Category: openness

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Blast From the Past: The Story Continues

This was originally published in January, 2008. In the fall of 2006, my mom and dad had both passed away within a month.

I had lost my hero, my adviser, my example. That next Christmas was hard. The biggest thing about the celebration of Christmas for me had always been family, and now I was an orphan.

At the same time a group of us in our church had decided that things needed to change or we could no longer continue there. A few months before this, we had gone to two Sunday morning worship services. One was a traditional service and the other was a more contemporary service. The church was losing people and it was thought that if we provided opportunity for people to worship as they preferred, it would strengthen and grow the church. The contemporary service quickly became just like the traditional service, only with cooler music.

Our group of “revolutionaries” believed that we needed to approach “church” from a fresh angle. We agreed that the church needed to reach into the community around us. We began to meet weekly to set out a course of action and to plan the weekly gatherings. At first, things were moving in a direction that really encouraged me. I was an elder, and had agreed to become an elder in order to try and influence the church in a direction that was more “emerging”. Someone accused us trying to break away and start a new church. I said that I had no interest in planting a new church. (Famous last words)

As time went on I realized that the only way we were going to do what we believed God wanted us to do was to actually begin a new church under the auspices of the original church, with our own leadership. Unfortunately, there were a number of people in leadership, as well as other influential members, who wanted to have a say in what we were doing. We were accused of dividing the church and conditions were put on what we were doing. The conditions were probably good but they essentially put brakes on our efforts. As time went on, the enthusiasm for “doing church” differently waned and the worship service reverted to same old same old with cooler music. At the same time, there were positive signs, so I still planned to stay around and minister where I could.

Toward the end of the summer, I heard about a possible church plant here in Rock Hill. I was immediately intrigued. Some of you know Frank Hamrick. I contacted him and as we talked and got to know each other a little bit, God began to nudge me in the direction of helping in the plant. As time went on and I began to read and study, I became increasingly convinced of the need for a new church in Rock Hill. God continued to work on me, and by the end of December I decided to leave the current church and help Frank.

So now, I’m about to set off on another leg of my journey. Where this one will lead only God knows. If there’s on thing I’ve learned through the years it’s that no matter how much the road twists and turns, and no matter how dark things get, my Father is with me and is leading me exactly where he wants me to go. That makes the trip an adventure rather than a chore.

Should be fun.

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Blast From the Past: More

It’s another day, so I’ll continue my story.

About three years ago (now about fifteen years), God started doing some things in me that would change the way I saw life and ministry. Through a “chance” look at a magazine, I discovered TheOoze.com and immediately began to read the articles and enter into the discussions. I became aware that there were a lot of others out there that just didn’t quite fit in the cubbyholes that “church” tried to put us in. I began to read authors outside of what I knew as mainstream Christianity, people like Brian McLaren, Leonard Sweet, Phillip Yancey, Mike Yaconelli, John Fischer, Rob Bell, N.T. Wright, and others.

God began to show me that at least part of what I had been taught and believed was not Biblical, but was simply a part of the culture of mid to late twentieth century America. So, now my rebellious spirit had a legitimate focus. Now, I saw myself as sort of a “missionary to the fundamentalists”. I began to teach some of these things to my middle school Bible classes. I tried to convey to them that Christianity is more than just mentally assenting to certain propositions and following certain rules. Hopefully some of them got it and will spread the subversiveness.

Unfortunately, this chapter in my life was to come to a rather abrupt end. The school decided to basically eliminate all the middle school teaching positions and give those classes to the high school teachers. They also decided to eliminate the athletic director position, and since I was both a middle school teacher and the athletic director, my contract was not removed.

More to come…

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Blast From the Past

I thought I’d go back in the archives and give those of you who don’t know a whole lot about me a glimpse of where I am coming from and what has led me to where I am now. This is the first of some posts I wrote a while ago that will give you a bit of a glimpse inside. Enjoy.

I started my journey as a follower of Jesus when I was four years old. I know that may seem young, but I distinctly remember asking God to forgive my sins and save me, and I believe that’s when I became his child. Obviously, at that age, I didn’t have a clue about how this was going to work out in my life. I grew up as a pretty good kid, started a period of rebellion as a teenager, went to a conservative Bible college where the rebellion continued, actually graduated and began a few years of ministry in Christian schools.

My rebellion continued, but changed from a general fighting against “authority” to a realization that a lot of the things I was taught in fundamentalism were not only not sensible, but were not even Biblical. For awhile I tried to still minister in fundamental schools, while growing increasingly frustrated with the legalism and lack of grace and love that I saw around me and sometimes experienced. I know that I was seen as a “black sheep” by many.

About three years ago, God began to take me on a part of the journey that would change my life.

But, that’s a story for another day.

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Hurry Up and Wait

“Hurry up and wait” is a phrase that some who have served in the military my be familiar with. It is also a phrase that describes something that those who have Huntington’s Disease or care for someone who has it have to keep in mind in their day-to-day.

When Jan and I went to the Huntington’s symposium last year, one of the speakers told a story of speaking with a man with HD. He would ask a question and the man wouldn’t answer right away, so the speaker would ask him a further question to clarify. The man again wouldn’t answer right away. After a few minutes of this, the speaker asked the man if he was getting frustrated and the man told him that he indeed was getting very frustrated. The man said that the speaker kept setting his clock back. When asked what he meant the man described his thinking process as a hand on the clock. As he tried to process each question, the hand was moving from twelve o’clock toward six o’clock. Each time the speaker asked him another question, the hand was interrupted in its movement and had to reset back to twelve o’clock.

Hurry up and wait is one of those aspects of the new normal for those affected by HD. The processing of questions, ideas, etc. is slowed down. As the disease progresses, the person may lose a great deal of the ability to carry on conversations because of the length of time needed to process. This can lead to frustration for the one who has HD, the ones who are caretakers, and friends and other family members. Hence the reminder to hurry up and wait. Patience is needed by all involved. Those with HD can be just as frustrated, if not more so, than others around them.

As we journey together through this new normal, we are having to learn to be patient. I am learning that the answers will come if I am patient enough to wait. Jan is learning to be patient with me when I just think about the “hurry up” part of the phrase. Even though it is not easy, I think it has given me a greater appreciation of Jan as my wife and as a human being with worth, regardless of whether or not she comes up with a quick response.

I would appreciate your prayers as we journey down this back road together.

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Lessons From Meatloaf

The singer, not the food. I know what you all are thinking. “Fred’s really lost his mind!” Now that may be true, but bear with me.

In the song, “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad,” there is a line that says, “I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you.” I wonder if this might be descriptive of many in the church in the 21st century.

One thing I do believe is true is that many in the American evangelical church have a hard time being in community with other believers. I’m not talking about gathering in a worship setting once a week, although that is a vital part of community. I’m talking about spending time with other believers, gathering in homes and other places and digging beneath the surface to build up and challenge each other in following Jesus. That is community, and it can be messy at times.

I think many are saying, “I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you.” In other words, they crave community, being known and loved for who they are. They want to be loved and accepted. They recognize their need for community. But.

But, when it comes down to the hard stuff, the hard work of loving as Jesus loves us, the messiness of sacrificially loving others with all their warts and blemishes, that’s a different story. Then it becomes, “ain’t no way!” Some hang out on the periphery, never quite throwing their lot in fully. Others find a church that only asks that they show up once a week and put their money in the offering plate.

Although we do want and need to be part of a fellowship that accepts and loves us, and that challenges us, it is not really about our wants and needs. It is about obeying what our King told us to do, to love one another and to lay down our lives for each other. That is how the world will know we belong to Jesus, not by how we vote or what position we take on social issues. The first Christians, with all their flaws, learned to live with and love folks from all kinds of backgrounds and with all sorts of issues. Even though they were far from perfect, they were known throughout the world for their love for each other and for those outside. And, they turned the world upside down.

May God help us to say, “I want you, I need you, and I will love you no matter what it takes.”

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Church Signs: Don’t Look Back…

A church near us has a sign up that reads, “Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.”

In one sense, I agree with the message. We shouldn’t live in the past and should focus on what is ahead of us each day. The Apostle Paul said that he was forgetting what was in his past and looking forward to what God had ahead of him. It is true that many times we long for the “good old days,” tending to romanticize the past. We also tend to use our past as an excuse for our actions in the present. Looking back can be detrimental to living in the present.

On the other hand, I believe there are times when looking back can be beneficial, even necessary. It’s been said that those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it. We can learn much from the experience of others. We can also learn much from our own experiences. Much of what we call wisdom is simply learning from what has happened in our past.

Sometimes our problems in the present are caused by our refusal to look at our past. Rather than confronting things which we have done or which others have done to us, we bury them and move on. Except we never really move on. Like a bad horror movie, those things which we think we have buried come back to haunt us. Not forgiving someone who has sinned against us can cause problems with present day relationships. Not dealing with past abuse and putting it behind a wall can cause any number of problems. Sometimes our own past actions can affect our lives if they are not dealt with.

Like Paul, we do need to look ahead to what God has for us. Sometimes we need that to make it through our day-to-day. But there are times when we need to look back. When driving a vehicle, it is necessary to occasionally check the rear view mirror to see if we can safely change lanes or to see if any danger is coming up behind us. Sometimes we need to check the rear view mirror of our life.

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Happy All the Time?

I remember different times in my life when I heard people say that Christians are always supposed to be happy all the time, or at least give the appearance of being happy. The rational behind this was the desire to “keep a good testimony.” In other words, it was to make those outside of the faith think that, because we had Jesus, we never got down or discouraged. This was an attempt to show that Christianity “worked” and was worth trying. There are still those who preach that today, as well as those who preach that if anything negative happens to you, it is nothing but an attack from satan and can be thwarted by positive thinking and speaking. Neither of these ways of thinking match up with what Scripture tells us.

All through the Bible, there are instances where God’s people mourned and lamented. There was mourning for their sins, and there were lamentations when bad things happened. The Psalms are full of prayers that are cries to God for help in trouble and tragedy. I can’t recall any passages in Scripture that command us to be happy all the time. What you do see are warnings that we will suffer, that life is not going to be a walk down a tree lined lane into heaven. Look at the people Jesus hung out with. They were folks who had a hard life, who were the downtrodden and oppressed. Jesus never told them to put on a happy face because following him made your life problem free. He never told them to make positive pronouncements that would make them better. In fact, Jesus told those who wanted to follow him that they had to give up everything and die in order to follow him. Honestly, giving up my desires, my wishes, my life, is hard. It doesn’t always make me a smiling, happy person. Sometimes I do it with a frown and a grumble.

The idea that we need to put on a happy face as a good testimony is also wrong. We do a disservice to the cause of Christ when we give the impression that Jesus makes everything peachy. We are afraid to show grief because we are supposed to believe. We are afraid to get angry because our life is supposed to be wonderful. We ask each other how we are doing, and then don’t give an honest answer because we don’t want folks to think that we’re not trusting God. So, we tell everyone that our lives are wonderful, while families fall apart, faith is shattered, and lives go down the tubes. And then we say, “I never knew. They seemed so happy.” It is not the presence of a smiling face and assertions that everything is great that testifies to the grace and glory of God. It is when we are able to say through the pain and the tears, “I believe God is good. I don’t know why this has happened, and I hurt, but I know my Father cares for me.” A smiling face can hide deep despair, while asserting trust in God through tears shows a depth that can only come from the Spirit.

When we are open about our pain and heartache, we open the door to comfort from those who have been through similar things. We come to see that we are not alone. This helps us to see that our Father really is in control and really does love us. This can bring deep, abiding joy. It is this joy that shows that following Jesus is worth it.

Maybe you are going through some tough things right now, and your pain is more than you can bear. God knows. He experienced imaginable grief at the cross. Don’t be afraid to let your hurt show. Be honest to the Father about how you are feeling. Find some brothers or sisters that you can be open and vulnerable with. Let God use them to bring you comfort and grace. We are children of a good, loving, perfect Father and we are on this journey together. Take the masks off. Don’t be afraid.

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Lessons From The Man Who Ate New Orleans Part 3

This is the third post in the series. In the first two posts, I wrote about the cardinal virtues of community, generosity, and resiliency. Today, I want to consider the virtues of diversity and openness to outsiders. New Orleans is a very diverse city. You will find folks from all different walks of life and from all corners of the globe. You can find any kind of food you can imagine, listen to whatever music strikes your fancy, and hear any of a multitude of languages, dialects, and accents. There are many styles of worship, from high church liturgical to storefront.

The body of Christ is similar. People from all over the world follow Jesus. In Revelation we read of people from every tribe and nation gathered around the throne. Christianity is not the possession of any single nation, ethnic group, or language. There are a multitude of ways in which people worship God. A local gathering of the church may be very diverse as well. There may be rich and poor, professional and blue collar.There may be folks who are quiet and reflective alongside those who are more boisterous and outgoing. Young singles may be next to married couples with children, who are next to older empty nesters. Ideally, the church is a body where different sorts of people are accepted and loved. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

One of the reasons for the diversity of New Orleans is the openness of the people to outsiders. New Orleans is a welcoming city to tourists, and to those who choose to stay. Diversity is encouraged and celebrated. No one is told they must be a certain way to visit or live there. This openness brings a unity within the diversity. When Katrina devastated the city, the people there banded together to rebuild it. They see themselves as one and have a mutual love for their city. While there is still much to be done in the rebuilding effort, the unity of the people has brought New Orleans back to vibrancy.

Those of us who follow Jesus should be the most welcoming and open of all people. We are commanded to love others, to do good to others, to show hospitality, to accept others because we have been been accepted. Too many times, that acceptance is not there. Local gatherings of the church tend to be fairly uniform. The natural tendency is to gather with folks who look like us, think like us, worship like us, and are in the same social class as we are. While that may be the natural tendency, the church is a supernatural body. We are the children of a God who has called folks from all walks of life and every nation. Along with the differences, we have some major thing in common. Each of us has been redeemed by the work of Christ, adopted by God, and indwelt by the Holy Spirit. We are not only fellow believers, we are family!

The early church turned the world upside down because they loved each other and those around them. They were one in their diversity. They were open to their neighbors. They lived the Gospel out in their day-to-day and showed the world the truth of the Kingdom of God. The church in America has largely become impotent because we have become more concerned with proving we are more correct than our brothers and sisters, and by waging “war” on those outside who don’t come up to our standards. While there is diversity, there is very little unity and very little openness to outsiders.

May we accept and love our fellow Christians, and be open and hospitable to those in our communities in order to show them the grace of the One who accepts us and who gave his very life for us.  

Part 1
Part 2