Almighty Father, as the people of Israel longed for their redemption, so we long for the final redemption and restoration of all things. As they longed for your kingdom, so do we. Help us to not miss you, as many of them did. This season, remind us that our deepest longings find their fulfillment only in Jesus. Amen
A Prayer to Christ
This prayer was written by Henri Nouwen in A Cry for Mercy. Further comment from me is unnecessary.
Dear Lord, help me keep my eyes on you. You are the incarnation of Divine Love, you are the expression of God’s infinite compassion, you are the visible manifestation of the Father’s holiness. You are beauty, goodness, gentleness, forgiveness, and mercy. In you all can be found. Outside of you nothing can be found. Why should I look elsewhere or go elsewhere? You have the words of eternal life. you are food and drink, you are the Way, the Truth, and the Life. You are the light that shines in the darkness, the lamp on the lampstand, the house on the hilltop. You are the perfect Icon of God. In and through you I can see and find my way to the Heavenly Father. O Holy One, Beautiful One, Glorious One, be my Lord, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Guide, my Consoler, my Comforter, my Hope, my Joy, and my Peace. To you I want to give all that I am. Let me be generous, not stingy or hesitant. Let me give you all-all I have, think, do, and feel. It is yours, O Lord. Please accept it and make it fully your own.
Amen.
Hearing From God
When I was growing up, we were taught that the only way God spoke to us today was through the Bible. Most of the time that meant the Bible as interpreted and explained by the man preaching from the pulpit up front. There were numerous Bible study aids and approved teachers that could further explain anything anything we needed to know. God may have spoken to the saints in the Bible, but that ended when the canon of Scripture was complete. Folks who claimed that God spoke to them were out there on the fringe.
Over the past few years, my views on the subject have changed. As I have been exposed to the wider variety of people and ideas in the Body of Christ, I come to accept that God does speak to his people today. I realize that the One who created the universe can speak to anybody he pleases, in any way he chooses. Up until the last couple of months however, I wondered if, and how, God would ever speak to me.
While reading Walking With God by John Eldridge, it was suggested to me that I try an exercise that is in the book. The exercise was to ask God how I felt I was doing, and then to ask him how he saw me. So, I decided to give it a try. I asked what I thought about myself, what I really felt deep down. I was thinking something along the lines of “okay,” “could be better,” or something along those lines. While I was asking, the word, “failure” came to me. I immediately recognized it because I knew that was exactly how I saw myself. Not that I was a total, abject failure, but that I just never quite measured up, that whatever I did just wasn’t quite good enough. Needless to say, that threw me for quite a loop.
The next part of the exercise was to ask God what he thought. So, I asked, and waited for the answer. And waited. And waited. All night I asked God what he thought. I began to wonder if maybe I was right, and that God agreed with me. On my way to work the next morning, I continued to pray. As I did the words “clay jar” came to mind. I realized that God was speaking to me. Not in an audible voice, but through my heart. God was telling me that I was not a failure, but that I was a clay jar for him to fill. Over the next few weeks, God continued to expand on that idea, and I am learning to listen and recognize the voice of my Shepherd. I am learning that that voice can come any number of ways, from a song on the radio to something I read, from a prompting deep in my heart to a friend’s words to me. God still speaks through Scripture, but now I firmly believe that we cannot limit how God chooses to communicate.
By the way, try the exercise. You may be surprised.
This week, I’m going to repost some things I wrote last year during the Easter season. This first one was written for Palm Sunday.
Today we celebrated the day that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, surrounded by people hailing him as the Messiah. Evidently this procession was not the only one making it’s way into the city that day. The Roman governor, Pilate, was also entering Jerusalem with his forces. This was something that happened before every Jewish holiday. After all, the Romans had to remind the Jews who really was in charge.
So, you have an imperial Roman procession on one side of the city and a subversive, Messianic parade on the other side. The people shouting, “Hosanna!” as Jesus made his way along the road thought they understood what was going on. As they saw it, this man who had performed so many miracles was the promised king who would drive out the hated Gentile oppressors and restore the glory of Israel. Unfortunately, as the week unfolded, many of these same people, now disillusioned, would join in the calls for his crucifixion by those same oppressors.
Those folks were partially right. Jesus was the promise Messiah. He had come to set up a kingdom and free them from their oppression. What they didn’t realize was the nature of the kingdom. It was a kingdom that is not of this world, a kingdom that came in, not by way of overthrowing the present empire, but by the king dying at the hands of that empire. The Jews were expecting God to do things the way they expected. They didn’t understand that God rarely works that way.
I thought of how many times I’ve prayed for things and thought that God was going to answer those prayers in a certain way, either because I had jumped through a certain number of hoops to “earn” God’s blessing, or because I couldn’t think of any other way God could act. I trusted in God for the things I thought he would (or should) do. Like the Jews I followed Jesus for what I could get out of it. The funny thing is, God never seemed to do the things that I expected, yet so many things turned out in such a way that I knew the Father was taking care of me. Things were not all sweetness and light, and sometimes I questioned God about what he was doing. But I can look back on those days and see that God was there, and that he was working.
During our times together at St. Thomas, we have seen that God is not predictable. He is not someone who can be counted on to always do things a certain way. God relates to people in all kinds of ways, and we cannot tie him down to a particular plan of action. None of us can figure God out, yet he calls us into relationship with him. In that relationship we learn to trust God simply for who he is rather than for what we think he can do for us.
Be encouraged. Your Father loves you more than you know. He has given you his life and his glory. Trust the Father, even when the parade of Palm Sunday turns into the darkness of Friday.
For My Friends
In John 15:13, Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Of course, we know that the context is Jesus telling his disciples that he is now calling them friends and that he is going to lay down his life. That has also been interpreted over the years to teach that we, as followers of Jesus, are to lay down our lives for others. I look at this verse and put it together with the command to love each other as Christ loves us and the declaration that that love will be the mark that shows who we belong to. It causes me to look at myself and ask if I’m really willing to lay down my life for my friends. I don’t mean just being willing to take a bullet or throw myself in front of a speeding bus. It is much deeper, and I believe, much more difficult than that. Am I willing to give up my time for my friends? Am I willing to make them a priority? Am I willing to rearrange my schedule, if possible, for them? Am I willing to be awakened in the middle of the night to lend a hand? Am I willing to let them have their way in certain matters? To go deeper, am I willing to pursue a brother or sister who is estranged? Am I willing to forgo worship to be reconciled, as Jesus taught? Am I willing to humble myself and ask forgiveness? Am I willing to forgive, whether the other has asked or not? Am I willing to acknowledge hurt, forgive, and then re-establish fellowship because the other is my sister or brother, because we are family? Now it’s starting to sound more like dying. Am I willing to do whatever it takes, at any cost to myself, to strive to keep the unity we have in Jesus Christ? Am I willing to be misunderstood, criticized, even slandered to show Abba’s love to a world that is desperately in need of it? Am I willing to die? Tough questions. Questions that I ask myself, questions that all who follow Jesus should ask. My answer echoes the prayer of the father with the sick son in Mark 9:24: Lord, I am willing, help my lack of willingness!
A Peek Inside
While reading Wild at Heart this afternoon, I was struck by a particular passage where John Eldredge quoted Winston Churchill’s statement that all his past life had been a preparation for the trials Britain was going through in World War II. Eldredge then went on to state, “The same is true of you, your whole life has been preparation.”
This is what I wrote in response:
Father, is it true? Has all my life up to this point been preparation? For what? What is it that you want me to do that it has taken fifty five years of preparation? You have told me that I am a Gideon. I want so badly to be the kind of warrior who is willing to go up against insurmountable odds, armed only with your power. Let me be a clay jar, plain and unassuming, but a deadly weapon when filled with you. Gideon led others to freedom. That is what I want to do. I want to be an agent of your grace. I want to help others break away from the chains forged by the lies they believe. I want to be in the battle and watch what you will do.
I want to hear your voice in the midst of all the noise around me. I want to be dangerous, the kind of man who can’t be labeled, who can’t be controlled because he is doing what you tell him to do. I want to live abundantly, to love with abandon, to fight with every fiber of my being for the freedom for which you have set us free. I want to go when you say go, to fight when you say fight. I want to stop and watch you work and to rest when you tell me. I want people to take notice – of you, and the greatness of your grace.
Praying
Here’s another blast from the past:
In The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning quotes M. Basil Pennington on prayer. I’m posting that quote here. There is no need for me to comment.
“A father is delighted when his little one, leaving off her toys and friends, runs to him and climbs into his arms. As he holds his little one close to him, he cares little whether the child is looking around, her attention flitting from one thing to another, or just settling down to sleep. Essentially the child is choosing to be with her father, confident of the love, the care, the security that is hers in those arms. Our prayer is much like that. We settle down in our Father’s arms, in his loving hands. Our mind, our thoughts, our imagination may flit about here and there; we might even fall asleep; but essentially we are choosing for this time to remain intimately with our Father, giving ourselves to him, receiving his love and care, letting him enjoy us as he will. It is very simple prayer. It is very childlike prayer. It is prayer that opens us out to all the delights of the kingdom
And Now For Something Completely Different
I’m going to do something a bit different, and post some things I’ve written in the past. I’ll do this on Mondays for a while. Enjoy.
In The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning quotes M. Basil Pennington on prayer. I’m posting that quote here. There is no need for me to comment.
“A father is delighted when his little one, leaving off her toys and friends, runs to him and climbs into his arms. As he holds his little one close to him, he cares little whether the child is looking around, her attention flitting from one thing to another, or just settling down to sleep. Essentially the child is choosing to be with her father, confident of the love, the care, the security that is hers in those arms. Our prayer is much like that. We settle down in our Father’s arms, in his loving hands. Our mind, our thoughts, our imagination may flit about here and there; we might even fall asleep; but essentially we are choosing for this time to remain intimately with our Father, giving ourselves to him, receiving his love and care, letting him enjoy us as he will. It is very simple prayer. It is very childlike prayer. It is prayer that opens us out to all the delights of the kingdom.”
Praying in Faith? Part 2
I’ve come to some conclusions about this whole thing of praying in faith. One of the lessons God taught me during my time in the desert was that he wanted me to place my faith in him rather than in the things I thought he would do. That seemed to be the crux of the matter in how I prayed, and even what I prayed for. Not that God couldn’t or wouldn’t answer my prayers, but that my trust must be in my loving Father no matter what.
As the past four years have gone by that lesson is one that seemed to have faded a bit. Not totally forgotten, but I did need a reminder. In my case the answer to the question of praying in faith is to continue praying for the situation, to even desire it immensely, and then to trust the Father to simply do the right thing. I remember that my identity is that of a child of God, a brother and co heir with the King of Kings, and not in a job or title. Whether I do a certain thing or not, I am beloved of the Creator of the universe. It doesn’t get any better than that.
My faith is in the God who loves me, no matter what. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Praying in Faith?
I have a hard time praying in faith. To be honest, I’m not totally sure what that means. I’ve heard that praying in faith means believing and saying that God is going to give you what you pray for, and that you simply don’t have enough faith if you don’t get it. I’ve heard that we must pray with the faith that God’s will is going to be done, regardless of the answer.
I’ve prayed for situations where I was certain God was going to answer in a certain way, and he didn’t. In some, the answer was a clear “No.” One of those times, I visualized a certain thing as a mountain and told it to move, fully expecting my desire to happen. When the “mountain” remained in its place, my faith was damaged. It was months before I could pray at all, and was an even longer time before I prayed for any of my concerns. I could pray for others, but I felt like God just was not going to answer my prayers for myself. If I had stopped to think about it, I probably would have said I was drifting close to fatalism. Over time, I came to the point where I could pray for myself. Maybe I didn’t (don’t) have enough faith. Maybe I was asking with a wrong motive. Maybe my faith was misplaced. (that’s certainly been the case before)
All this musing has come about because there is a a particular thing that I really want God to do. There is a job that I’ve heard will come open. It actually would be more than just a job for me. It is something that will fit my passion, skills, and experience. It will allow me the opportunity to once again be involved in discipleship through athletics. Through a number of things that have transpired over the last two years, the timing seems right. It seems like the perfect situation. So, I am praying that God will be gracious and grant me this job.
The question remains. How do I pray in faith? How do I balance my deep desire and a trust that my Father will do what is best? Right now my prevailing attitude is, “Lord I believe. Help my unbelief.” Maybe that’s enough.