Category: My kids

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1000? Really?

I guess this is a milestone of sorts. This is my 1000th post on this blog. When I began this back in December of 2007, I had no idea I would still be writing a little over four years later. Some of you may be wondering why I’m still sharing the sometimes random stuff that rolls around in my brain. Probably because I can? Actually, I keep on because I hope that something I put on here will help, encourage, or challenge someone.

Since that winter day in 2007, the path of my life has taken a few twists and turns. Jan and I left one church, became involved in a couple of church plants (one fizzled and one blew up). I was done with the whole idea of church for a while. Then three years ago, God brought us to a church community that we have grown to love and see as family.

The journey has gone through wide open, sunny spaces and deep dark woods. I have been in a cave and come out again. I have learned over and over to trust the loving heart of my Father, and I have become more amazed at his unfathomable love for me. In the past couple of years, we have added two members to our family with the marriages of our two children.

In June, I lost a job and immediately gained a gig helping to take care of my father-in-law. That continues to this day, but I will have to be getting a regular job in the near future. I am trusting God to provide in his timing, as he always has.

Where this road takes me in the next four years is one of those unknowns. I am sure it will wind through forests, wide open spaces, and valleys. Maybe I’ll crank out another thousand posts. We’ll see. Thank you to all of you who have been with me on part of this trip. I hope that y’all (as we say here in the sunny South) will continue to travel along with me. It should be interesting.

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End of an Era

A couple of weeks ago, I coached for what possibly will be the last time. While I never say never, and there is always the possibility that may change, it looks like my thirty four year career as a coach has come to an end. There are a lot of memories, mostly good, that come to mind as I reflect on what has been a major part of my life.

It all began in college, where I worked with the goalkeepers on the soccer team. That was when I decided that I wanted to coach. The coaches I had during my playing days had a profound impact on my life, and I wanted to do the same thing for others.

After graduation, I took a position at a small Christian school as athletic director and teacher.During the next four years, I coached boys soccer, basketball, and track. I drove the bus, van, or whatever vehicle was available. We traveled all over the Washington/Baltimore area, and one year drove a group of students all the way to Idaho for competition. We played on city soccer fields, church gymns, and had some pretty successful teams, winning a number of tournaments. One of the soccer players led the entire county in scoring one year, and a couple of basketball players went on to play in college.

The next stop was Cincinnati, where I again served as athletic director and coached soccer, basketball, and track. During my nine years there, we made it to the soccer state finals once, and made it to the basketball final four four times in a row, winning back-to-back state championships. Those teams were among the best defensive teams in the Cincinnati area, and one player ranked among the top players in career points in the state of Ohio. A couple of the players went on to play at the next level, and one is a successful high school basketball coach. After leaving that school, I assisted in a NCAA Division 3 women’s basketball program, where I got a small taste of the life of a college coach for one year. On that team, we had the number one player in three point shooting in the nation.

Our next stop was Rock Hill, South Carolina. There I coached a wider variety of sports. During the ten years there I coached boys and girls soccer, volleyball, girls basketball, and golf (really all I did is drive the golfers to matches and play behind them). While my teams were not as successful in terms of wins as some of the earlier teams, the athletes worked just as hard and were as much of a joy to coach. I also drove the bus, which gave me the opportunity to travel to Florida and Tennessee for tournaments. The best part was being able to coach both my son in golf, and my daughter in basketball. I cannot begin to tell you what a blessing that was to me. I had given up the search for a college job to be able to see them grow up, and being able to work with them and see them come to love sports like I do made it more than worth it. It’s something I would never trade.

The past eight years I have assisted on middle school football and track teams, and been the head coach on softball and volleyball teams. My “claim to fame” is assisting on the 8th grade football team on which Jadeveon Clowney played. I have also had the privilege to coach high school girls basketball on a higher level. I have been the head junior varsity coach and assistant varsity coach, working with one of the best coaches in the area. Those programs are the closest thing I could get to a college level job, and I thoroughly enjoy working with this individual. We had some good teams, making it to the SC AAAA Upper State championship one year. It is that program that I have said goodbye to as a coach.

It’s a bittersweet thing. My evenings will be much more free, and the long hours won’t wear me out. But, I know I will miss it. I have been blessed to be able to travel, to do something I loved for a long time, and to work with some fantastic people. If you are one of those who have spent some time with me, as a player or a fellow coach, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are the ones that made it such a joy.

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Fathers’ Day

Today is a day when fathers are remembered. It is a day of feelings, some good, and some bad. There are many who have loving Fathers, and today is a day of celebration. Others have absent or abusive fathers, and today is a day of hurt feelings. Still others have fathers who have passed on, and today is a day of remembrance. For me, this fourth Father’s Day since Dad passed away has been such a day.

Along with remembering my own father, I have been thinking today of the great privilege it is to be a father. This is my twenty-eighth Fathers’ Day, and I can say that I have been blessed beyond measure with my son and daughter. Those years have had their ups and downs, but I wouldn’t give them up for anything.

They say that having a child come into your life changes things, and that is certainly true. Not only does it change your lifestyle, it also causes you to become a student again. The lessons are not presented in a classroom, but are taught right in the middle of life. Sometimes the lessons are simple, and only need to be learned once. Other times the lessons are hard, and need to be repeated. The classroom is also a place of danger, for unlike an algebra or science lesson, failure to learn can have negative life-changing results. On the flip side, successful learning can have results that can be amazing.

*WARNING!* BRAGGING ALERT!

My heavenly Father has been gracious to me. Through the years of teaching and learning, Josh and Jennie have grown into young adults who are a source of great pride to Jan and me. They successfully navigated the teenage years, and have done well in the world of higher education. Josh has earned an undergraduate degree in mass communications, and a Master’s in architecture (anyone know of any firms that are hiring? 🙂 ). Jennie earned a bachelor’s degree in graphic design and photography, and created the marketing department at a visual effects studio in Los Angeles (look up Stargate Studios on youtube). I am confident that both of them will be successful in what their careers.

The thing that brings me more joy than their academic and career success is the knowledge that both of them have grown into responsible, caring individuals who are not afraid to walk a different path. They both have a heart for helping those less fortunate, and seeing God’s justice carried out in this world. If you are fortunate to have one of them as your friend, you have a friend that is loyal.

They are not afraid to ask questions, and are not satisfied with stock answers. Their relationship with Jesus has not followed what some would say is standard path, but their love for him is evident. The Father has had his hand on each of them from birth, and he is forming them into the image of Jesus. The Kingdom will benefit from the grace and glory of God shining through them.

As you may have guessed by now, I am extremely proud of my children and grateful to God for allowing me the awesome privilege of being their father. Josh and Jennie, I love you beyond words, and I am thankful for you.

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A Little Girl

Twenty five years ago today, on a cold Saturday in Cincinnati, a little girl came into our lives. She had given us a bit of the warning that she was coming the night before, at a basketball game. That would prove to be foretaste of what was to come.

We learned quickly that this child would be different than her brother. She was always an active girl who would sing herself to sleep at night. Fiercely independent, this little girl and I locked horns a few times, although she was always “Daddy’s girl.” As she grew, I knew that this bent would serve her well through her years.

As she grew into her teenage years, I had the joy of coaching her on the basketball teams at school. That experience bonded us closer, as we spent a great deal of time together. I watched, and ached, as she went through the usual high school stuff of trying to figure out relationships and dealing with friends who weren’t always the best. (What is interesting is that those friendships have continued through the years) I watched this daughter figure out who she wanted to be and how she wanted to relate to others. I saw her develop into a beautiful young lady. When she went to college, I cringed sometimes at the decisions she made, but I always felt proud of her, and I knew that the questions were eventually going to lead her to a faith that was real and was her own.

Now this girl is on the other side of the country, and sometimes it’s hard to see what life throws at her and not be able to be there. I know that her heavenly Father loves her even more than I do, and that he is shaping her into the person he wants her to be. In all, I am confident that God is going to continue the work that he has begun in her.

Happy Birthday, Jennie. I love you, as I always have. You are a blessing from God and I am so thankful for the privilege of being your father. I pray God’s grace and blessings be yours in abundance.

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What’s Going On?

Barb wondered what is happening in the lives of her readers, so I finally got around to writing about what’s going on with me.

Things have changed quite a bit in the past few months. In July, Jan and I left the church we had been a part of for fourteen years. That same month, the school Jan taught at closed because of financial problems caused by dwindling enrollment. At the beginning of August we joined a small community of faith that was just starting up. We meet in a bagel shop on Sunday mornings, and we average between twenty and thirty people. We are hoping to form a body that will show the love of Christ to those outside the church, whether “unchurched” or “de–churched.” It’s going well, and we are looking for opportunities to reach out to our city.

Jan found part-time work at a retirement village here in town. She is a resident assistant in the assisted living facility. Working part time allowed her to spend more time with her mom and dad, which was a good thing because her mom slowly went downhill until she passed away in late September. We saw the grace of God during that month, as the three daughters and all nine grandchildren were able to visit and spend some good time with her. Each time a new set of visitors would come, Mom would rally. She recognized each one and was able to talk with them. It was a blessing.

Josh is in his last year of grad school. This year is proving to be a very busy one as he works on his thesis in addition to the regular classes. Hopefully the economy will have improved next spring to the point where architectural firms will be hiring. Jennie has been promoted and is a still photographer for a special effects studio in Los Angeles. She loves California, and is doing well. This school year, I am still a teacher’s assistant, but I am in a different class. I’m still coaching girls’ basketball, and in the spring I will coach softball. There is a different set of challenges this year as I learn to love a different set of “neighbors.” I’m still enjoying what I do, although it does get wearing at times.

My spiritual journey continues along the twists and turns on the back roads. I’m becoming more and more convinced that we Christians have failed at the main thing Jesus told us to do – love others. I’m learning to look at Scripture as God’s story. Not a set of rules. Not a storehouse of individual verses to be mined in order to put together a system of theology. Not a textbook to be mastered. Not a handbook for life. It has some of those aspects in it, but now I see it as the story of how God shows himself and relates to the world he created. Scripture is to be taken as a whole narrative, not chopped up into proof texts. I believe that we are called to proclaim the Good News that Jesus is Lord, not tie the Gospel to a particular political or economic system of thought. While we may participate in the process (or not), the important thing is the Gospel.

My beliefs on a number of other things have changed. I won’t go into a whole lot of detail here. Some of that will probably come out in future posts. Those of you who are regular readers, (and if you’re not, why not?) have read about some of those changes. If you haven’t, there’s an archive on the sidebar. 🙂

Anyway, that’s a bit of an update. I would be interested in reading what’s going on in your life. Drop me a note in the comments so I can check it out.

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I’m Baaaaack!

…and there was great rejoicing. 🙂 Saturday we returned from our trip to the Los Angeles area. We had a wonderful time with Jennie and Josh.

The Saturday before, we flew out of Charlotte at 11:20 AM. We landed in Dallas, where we had lunch and changed planes for the flight to LA. We arrived at LAX and were picked up by Jennnie and Josh. We went to Jennie’s place in Santa Monica where we freshened up from the trip. That evening we went to the area of Santa Monica that’s beachfront. We ate at a place called Barney’s Beanery. The menu looked like a newspaper and had just about every type of food you could imagine. After dinner we went to the famous Santa Monica Pier, where a one man band serenaded Jan and me. It was actually chilly that night, as it was every night the entire week. Sunday morning we went and fellowshipped with a community called Kairos in Santa Monica. Hopefully Jennie will get involved there. That afternoon we had a cook-out and met Jennie’s boyfriend, Chris. In the evening we went and watched Jennie direct a short film for a friend who had entered a contest connected to a local film festival.

Monday, Josh took us into downtown LA, where we saw the Disney Concert Hall, the Grand Central Market, Chinatown, and the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels. Tuesday, we went to the Skirball Cultural Center and the Getty Center. We had lunch at In and Out Burger. That night Jennie and Josh took us out to dinner for an early Fathers’ Day. We ate at a very nice Asian restaurant overlooking Hollywood. The food was delicious and the view was beautiful. After dinner we walked around Hollywood and saw the Walk of Stars, Grauman’s Chinese Theater, and the Kodak Theater. On Wednesday, Josh and I went to an English pub to have lunch and watch England play Andorra in a World Cup soccer qualifier, while Jan and Jennie went to lunch at a French restaurant in Pasadena. After lunch, Josh, Jan, and I walked around old-town Pasedana and then met Jennie at the visual effects studio where she works. Chris gave us a tour and then treated us to a very nice dinner at an Italian restaurant. Jennie’s friend Rachel flew in late Wednesday night.

Thursday, we went up the coast to Malibu, where we walked down a cliff to a fairly secluded beach. We spent a couple of hours there, and then had lunch at a fish place in Malibu. The restaurant was where some of the TV show “Privileged” was filmed when Jennie was an extra. That night, Jan and I moved to a hotel in Venice, where we had a nice room with a great view of the coast. Friday morning, Jan and I had breakfast next to the hotel, and then walked around for a bit and saw some of the interesting people of Venice Beach. The kids picked us up and we went to Rodeo Drive. We walked around for a while, looking at all the stores with stuff we could never afford. We did get delicious cupcakes from Sprinkles. They weren’t too expensive.

We drove around Beverly Hills, and then drove up Mulholland Drive. The views were spectacular and some of the houses were unbelievable. We went to a park with 360 views of the entire area. Then we drove to a park just down the hill from the famous Hollywood sign. After that we went to Griffith Park and drove around it a bit. We went to the Griffith Park Observatory, and spent some time there. We went to another In and Out for dinner, and then drove around Hollywood and some other areas.

We flew out of LA at 8:20 AM Saturday, had lunch in Dallas again, and arrived back in Charlotte Saturday evening, exhausted but very satisfied. The only regret is that LA is so far away.

I have put pictures here.

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Happy Birthday, Josh

On Saturday, January 22, 1983 the Washington Redskins won the NFC championship. The next day the joy in the Shope household was increased even more when a son was born. This boy was our firstborn and little did we know how he would change our lives. We discovered quickly that he did not like to sleep, at least at night when we thought he should.

We also discovered early on what a blessing this little boy was to us. As he grew, we marvelled at how he quickly he learned things. We were also concerned, because we wanted him to be able to be educated properly and knew it would be a challenge keeping him interested. Fortunately he loved to read, so we knew that he would learn.

As he grew and became interested in sports, I had the opportunity to coach him during baseball season, and help him with his basketball skills. He even helped me out during basketball, keeping me calm on the bench. It was exciting to watch him develop his skills and his love for sports. As he grew into a teenager, he began to grow and develop those skills even more. During high school he was a multi-sport athlete.

The academic side of life was not ignored either, as this young man continued to be an excellent student, winning numerous awards and academic scholarship money. Not only did he earn good grades but learned to think and to form his own opinions. As we dropped him off at college, we knew he would do well. He did, and began to develop into even more of a unique individual.

After a couple of rough years of learning to trust God, he came back home to pursue what he feels the Father has gifted him to do. Our relationship has deepened and changed into more of a friend to friend rather than parent to child.

Josh, it has been an absolute joy watching you grow and mature. We’ve enjoyed seeing God work in you and grow your faith in him. We are treasuring the time we have with you now as we have treasured the time we’ve had since you were born. We are extremely proud of you and we love you. Happy Birthday.

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Happy Birthday, Jennie

This is a couple of days late due to too many things to do in too little time.

Twenty-four years ago, on a cold December morning – the only kind of December morning in Cincinnati – a baby girl joined our family. We named her Jennifer. Little did we know what we were in for.

We welcomed an individual who was happy most of the time, who sang herself to sleep at night, who awoke with a smile. We also learned what it was like to deal with a very strong will. We prayed that that strong will would be used for good and not evil. 🙂

As the years passed and we learned more about this girl, and she learned more about us, we grew to love her more and more each day. Although there were moments of conflict, we were thankful for the joy that she brought to us. I think we learned to squeeze a little more fun out of life ourselves.

This little girl grew into a teenager, and the relationship deepened and matured. We knew that the time was coming quickly when she would make her mark on the world. Through high school and college, she matured and began to seek out her path.

Now this little girl is a lovely young woman. She is full of questions, as all young adults are. Some of them I can answer. Some, only God can answer. I firmly believe that her Father will draw her close and let her know how much he loves her.

Jennie, I can’t begin to tell you how much Mom and I love you. You are a true blessing from the Father. We are proud of you.

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Check This Out

My daughter Jennie is going to be on TV! She has been working as an extra on the show, “Privileged”. This Tuesday night at 9:00 PM will be the first of many episodes in which she appears. She’s mostly in the background in this one, wearing a blue green/turquoise/purple dress.

The show is on the CW Network. I have no idea if it’s any good, but hey. Jennie’s on TV.