Category: my journey

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Tom Sawyer Christianity

In Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer gets Huck Finn and a group of boys together to form a gang of robbers and murderers. Tom gives the gang members a list of rules that they must follow in order to be a part of the gang. When questioned about some of these rules, Tom says that these rules must be followed because that’s what robbers and murderers did in the books that he read. Because it was in the books, that’s what robbers and murderers did, therefore that’s what the gang was supposed to do. Of course, the rules had nothing to do with reality, and the boys ended up doing what you would expect from a group of young boys: they pretended to rob and kill. No one was harmed, and the gang eventually broke up because it got too hard to get together.

As I read I thought how much this is like a large segment of Christianity today. Folks gather in buildings every Sunday and listen to what essentially is a list of rules that they must follow in order to be in the gang. These rules range from behavior codes regarding dress, music, etc., to principles and steps to follow to be a better _______________. The unfortunate thing is that some in those buildings think they are part of the Body because they made a decision and are following the rules, but are deluded. While determining whether someone really belongs to Christ is way above my pay grade, a good look at the fruit shows a problem.
The rules and the principles and steps are like the rules in Tom Sawyer’s gang; they do not correspond to reality. What is real is that Jesus has finished it. He has done everything that needed to be done. Christ has accomplished everything we need. When he said, “It is finished,” on the cross, he meant it. He has called us to follow him, and has given us everything we need to do that. Christ did not call us to give assent to a set of propositions about him. He did not tell us to follow a set of rules, to get our act together, or to “get right” with him. He called us into relationship with him.
It is true that a relationship with Jesus will bring about changes in our lives. We are a new creation, and we are called to live as people who are different. Those changes that make us different will come about by the Spirit of God in us, not from following a set of rules or steps. We are not only saved without human effort, we also live in the power of the Spirit, not our own power. We can not get any closer to God by our efforts, we can not please God in our own strength. Everything we do must be done by God’s power. Tom Sawyer’s gang failed because they were trying to be a gang like Tom had read about, but had no ability to do what those gangs did. How many Christians flounder in their lives, and how many congregations are powerless because they are trying to be what they have read about, but are doing it in their own power.
Tom Sawyer’s gang was playing at being a gang. I wonder how many of us who claim Christ are playing at following him. What would it look like if churches were made up of people who were fully committed to following Jesus in the power of the Spirit?
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The Celtic Christians believed in “thin places,” places where the veil between heaven and earth was thinner than usual. These spots were good places to experience the presence of God and hear from him. I have never been to a place that could be described that way, until today.

This evening while driving the Camp Canaan shuttle to Charlotte, I experienced something I never have before. We were traveling through Ft. Mill and it was raining. The sun was shining behind us and I looked up and saw the most perfect rainbow I have ever seen. It was bright and all the color bands were uniform. As we went down the road, it looked as if the rainbow was forming an perfectly centered arch over the road. The rainbow faded out as the sun went behind some clouds. When it came back it was joined by another rainbow, above the first and not as bright. The bows then faded again.

The sun reappeared, and the first rainbow was back again, but this time it looked like it was right in front of us. As I looked to the right and to the left, I could see where the rainbow began and ended. No, I didn’t see a pot of gold. As I looked at the rainbow reaching to the ground, I thought of heaven touching earth, and I was immediately overwhelmed with a sense of the presence of my heavenly Father, and of his love and care for me. I was filled with a peace such as I have not often experienced. That sense of God’s love and of peace has stayed with me throughout the evening.

I believe I was in one of those thin places. I always thought I’d have to travel to some far away location to find one, if they existed. Here was one in Ft. Mill, SC of all places. It just goes to show you what Abba can do, when you least expect it. I don’t plan on going searching for thin places every time I see a rainbow, but my prayer is that God would make my life a thin place, where heaven touches earth.

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It’s Time Once Again…

…to celebrate. It’s time to remember an event from the past. No, I’m not talking about the thing that happened 235 years ago. This event is in the more recent past. Thirty one years ago, as a matter of fact.

Yes, that’s right. It’s time once again to celebrate the day that Jan and I said, “I do.” Tomorrow, July 5 is our thirty-first anniversary. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, but on the other hand, it seems as if we have been married forever. I have a hard time imagining what it was like to be single. In fact, I can’t imagine life without Jan.
Over the years we have grown as individuals, and as a couple. God has brought us through so many different experiences, some that were joyous and some that tried our faith. We’ve raised two children and experienced much that goes along with that. We’ve seen three of our four parents age and pass from this earth. We’ve had tough financial times when we wondered where the money was going to come from, and we’ve had times when we could pass on some extra to those in need. We’ve lived in the Washington, D.C. area, Cincinnati, and Rock Hill, SC. We’ve worked in the same schools, and we’ve spent time in different jobs. Through it all, we have seen the Father take care of us and provide for us in ways we never could have imagined.
Our faith journey has taken its share of twists and turns. We’ve spent time in different types of churches, and are currently part of a fellowship that meets in a house. Our understanding of and relationship with God has changed and grown over our life together. As our relationship with God has deepened, our love for each other has deepened as well. I am learning more and more how to love Jan as Jesus loved the church, although I still have a long way to go. Again, the faithfulness of Abba has been an amazing thing.
The last thirty one years have been a wonderful part of my journey. I’m extremely thankful to God for the precious gift he gave me in Jan. I’m looking forward to what the next thirty one + years will bring.
Jan, I love you so much more than yesterday, and so much less than tomorrow.
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“Come To Me, and I Will Give You…”

Rest? I know that’s what Jesus said, but how many of us really live like he has given us rest? How many of us have learned “the unforced rhythms of grace,” as The Message puts it. For many of us, the first thing we learned when we became a Christian was that there were certain expectations that we were to live up to in order for God to bless us, or at least in order to stay in the good graces of the group. Some still live that way, and are burdened by a load as heavy as the one the Pharisees put on the Jews of Jesus’ day. Others have broken away from that bondage but taken on another heavy burden, the burden of “proving” how free they are in Christ. Even if we are not burdened by Pharisaical rules or by a need to prove our Christian liberty, we may have a hard time simply resting in God’s grace and mercy.

One of the things that the Father is teaching me is that he loves me, my family, and my friends dearly, and that his heart is good toward them. He takes care of his children. Even though I have seen the hand of God numerous times as he takes care of us, I am having to constantly be reminded by my Father that we are all in his arms, and that it is not my job to do what only he can do. I can only do what God has called me to do as a husband, father, and friend. I cannot change anyone’s heart. I cannot make them do what I think they should do. I can’t heal anyone. I can’t provide jobs. Only the Creator of the universe can do that.

I am learning that the only thing I can do is love them, pray for them, and give them any help that I can. As I do those things, I have to rest in Abba’s love and grace and trust him to do what is good. When I am able to do that, it brings a peace and contentment that is not there when I try to do God’s job or worry about how he is carrying it out. As many times as I’ve seen that played out, you’d think I would have learned that lesson well. I am learning it, but I still have a ways to go.
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Hearing From God

When I was growing up, we were taught that the only way God spoke to us today was through the Bible. Most of the time that meant the Bible as interpreted and explained by the man preaching from the pulpit up front. There were numerous Bible study aids and approved teachers that could further explain anything anything we needed to know. God may have spoken to the saints in the Bible, but that ended when the canon of Scripture was complete. Folks who claimed that God spoke to them were out there on the fringe.

Over the past few years, my views on the subject have changed. As I have been exposed to the wider variety of people and ideas in the Body of Christ, I come to accept that God does speak to his people today. I realize that the One who created the universe can speak to anybody he pleases, in any way he chooses. Up until the last couple of months however, I wondered if, and how, God would ever speak to me.
While reading Walking With God by John Eldridge, it was suggested to me that I try an exercise that is in the book. The exercise was to ask God how I felt I was doing, and then to ask him how he saw me. So, I decided to give it a try. I asked what I thought about myself, what I really felt deep down. I was thinking something along the lines of “okay,” “could be better,” or something along those lines. While I was asking, the word, “failure” came to me. I immediately recognized it because I knew that was exactly how I saw myself. Not that I was a total, abject failure, but that I just never quite measured up, that whatever I did just wasn’t quite good enough. Needless to say, that threw me for quite a loop.
The next part of the exercise was to ask God what he thought. So, I asked, and waited for the answer. And waited. And waited. All night I asked God what he thought. I began to wonder if maybe I was right, and that God agreed with me. On my way to work the next morning, I continued to pray. As I did the words “clay jar” came to mind. I realized that God was speaking to me. Not in an audible voice, but through my heart. God was telling me that I was not a failure, but that I was a clay jar for him to fill. Over the next few weeks, God continued to expand on that idea, and I am learning to listen and recognize the voice of my Shepherd. I am learning that that voice can come any number of ways, from a song on the radio to something I read, from a prompting deep in my heart to a friend’s words to me. God still speaks through Scripture, but now I firmly believe that we cannot limit how God chooses to communicate.
By the way, try the exercise. You may be surprised.
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500 Posts

I realized sometime in the past few days that I reached the magical (?) 500 post milestone. When I started this blog back in 2007, I had no idea how long I would be doing this. I enjoy writing, but I didn’t know if I could think of things to write about. It seems that I’ve been able to think of a few things over the years. Whether those things have been worth writing about is left for history to judge (Boy, that sounds pretentious, doesn’t it?).

Over the three and a half years that I’ve been writing this blog, I’ve met a lot of good people on-line, and read an awful lot of good material from other bloggers. I’ve been encouraged by many readers, and challenged by others. Many of my ideas have been shaped and crystallized both by those I read, and by those who leave comments.
I plan on continuing to write, for awhile anyway. There’s still a lot of stuff rolling around in my head. Some of it is actual thoughts. As those thoughts form, I’ll put them into words and put them on here for all to see. Hopefully some of you will be encouraged, some of you will be challenged. Some of you may even be angered, but I’m going to try and not worry about that. My writing comes from the heart, and from the point of view of someone who sees what has happened to the movement that Jesus started and doesn’t like much of what he sees. Thanks to all of you have read, comment, or have ever read or commented. Your encouragement is a huge blessing to me.
As the journey continues, I’ll keep you posted on the twists and turns of the road.

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For My Friends

In John 15:13, Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Of course, we know that the context is Jesus telling his disciples that he is now calling them friends and that he is going to lay down his life. That has also been interpreted over the years to teach that we, as followers of Jesus, are to lay down our lives for others. I look at this verse and put it together with the command to love each other as Christ loves us and the declaration that that love will be the mark that shows who we belong to. It causes me to look at myself and ask if I’m really willing to lay down my life for my friends. I don’t mean just being willing to take a bullet or throw myself in front of a speeding bus. It is much deeper, and I believe, much more difficult than that. Am I willing to give up my time for my friends? Am I willing to make them a priority? Am I willing to rearrange my schedule, if possible, for them? Am I willing to be awakened in the middle of the night to lend a hand? Am I willing to let them have their way in certain matters? To go deeper, am I willing to pursue a brother or sister who is estranged? Am I willing to forgo worship to be reconciled, as Jesus taught? Am I willing to humble myself and ask forgiveness? Am I willing to forgive, whether the other has asked or not? Am I willing to acknowledge hurt, forgive, and then re-establish fellowship because the other is my sister or brother, because we are family? Now it’s starting to sound more like dying. Am I willing to do whatever it takes, at any cost to myself, to strive to keep the unity we have in Jesus Christ? Am I willing to be misunderstood, criticized, even slandered to show Abba’s love to a world that is desperately in need of it? Am I willing to die? Tough questions. Questions that I ask myself, questions that all who follow Jesus should ask. My answer echoes the prayer of the father with the sick son in Mark 9:24: Lord, I am willing, help my lack of willingness!

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A Peek Inside

While reading Wild at Heart this afternoon, I was struck by a particular passage where John Eldredge quoted Winston Churchill’s statement that all his past life had been a preparation for the trials Britain was going through in World War II. Eldredge then went on to state, “The same is true of you, your whole life has been preparation.”

This is what I wrote in response:

Father, is it true? Has all my life up to this point been preparation? For what? What is it that you want me to do that it has taken fifty five years of preparation? You have told me that I am a Gideon. I want so badly to be the kind of warrior who is willing to go up against insurmountable odds, armed only with your power. Let me be a clay jar, plain and unassuming, but a deadly weapon when filled with you. Gideon led others to freedom. That is what I want to do. I want to be an agent of your grace. I want to help others break away from the chains forged by the lies they believe. I want to be in the battle and watch what you will do.

I want to hear your voice in the midst of all the noise around me. I want to be dangerous, the kind of man who can’t be labeled, who can’t be controlled because he is doing what you tell him to do. I want to live abundantly, to love with abandon, to fight with every fiber of my being for the freedom for which you have set us free. I want to go when you say go, to fight when you say fight. I want to stop and watch you work and to rest when you tell me. I want people to take notice – of you, and the greatness of your grace.

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Free!

I read a couple of posts this morning that started the wheels turning in my head (that’s what the squeaking noise was). The first post was by Dan Edelen here, and the second was by Jeff Dunn and is found here.

As one who grew up and served in conservative Christian circles, I have constantly bumped against walls that were put up to keep us from engaging in certain behaviors, or to make us do other things. I’ve always been anti-legalism, and over the years cultivated an image as a bit of a rebel. Unfortunately, the image was many times driven by a desire to do what I wanted rather than what God wanted. I was more anti-legalism than pro grace.
I am learning that a reliance on God’s grace and love is what should define my life. The posts mentioned above are part of that learning. I am learning that Romans 7:5-6, Galatians 2:19-21, and Colossians 2:20-23 are good passages to live by. I am learning that my Father loves me no matter what I do or don’t do. I am learning that Jesus took away all my sins: past, present, and future. Not only that, but the power of sin has been broken by Christ.
Sin is no longer the defining force in my life. I still sin, but I also have a Savior that has freed me. When I do sin, it’s not because sin is controlling me. It’s life. It’s part of being a man who is still learning how to follow Jesus and live in God’s grace. Fortunately, my Father doesn’t condemn me, he is not disappointed with me. He sees me as his beloved son. He teaches me and leads me, and continues to fill me with his love.
I’m learning that I am not in control of my life, God is. No matter hard I try, I can’t please God more. I can’t do things that are going to influence God to bless me. It’s not up to me.
I’m learning that I am a dead man. I have died to sin and its power. I have died to this world. I am dying to the opinions of other people, because the only opinion that counts is that of the One who calls me child. That last one will take some time.
I want to be as Jesus, who only did what the Father told him to do. Jeff Dunn says that folks accuse him of being “all grace.” I’ll gladly accept that label. Dan Edelen writes, “Anymore, the only rules I impose on myself on this walk of faith are, am I loving the Lord, and am I loving other people.” That sounds good to me. Jesus himself said that the two greatest commandments are to love God and love others, and that everything else hangs on that.
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Reflections on the New Year

I haven’t blogged in almost two weeks. Due to traveling and other Christmas activities, my time on the computer was not as regular as it usually is. I just got caught up in my blog reading yesterday. I have had some time to reflect on the year that has past, and also to look ahead to the new one.


I’ve heard it said that the only constant in life is change. That has certainly been true in the past year. My job responsibilities changed, and I’m now working on a more individual basis with a few students. I enjoy it more than what I was doing, and I feel like I’m actually helping them. Jan left her job at the assisted living facility, and is teaching part time and cooking for a retreat center part time. Our church has not grown this year, in fact it has actually shrunk. That’s a good thing though. We made the decision to try and be open to each other and learn to live life with each other. It’s been an interesting experience, and I think we’ve grown closer as a community and have experienced a measure of healing and freedom. It will be interesting to see what the Father will do in us in 2011. God has been teaching me how to go through my day-to-day being aware of his presence, and focus on listening and doing what he tells me to do. I am learning, although there are times when what I think is the voice of God is just my addled brain talking.

I’m looking forward to this year. I’m sure it will bring changes, some positive, some not so much. I don’t make resolutions, mainly because I never keep them. 🙂 I do have certain things I want to see happen. You can call them goals if you want. I want to live in awareness of God’s presence more each day and hear his voice. I want the courage to take risks when the Spirit directs me. I want to love God and others with abandon, not worrying about what people may think. I want to be a blessing to my faith community, and to others that I come in contact with. I want to be a better husband, loving Jan more as Christ loved the Church. I want to be a better father to my adult children, letting them see Jesus.

I know the road ahead will take some turns. There will be some bumps, and there will be times when I will mess up. The one thing I know for certain is that my relationship with my Father doesn’t hinge on how many resolutions I make and keep, on how well I perform certain spiritual duties, or on anything that I do. Abba loves me, and there is nothing I can do that will change that in any way. I can be the prodigal, the elder brother, or something in between, and God still loves me with a reckless, graceful love. That is why I look forward to the year ahead.

You may make resolutions at the start of a new year, or you may not. You may set goals, and plan how to reach those goals. That’s fine. Just remember that some goals will be met, but others will not be realized. Some resolutions will be shelved until next year. Remember also, that your Father loves you and will continue to love you the same no matter whether you keep all your resolutions or not. You are free, free to make resolutions and then break them, free to set goals and then not meet them.
Jesus came to give us a full, abundant life. So, live. Be free. Abba loves you.