Category: loss

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Inside Out

A little while ago, Jan and I went to the movie theater to see Inside Out. The reviews were pretty good and a few people that I know had seen it and liked it, so we decided to give it a try. We both really enjoyed it and would highly recommend it. I thought the film had a good message that is relevant to those of us who follow Jesus.

In the movie, Joy was the leader of the emotions rolling around in the lead character’s head. The other emotions were Anger, Fear, Disgust, and Sadness. As the main character, a girl named Riley, went through different experiences in her life, the emotions all had a part to play. The only emotion that was sometimes shut out was Sadness. Joy was so dominant that she wouldn’t let Sadness do much of anything. As the film progressed, the girl and her family moved to a new town. Somehow, in spite of the best efforts of Joy, Sadness touched some memories and things began to rapidly deteriorate. At one point Joy and Sadness were sucked out of Riley and Anger was left to run things. Things went from bad to worse, until Riley decided the only thing to do was to run away and return to her former hometown.

As Joy and Sadness desperately searched for a way to save Riley, they went through a wide range of memories and things that had happened in her life. Finally, Joy realized that the only way to save Riley was to let Sadness play her part. That caused Riley to become sad and, in that sadness, return to her parents. As happens in most movies, everyone lived happily ever after. Joy realized that Sadness had an important part to play in Riley’s life.

I think that lesson is something that many Christians need to learn. We tend to want joy all the time. Our worship songs speak of how wonderful it is to be a Christian. “There is joy in serving Jesus.” We are told that the world out there needs to see us happy and “joyful” so they will want what we have. Some of us are told that bad things happen only because satan is attacking us, and we need to believe and rise above it, in effect pretending that we are not hurting. It is implied (and sometimes stated outright) that if we are sad, there is something wrong with our faith.

That way of thinking is contrary to so much of what we see in Scripture, and has not been the experience of God’s people through the ages. Even a quick reading through the Psalms shows a range of emotions, from joy and gladness to sadness and despair. A number of Psalms are songs of lament, asking God why evil happens to good people or why the wicked prosper. Most of those do end in confidence that God will act and that justice will be done. There is always a sense of trust in God even in the midst of deep despair, but the psalmists are always honest about their feelings. God’s people have always faced trouble. Jesus told us that we will have trouble in this world. We live in a broken world with broken people. The difference is the knowledge that our Father is in control, even when tragedy strikes.

By denying any of our emotions, we deny our humanity. We also deny our own brokenness and our own need of a Savior. By denying grief, we deny the opportunity to experience the deep comfort of our loving Father, and the chance to comfort others who may go through the same things. Life is not all sweetness and light. Evil still is active in the world. Sin is still around in us. There will be plenty of opportunities in life to experience sadness and grow from it, just as there will be plenty of opportunities to experience joy and happiness. We are citizens of a kingdom that is now, but not yet. Now we still must deal with grief. Someday all our tears will be wiped away and all sadness will be gone.

Until then, grieve when it’s time to grieve. Grieve well, as those who have hope. Rejoice when it’s time to rejoice. Rejoice well, as those who have hope. Don’t put on a happy mask and deny the sadness. Give space for the Spirit to do his work through everything that comes into life. Be a whole person.        

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Church Signs: We Are Not Closed

In my travels driving a shuttle bus for a local camp, I pass a church that has a sign out in front. Over the years they have put up some interesting messages, some of which have been fodder for my blog posts. Early in the summer, there was no message on the sign. The sign remained silent for a number of weeks, and I began to look for signs of life each time I drove by. Evidently I wasn’t the only one who wondered if they had gone away. Just recently, a message appeared advertising their vacation Bible school. At the bottom of the message was an addendum, which read, “We are not closed.”

As usual, the wheels in my head started to turn. I started thinking about what people would say if a particular church closed. Maybe it would be useful if we asked ourselves, “If my church closed, would anyone notice? If they did notice, why would they notice? What difference would it make?”

Would folks notice because the Sunday traffic in their neighborhood suddenly dwindled? Maybe the sudden ease of getting a restaurant table on Sunday afternoon would catch their attention. Would the people in your city take notice that they are no longer harangued by people yelling at them, telling them how wicked they are? Would your neighbors notice that you are no longer there, and rejoice?

Or, would your city discover that you are gone, and mourn? Mourn because there is now a gap in the care for the poor in that city. Mourn because there is a lack of salt and light in certain areas of the city. Mourn because the church was a place from which people went out and brought the kingdom of grace, love, and shalom to their city.

There are other questions. If your church closed, would it, should it make any difference in how your city is blessed? Do you need an organization or program to love your neighbors or serve those less fortunate? I know that there are things that are better accomplished by larger groups, but do we need them to love others and be good neighbors?

Let us, as individuals, shine our light and love those around us as Jesus loves us. Let us, as groups of Jesus followers, band together to be a blessing to our cities. Let us take the words of Jeremiah seriously and seek the good of the city in which God has put us. Let us live such lives as would cause those around us to be glad that we are there, whether as individuals or as part of a church congregation.

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1000? Really?

I guess this is a milestone of sorts. This is my 1000th post on this blog. When I began this back in December of 2007, I had no idea I would still be writing a little over four years later. Some of you may be wondering why I’m still sharing the sometimes random stuff that rolls around in my brain. Probably because I can? Actually, I keep on because I hope that something I put on here will help, encourage, or challenge someone.

Since that winter day in 2007, the path of my life has taken a few twists and turns. Jan and I left one church, became involved in a couple of church plants (one fizzled and one blew up). I was done with the whole idea of church for a while. Then three years ago, God brought us to a church community that we have grown to love and see as family.

The journey has gone through wide open, sunny spaces and deep dark woods. I have been in a cave and come out again. I have learned over and over to trust the loving heart of my Father, and I have become more amazed at his unfathomable love for me. In the past couple of years, we have added two members to our family with the marriages of our two children.

In June, I lost a job and immediately gained a gig helping to take care of my father-in-law. That continues to this day, but I will have to be getting a regular job in the near future. I am trusting God to provide in his timing, as he always has.

Where this road takes me in the next four years is one of those unknowns. I am sure it will wind through forests, wide open spaces, and valleys. Maybe I’ll crank out another thousand posts. We’ll see. Thank you to all of you who have been with me on part of this trip. I hope that y’all (as we say here in the sunny South) will continue to travel along with me. It should be interesting.

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Thursday

Tonight is the night that Jesus began to show us the full extent of his love. He gathered with his disciples and performed the work of a lowly household slave by washing their feet. He then served as the host of the Passover meal, reworking it to be something that would commemorate his sacrifice for us. After the supper, Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane, where he begged the Father to let the cup of suffering go on by him. I believe that in the garden, Jesus began to experience all the grief and agony that is common to those of  us who are human beings. Had he not been upheld by the Father, the grief would have been overwhelming. As it is, his sorrow is unfathomable to us.

As I think about that night, there are some things that I feel God wants me to learn. The first is the sacrificial love I am to show to others. As Jesus not only gave his life, but also humbled himself to do a dirty, abasing job, so I am called to do whatever it takes to show love to others, especially to my brothers and sisters in Christ. While I may not be called to host dinners, I am called to invite others into the presence of the One who gave his life. I can do this by proclaiming the Gospel to those who haven’t embraced it. I can also live out the Gospel as I relate to others and let them see Jesus in me by my love.

As I look at Jesus in the garden, I see a God who has gone through pain and suffering. I don’t believe that the Father intends for us to live a pain free life. Instead I believe that Jesus entered into our pain and grief while here on earth, and that he calls us to also enter into his suffering. I don’t like suffering at all, but it is a huge comfort to know that Jesus has experienced what I go through, and understands. I don’t belong to a god who tells me to buck up and take it like a man. I belong to a Father who understands, who is there to comfort me in my affliction, and who has redeemed, and is redeeming everything in my life. I am part of a kingdom whose history is a salvation history, a kingdom where all things will finally be made right, a kingdom whose King went through the worst that death and hell could muster and came out victorious. Because of this, there is nothing I need to fear.

May you find comfort and encouragement in remembering this night.

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The Larger Story

This past summer, when the wildfires hit Colorado, John Eldredge and a friend were having a meal together. They were discussing the fires and the possibility of being directly affected. They talked about what they thought Jesus was saying through everything. They both said, “Trust the Larger Story.”

This is a good thing to do throughout life in general. We live in a world that is broken, and we deal with broken people. Not only that, we are broken ourselves. Stuff happens in our day-to-day lives and all around the world. Not a day goes by that we don’t hear or read about tragedy and death. Sometimes we are the ones experiencing those things. We get sick, jobs are lost, friends disappoint. Sometimes we just struggle with living. But, that is not the whole story.

The story is not about us. We are not the heroes. We are living in God’s story, the story of a Kingdom and the restoration of all creation. It is a much larger story that spans eternity. We are in that story, and we all have a part to play, whether big or small. It is that story that gives us hope and encouragement.. The thing we need to do is take our eyes off ourselves and focus on Jesus and what he is doing. That’s the hard part. We tend to be so wrapped up in what is happening to us in that moment that we forget that there is more going on than what we can see with our limited vision.

A few weeks ago, Dan Edelen at Cerulean Sanctum wrote a good post about Romans 8:28. In this post he spoke of the good for which God works all things, and the fact that the things that happen to us don’t always seem to fit into this verse. Dan asks,

“What if the Creator’s intention for ‘those who love God’ isn’t primarily for the individual crushed by circumstance? What if the ‘those’ consists of the greater mass of Christendom?”

 What if the intention is for the overall good of the Kingdom? The early church believed that the Kingdom spread through their suffering, just as it had been inaugurated in Jesus’ suffering on the cross and his resurrection. Believers who have suffered for Christ through the centuries have understood this. Here in the West we have a hard time grasping this concept. Our vision of our faith is extremely personal.

Remember that the Larger Story began long before any of us arrived, and it will continue to be played out long after this life is over. It is a story that is about the Creator and the love he has for his creation. That story will come to its climax. Perhaps then, we will look back at our part in the play and say, “Now I understand.”

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Repost: Learning

This is something I wrote a few years ago. I’m putting it up today with the thought that someone may need some encouragement and possibly this will help a bit.

I was there
I knew the truth
Then you decided I had more to learn
At first it was easy
The new things were “positive” and encouraging
Then you decided I had still more to learn
Then it was hard
The new things were “negative” and discouraging
Hours of solitude and inactivity
Silence from heaven
I was in the desert
Waiting and waiting. Waiting and wondering
When will it end?
How long will I be out here?
Faith had been mine
But faith was misplaced
My faith was in what you would do
And you didn’t do
What is going on here?
Why isn’t this working?
You finally spoke
You told me to be patient
You sent me teachers
Those who had traveled the same path
I finally learned
To trust in you
Not in what you might do
But in you as you are
I departed the desert
But I left some things there
Just in case

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Repost: Continuation of “Even More”

I had lost my hero, my adviser, my example. That next Christmas was hard. The biggest thing about the celebration of Christmas for me had always been family, and now I was an orphan.

At the same time a group of us in our church had decided that things needed to change or we could no longer continue there. A few months before this, we had gone to two Sunday morning worship services. One was a traditional service and the other was a more contemporary service. The church was losing people and it was thought that if we provided opportunity for people to worship as they preferred, it would strengthen and grow the church. The contemporary service quickly became just like the traditional service, only with cooler music.

Our group of “revolutionaries” believed that we needed to approach “church” from a fresh angle. We agreed that the church needed to reach into the community around us. We began to meet weekly to set out a course of action and to plan the weekly gatherings. At first, things were moving in a direction that really encouraged me. I was an elder, and had agreed to become an elder in order to try and influence the church in a direction that was more “emerging”. Someone accused us trying to break away and start a new church. I said that I had no interest in planting a new church. (Famous last words)

As time went on I realized that the only way we were going to do what we believed God wanted us to do was to actually begin a new church under the auspices of the original church, with our own leadership. Unfortunately, there were a number of people in leadership, as well as other influential members, who wanted to have a say in what we were doing. We were accused of dividing the church and conditions were put on what we were doing. The conditions were probably good but they essentially put brakes on our efforts. As time went on, the enthusiasm for “doing church” differently waned and the worship service reverted to same old same old with cooler music. At the same time, there were positive signs, so I still planned to stay around and minister where I could.

Toward the end of the summer, I heard about a possible church plant here in Rock Hill. I was immediately intrigued. I contacted the one doing the planting and as we talked and got to know each other a little bit, God began to nudge me in the direction of helping in the plant. As time went on and I began to read and study, I became increasingly convinced of the need for a new church in Rock Hill. God continued to work on me, and by the end of December I decided to leave the current church and help plant the new one.

So now, I’m about to set off on another leg of my journey. Where this one will lead only God knows. If there’s on thing I’ve learned through the years it’s that no matter how much the road twists and turns, and no matter how dark things get, my Father is with me and is leading me exactly where he wants me to go. That makes the trip an adventure rather than a chore.

Should be fun.