Category: New year

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Hurry Up and Wait

I am beginning to suspect that the word for 2022 may be “patience.” As the year began, I was awaiting an appointment with a radiation specialist to talk about and schedule the radiation therapy for my prostate cancer. The appointment was scheduled for the Monday after we were to return from a trip out West to celebrate our youngest grandson’s first birthday.

Our flight was scheduled to leave on a Friday morning. Early that day, I received a notification that the first leg of the trip was cancelled. The airline had no flights for us to take Saturday, but they graciously scheduled us to go out Saturday on another airline. So, we’ll be able to get home just one day later. No problem. Right? Wrong! The second airline cancelled the second leg of the trip with them due to the winter storm that was to hit the east coast that weekend. They rescheduled us on yet another flight that left Sunday morning, had four legs, and put us back to our home airport Monday morning. Needless to say, that wasn’t going to work.

Saturday morning I went to the airport to see if the second airline would transfer me back to the original airline for a flight that went Sunday and put us back home Sunday night. After being informed that they could not do that, I cancelled the flight with them, walked down to the original airline’s counter and purchased a one way flight for Sunday. Even though I spent more money, ate least we were going to be home, and I was still going to be able to get to my appointment, which had been changed to virtual, due to the expected weather issues.

After a bit of a delay, we left Fresno Sunday morning and flew into Phoenix for a short layover, before landing in Charlotte Sunday night. Oh, did I mention that we planned to take an Uber home? That becomes important. When we left the plane and walked into the airport, we were greeted with an eerie silence. The airport was almost completely empty. Every flight out had been cancelled because of the storm. After we picked up our luggage, we went outside to procure our Uber ride.

Well, that didn’t go as expected. In fact, it didn’t go at all. Evidently no drivers wanted to drive the thirty or so miles on icy, hazardous roads. Who knew? No taxi drivers were willing either. I can’t really say that I blame them. After a while I got us a room at a hotel near the airport. We took a taxi there and had a night’s rest. In the morning, we dressed, packed, checked out, and walked into the hotel’s business center, where I had my virtual appointment with the doctor. We caught an Uber and finally arrived home a little after noon.

That’s not the end of the story concerning learning patience, but I’ll give you a rest and continue later.

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New Year: New Twists and Turns in the Road

2020 was a year that many would like to forget, and 2021 didn’t’ seem to be much better. As the Covid pandemic hit in March 2020, I was in the hospital with a minor heart attack. I recovered completely and made it through the rest of that year and most of 2021. Most, but not all.

First, a bit of background. My father had prostate cancer. Because of that, my family doctor has been keeping an eye on my PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen). In many areas of my life I am just like my father. Well, it turns out that this is one of them. My PSA levels went up to the point that my urologist wanted to have things checked out further. The first step was an MRI, which showed some small spots in one area.

Next came a biopsy, after a couple months wait, which seemed to me to indicate that the doctor was not overly concerned. The biopsy was performed in early December, and the day before my sixty sixth birthday, I was informed that I had joined the club. I was following my father’s footsteps and had prostate cancer. Happy birthday to me. The good news is that it is stage 2; which means it is confined to one certain area.

At the end of 2021, I underwent a bone scan and today I had a CT scan, along with a chest X-ray to check out a spot found on a rib. The spot may be from an old injury. I remember getting kicked in the ribs a few times playing soccer goalkeeper in high school and college. Hopefully that is the case. The CT scan looked good. The next step is to schedule radiation treatment beginning the third week of this month. This should last about two months or so.

I am learning a few things from this. First, I am learning to not take anything for granted, because you never know when things are going to change. I am also learning that good treatment in American healthcare is extremely expensive. Even with excellent insurance, the costs are still very high. I am learning how to empathize with those who have cancer. Hopefully I am learning to trust my heavenly Father and rest in his love for me.

The five year survival rate for this prostate cancer is pretty much 100%. After that, it’s a matter of keeping an eye on things, much like before. The outlook is good and my urologist is pretty positive, so I think I’m going to be okay. So we shall see how the road ahead goes and where this journey is going to take me this year.

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Goodbye and Hello

Tonight we say goodbye, or rather, good riddance to the year 2020, and say hello to 2021.

Sometimes, there is a sense of loss in looking back on the year. I don’t believe this year is any different. Many, if not most of us can look back on things lost this year. Lost opportunities abound. Many didn’t get the chance to have their graduation, final season, vacation, family reunion, etc. The list goes on. Businesses closed, and millions of people lost their jobs. Even worse, many lost health and loved ones.

Our institutions took a hit as well. Many churches lost people as attending a virtual worship service morphed into not bothering at all for many. Our political process turned into a sideshow that may have long lasting repercussions. Our society seems as divided as ever, and many wonder if it will ever come back together.

Even the weather seemed to have it out for us. The hurricane season began before the official date and ended after it was supposed to be over. There was a record number of storms, adding to the loss and devastation in some parts of the country.

While there are many reasons to simply write this year off, there have been positive things happen. American politics haven’t yet fallen apart completely, even though some may have been trying to make that happen. Even with all the machinations, the system is still working. In the midst of the division, there has been more of a desire to ensure the rights of those whose rights have been under appreciated. We still have a long way to go, but it’s a start. Even with the horrendous loss of lives from this pandemic, it could have been worse. We have seen people join together on an unprecedented scale to try and alleviate the suffering of others. Many heroes have emerged from this tragedy. There has been much good come out of adversity.

We can look to the year ahead with trepidation or with hope. There will be dark days ahead, as the pandemic continues. Politicians will still look out for their own interests, and forget about the rest of us. There will still be selfish people, and the economy will still struggle. I choose to believe that better days are ahead, regardless of what shape those days might take. To do otherwise would be to give in to despair. As a follower of King Jesus, I believe that nothing that happened this past year suprised him, and that nothing in the future is going to shock him.

I have seen God work in some amazing ways in this past year, and I believe he will contine to work in the year to come. You might call me a starry-eyed optimist who isn’t grounded in reality, but my optimism isn’t an everything will be peachy keen, rose colored glasses optimism. My outlook is shaped by the firm belief that the King has come, has brought his Kingdom and the new creation into being, and will return again to finally set all things right. That is the reality in which I live. I hope you too can come to see that truth as well.

May God bless you in this year ahead.

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A New Year

Today we enter into a new year. Not only a new year, but also a new decade. Yes, I know that technically the new decade begins next January. But it is the 20s now, so I’m going with calling this a new decade.

I’ve seen a lot of talk about reviewing the past decade, ten year plans, etc. I think it’s a good idea to look back over the last few years and see the changes that have occurred in our individual lives, in our families, and in our world. As I look back over the time since 2010, I can think of a number of things that are different as I enter 2020.

Ten years ago, Jan and I were parents of two unmarried young adults. Now we have added a daughter-in-law, a son-in-law, and three grandchildren. In 2010 I was working as a teacher’s assistant and Jan was working at an assistant living facility. As this decade begins, I am a driver at a retirement community and Jan is semi-retired and tutoring. During this time we have lost Jan’s father and oldest sister.

Ten years ago, we were helping plant a church that met in a bagel shop. In the past ten years the church plant ceased to be and we are now part of a small Presbyterian church that seeks to serve our city. Since 2010, I have lost about 25 pounds and been able to keep it off. My hair has become grayer, and my joints creakier. When the last decade began, we had never heard of Huntington’s Disease. As the new decade begins, we are dealing with the reality of Jan having HD, and all of what that means.

As I look back on the last ten years, I see some happy times and some sad times. I see times of accomplishment and times where I wonder what in the world I was thinking. Sometimes life seemed relatively normal and sometimes it seemed like a long, strange trip. There were times when my faith was strong and there were times when my usual prayer was, “Lord I believe, help my unbelief.”

As I look ahead to the 20s, I don’t know if they will be roaring or calm. I am not even going to attempt a ten year plan and my crystal ball shattered long, long ago. The only thing I do know (and have to constantly remind myself of) is that my Father in heaven loves me and my family with a furious, inexhaustible love and will bring everything about for my good and his glory.

Check back in another ten years. Maybe.

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Goodbye and Hello

2017 has passed into history. There have been a few years in recent memory to which I bid “Good riddance.” This past year is not one of those. 2017 was a good year for me and my family. Jan and I became grandparents. Twice. I started a new job, which I love. There were some hiccups. It was not a perfect year, but overall it was peaceful, without the drama of some recent years.

As I look back on the past year, I am thankful for the good things that God has blessed us with. Grandchildren and the new job are right up there at the top of the list, along with a deepening of our relationship as husband and wife. Our relationships with our friends has also grown stronger, and we are grateful for them. This year has been more active than most, but we have been blessed with the energy we needed. I have no idea what 2018 holds. I hope that it is as good as 2017, but I realize that it may not be.

I don’t know if your past year was good or bad. I don’t know if you are looking forward to this new year or not. I do know how it feels to be glad one year is gone and also dread the coming year. While I can’t totally understand what everyone goes through, I can empathize. I can also hope and pray with you that 2018 is a good year for you.

Let me encourage you to trust God this coming year. There may be times when you can’t even begin to figure out what he is doing, or if he is even working at all. Those times when you can’t see his hand at work, trust his heart. Trust that the Father’s love for you is so strong that he will never let anything come into your life that he does not use for your good. The last part of Romans 8 is true. There is absolutely nothing on earth or in heaven that can separate you from Abba’s love.

Don’t live this year worrying about the state of your finances, your health, your relationships. Don’t be worried about the future of the country’s politics, or world affairs. The Creator of all things, who is your Father, is in complete control. Since even the fall of a tiny bird doesn’t escape God’s attention, trust that he has your situation firmly in hand. As Julian of Norwich said, “…all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”

May your 2018 be full of the love of Abba! 

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Another Year? Already?

Every year about this time, we do the same thing. We say goodbye to one year and hello to another. It seems like 2015 just zipped right on by. As I get older, the days seem to pass much more quickly. I have read that it has something to do with the fact that a particular period of time is a smaller percentage of the whole life span of an older person. Makes sense to me.

I’ve never been one to make a resolutions at the beginning of a year. I don’t seem to be able to keep them, so I just don’t make them. That way, I’m not disappointed. I’m beginning to realize that there are fewer years left in my life than there used to be. Unless medical science comes up with some miracles, I’m more than halfway through. So, at the beginning of a new year I look back at the past year and look ahead to the one ahead.

My focus has changed from career and financial goals. There is only so much you can do when you’re semi-retired and not earning a boatload of money. Those things are not all that important in the long run anyway. The things that are becoming more and more important are my walk with Jesus, my wife and family, and my friends.

Have I become a little more like Jesus in the past year? Have I loved Jan as Christ loved his church? Have I made her feel treasured? Have I been a good father and friend to my adult children and their spouses? Have I loved my friends and been willing to lay down my life for them? Have they been helped in their spiritual journey by what they have seen in me?

These are the things I think about. This is how I want to be in the year ahead. I know that, as with resolutions, there will be successes and miserable failures. I hope the important people in my life will be patient and forgiving.

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Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

If there is one word that best sums up the past year here in the sunny South, it would be the word interesting. There have been a lot of changes and adjustments through the year, especially in the second half. I started 2014 by choosing grace as my word for the year, and there have been multiple moments when I have had to lean on God’s grace.

The first five months of the year were relatively normal. Then, things got weird. June 5 was my last day at the middle school where I have been working the past eight and a half years. I didn’t actually go in to work that day though, because my father-in-law fell and broke his hip that morning. That was the beginning of the adjustments. I was without work and my father-in-law was taking a different road in his journey. As it has turned out, being out of work has allowed me the time to help him out and to take care of his financial affairs as well as helping him with doctor visits and life in an assisted living facility.

We made it through the summer, and in the middle of September we flew out to California for our daughter, Jennie’s, wedding. We had a wonderful time with her and with our new in-laws. I also had the honor of being the officiant at the wedding! That was an amazing thing, and I only choked up three times! We came back home, and within a few weeks our son told us that he and his wife were moving from Charlotte to Seattle so he could work with his cousin who has his own architectural design business. The idea of both of our children being on the opposite side of the country has taken some getting used to, but we know that it’s a great opportunity and we are happy for them.

We were able to get together with both of our children at the beginning of December, when we celebrated Christmas and a couple of birthdays. On the 19th, Josh and Alicia set out with all their worldly possessions in a Honda Fit. They drove across the country and arrived in Seattle two days before Christmas. Jan and I celebrated Christmas with her father, and then with some close friends. So Christmas was a bit different, but it was good.

Last night we said goodbye to one year and hello to another. While there are things I could wish had happened differently, I am grateful for God’s hand in everything. As we enter into this new year, I still don’t have a job, and I’m not totally sure how to proceed. The path is shrouded in fog, and we really don’t have a clue what will happen in the future. What we do know is that our Father loves us, and that his heart is good toward us. He knows what is to come, and how we are going to best represent his kingdom.

My word for this year is trust. My prayer is, “Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!”

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And Another Year Passes

Another year is upon us. It seems to happen on a regular basis, no matter what we try to do. Along with a new year, there comes something called New Year’s Resolutions. This is when people determine that they are going to do certain things and accomplish certain goals in the next 365 days. That is why you see special deals on weight loss programs, fitness center memberships, and home fitness equipment. Other resolutions include career, financial, relational, or spiritual goals.

I have nothing against resolutions as such. It is good to have goals for the coming year. My problem is I tend to make resolutions and then not keep them. It seems that is a problem common to the human condition. It is very easy for us to see resolutions as devices to make us better people, much like the 5 steps to ________________ that you can hear in many churches on Sunday mornings. If we fail to keep these resolutions, we can become filled with guilt and frustration. If we are able to keep them, we can become self-righteous.

Pam Hogeweide has written a good article on what she wants for the coming year. It is titled, “Soaring into Everday Loveliness With One Word.” Pam writes that, rather than making resolutions, she has chosen the word “soar” as what she wants to do in 2014. She also asks her readers to comment with what their one word would be. I chose “grace.”

In the last couple of years, I have been learning what grace is. The idea that Abba loves me no matter what and sees me as his beloved son is liberating. As I learn, it is becoming more and more clear that absolutely nothing I can do will ever change the Father’s love for me or my standing as his child. I’m not saying that nothing I do matters, because it does. I’m saying that my actions can not make me a better person inside, that they can not make me righteous. I am righteous because of God’s grace through what Christ has done. It is finished, and there is nothing more for me to do.

I want to live every day in and from my Father’s grace to me. I want to do everything out of love and gratitude, not out of a desire to earn God’s favor or stay right with him. I want to walk looking at Jesus and his finished work, and not fearfully looking over my shoulder or around me, worried that I might screw up. Because I will screw up, sometimes royally. But, it’s okay because it doesn’t change who I am in Christ. It also doesn’t change the settled fact that God is redeeming everything in my life for his kingdom and his glory. I want to live out of that reality.

I also want to live a life that extends that same grace to others, to those whom I love and to those who are difficult to love. I want to love my neighbor (who just happens to be everyone) as Jesus loves me. I want to love others without putting conditions on them. No reciprocity, no demanding, and certainly no “exacting a pound of flesh.” I know I can only do that as I am able to rest in the grace of Abba. Otherwise it becomes just another one of those resolutions that I can’t keep.

My word for 2014 is grace. I’d love to hear what word you would choose.

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Reflections on a Year

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. This quote from A Tale of Two Cities doesn’t exactly describe this past year, but the highs were high and the lows were low. There have been things that I hope I never have to go through again and things that I hope continue on and on.

The first three months of 2012 brought us the end of a small fellowship of believers we had been leading and the end of what we thought was a close friendship. Those months were especially hard on me. If you want to  get an idea of where I was during that time you can go back and read some of the posts from January to April. It was a dark time that I hope to never experience again.

In April, we began meeting with a group of believers on Sunday nights as part of a church plant. God showed his sense of humor by leading a guy who had no desire to go back to the institutional church to a church that is part of a denomination. As we quickly found out, this group is different. They met on Sunday nights for a meal, and then had a worship service, ending with communion. There were also groups that met during the week for a meal, a Bible study, or just hanging out together. We were welcomed and accepted from the beginning. The biggest draw for me was the mission of the church to benefit our city and to help each other learn to follow Jesus.

The defining moment came pretty quickly. You can read about it here. We had been looking for community, and had tried to create it. Those attempts had been a miserable failure. Now the Father had led us into a community of faith that already existed, and that was truly centered in Jesus Christ and the truth of the Gospel. As the months have gone by, we have grown to love these brothers and sisters and God has given us opportunities to minister to them, and be ministered to.

In May, our son Josh got married. His wife is a beautiful young woman, and is a blessing to us. We have grown to love her as one of the family. Josh was able to land a job at a local architecture firm, and we are rejoicing at God’s blessing. As the year continued, there were a couple of dips in the road, but for the most part the journey has been pretty good. God has continued to teach us and bless us, and draw us closer to himself.

When this year began, I had an inkling that God was about to do something in my life. Little did I know what that would mean. I definitely would have done things differently had I been in charge, but then we wouldn’t be where we are now. I have been learning that though the Father’s mercy may look like something far different, I can trust his goodness and love. I am learning to trust my Abba’s love, leaving things in his hands.

It’s been an interesting year. There have been some tough times and there have been some good times. The good has definitely outweighed the bad. We are in a good place, and I’m looking forward to how the Father is going to work in me in 2013. To quote another piece of literature:

“The road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
and I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And wither then? I cannot say.”
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Out With the Old…

In two more days we will say goodbye to 2011. As this year winds down, many will be making resolutions to break old habits and patterns. Others will be cleaning out closets and getting rid of old clothes. The end of one year and the beginning of the next seems to be a good time to rid ourselves of some things that are old and adopt new habits, clothes, etc.

As I look at Scripture and ponder the state of the church today, I think it is time for those of us who call ourselves Christians, followers of Christ, whatever, to jettison the old and embrace the new. When I look at the organized church, I see an institution that is still bound in an Old Covenant way of thinking and doing things. Walk into almost any church building on a Sunday morning and you will see one person standing in front of the congregation and lecturing the people. That person is part of a particular class of trained professionals who are entrusted with the task of representing God to the people and teaching them. Think Old Testament priests. Those people have traveled to a particular building (temple) on a particular day (Sabbath) to hear from God through the preacher’s words. Many believe that the only way to gather in a way that glorifies God is on Sunday in a building that is set aside for that purpose. In many of those buildings the people can come to an altar in the front to sacrifice. Part of the gathering is the when the congregation gives their tithes to pay for the “work of God.” Most of the rationale behind the current system of tithing is based on Old Covenant passages that deal with the upkeep of the Temple and the priestly class.

The church has been trapped in Old Covenant ways for so long that what is done goes unquestioned by many. I believe the folks in congregations are good people who love Jesus and are sincere in their faith. I also believe the abundant life that Jesus said he has for us is far greater than what can be found in Old Covenant living. Jesus abolished the Old Covenant system. He established a New Covenant based on grace, a way of life where God is present within each of his children, and where those children can gather anywhere, anytime. In the New Covenant, all are given the responsibility and privilege of ministering to each other, of discipling each other, and teaching each other. In the New Covenant, Jesus’ followers live in a spirit of generosity, giving to the needs of others without being badgered or guilted into giving to support programs, buildings, or salaries. In the New Covenant, Jesus is the priority and learning him is the focus. In the New Covenant, forms and structures don’t really matter as long as the King is lifted up and we learn to follow him.

Personally, I plan on living my life as an individual under the New Covenant. I will search through the closets of my thinking and acting and bring out those Old Covenant things that need to go. I wonder if Goodwill will take them.