Category: patience

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Some Encouragement

It’s May. It may be hard for some of us to tell. Jan and I were talking the other day about the markers not being present this year. April Fool’s Day went by without all the usual antics. We celebrated Easter, but the usual feasting and fellowship was missing. Spring break was non-existent for many students because they were already at home. End of the year testing, spring sports, and graduation are other things that will not happen this year.

For many, the days fade into each other without the markers of commuting to work, going out on a weekend, or traveling to gather for worship. It’s hard. While it looks like there is light at the end of this tunnel, we really don’t know what will happen as businesses slowly reopen and folks start to go about their day-to-day outside of their homes. We are facing an uncertainty that most of us have never had to deal with. Listening to those who seem to have some expertise doesn’t always bring confidence and hope.

We are told in Matthew 6, to pray for God’s Kingdom to be known and his will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. We who follow the King know that he has already defeated death. We know that our King does reign. He has promised us that everything that happens is worked for our good and his glory, and that our present sufferings will pale in comparison to the glory that will be revealed in us. Because we are in Christ, there is absolutely nothing that can separate us from our Father’s love.

Be encouraged. It is hard. The future is cloudy. But our Abba has got this.

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Thoughts on Easter 2020

The Easter season was a bit different this year. Instead of gathering in person with our brothers and sisters to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, we gathered around our computer for a livestream service via Zoom. In stead of greeting dear friends with a hug, we waved to the images on the screen. Instead of getting together with friends or family for a feast, we had an Easter dinner for two in our dining room. It was a very good day, and I am grateful for what we were able to do, but it was different, in a strange way.

The coronavirus pandemic, which has devastated much of the world, has changed the way we do just about everything. Many people have been at home for a number of weeks, as “shelter in place” becomes the norm. The great majority of churches have closed their doors, either meeting on line, watching services on television, or not meeting at all. Businesses have been forced to close, and social distancing has forced upon us a new way of relating with each other.

Jan and I found some positive things coming out of an Easter weekend during time of quarantine. We gathered on line with friends Thursday for an altered Seder, followed by an online Maundy Thursday service. Friday evening we watched a Tenebrae service online, and Saturday found us experiencing an Anglican Easter vigil on line. Even though we didn’t do the things we normally do this time of year, we were able to experience a little of the breadth of the the Christian tradition’s celebration of the resurrection.

As the pandemic continues, many of the things we have taken for granted will have to be abandoned or revamped. The ways we work, shop, relate to others, and do church may look totally different in the days ahead. I think that will turn out to be a good thing. There are things that we need to change as individuals, families, churches, nations. As we come to grips with what is really important in our lives, we can become more understanding people, who treat each other as persons made in the image of God. As we learn to work together, we can become more unified. Maybe we can conduct our public lives with an eye toward what is best for all, rather than for our side of the aisle. As churches are forced out of the routine, maybe we can rediscover that the church is not the four walls, but is the family of God who are called to love and serve our neighbors.

Easter is all about hope. The hope that all will be made right, and we will be resurrected. In the midst of tragedy and hopelessness, we can know that Jesus defeated death. Because he walked out of that tomb, nothing will stand in the way of our Father’s plans to restore his creation. Nothing can change that. As the apostle Paul wrote, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

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February

This is the month we hear a lot about love. Most of what we hear is not an accurate picture of what love really is. Especially for those who follow Jesus, love has more to do with action than with feeling, although feeling can sometimes be involved. Jesus tells us that the greatest commandment is to love God with every fiber of our being, and that along with that we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Those two commandments cover it all. Jesus then says that we are to love our brothers and sisters in Christ as Jesus loved us. So, how do we love others, particularly fellow believers? The Apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 13 tells us what that kind of self sacrificing love looks like.

Love is patient. It doesn’t give up. It keeps on seeking the flourishing of the other. Love is kind. It is compassionate and gentle. Love is not envious, does not boast, and is not proud. Love doesn’t try to build itself up at the expense of others, but puts them first. It rejoices with those who rejoice and weeps with those who weep. Love does not dishonor others, but instead, builds them up.  Love isn’t self-seeking, but rather has the mind of Christ in Philippians 2.

Love is not easily angered and doesn’t keep a record of wrongs. It doesn’t blow up at the slightest provocation. It doesn’t keep track of how many times it has been hurt or how many times it has done good to the other. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It doesn’t rejoice when bad things happen to others, but it takes pleasure in the flowering of truth in others. 

Love always protects, hopes, trusts, and perseveres. Love is strong. It surrounds the other and shields them. It never loses hope in the other, because it trusts in the grace of the Father. Love doesn’t look for hidden agendas or motives, but trusts the other. It also trusts the Father to do his work in them. Love always stays strong. No matter how tough it gets, or how long it takes, love sticks around.

Love never fails. When prophecies cease, tongues are stilled. and knowledge passes away, there will still be love. Love is the greatest thing, ahead of even faith and hope. When it all boils down to the basics of living as a follower of Jesus, what is left is love.

Sounds impossible doesn’t it? It is impossible, if we try to do it in our own power. I mean, how do we love our enemies when we have a hard enough time loving those who are our friends? We do it because the Father has first loved us and put his Spirit in us to empower us to love as we are loved. Will we love perfectly? You know as well as I that the answer is no. That is one reason why love has to be patient, kind, trusting, and so on. It has to be that way to be able to continue to love those who imperfectly try to love us, even as they try to love us who imperfectly try to love them.

Let us seek to love others as Jesus has loved us, and trust the Father to shine his love through us onto others.

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Advent

We are currently in the middle of the time in the church calendar known as Advent. It is a four week period in which we remember the expectant longing of the people of Israel for their Messiah, the promised king who would deliver them from bondage.

At the same time we remember their longing and hope, we look at our own hope and our own longing for our King to return and set all things right. As we look around us, we can see that today’s world is not all that different from that of the first century.

It was a dark time then. The people of Israel had returned to their land, but they were still in bondage to an oppressive empire in addition to their bondage to their own sin. We too, live in dark days. As we look at the world around us it seems as if wickedness and oppression is increasing, and even creation seems to be groaning more and more.

As the first century Jews were divided spiritually and politically, so the twenty first century church seems to have forgotten who its allegiance belongs to. I know that is a broad over-generalization, but that is what gets all the press. We long for the day when the true Kingdom will be consummated.

Like the Jews, we hope and long with expectation because we believe that our King Jesus will return and fully make all things new, that there will be no more pain, sickness or death, and that, to paraphrase Sam Gamgee, everything sad will become untrue.

Even so come, King Jesus.

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Blast From the Past: Still More

When we last left our hero, he was wondering what was going to happen next.

I was without work. I thought I was going to realize the fulfillment of a long held dream of coaching college basketball. So, I sent out resumes and waited. I talked to every coach I knew. And I waited. The summer came and went and still no coaching job. In fact, there were no jobs at all on the horizon. We didn’t feel free to move to another area because my parents and my wife’s parents had moved here to be near us and they were in declining health and needed our help. The search continued. As all this was going on, we had to give our Cocker Spaniel to the pound because he was old and had too much wrong with him for us to afford to have him treated. It was not a fun summer. About a week after we gave our dog away, I was out on yet another job search. As I drove past the animal shelter, I lost it. I began to pray, cry, and yell at God. I even cussed (I know that shocks some of you, but that’s the way it is). I told God that if I had anywhere else to go, I’d chuck this whole Christian thing. I realized that, like the disciples, I had nowhere else to go, that Jesus was the only one worth following.

In September of 2005, I was hired by a tour bus company to drive. I was glad because it would give me a chance to travel. As it turned out, the majority of the job consisted of leaving the house at 4:00 AM, driving to a National Guard camp eighty miles away, and shuttling troops back and forth from the camp to a nearby army base so they could be processed for active duty in Iraq. Most of the day was spent sitting on the bus and waiting for the soldiers to get their paperwork in order. I would usually arrive back home sometime after 10:00 PM. Because of this schedule, I usually only worked three days a week, so the income wasn’t real good. The company also had no health insurance for their employees.

At first, I wondered what I had done wrong, wondered why God had “put me on the sidelines”. I felt like I was in a desert. Sitting on the bus gave me plenty of opportunity to read, think, and pray. God began to teach me about trust and patience. He reminded me that he was the most important one in my life, and that my identity was in Jesus, not in being a teacher or coach. I began to rethink even more of my assumptions about God, church, and life. At the same time, God was teaching me increasingly to trust him. Jan and I saw God provide for us again and again.

In January 2006, I walked out of the desert. I was hired as a teacher’s assistant in a self-contained special education class at a public middle school. The kids I work with all have learning disabilities, some more severe than others. Many of them are from low income families. Quite a change from the Christian schools previously worked in, although not as much as I would have thought. Kids are kids wherever you go.

Also in January, both my mom and my mother-in-law went into a nursing home. Jan’s mom suffered a stroke, and my mom was suffering from advanced Alzheimer’s. Our ministry to our parents changed somewhat, as we were visiting our moms and essentially being there for our dads. It was hard to go into a place full of people who were essentially waiting to die and visit Mom, knowing that she would never leave in this life.

I’ll give your eyes a rest and write more later.

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Lonely or Broken?

Back in the 80s, the group Yes put out a single titled “Owner of a Lonely Heart.” One line in the song reads, “Owner of a lonely heart, much better than the owner of a broken heart.” There are a lot of people who would agree with that sentiment, along with that expressed in Simon and Garfunkel’s song, “I Am a Rock.” I can understand the feeling. Many have had their hearts broken by friends, family, lovers. Abuse, violence, and death is a common part of the human experience.

While I can understand wanting to withdraw from intimate contact with other people, thinking that hiding the heart will make life better, I would disagree with the sentiment that being lonely is better than being broken hearted. I agree with C.S. Lewis, who wrote: There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one , not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies, and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of perturbations of love is hell.

I believe a large part of the problem is our culture’s definition of love as something that will make the one loved happy and make the lover happy. It is a very self-centered thing. Because we can never make another person completely happy, and no one can ever make us completely happy, going into any kind of relationship with another person will be no safe investment. If you try to love others, whether as a spouse or friend, they may hurt you and you may hurt them.

As a follower of Jesus, I am commanded to love others. Not necessarily to seek to make them happy, and certainly not to make myself happy, although both of those things can and will happen at times. I am called to love others in a sacrificial way that seeks their good, even if that good may make them unhappy for a time. I am also called to love everyone, those who are like me and those who are different. This is where the rubber meets the road. Can I love my brothers and sisters in my local fellowship when we don’t see eye to eye? Can I love those who follow Jesus differently? If those whom I fellowship with aren’t “as far along in their walk with God as I am” can I love them?

In A Fellowship of Differents, Scot McKnight writes that to love others we must be committed. We must commit to be with those we seek to love. We must spend time with them, being a faithful presence. We must commit to be for them, to be on their side and let them know that we are for them. We must also commit to love them unto the person God has created them to be. As God’s faithful presence in us and his commitment for us transforms us unto the likeness of Jesus, so our loving relationships can transform those we love. It is in that loving unto that we run into difficulties. We don’t always take well to correction or teaching. We must be careful that we don’t hurry the unto before we have loved with and for. By our presence and support, our unconditional love, the Spirit can work in the hearts of those we love.

As someone who likes to be the one who fixes things, often with not so good results, I can tell you that what we need to do in our relationships is be faithful in our presence and support, and then trust the Spirit to do the work of changing hearts the way God wants, not the way we want. This is not easy because our love for others leads us to want them to be Christlike, and it can be heart breaking when it doesn’t happen. But, the results are not up to us. We are simply called to love as Jesus loves us. Period.

Let us show the world around us that we belong to Jesus by our love for others, especially our brothers and sisters.

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Hurry Up and Wait

“Hurry up and wait” is a phrase that some who have served in the military my be familiar with. It is also a phrase that describes something that those who have Huntington’s Disease or care for someone who has it have to keep in mind in their day-to-day.

When Jan and I went to the Huntington’s symposium last year, one of the speakers told a story of speaking with a man with HD. He would ask a question and the man wouldn’t answer right away, so the speaker would ask him a further question to clarify. The man again wouldn’t answer right away. After a few minutes of this, the speaker asked the man if he was getting frustrated and the man told him that he indeed was getting very frustrated. The man said that the speaker kept setting his clock back. When asked what he meant the man described his thinking process as a hand on the clock. As he tried to process each question, the hand was moving from twelve o’clock toward six o’clock. Each time the speaker asked him another question, the hand was interrupted in its movement and had to reset back to twelve o’clock.

Hurry up and wait is one of those aspects of the new normal for those affected by HD. The processing of questions, ideas, etc. is slowed down. As the disease progresses, the person may lose a great deal of the ability to carry on conversations because of the length of time needed to process. This can lead to frustration for the one who has HD, the ones who are caretakers, and friends and other family members. Hence the reminder to hurry up and wait. Patience is needed by all involved. Those with HD can be just as frustrated, if not more so, than others around them.

As we journey together through this new normal, we are having to learn to be patient. I am learning that the answers will come if I am patient enough to wait. Jan is learning to be patient with me when I just think about the “hurry up” part of the phrase. Even though it is not easy, I think it has given me a greater appreciation of Jan as my wife and as a human being with worth, regardless of whether or not she comes up with a quick response.

I would appreciate your prayers as we journey down this back road together.

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Just Jesus and Me?

 When I was growing up, we used to sing a song about how it was “Jesus and me” traveling the road of life together. This went right along with the idea that salvation was an individual thing and that Jesus was “my personal Savior.” While there is a sense in which God redeems us as individuals, I believe that there is much more to the work of Christ than just Jesus and me.

I no longer believe that following Jesus is just about making him your personal Savior or that the Christian life is lived individually. As I have studied Scripture I have come to believe that when God calls us and makes us his children, he is making us members of a family, a body. The word for church means a called out assembly, not a collection of separate individuals.

The idea that salvation and the Christian life is an individual thing has done damage to the body of Christ. If you look around at the Church in the United States you see the results of an individualistic faith. In many places there is a lack of commitment to the larger body. People move from church to church for various reasons. Many times folks leave because of problems in relationships. Someone has done something against them and it’s easier to simply find another church than do the hard work of repenting, forgiving, and reconciling. It seems as if many look for a place where they can be served and “fed” (whatever that means) by a weekly concert and inspirational talk. They aren’t looking for community, or they don’t understand what community entails.

We are redeemed to be part of one another. We are a body and each part of the body needs each other part. I believe the day may come when those who claim Christ will have to come together and live as one body. We will no longer have the luxury of dividing over things that are not worth dividing over. We will be forced to live in harmony, forgiving each other no matter how many times they sin against us and loving each other with a selfless love, just as Jesus loved us. Maybe we ought to start doing that now so it won’t be such a shock.

May God help us to live together as fellow children of the Father who are members of one body.