Category: pastoring

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Blast From the Past: The Story Continues

This was originally published in January, 2008. In the fall of 2006, my mom and dad had both passed away within a month.

I had lost my hero, my adviser, my example. That next Christmas was hard. The biggest thing about the celebration of Christmas for me had always been family, and now I was an orphan.

At the same time a group of us in our church had decided that things needed to change or we could no longer continue there. A few months before this, we had gone to two Sunday morning worship services. One was a traditional service and the other was a more contemporary service. The church was losing people and it was thought that if we provided opportunity for people to worship as they preferred, it would strengthen and grow the church. The contemporary service quickly became just like the traditional service, only with cooler music.

Our group of “revolutionaries” believed that we needed to approach “church” from a fresh angle. We agreed that the church needed to reach into the community around us. We began to meet weekly to set out a course of action and to plan the weekly gatherings. At first, things were moving in a direction that really encouraged me. I was an elder, and had agreed to become an elder in order to try and influence the church in a direction that was more “emerging”. Someone accused us trying to break away and start a new church. I said that I had no interest in planting a new church. (Famous last words)

As time went on I realized that the only way we were going to do what we believed God wanted us to do was to actually begin a new church under the auspices of the original church, with our own leadership. Unfortunately, there were a number of people in leadership, as well as other influential members, who wanted to have a say in what we were doing. We were accused of dividing the church and conditions were put on what we were doing. The conditions were probably good but they essentially put brakes on our efforts. As time went on, the enthusiasm for “doing church” differently waned and the worship service reverted to same old same old with cooler music. At the same time, there were positive signs, so I still planned to stay around and minister where I could.

Toward the end of the summer, I heard about a possible church plant here in Rock Hill. I was immediately intrigued. Some of you know Frank Hamrick. I contacted him and as we talked and got to know each other a little bit, God began to nudge me in the direction of helping in the plant. As time went on and I began to read and study, I became increasingly convinced of the need for a new church in Rock Hill. God continued to work on me, and by the end of December I decided to leave the current church and help Frank.

So now, I’m about to set off on another leg of my journey. Where this one will lead only God knows. If there’s on thing I’ve learned through the years it’s that no matter how much the road twists and turns, and no matter how dark things get, my Father is with me and is leading me exactly where he wants me to go. That makes the trip an adventure rather than a chore.

Should be fun.

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How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

So sang the nuns in The Sound of Music. There was a certain young woman at the convent who posed a problem. The nuns there hadn’t seen anyone like Maria, and they just didn’t know what to do with her. I believe that many churches have a similar problem.

Years ago, most women in churches were married, planning to be married, or living at home in an intact family with a father present. The landscape looks a lot different now than it did back in the “good old days.” There are liable to be a number of young single women on their own, single mothers, and divorced or widowed women.

In what are termed egalitarian churches, this may not be as big a problem. In patriarchal or complementarian churches and denominations however, there is the potential for major problems. My purpose is not to enter into the debate on the role of women in the church. I am simply proposing something that may help alleviate some problems in those churches that have male leadership.

Complementarian churches believe that men are to be in leadership roles, both in the family and in the church. Husbands are the head of their wives and fathers are the head of their families, and those roles are necessary in the church’s ministry. The husbands and fathers represent and speak for their wives and children.

What happens with a divorced woman or a young woman whose father is not in the picture? I believe this is when churches don’t know what to do. If an issue comes up, who speaks on behalf of these women who don’t have a “head?” Unfortunately, there may be no one, therefore leaving a void which helps no one. I fear that in many churches these folks are left out and have no one to look out for their best interest.

There is a possible solution. This is probably not new to some of you, and there are churches who are taking steps to solve this problem. While a church that has official male leadership does not want to ordain females, mature, godly women can minister in de facto leadership roles. There are many woman in churches who have shepherding (pastoring) gifts that can be exercised for the good of the body. These gifts can be used to be a guide and voice for those who don’t have someone in a traditional role to look out for them.

I am convinced that the gifts God gives to his daughters can be used in churches who do not ordain women. The gifts are not offices. They are given to help the body grow. I believe that there is no good reason why these gifts shouldn’t be utilized. Now I know that there are some who believe that women should only work in the nursery or teach little children. If that is the case, there’s not a whole lot I can say to convince you.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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Identity

I spoke to our school’s chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes yesterday morning. The seats were filled. Well, one seat was filled. Anyway, as I was preparing what I wanted to say, I was reminded of some of what God has been teaching me over the past few years.

Like most folks, I have always gained my identity and my sense of worth from the things I did, or didn’t do in some cases. I was involved in sports at an early age, and by the time I entered high school I had turned into a pretty decent athlete. I had also been taught that, as a Christian, I was defined by what I did or didn’t do and where I went or didn’t go. As I entered my high school years, I more defined myself by the standards of my friends more than the standards of my church. Through college I was defined as a bit of a rebel, and also one who was training for “full time Christian work” (whatever that is). I began a career as a teacher and coach, and my identity became that. I was called “Coach,” and I loved it. I was also teacher, athletic director, bus driver, Sunday School teacher, worship leader, deacon, and elder through the years. Add to that son, husband and father, and you can see that my identity was tied up in  a lot of things.

A few years ago, God decided it was time to change my identity. My job went away, so I was no longer a lot of the things I had been previously. I spent a few months driving a shuttle bus at an army base. This job gave me a lot of time to read, think, and pray. I did get a job in another school as an instructional assistant. Both parents passed away. After a time we left the church we had been in for fourteen years to help start a new church. So now I was a “church planter,” so to speak. That lasted a couple of years and we formed a small fellowship with some folks out of that first group. In some ways, I was sort of a pastor, without the title. I was also a member of a community of faith. Those things became what I based my identity on. Within just a few months, that “church” crashed and burned, and with it went the idols I had set up. It was not a fun time.

Fast foward just over a year. We are now part of a community of faith where there is love and service that comes from hearts that have been changed by the Gospel. I am doing some teaching, and am coaching. I am still a husband and a father. But now, I realize that my identity, my self worth is not grounded in those things. The Father has taught me that my identity, the very core of who I am, is grounded in his love for me, and in what Christ has done for me. There are things I do. I teach a couple of Bible studies. I disciple others. I coach sports. I serve my wife as a husband, and I do what a father of grown up adults needs to do. However, that is not who I am.

I am a beloved child of the Ruler of all things. He is pleased with me. I am a co-heir with Christ of all the riches of eternity. As Paul wrote in his letter to the Galatians, I have died with Christ, but I live. It’s not me that lives though. It is Jesus Christ living in me. I don’t totally understand all the particulars of what that means theologically, but I do know that it means that my identity is in the King of Kings. No matter what happens, no matter what I do, that does not change. I can do all sorts of good things, or not. The fact remains that I am a child of God. Period. End of discussion.  

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Who is Your Pastor?

Alan Knox points to a post over at More Than Cake, titled, Paparazzi Pastors Leading a Celebrity Church. There is an increasing trend among Christians today to follow what can best be described as “celebrity pastors,” whether those people be in a local church, another city in the same state, on the other side of the country, or halfway around the world. In the post there are listed a number of ways how these folks gain such a following.

It is dangerous when we try to “follow” someone who we don’t know, someone who is not a part of our daily lives. We know nothing about how they are living out what they are preaching, or if they even are living it out at all. The only thing we see is a carefully choreographed performance designed to make the speaker look good. Such performances can be inspiring, but there is very little instruction as to how it shakes out in the day-to-day. There are certainly no examples of how to follow Christ. Those must come from seeing each other in action.

As Alan states, “If you do not know someone – or are not growing to know someone – and if you never see them in a context other than speaking in front of a group of people, then that person is not shepherding (pastoring) you, regardless of what title the person may take for himself or be given by others.”