Category: reconciliation

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Looking Ahead

We are now roughly two months into the Covid-19 pandemic here in the United States. To say that this is a life changing thing would vastly underestimate the effect it has had on our lives. We don’t know what the future holds, whether immediate or long term. You can find a different prognosis and prediction for each day of the week. I don’t believe anyone has the complete picture. Regardless, the future will look a great deal different than what we have been used to.

There are some things I hope will be true in our lives in the days to come. I hope that we will be kinder people, more patient and understanding. That seems to be true right now, and I hope i t continues. I hope that we continue to care about others, even sacrificing out own interests to help someone. I hope that we actively look for ways to do good to our neighbors. I hope that we will cherish our families and the time we have with them.

I hope that we can put differences aside, whether political, philosophical, or social, and work to recognize and do what is good for all, rather than what benefits one group over another. I hope that we as a culture can be truly pro life, from the womb to the nursing home. I hope that we can welcome those who come here looking for a better life without blaming them for our ills. I hope that we can recognize the value of everyone in our society and pay wages that allow them to take care of themselves and their families. I hope that we can realize that it really doesn’t profit anyone to gain the whole world only to lose their soul.

I hope those of us who follow Jesus will realize that the church is not the building or the institution, but is the people. I hope that we will cherish our brothers and sisters in Christ, and seek to love them as Jesus loved us. I hope that we will be known more for what we are for than for what we are against. I hope that we show the truth, goodness, and beauty of Jesus to our neighbors and demonstrate the hope of people who know that this world will be renewed.

I hope that all of us will have a better idea of what really matters. I hope that the next crisis that comes along will find us better prepared to handle it in a way that benefits us all.

Pipe dream? Maybe, but I will not give up hope.

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February

This is the month we hear a lot about love. Most of what we hear is not an accurate picture of what love really is. Especially for those who follow Jesus, love has more to do with action than with feeling, although feeling can sometimes be involved. Jesus tells us that the greatest commandment is to love God with every fiber of our being, and that along with that we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Those two commandments cover it all. Jesus then says that we are to love our brothers and sisters in Christ as Jesus loved us. So, how do we love others, particularly fellow believers? The Apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 13 tells us what that kind of self sacrificing love looks like.

Love is patient. It doesn’t give up. It keeps on seeking the flourishing of the other. Love is kind. It is compassionate and gentle. Love is not envious, does not boast, and is not proud. Love doesn’t try to build itself up at the expense of others, but puts them first. It rejoices with those who rejoice and weeps with those who weep. Love does not dishonor others, but instead, builds them up.  Love isn’t self-seeking, but rather has the mind of Christ in Philippians 2.

Love is not easily angered and doesn’t keep a record of wrongs. It doesn’t blow up at the slightest provocation. It doesn’t keep track of how many times it has been hurt or how many times it has done good to the other. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It doesn’t rejoice when bad things happen to others, but it takes pleasure in the flowering of truth in others. 

Love always protects, hopes, trusts, and perseveres. Love is strong. It surrounds the other and shields them. It never loses hope in the other, because it trusts in the grace of the Father. Love doesn’t look for hidden agendas or motives, but trusts the other. It also trusts the Father to do his work in them. Love always stays strong. No matter how tough it gets, or how long it takes, love sticks around.

Love never fails. When prophecies cease, tongues are stilled. and knowledge passes away, there will still be love. Love is the greatest thing, ahead of even faith and hope. When it all boils down to the basics of living as a follower of Jesus, what is left is love.

Sounds impossible doesn’t it? It is impossible, if we try to do it in our own power. I mean, how do we love our enemies when we have a hard enough time loving those who are our friends? We do it because the Father has first loved us and put his Spirit in us to empower us to love as we are loved. Will we love perfectly? You know as well as I that the answer is no. That is one reason why love has to be patient, kind, trusting, and so on. It has to be that way to be able to continue to love those who imperfectly try to love us, even as they try to love us who imperfectly try to love them.

Let us seek to love others as Jesus has loved us, and trust the Father to shine his love through us onto others.

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Lonely or Broken?

Back in the 80s, the group Yes put out a single titled “Owner of a Lonely Heart.” One line in the song reads, “Owner of a lonely heart, much better than the owner of a broken heart.” There are a lot of people who would agree with that sentiment, along with that expressed in Simon and Garfunkel’s song, “I Am a Rock.” I can understand the feeling. Many have had their hearts broken by friends, family, lovers. Abuse, violence, and death is a common part of the human experience.

While I can understand wanting to withdraw from intimate contact with other people, thinking that hiding the heart will make life better, I would disagree with the sentiment that being lonely is better than being broken hearted. I agree with C.S. Lewis, who wrote: There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one , not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies, and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of perturbations of love is hell.

I believe a large part of the problem is our culture’s definition of love as something that will make the one loved happy and make the lover happy. It is a very self-centered thing. Because we can never make another person completely happy, and no one can ever make us completely happy, going into any kind of relationship with another person will be no safe investment. If you try to love others, whether as a spouse or friend, they may hurt you and you may hurt them.

As a follower of Jesus, I am commanded to love others. Not necessarily to seek to make them happy, and certainly not to make myself happy, although both of those things can and will happen at times. I am called to love others in a sacrificial way that seeks their good, even if that good may make them unhappy for a time. I am also called to love everyone, those who are like me and those who are different. This is where the rubber meets the road. Can I love my brothers and sisters in my local fellowship when we don’t see eye to eye? Can I love those who follow Jesus differently? If those whom I fellowship with aren’t “as far along in their walk with God as I am” can I love them?

In A Fellowship of Differents, Scot McKnight writes that to love others we must be committed. We must commit to be with those we seek to love. We must spend time with them, being a faithful presence. We must commit to be for them, to be on their side and let them know that we are for them. We must also commit to love them unto the person God has created them to be. As God’s faithful presence in us and his commitment for us transforms us unto the likeness of Jesus, so our loving relationships can transform those we love. It is in that loving unto that we run into difficulties. We don’t always take well to correction or teaching. We must be careful that we don’t hurry the unto before we have loved with and for. By our presence and support, our unconditional love, the Spirit can work in the hearts of those we love.

As someone who likes to be the one who fixes things, often with not so good results, I can tell you that what we need to do in our relationships is be faithful in our presence and support, and then trust the Spirit to do the work of changing hearts the way God wants, not the way we want. This is not easy because our love for others leads us to want them to be Christlike, and it can be heart breaking when it doesn’t happen. But, the results are not up to us. We are simply called to love as Jesus loves us. Period.

Let us show the world around us that we belong to Jesus by our love for others, especially our brothers and sisters.

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Just Jesus and Me?

 When I was growing up, we used to sing a song about how it was “Jesus and me” traveling the road of life together. This went right along with the idea that salvation was an individual thing and that Jesus was “my personal Savior.” While there is a sense in which God redeems us as individuals, I believe that there is much more to the work of Christ than just Jesus and me.

I no longer believe that following Jesus is just about making him your personal Savior or that the Christian life is lived individually. As I have studied Scripture I have come to believe that when God calls us and makes us his children, he is making us members of a family, a body. The word for church means a called out assembly, not a collection of separate individuals.

The idea that salvation and the Christian life is an individual thing has done damage to the body of Christ. If you look around at the Church in the United States you see the results of an individualistic faith. In many places there is a lack of commitment to the larger body. People move from church to church for various reasons. Many times folks leave because of problems in relationships. Someone has done something against them and it’s easier to simply find another church than do the hard work of repenting, forgiving, and reconciling. It seems as if many look for a place where they can be served and “fed” (whatever that means) by a weekly concert and inspirational talk. They aren’t looking for community, or they don’t understand what community entails.

We are redeemed to be part of one another. We are a body and each part of the body needs each other part. I believe the day may come when those who claim Christ will have to come together and live as one body. We will no longer have the luxury of dividing over things that are not worth dividing over. We will be forced to live in harmony, forgiving each other no matter how many times they sin against us and loving each other with a selfless love, just as Jesus loved us. Maybe we ought to start doing that now so it won’t be such a shock.

May God help us to live together as fellow children of the Father who are members of one body.

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Advent

I’m thankful for the season of the church calendar called Advent. To me, it is a good antidote to the sometimes crazy Christmas season. This year the message of longing, hope, and anticipation resonates with me more than it has in previous years.
This has been a tough year. Ten people that I know have died this year, including my father-in-law, a dear friend, and some of my bus passengers, among others. Add to that the craziness of the political scene and other things, and I pray, “Even so, come Lord Jesus,” with more longing. As the people of Israel longed for their Messiah to come and deliver them, so I long for the King to return and set all things to right. I long for the day when all will be restored, when everything sad will become untrue.

Fortunately, along with the longing there is hope. Simeon and Anna lived with hope that the Messiah would come and their hope was rewarded. We can have hope that our Savior will return as he promised and that all our longing will be fulfilled. Because we know our Father loves us, we can live in expectancy that he will do as he has promised.

Embrace the longing, the unmet desires of the heart. Trust that all of the promises of a new creation will be kept. Celebrate the season as one who waits and hopes for the fulfillment of what our Christmas celebrations are but a dream.

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Sad, Angry, and Hopeful

Today, I lied to one of my bus passengers. She told me she had been diagnosed with ALS and asked me if I knew anything about it. After stating a couple of generalities, I told her that I couldn’t think of anything else because I didn’t want to be the one to tell her that the disease is fatal. Two days ago, our next door neighbor died from pancreatic cancer, just a few days after coming home from the hospital. A week and a half ago, friends of ours lost their twenty one year old only son in a tragic accident. I see and hear of families and friendships being torn asunder because of pride and selfishness.

I am saddened by all these things. It is heartbreaking to see parents grieving a son that is supposed to outlive them. It grieves me to know that I will no longer speak to my neighbor across the fence between our houses. I am sad to hear of someone contracting a deadly disease. My heart aches to see relationships broken and people I know in pain.

I am angry because none of these things are the way it is supposed to be, the way creation was made to be. I am angry at evil, at sin, at the things that happen to us, and at the things we do to each other. I am angry because I feel helpless much of the time, knowing that so much is out of my control.

I am sad and I am angry. Yet, at the same time I am hopeful. I believe that the Creator of the universe has stepped into this world, taking on humanity. Entering death, on the cross, the King came through the other side and defeated death. His kingdom was inaugurated through this death and has been coming to fruition in small ways ever since. This King will return and set all things to right. I don’t understand everything that happens in this life and there are many things I don’t like. But, I do believe that one day there will be no cancer, no ALS, no death. I believe that all broken relationships will be reconciled and there will be wholeness and peace.

Even so come, Lord Jesus!

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Lessons From Meatloaf

The singer, not the food. I know what you all are thinking. “Fred’s really lost his mind!” Now that may be true, but bear with me.

In the song, “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad,” there is a line that says, “I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you.” I wonder if this might be descriptive of many in the church in the 21st century.

One thing I do believe is true is that many in the American evangelical church have a hard time being in community with other believers. I’m not talking about gathering in a worship setting once a week, although that is a vital part of community. I’m talking about spending time with other believers, gathering in homes and other places and digging beneath the surface to build up and challenge each other in following Jesus. That is community, and it can be messy at times.

I think many are saying, “I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you.” In other words, they crave community, being known and loved for who they are. They want to be loved and accepted. They recognize their need for community. But.

But, when it comes down to the hard stuff, the hard work of loving as Jesus loves us, the messiness of sacrificially loving others with all their warts and blemishes, that’s a different story. Then it becomes, “ain’t no way!” Some hang out on the periphery, never quite throwing their lot in fully. Others find a church that only asks that they show up once a week and put their money in the offering plate.

Although we do want and need to be part of a fellowship that accepts and loves us, and that challenges us, it is not really about our wants and needs. It is about obeying what our King told us to do, to love one another and to lay down our lives for each other. That is how the world will know we belong to Jesus, not by how we vote or what position we take on social issues. The first Christians, with all their flaws, learned to live with and love folks from all kinds of backgrounds and with all sorts of issues. Even though they were far from perfect, they were known throughout the world for their love for each other and for those outside. And, they turned the world upside down.

May God help us to say, “I want you, I need you, and I will love you no matter what it takes.”

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The Problem With Community

Community is a wonderful thing. It is how we make disciples and how we grow in the Christian life. But, there is a problem that happens when followers of Jesus come together to live in community. The problem is that there are not that many people who really want to be in community as Scripture presents it.

Most of us have an idealized picture of what Christian community is. We see it as an idyllic place where we are loved and accepted completely and there are never any disagreements, at least any that may lead to someone being hurt. We may see community as simply a group of friends, while the real work of the church gets done on Sunday. We have what Bonhoeffer called “wish dreams,” utopian visions of community. These wish dreams are extremely dangerous, and can eventually kill the community. These idealized pictures cause us to try to center community around something other than Christ and to attempt to keep it going by the sheer force of our wills. I can attest, from personal experience that centering community around anything other than Jesus and what he has done for us will cause the community to crash and burn, with the resultant “loss of life.”

Community is messy. I may misunderstand you or disappoint you. I may offend you or hurt you deeply. You may do the same to me. We will disagree on things. Sometimes those disagreements may be heated. None of us are perfect. Anyone who knows me knows how true that is. Sometimes though, we forget that and are ready to run at the first sign of conflict or the first hurt feeling. Some will say, “That person yelled at me and totally misunderstood me. I’m leaving.” Or, ” He wounded me deeply. I can’t be a part of this anymore.” While there may be times to leave a group if things are bad, many times the leavers have had their picture of community shattered and don’t want to deal with the messiness of trying to work things out. Maybe hard things need to be said or heard. That is part of living as the family of God.

Others will say, “I’m just not being fed. I need a good preacher to feed me.” Good preaching is a part of our growth in Christ, but it is only a part. I would argue, and I think Scripture would bear this out, that the intimate gatherings of God’s children, whether in Missional communities, small groups, or one to one, do more to facilitate spiritual formation than even the best preaching or teaching. It is in the interaction we have with our brothers and sisters on a daily or at least regular basis that shape us. It is in those times that we learn how to follow Jesus in our day-to-day. As we spend time together, we see how others respond in certain situations. The times of disagreement and the times we mess up should be the best times to learn how to love as Jesus loved us and how to extend the same grace we have been given. The troubling times should be the times that actually form us more into Christ’s image and draw us closer to one another.

To do that though, requires us to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. We don’t like to do that because we may have tried and been ground under the heel of someone we trusted. It’s hard. I’ve felt like I had my heart torn out and stomped on. Add that to the fact that we are basically selfish and living in community looks pretty hard, even impossible. That’s why it has to be centered in the gospel. We are called to be people who repent, who forgive, who seek reconciliation, and who willingly lay down our lives for others. We can only do that if the Spirit has formed our community and gives us the power to live as a spiritual family.

It hurts when people leave. May our communities truly be places where the gospel is lived out and where God’s kingdom comes.

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How Quickly We Forget

A few weeks ago, the nation was shocked at the senseless murders of nine people at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston. The next day, many were shocked at the forgiveness extended to the shooter by the families of those killed. The shooter, Dylann Roof, carried out his crime in an effort to start a race war. While there was not widespread violence in the country immediately afterward, I fear that, in some way, the killer succeeded.

We seem to have forgotten what we saw that day when the families forgave the man who had so brutally taken their loved ones from them. What we saw was the result of the gospel. Those who realized they had been forgiven much, forgave much. The media and many of the politicians noted what was an extraordinary event, and then moved on. Moved on to the controversy surrounding the decisions to remove the Confederate battle flag from the state capital in South Carolina and from other public buildings as well as stores and on-line marketplaces. Those decisions brought out rebel flags by the thousands, by those who believed it was their right to fly the flag regardless of what others may think or feel. Add that to the already tense climate caused by a number of police involved shootings (both as shooters and as victims). It seems as if the divide between the races has been widening in recent weeks. There is much rhetoric by people on either extreme that is designed to keep things stirred up. Very little is said about coming together in a spirit of  reconciliation to attempt some healing. There is not a great deal said about having a necessary hard conversation about the state of things in this country. It seems that the majority is simply interested in proving that they are right and everyone else is wrong.

I can understand the lack of desire for forgiveness and reconciliation from those who do not claim to follow Jesus. Those concepts are foreign in a world that tells us to demand our rights, to fight back, to make sure the other gets what’s coming to them. What pains me is the number of people who claim the name of Christ and carry on in the same manner as those who don’t. If an individual claims to be a Christian, why would they post on social media things that tell others that they are going to continue to fly the flag, or whatever action that their “side” is taking, regardless of what others may think, forgetting that some of those they may be offending are their brothers and sisters in Christ. I really don’t believe that is something that shows others the love of Christ. We of all people should be at the forefront of attempts to bring reconciliation. We should be the first to, in the words of Jeremiah, “Seek the peace and prosperity” of our city. Maybe we have no interest in reconciliation outside of our immediate area because we have not practiced it in our families or churches. It’s far to easy for us to simply uproot ourselves and leave family or church, and not attempt the hard work of repenting, forgiving, and reconciling.

All this is in spite of clear commands from the One we claim to follow. Jesus tells us we are to love our enemies, forgive those who sin against us, seek to be forgiven by those we sin against, and seek reconciliation and peace with others. We are called to love others as Jesus loved us. In fact, love and forgiveness are so important that they are the distinguishing marks of a Christian. Jesus said that it is those who are forgiven much who love much. I don’t know about you, but I certainly have been forgiven much. When we think of the lengths our Father went to in order to reconcile us to himself, how can we do anything less than forgive and seek reconciliation?

Scripture says that judgement begins at the house of God. It’s time we take a look at ourselves.

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Prayer for Charleston and Beyond

Father, we pray for the people of Charleston, for the families of those killed and for those injured. We pray for continued healing and strength in the weeks and months ahead. Thank you for the gospel we have seen in the forgiveness extended toward the shooter. Let that spirit of forgiveness and love spread throughout the city, throughout the state, and throughout the nation.

We pray that you would take what was meant for evil and turn it into the good of repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation between races, between denominations, between political parties. May your church be united in the love of Christ and may the world know who we are through that love.

Let your name be hallowed, your kingdom come, and your will be done even in the midst of tragedy.

Amen