Category: my journey

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Thanksgiving

Thursday is Thanksgiving, the day set aside to stop and reflect on the things that we are thankful for. Then we fall asleep watching football. The good thing is that many people really do stop and think about their blessings.

There is much in my life for which I am thankful. First, and most importantly, I am thankful that the Creator of the universe is my Abba, and that he calls me son. I am thankful that I am a coheir with Christ of all things. I am grateful for God’s love and grace, and for his patience with me.

I am thankful for my family. I was blessed to grow up with a mom and dad who loved me unconditionally, and taught me a lot about following Jesus. I am thankful for my sister and her family, and for their love. I am thankful that they live relatively close. I am extremely thankful for the wonderful woman who shares my life. Jan is a blessing from the Father, and her love and support are essential to me. God has allowed us the privilege of bringing up two fantastic children. Josh and Jennie have given us countless wonderful memories, and we continue to be very, very proud of them. I am thankful for my in-laws. I have always felt loved and accepted, and Jan’s dad continues to be a strong support to us.

Like many folks in today’s economy, I am thankful I have a job. Beyond that, I am grateful to have a job where I can see a bit of difference made in what I do. I enjoy working with the middle school kids, and love the opportunity to coach the high school basketball team God has given me.
I am thankful for the things God has taught me over the last few years. My faith has been tested and stretched, and my dependence on the Father and my love for Jesus has deepened. Although their are still areas where the answers aren’t there, I am comfortable with the questions. I am grateful for the community God has led us to. We are a fellowship that is committed to loving God and loving each other. We are learning to open up to each other and accept each other, warts and all. We are seeking to live as free people in Christ and to help others find that freedom. The folks in our community have become a family, and they are all a real blessing to us.

I am thankful for the friends I have made along my journey so far, and for the ones who will come along later. I am grateful for those of you who read this blog, and for those who write the things that God uses to teach me. I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I am extremely blessed.

I will have limited computer access for the next few days, so the blog will be silent. I hope your Thanksgiving is blessed. Enjoy the day, and spend a bit of time thanking God.

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Being Real

A few years ago, there was a thread on theooze.com titled “Which story are you in?” As I thought about what story I was in at the time, I thought of one of my favorite all-time stories – “The Velveteen Rabbit”. The story is about a stuffed rabbit who becomes real because of the love of a little boy.

As I thought about all that has transpired in my journey the last few years, I thought how God’s love is making me “real.” The process has not been without pain. In the story the Skin Horse tells the Velveteen Rabbit that becoming real may hurt but that when you do become real you don’t mind the hurt. So it is with being formed into the image of Christ – the hurt pales in comparison to the final result, so in some sense you really don’t mind it.

The Skin Horse also said that while you might not seem real to others, the one that matters is the one that is causing you to become real through their love. Again that has its parallel in the process of becoming like Jesus. You come to the place where the only one whose opinion of you matters is God.

Obviously, I have a long way to go in the process of becoming real. But God is working.

What story are you in?

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Back Roads

This is something I wrote a little over four years ago. It still is true.

I love back roads. When I travel, I would rather take back roads than the interstate any day. I enjoy seeing what lies in those places that most people just zoom by in their hurry to get to their destination. I like exploring and am usually willing to go out of my way to see what I can see.

What is interesting (to me anyway) is that my journey following Jesus seems to be taking me on the back roads. I know people who knew right from a young age what God was going to have them do. I thought I knew, at least in my senior year of high school. One year of Bible college, then two years learning the printing trade. One year turned into five, a youth ministry emphasis turned into a teaching and coaching gig at a Christian school, where I met my wife. After leaving that school, the plans were to get a job in the federal government. Of course, that was the time when the government had a hiring freeze. One year, a son, and a low paying job later, God told us it was time to go someplace else.

A move to Cincinnati brought further adventures. The twelve years we spent there brought a daughter, success in coaching, another job loss, and more education (both formal and informal). After some difficult times the Lord moved us again. This time to Rock Hill, SC.

The place God put us in was in a Christian school where I had applied for a job seventeen years earlier. During my time there I learned how to coach some different sports and how to teach some different subjects. All along God was taking me down some spiritual paths that I had never explored before. I also had the privilege of coaching both son and daughter and watching them grow up. Then, God decided it was time to take another back road.

After leaving that school, I was sure that the road was going to lead to the fulfillment of a long-time dream. I found out that road was closed, and I had to take a detour. The road God put me on led out into the desert, to a dry and empty place where He could teach me more of the things he had already started. After wandering around for a while, I stopped and settled in for what looked like a long stay. The desert school turned out to be sometimes hard, sometimes boring, sometimes frustrating. It was a one-to-one teacher to student ratio, and I had the full attention of my Rabbi. I learned that many of the things I had been taught were not right, that many of my ideas and presuppositions needed to be scrapped. I learned what is really important, what is really essential to following Jesus. I became a disciple of my Rabbi, and finally understood what a disciple really is. Finally it was time to leave the desert.

My journey is still taking twists and turns. But I’m finding out that, even though it may be hard and frustrating at times, I am enjoying exploring some of the back roads and trails that Jesus leads me on. Sometimes I lag behind, sometimes I try to run ahead. But, I am learning that the best way is to follow the Rabbi so closely that I am covered with the dust from His feet. Life is an adventure.

May God bless you on your journey.

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Learning

This is something I wrote a few years ago.

I was there
I knew the truth

Then you decided I had more to learn

At first it was easy
The new things were “positive” and encouraging

Then you decided I had still more to learn

Then it was hard

The new things were “negative” and discouraging

Hours of solitude and inactivity
Silence from heaven

I was in the desert
Waiting and waiting. Waiting and wondering

When will it end?
How long will I be out here?

Faith had been mine
But faith was misplaced

My faith was in what you would do
And you didn’t do

What is going on here?
Why isn’t this working?

You finally spoke
You told me to be patient

You sent me teachers
Those who had traveled the same path

I finally learned
To trust in you

Not in what you might do
But in you as you are

I departed the desert
But I left some things there

Just in case

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Teflon Church

Here’s another blast from the past:

The other day, I passed a road named Mt. Elon Church Road. At first glance it looked like Teflon Church Road. Since my mind works in mysterious (some would say strange) ways, I got to thinking – What would a teflon church look like?

I imagine it would be a place where nothing “bad” sticks. Things of the outside world would have no effect. The church would be a “safe place” for Christians to gather and get away from “the world”. To those looking at it from the outside, it would seem like a place where everybody had it all together, a place where those within were just “holier” than the rest.

Of course, there would be other things that wouldn’t stick. Things like compassion for those outside, concern for those on the margins of society, a realization that none of us really has it all together, that it is only by the grace of God that we stand. Things like love for brothers and sisters in Christ as well as those who are neighbors.

Eventually, a teflon pan gets cracks and the teflon wears off. In a church, the cracks eventually happen and what is going on beneath the surface comes out. A pan that has lost teflon is useless and will be thrown out. Fortunately. a church that has lost its teflon can be redeemed and made useful again by our gracious Father.

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Has It Really Been That Long?

Yesterday, I wrote my 400th post on this blog. Wow. 400 seems like such a big number, and I guess it is if your talking about things like weight, or the price of a car repair. Now, if you’re talking government spending, 400 is minuscule. When I started this blog almost three years ago, I had no idea where it was going to go. I also had no idea where God was going to take me.

The title of this blog is “On the Journey”, because that’s how I see life. I am on a journey following Jesus. Occasionally my journey has been on the highways, but most of the time I travel on the back roads. Sometimes the path gets narrow and hard to see, and sometime it goes through dark or deserted places.

In the past three years, Jesus has taken me into places that made me wonder what in the world was going on. Sometimes, when I thought we were going to be out in the sunshine on a nice straight road, our path veered into the woods on a trail so winding that I couldn’t begin to see around the next bend. God has taken away dreams, and then given them back in a different form. My duties at my job have changed three or four times, and there have been times that I didn’t think I could continue. God has always given me strength.

I have gone from a position of leadership in a church where I tried to influence the congregation toward a “relevant,” attractional type of worship service, to a small fellowship that meets in a bagel shop on Sundays and homes, coffee shops, or pubs through the week. Like Anne Rice, I have left “Christianity,” or at least what it has become. That doesn’t mean I have left the Church, the Body of Christ. I’m not a big fan of amputation. I now believe that the church can gather in a pub and those gathered can grow spiritually more than many who gather in buildings called churches week after week.

I am being more and more, as Michael Spencer put it, reduced to Jesus. I see much of what has grown up around the Gospel, and have a hard time seeing the One we claim to follow. I believe that the church in the United States is coming to a fork in the road, where we must choose to follow King Jesus, or to continue in the civil religion that passes for Christianity.

A lot has changed since this blog began. I expect changes will continue to come, so I’ll keep on writing. I have no idea how many actually read this, but I’m thankful for those who have stopped by, even if only for an instant. You have encouraged me with your comments, and I have been introduced to some great bloggers.

Enough ramblings for now. Thanks for reading.

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And Now For Something Completely Different

I’m going to do something a bit different, and post some things I’ve written in the past. I’ll do this on Mondays for a while. Enjoy.

In The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning quotes M. Basil Pennington on prayer. I’m posting that quote here. There is no need for me to comment.

“A father is delighted when his little one, leaving off her toys and friends, runs to him and climbs into his arms. As he holds his little one close to him, he cares little whether the child is looking around, her attention flitting from one thing to another, or just settling down to sleep. Essentially the child is choosing to be with her father, confident of the love, the care, the security that is hers in those arms. Our prayer is much like that. We settle down in our Father’s arms, in his loving hands. Our mind, our thoughts, our imagination may flit about here and there; we might even fall asleep; but essentially we are choosing for this time to remain intimately with our Father, giving ourselves to him, receiving his love and care, letting him enjoy us as he will. It is very simple prayer. It is very childlike prayer. It is prayer that opens us out to all the delights of the kingdom.”

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Grasshoppers

Yesterday when I was picking up the campers to ride the shuttle bus, I noticed that a grasshopper had joined us. Since it didn’t seem to want to leave, I let it ride with us and it sat on the control box next to me.

As we traveled together down the road, God spoke to me. He told me that I sometimes see myself as a grasshopper, and that I should remember the Israelites in Numbers 13. In that chapter, the twelve spies have just come back from checking out the Promise Land. Joshua and Caleb tell the people that it’s a wonderful land, and that they should immediately go in and take it. The other ten say, “Whoa, wait just a minute! There’s giants there. Big ones! Compared to them, we’re like grasshoppers!” (FSRV) This description scared the people so much that they were ready to overthrow Moses and return to Egypt. The Israelites forgot that God was with them, that he had promise the land to them, and that he would enable them to defeat these giants.

When God spoke to me, I realized that I do sometimes see myself as a grasshopper. There are times when I look at my positions as an instructional assistant, and as an assistant basketball coach. When I compare them to my former positions as an athletic director and head coach of two or three sports, and a Bible teacher, it doesn’t seem like much. Grasshopper. When I look at what I see others doing, and the impact they are having on people’s lives, what I am doing doesn’t seem like much. Grasshopper. When I go through the disappointment of not getting a job with potential of using my gifts and having a greater impact, it seems like I’ve been passed over. Grasshopper. It’s very easy to think you’re not all that when you get caught up in the comparison game.

As I thought about this (in between telling kids to stay in their seats), God said, “The people of Israel forgot that I was with them, that my strength would give defeat their enemies and give them the land. Remember that I am with you. I have called you to do what you are doing now, and it is important. Anything you do in my name is big, because I am in it.” You know, God’s right. (Duh!) Whatever we do in his name is big, because he is in it.

The Church is described in Scripture as the Body of Christ. In a body, every part is important. The older I get, the more I know this to be true. As different parts of my body begin to work less efficiently than when I was younger, other parts have to adjust. In the Body, each member has a part to play, each member is important. Even if you’re (like me) a little toe, you are still a valued part of the Body and what you do is important. The last time I checked, there were no grasshoppers in my body, neither are there grasshoppers in the Body. (how’s that for mixing metaphors)

When we arrived at camp, I took the grasshopper and let him go out the window. I’ve let the other “grasshopper” go as well.

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30 Years

Thirty years ago, Jan and I set out on a journey together. Through those years the path has had many twists and turns. We have gone through jobs lost and found, leaving old friends and getting to know new ones, saying goodbye to parents, and seeing our children grow up and go out on their own. Of course, we have also gone through many of the adjustments that married couples make as they get to know each other.

We both had wonderful examples of marriage from our parents, so as we started out, we determined from the start that divorce was not going to be an option. That commitment, along with the grace of God, has helped make our marriage strong. Of course, it’s easy to want to stay with someone who you’ve never fallen out of love with.

God has truly blessed me with a woman like Jan. She has a wonderful sense of humor, which is a requirement for living with someone like me. Her love for Christ is evident in her demeanor and the way she approaches life. Through the years, as I have watched her teach Josh and Jennie and her school students, I have clearly seen her love for others. Her quiet and gentle spirit has been a calming influence for me many times, as well as her ability to cut through the fog and bring clarity to my sometimes muddled mind.

Proverbs 31:10 says that a noble wife is worth far more than rubies. I know that to be true. In Jan, I have found a noble wife whose worth exceeds not only rubies, but all other things as well. I know that I am truly blessed, and I am awed by the love that the Father shows me through her. I cannot imagine what life would be like without her.

Happy 30th anniversary, Jan. May God grant us many more. I love you more than yesterday, and less than tomorrow.

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Fathers’ Day

Today is a day when fathers are remembered. It is a day of feelings, some good, and some bad. There are many who have loving Fathers, and today is a day of celebration. Others have absent or abusive fathers, and today is a day of hurt feelings. Still others have fathers who have passed on, and today is a day of remembrance. For me, this fourth Father’s Day since Dad passed away has been such a day.

Along with remembering my own father, I have been thinking today of the great privilege it is to be a father. This is my twenty-eighth Fathers’ Day, and I can say that I have been blessed beyond measure with my son and daughter. Those years have had their ups and downs, but I wouldn’t give them up for anything.

They say that having a child come into your life changes things, and that is certainly true. Not only does it change your lifestyle, it also causes you to become a student again. The lessons are not presented in a classroom, but are taught right in the middle of life. Sometimes the lessons are simple, and only need to be learned once. Other times the lessons are hard, and need to be repeated. The classroom is also a place of danger, for unlike an algebra or science lesson, failure to learn can have negative life-changing results. On the flip side, successful learning can have results that can be amazing.

*WARNING!* BRAGGING ALERT!

My heavenly Father has been gracious to me. Through the years of teaching and learning, Josh and Jennie have grown into young adults who are a source of great pride to Jan and me. They successfully navigated the teenage years, and have done well in the world of higher education. Josh has earned an undergraduate degree in mass communications, and a Master’s in architecture (anyone know of any firms that are hiring? 🙂 ). Jennie earned a bachelor’s degree in graphic design and photography, and created the marketing department at a visual effects studio in Los Angeles (look up Stargate Studios on youtube). I am confident that both of them will be successful in what their careers.

The thing that brings me more joy than their academic and career success is the knowledge that both of them have grown into responsible, caring individuals who are not afraid to walk a different path. They both have a heart for helping those less fortunate, and seeing God’s justice carried out in this world. If you are fortunate to have one of them as your friend, you have a friend that is loyal.

They are not afraid to ask questions, and are not satisfied with stock answers. Their relationship with Jesus has not followed what some would say is standard path, but their love for him is evident. The Father has had his hand on each of them from birth, and he is forming them into the image of Jesus. The Kingdom will benefit from the grace and glory of God shining through them.

As you may have guessed by now, I am extremely proud of my children and grateful to God for allowing me the awesome privilege of being their father. Josh and Jennie, I love you beyond words, and I am thankful for you.