. Two more things I see as essential.

There are a couple of things that are not quite what I believe a local assembly of the church should be. Each Sunday there is a sermon, and the church is part of a denomination. I believe a participatory meeting is better for making disciples, and I also believe that a lot of denominational policies are extra-Biblical and can distract a church from its mission. I also have come to believe, however, that although I am not a fan of institutional church, the Church can be found anywhere God’s people gather, even in church.

So, we have taken a step toward what we think may be where God wants us to be. If we have found a community that is focused on Jesus, on helping each other to follow him, and on being a blessing to our city; if we have found Church within a church, then we will probably stay awhile.

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Has It Really Been That Long?

Tomorrow is Josh’s 29th birthday. It doesn’t seem like it has been that many years ago. The day he came into the world was a Sunday, the day after the Washington Redskins won the NFC championship and a week before they won the Super Bowl. Needless to say, one of the things that we have shared is being ‘Skins fans. Of course, that makes sense, since one of the other things we have in common is a love of sports.

Josh grew up in the gym. During one basketball season when he was young, he sat on the bench with me and had the job of keeping me calm when the referees weren’t doing their job. He did a pretty good job of it, as I recall. We went to basketball camps together, and when Josh was in high school we played golf together. Actually, he played. I chased the ball all over the course. It was always special watching him play whatever sport he was involved in, coaching him when I had the chance, and just watching and talking about sports.

Another thing we have shared is a love for books. Josh learned to read at an early age, and from that time until now he has always had a book that he is reading. That love of reading has served him well. Sometimes, when I can’t get hold of a book elsewhere, I’ll borrow one of Josh’s. I’ve read some interesting writing that way.

The most important thing we share, and the most gratifying to see, is a love for Jesus. As my love for my Savior has grown, I have seen Josh grow closer to him and learn to follow him more closely. That means more to me than anything else. It has been a joy to see Josh’s faith deepen as he has asked questions and learned to think for himself. His faith is not one which was simply passed down. It is his, a real, vital faith that plays itself out in his day-to-day.

Now, my son is engaged to be married to a wonderful young lady who also loves Jesus. He has had some ups and downs in the relationship department, and it is good to see his patience pay off in such a remarkable way. I am confident that Josh will be a good husband and father.

29 years has flown by. I couldn’t begin to tell you of all the memories, or to express how proud of him we are. We have been truly blessed.

Josh, we pray that the Father will bless you richly and give you many years to love and follow him. We pray that you will be blessed with children that are as much a blessing to you as you are to us. We love you Josh. Happy Birthday.

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Being Thankful

This Thursday is Thanksgiving Day, so in honor of the season I would like to list a few of the many things I am thankful for.

I am thankful, first of all, that I have a Father in heaven who calls me his child and who loves me with an inexhaustible love. I am thankful for what Jesus Christ has done for me, and for the great privilege of being called to follow him. I am thankful for the wisdom and guidance that the Spirit gives me in my day-to-day. I am thankful for the legacy of godly parents who taught me through their example how to follow Jesus. I am thankful for a sister who loves Jesus and loves me, and for her family.
I am thankful for an absolutely wonderful woman who I am blessed to call my wife. Her love and support means more to me than I can say. I am thankful for her family, and the way they have accepted me as one of their own. I am thankful for two fantastic children who are a joy and a blessing to me, and who have become fine young adults. I am thankful for friends who love me, who have taught me much, and who are not afraid to call BS when the situation warrants it.
I am thankful for a job that is more than just a job, but is also an opportunity to show God’s love to others. I am thankful that I get to coach, and use athletics to influence young people. I am thankful for good health. I am thankful for the Father’s provision down through the years, even though I didn’t always have a lot of faith at the time. I am thankful for the things God has been teaching me these past few years, even the lessons that were hard to learn.
I could go on and on. There is so much to be grateful for. Abba has showered me with his blessings. So, this Thanksgiving I will soak in the riches of God’s glorious grace and love.
I’ll be taking a few days of the rest of the week. Have a happy Thanksgiving!
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Thanksgiving

Thursday is Thanksgiving, the day set aside to stop and reflect on the things that we are thankful for. Then we fall asleep watching football. The good thing is that many people really do stop and think about their blessings.

There is much in my life for which I am thankful. First, and most importantly, I am thankful that the Creator of the universe is my Abba, and that he calls me son. I am thankful that I am a coheir with Christ of all things. I am grateful for God’s love and grace, and for his patience with me.

I am thankful for my family. I was blessed to grow up with a mom and dad who loved me unconditionally, and taught me a lot about following Jesus. I am thankful for my sister and her family, and for their love. I am thankful that they live relatively close. I am extremely thankful for the wonderful woman who shares my life. Jan is a blessing from the Father, and her love and support are essential to me. God has allowed us the privilege of bringing up two fantastic children. Josh and Jennie have given us countless wonderful memories, and we continue to be very, very proud of them. I am thankful for my in-laws. I have always felt loved and accepted, and Jan’s dad continues to be a strong support to us.

Like many folks in today’s economy, I am thankful I have a job. Beyond that, I am grateful to have a job where I can see a bit of difference made in what I do. I enjoy working with the middle school kids, and love the opportunity to coach the high school basketball team God has given me.
I am thankful for the things God has taught me over the last few years. My faith has been tested and stretched, and my dependence on the Father and my love for Jesus has deepened. Although their are still areas where the answers aren’t there, I am comfortable with the questions. I am grateful for the community God has led us to. We are a fellowship that is committed to loving God and loving each other. We are learning to open up to each other and accept each other, warts and all. We are seeking to live as free people in Christ and to help others find that freedom. The folks in our community have become a family, and they are all a real blessing to us.

I am thankful for the friends I have made along my journey so far, and for the ones who will come along later. I am grateful for those of you who read this blog, and for those who write the things that God uses to teach me. I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I am extremely blessed.

I will have limited computer access for the next few days, so the blog will be silent. I hope your Thanksgiving is blessed. Enjoy the day, and spend a bit of time thanking God.

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Church as Family

This past Sunday in our gathering, we were talking about gathering together as a church, and what it means to be a church. One of the points that was made was that we aren’t the church because we gather together, but that we gather together because we are the church, and we gather together as the church because we are family. We are children of our heavenly Father, therefore we are brothers and sisters. As Sister Sledge sang back in the day, we are family.

Now the term family conjures up different pictures for different people, some good and some bad. For me, regardless of the picture presented in many TV shows, the idea of church as family means several things. First, it means that we carry the same spiritual DNA. We have the Spirit of God within us, and we are God’s children. We are one because we have the same Father. The second thing family means is loyalty. The saying “blood is thicker than water” can be applicable here. People will do almost anything for those in their family, sometimes going to outrageous lengths. As I was growing up, my sister and I would tease each other and get into arguments from time to time, but woe to anyone outside our family who would try to hurt the other. Jan and I have also stressed that attitude of loyalty with Josh and Jennie.

Another aspect of family is the idea that certain responsibilities come with being a family member. Certain things are expected simply because of who you are. Of course, we all fail at different times, so one of those responsibilities is forgiving and restoring the erring family member. That is sometimes hard to do, but we do it because we are family. A fourth thing that family means is a willingness to give help when it is needed, and to receive help when we need it. This a two-sided coin. On the one hand we are ready to give to family when it is necessary. The flip side of that is being willing to ask for help. It’s easy sometimes to help others, but it can be a difficult thing to ask for help. Difficult, but necessary.

The final and most important thing I see in family is love. Love makes all the other things possible, and it is because of God’s love that we are family. Love can be difficult, even in families. Love opens us up and leaves us vulnerable, and sometimes family members hurt us. Sometimes we may be very good at extending love to others, but have a hard time receiving it from others. Both are needed in a family. Love, given and received, is the oil that makes a family run smoothly.

May God help us to be fully functional family.

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Fathers’ Day

Today is a day when fathers are remembered. It is a day of feelings, some good, and some bad. There are many who have loving Fathers, and today is a day of celebration. Others have absent or abusive fathers, and today is a day of hurt feelings. Still others have fathers who have passed on, and today is a day of remembrance. For me, this fourth Father’s Day since Dad passed away has been such a day.

Along with remembering my own father, I have been thinking today of the great privilege it is to be a father. This is my twenty-eighth Fathers’ Day, and I can say that I have been blessed beyond measure with my son and daughter. Those years have had their ups and downs, but I wouldn’t give them up for anything.

They say that having a child come into your life changes things, and that is certainly true. Not only does it change your lifestyle, it also causes you to become a student again. The lessons are not presented in a classroom, but are taught right in the middle of life. Sometimes the lessons are simple, and only need to be learned once. Other times the lessons are hard, and need to be repeated. The classroom is also a place of danger, for unlike an algebra or science lesson, failure to learn can have negative life-changing results. On the flip side, successful learning can have results that can be amazing.

*WARNING!* BRAGGING ALERT!

My heavenly Father has been gracious to me. Through the years of teaching and learning, Josh and Jennie have grown into young adults who are a source of great pride to Jan and me. They successfully navigated the teenage years, and have done well in the world of higher education. Josh has earned an undergraduate degree in mass communications, and a Master’s in architecture (anyone know of any firms that are hiring? 🙂 ). Jennie earned a bachelor’s degree in graphic design and photography, and created the marketing department at a visual effects studio in Los Angeles (look up Stargate Studios on youtube). I am confident that both of them will be successful in what their careers.

The thing that brings me more joy than their academic and career success is the knowledge that both of them have grown into responsible, caring individuals who are not afraid to walk a different path. They both have a heart for helping those less fortunate, and seeing God’s justice carried out in this world. If you are fortunate to have one of them as your friend, you have a friend that is loyal.

They are not afraid to ask questions, and are not satisfied with stock answers. Their relationship with Jesus has not followed what some would say is standard path, but their love for him is evident. The Father has had his hand on each of them from birth, and he is forming them into the image of Jesus. The Kingdom will benefit from the grace and glory of God shining through them.

As you may have guessed by now, I am extremely proud of my children and grateful to God for allowing me the awesome privilege of being their father. Josh and Jennie, I love you beyond words, and I am thankful for you.

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For Josh

Today you graduate from UNCC with a Master’s degree in architecture. As you stated in your blog, the past three years have been more about how you’ve grown as a person than learning about architecture. You have certainly learned a great deal about architecture, both in theory and in practical terms. But what is most evident is your growth as a human being and a follower of Jesus.

We have always been proud of you as you have grown up. We have a son who shows love for God by a concern for those less fortunate. We see the Father’s hand in your desire to build affordable, sustainable housing so that people who have to live in public housing have a good quality place to live. We see Jesus in you in your plans to move back to Nashville soon in order to help in the rebuilding efforts.

You are a special son, and we are grateful to God for you. We pray that God will continue to guide you and give you success in what you do. It has been a joy to have you here the last three years and we will miss you. We know however, that you must go where you’ll be most alive and where you’ll be best able to use what God has given you.

We love you, Josh. Congratulations.

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Pursuing the Virtuous Life

One of the things I learned during my days as a teacher in fundamentalist Christian education was the fact that many of America’s founding fathers had lists of virtues or rules of behavior that were good things for the students to know and emulate. Ben Franklin had a list of thirteen, while George Washington had one hundred ten rules to follow. All in all the rules and lists are not bad things for people to check out and learn from. We obviously could use more civility and manners in today’s society.

The problem comes when we try to make ourselves virtuous by following a list of rules. Ben Franklin realized that while he had become a better person in many ways, he had not reached the state of moral perfection that he hoped to attain. Many churches preach, and many people believe, that following the dictates of their church or a set of rules from a particular group will help you be “right with God.” Many other churches who don’t have a long list of “standards” still preach steps to be closer to God, or any number of things you can do to be a better Christian. This kind of thinking, while it may make life a bit better, is nothing more than man’s attempt to do what only God can do.

What is forgotten in all the lists to follow is grace. Grace is the word that Christians use when they are talking about salvation. They are correct; we are saved by grace, not by anything we do. What is so often neglected is that we also live and grow by grace. As God’s children, there is nothing we can do to make him love us less. We can not tear ourselves away from God’s grace and love. It is also true that there is nothing we can do that will make God love us any more. We cannot add to the Father’s grace and love toward us. I love my son and daughter unconditionally. They cannot do anything that is going to make me stop loving them, and they do not have to do anything to earn my love. So it is with God. He loves us, period.

As we learn to accept and rest in that love it grows in us and our love for God and for others grows. The way we grow in the Father’s love is by spending time with him, seeing each day as an opportunity to be guided and shaped by the Spirit. We learn about the Father by looking at the Son, by immersing ourselves in the Gospels and seeing Jesus as he really is. The first disciples spent three years with the Master, eating and drinking with him , traveling with him, hearing his teachings and seeing how he lived those teachings out. After that, they were given the Holy Spirit and went out and turned the world upside down. We have the account of Jesus’ life and teachings, and we have the same Holy Spirit to guide us and empower us to become like Jesus.

Our lives do not hang on man-made rules or anything else that comes from our own efforts. We can become better people, but the Father’s goal is for us to become like Christ. That can only come from the grace of God working in our lives through the Spirit. It happens because God loves us. Rest in that love. Don’t try to be a virtuous person. Instead, learn from Jesus and let the Spirit teach you. Trust in the fact that the Father is shaping you into the image of Jesus. As the old hymn says, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.”

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Spring Fever

I know it’s only January 25, but I’m already feeling a touch of the malady known as spring fever. Basketball season is winding down, and even though I am enjoying coaching more than I have in a few years, the long days and the traveling are beginning to wear a bit thin. I’m also getting tired of winter. I know, we really don’t have winter here in the sunny South, but I’m tired of it nonetheless.

Around this time of year, I begin looking around to see if maybe God wants me to do something else to earn a living. It’s not that I’m totally unhappy where I am, although the job is more stressful than I would prefer. It’s just that I try to keep my eyes open for opportunities that may be out there. Of course, there’s not a whole lot out there this year. Not too many jobs are coming open, so I’m definitely grateful I do have a job.

There are some changes on the horizon. Some we know about, some will make themselves known later. Jennie has been promoted at the company where she works, and it sounds like a great move for her. Josh will graduate in May, and will then have to go out and find a job. Hopefully the economy will improve to the point that architectural firms will be hiring. Jan and I will celebrate our thirtieth anniversary this summer, and we hope to do something special.

St. Thomas Community Church is looking at a future that has uncertainties ahead and decisions to be made. We are very close to outgrowing the space where we meet, and we’re not sure what the next step will be. There are many advantages to meeting in a bagel shop. We pay no rent, so any money that is given can go to help those in need. The setting is intimate so there can be good discussion during the teaching time. Right now, we’re small enough that we can begin to know each other more than just on a Sunday morning. We’re in the middle of the marketplace instead of being sequestered behind closed doors in “our place.” We’ve had a couple of the shop employees express an interest in checking us out.

We’ve never had anyone show up and then leave because we were too crowded, that we know of. The possibility exists that we will have to move, but for now we’re going to stay put until we have a clear indication from God where we’re supposed to go. Yesterday we talked about Abram in Genesis 12, and how God told him to go. Abram went, and there is no record that God told him specifically where to go, but that God simply led him. We feel like we’re kind of in that situation as a community. God has called us to be where we are, and to bless those around us. He is leading us step by step, and calling us to simply walk with him and be ready to do what he wants us to do. There is no five year plan (heck, we don’t even have a five week plan). There is no building program, and no plans to build a huge “ministry.” There’s just a day by day, week by week dependence on the Spirit, trying to listen to the still small voice of our Father.

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A Son

It was a Sunday morning in January, 1983. Just the day before, the Washington Redskins had won the NFC championship and were headed to the Super Bowl. I was in the shower, getting ready for church. It seemed like a normal day. Little did we know that our lives were about to be forever changed.

My morning routine was interrupted by the news that it was time to go to the hospital. You see, Jan was in her final days of her first pregnancy, and it was time for this child to come into the world. This first child was a son, someone to carry on the family name. We named him Joshua.

Within the first few months of this son’s life, we moved to the Cincinnati area. During his time there, we began to get a hint of the person this son would become. From asking us to put money in a box set up to collect for a ministry to the poor to expressing concern for homeless people we would see when visiting DC, his concern for the least of these was evident early on.

We learned very quickly that this boy was very intelligent, and our challenge became helping him to develop that intellect. Fortunately he loved to read, and regular trips to the library became our ally. We found out though, that keeping him challenged in school would be more difficult. Although we never really had to worry very much about grade, we did have to nudge him a couple of times in middle school after we had moved to South Carolina. One thing we learned about this son during these years is that while he loved to learn, and was interested in a wide range of subjects, things like grades and class ranks didn’t really interest him.

When he went away to college, we missed him. We knew that going away would be good for him, and for us. He was in a place where his faith would be both challenged and strengthened, where he could grow into the person God wanted him to be. He graduated ready to take on the world.

God had other plans though, and he went through a couple of years of temporary jobs and economic difficulty. As time went on, he came to feel drawn in a different direction. Deciding on a career in architecture, he made the hard decision to leave his friends and the city he had come to love and come back home to pursue a graduate degree. It has been difficult at times for him.

In four months, he will graduate. Then it’s out into the real world. Jobs are scarce, but we are confident that God has something out there for him. One thing that has not changed is the heart for the poor and downtrodden that was there when he was a child. It will be exciting to see how God will combine that heart with the art and science of architecture.

Little did we know what the last twenty seven years would bring. We are extremely gratefully to the Father for the privilege of parenting this special son. Josh, we love you and are very proud of you. You have brought, and continue to bring, great joy to us. We pray for God’s continued blessing on you, and for his guidance as you step into your future.

Happy birthday, Josh. We love you.