One Year Ago

I have seen a lot of articles about remembering the “official” beginning of the pandemic one year ago. It was the start of a year that significantly changed our lives in many ways. Before the Covid virus hit, we could go wherever we wanted and be with friends and family without fear. That changed drastically.

For me personally, March 11, 2020 brought a significant, life changing event. I woke up that morning, and got ready for what I thought would be a normal day. I went to my usual Wednesday morning book discussion time with a couple of friends, then went to my job as a bus driver. At the lunch time, I did my usual workout. Afterward, I felt a little off, with a bit of a headache and just a general blah feeling. I figured I must have pushed myself too hard and didn’t give it another thought.

We had a new driver starting and he drove a group to WalMart to do some grocery shopping, while I rode along. When we arrived, I got off the bus to use the restroom. When I walked in the store I began to feel sick to my stomach and thought that I needed to get to the restroom quick before I lost it or passed out.

To make a long story short, I ended up in the hospital with a heart attack. I had had a couple of episodes earlier, but nothing that seemed overly concerning. I had even passed a stress test with flying colors. Little did I know that the artery hiding in the back of the heart had become 95% blocked and needed attention right away. The doctor put a stent in to keep the artery clear. After three or four visitors came to see me in my room, the hospital was put on lockdown.

I left the hospital after four days, and began the recovery process. I am now completely recovered. I have lost ten pounds, and my blood pressure and cholesterol are down to more normal levels. I feel good and have exceeded my fitness level of a year ago.

The most significant change has been my attitude toward life. I am realizing that I can’t take this life for granted and I am much more appreciative of the things in my life. More than that, I especially am thankful for the people in my life. I have been blessed with a wonderful wife, children and grandchildren, other family, and very good friends.

Facing my own mortatlity and seeing others, including people I know personally, face theirs, has taught me how precious and precarious this life is. It has taught me how completely dependant we all are on the grace of a good God. I have learned to depend on Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:26 about the Father’s care for the birds and how he cares for his children so much more. That is a great comfort and encouragement.

I have no idea what lies around the bend on the back road of life. We all have things we wish wouldn’t happen in our lives and the lives of those we hold dear. I do know that the same God who takes good care of the birds of the air and the beasts of the field, is my loving Father who is going to do what is good and best for me and for those I care about.

Native Tongue

I was listening to this song the other day, and I got to thinking about the lyrics and how they ring true to much of what is going on today. As someone who came of age in the 1970s, I remember well the hippie movement and the somewhat naive belief that the young could change the world. Woodstock, the Summer of Love, the protests against the war in Vietnam, and the Jesus Movement were all attempts to make the world a better place. Even with all the baggage that came with these things, there was a certain innocence and hope that was clearly present. Like any movement, there were those elements that sought to tear down and destroy, but I believe that we had the right idea, even if some twisted it for their own selfish ends. Many of us believed that we could change the world through love, even if some didn’t understand what love really was.

Fast forward fifty years or so, and I ask the same question that is posed in the lyrics to the song: “My friend, where did we go wrong?” Many of the very folks who spoke about love and peace, who helped end a war and bring down a corrupt President, turned into the ones who have accepted and particpated in the combative dialogue and actions of the last few years. The idea of love has been left in the dust of power and influence. The loudest voices today are the ones that speak of shutting down, and even destroying the “other side.” The ideas of working together for the common good seem to have disappeared, and love has become something that is reserved only for those who agree with us in every area.

What saddens me the most is that those of us who call ourselves followers of the Prince of Peace don’t seem to be any more loving than those who don’t claim Christ. I have seen posts on social media and heard things from the lips of Christians that are hateful rather than loving, and spiteful rather than gracious. Many have traded a kingdom of love for a kingdom of this world that demands that we put others down. This should not be. If we truly belong to Jesus Christ, love is our native tongue. If we truly are born of the Spirit, love is our default. Will we always love perfectly? No. But we will strive to do what our King commands.

Fellow Christians, I want us to sing in our native tongue, to sing it like when we were young, back before the pendulum had swung to the shadows. Fellow Christians, I want us to learn to use our lungs for love and not the shadows.

Blast From the Past: Out of the Cave, Into…

This too was written eight years ago. Shortly afterward, God led us to a community of faith where we have been ever since.

Some of you have read my recent post about finding myself in a cave. I’m now out of the cave, although still not far from the entrance. I now find myself in the middle of a thicket, sort of like a stand of rhododendron or mountain laurel, so thick that you cannot see out of it. It is still somewhat dark, and the direction I should take is unclear. I see many paths out, but don’t know yet which one to take.

There is the path that would take me back into the church world I left a few years ago. Next to it is the path that would take me to the land of the mega-church. Here I could find a place to hide and lick my wounds. One path seems to go in circles, and looks as if it would leave me no better off. Yet another way out continues in the search for community. That is the path that interests me the most, and the way that I have learned most about in the last couple of days.

You see, I have learned something about community, and about myself. I think I’m beginning to learn why I spent time in the dark cave. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a pretty laid back individual, but that when I am passionate about something, I tend to go all out. As I learned more and more about the God’s desire for his children to live as brothers and sisters because of Christ, I became more and more passionate with living in community. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community.” As I look back on the past year, and my desire to have and fight for community, I realize I inadvertently pushed it too hard and may have been part of the cause of its destruction. I know that my heart was good, but I think I may have wanted community so badly that I didn’t see the problems that it was causing. Even though I tried to sacrificially love those around me, I think that I didn’t leave room for God to work, thinking that as long as we spent enough time together, growth and maturity would automatically happen.

I now realize that community is something that has to happen naturally, as God’s people learn to love one another. It is something that cannot be forced, and the Holy Spirit must be the one to form it rather than humans whose motives can be tainted by our own needs. I also realize that a particular form of community may not last as long as I think, and that I need to be willing to let it go when it is time. For those of you reading this who have been on the receiving end of my misguided efforts, I am sorry. I put the ideal of community ahead of my brothers and sisters. I was wrong.

As to what is next in this journey along the back roads, only God knows. I know that Jan and I still desire to share our lives with some fellow Christ-followers. I also know that it may not take any form that we expect. It may be in a regular gathering. It may take place in just getting together with one or two who share our desire. What I also know is that I want it to be something that happens as Christ’s Spirit moves, not when I think it should happen.

I’m learning to trust my Father. As I leave the thicket, I want to be hear my Shepherd’s voice and follow him wherever he leads, whenever he leads, and to whatever he leads. I would appreciate your prayers.

Blast From the Past: The Cave

This was first published eight years ago when I was going through some things.

Papa! Papa! Where am I?

How did I get here? It’s so dark. I can’t see a thing!
I remember walking along the path with my friends. Next thing I know I’m waking up here in the dark. I think I remember the path passing near the entrance of a cave. Is that where I am?

How do you feel?

Everything hurts. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Now I remember. We were walking along when I was hit by something. Who would have done something like this?

An Enemy has done this.

Papa, it hurts so bad! I don’t understand! I’m all alone here in the darkness and I feel like everyone has abandoned me!

You are not alone. Your most trusted long time companion is near, waiting for you. I am here.

How did this happen? Everything seemed good. There was some loose rock on the path at times, and there were some places where part of the path had washed away. but I thought we had gotten past them. I thought this part of the journey was going well. I thought we were together.

Papa?

I’m broken. I feel like I can’t move. I’m afraid to try because I can’t see and I don’t know if it’s safe. I don’t know what to do!

Do you remember the time you spent in the desert learning to trust me rather than what you expected me to do?

Yes, I do. That was hard.

You still have more to learn.

Does it have to be so painful? I’d rather lose a job again than feel so hurt and rejected!

Papa, what do I do?

Stay here for awhile. Don’t move. I know it’s dark and you’re scared, but I’m here with you. You are broken, but my love will heal you. You are safe here. Learn again to trust me. No matter what.

When the time comes, I will lead you out of this place, and you and the person who truly loves you will continue on in your journey with me.

Papa, help me! I have no strength.

I know. I am your strength. I love you, son.

Encouragement From a Lamppost

Last night was a night of fitful sleep and unsatisfying dreams. When I awoke this morning, I was feeling the weight of a number of things that are happening in this little conrner of the world. The events of the past few months and the strain that has put on relationahips of people that I know, the friend who is waiting for a possible diagnosis of cancer, and the friend whose mother just had a stroke, along with the stresses of helping lead a faith community to follow Jesus more closely. These are on top of dealing with Jan’s HD and all that goes with it, and trying to keep myself healthy.

When I went to the kitchen to make coffee, I looked out the window into our backyard. What I saw was similar to the picture above, minus the snow and fir trees. It was about 6:45, and the sky was just beginning to lighten. What I saw was unusual because the lamp had never stayed lit all through the night before this, and the previous day had been cloudy. I had bought that particular lamppost because it reminded me of the lamppost in the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis.

When I saw the lamp still lit, the first thing that I thought (I believe it was God speaking to my heart) was, “There is still hope.” In the Narnia tales, the lamppost marked the border between Narnia and the wardrobe in the spare room. In some way it signified hope, because it was there that the story of Aslan coming and reclaiming Narnia began. As you read through the rest of the books, there is always an undercurrent of hope, no matter how dire the circumstances.

I have no idea what is going to happen in each of those situations I mentioned. I know I am praying for healing and restoration, but I also know that the final outcome is beyond my reach. But there is still hope. There is still the hope that no matter what happens, my loving Father has us all in his hands, and he always does what is good and right. There is still hope that the King of Kings will return and make everything right, healing every hurt and wiping every tear. There is still hope that Romans 8:18-39 is true.

You may be going through something similar, or worse. Things may well seem hopless to you. I would encourage you to look to the One who alone can give hope. Look to the King who has conquered death and who is bringing a new creation. Look to him because, to be honest with you, without him it is hopeless.

Thoughts on Epiphany, 2021

The word epiphany, at its core, means a revealing. This past Wednesday was Epiphany Day, and the events that unfolded in Washington, DC and other cities revealed a few things.

First, they revealed the true nature of some, not all of the supporters of Donald Trump. I recognize that many of the folks who have supported him the past four years are good people with motives they consider right. Having said that, I also believe that many of the folks that have ridden the Trump train have done so because they do not want to see “their side:, whatever that is, lose power. Many of the Republicans who are now loudly speaking out against him had nothing to say the last four years because they wanted to keep their party in power. There are folks who are afraid that white Americans will lose power and “those people” will take all our liberties away. I believe that this fear has led many to embrace some of the conspiracy theories swirling around the recent election. If a theory about the election, or anything else for that matter, is put forth by someone who believes that lizard people are among us and out to take all our children away to be eaten or turned into zombies, it’s probably not true.

The other thing the events of last Wednesday revealed is the utter bankruptcy of trying to do the work of the Kingdom of God using the tools of the world. There is actually a huge conspiracy out there. It is the conspiracy of the ruler of the powers of the air, i.e. satan. He has been conspiring and attempting to destroy God’s creation ever since the beginning. He is the father of lies, and is constantly trying to hinder what God is doing by attacking and dividing. He has succeeded in dividing the Church in America, because we have bought the lies that our political allegiance is paramount, that the ballot box will determine if the Church will succed or fail. I was appalled to see banners with Jesus on them carried next to Trump banners, as if they were equal. I was disheartened to see the Christian flag carried into the chambers of Congress by members of the mob. I am saddened by the preachers who stand in front of rallies and proclaim that they must fight to preserve their rights. Peter tried that in the garden and Jesus told him to put his sword away. And don’t quote the verse to me where the disciples tell Jesus they had two swords and he said that was enough. Do you really believe he was saying two swords would be enough to fight against the Roman Empire?

I don’t care on which side of the aisle we place ourselves. If we claim to follow the One who said his Kingdom was not from this world, who told his followers to love their enemies, who willingly gave himself over to the authorities to be killed, we have no business condemning folks who disagree with us. We have no business hitching our wagon to the star of any political party. Neither Trump nor Biden is equal to Jesus. The United States is not equal to the Kingdom of God. We have no business downgrading our faith by taking it down to the level of our political ideas.

Followers of Jesus, we have work to do. There are too many who have taken the mission of the Kingdom and turned it into gaining earthly power and influence. There are too many who are making Republicans, or Democrats, or Libertarians instead of making disciples of King Jesus. I can understand why many have rejected the message. It’s because we have either proclaimed the wrong message or we have hidden the real message under layers of garbage. We must return to telling others that there really is a King, that he died to free us from sin and death, that he rose again because he had broken the power of death, and that he calls everyone to follow him. We must tell them that this King will return and that he will set everything right. Along with this proclamation, we must show the world that it is true by the way we live our lives, loving each other, loving our enemies, and living out our sole allegiance to the King of Kings over and above any other party or man.

God help us to recapture the gospel.

Goodbye and Hello

Tonight we say goodbye, or rather, good riddance to the year 2020, and say hello to 2021.

Sometimes, there is a sense of loss in looking back on the year. I don’t believe this year is any different. Many, if not most of us can look back on things lost this year. Lost opportunities abound. Many didn’t get the chance to have their graduation, final season, vacation, family reunion, etc. The list goes on. Businesses closed, and millions of people lost their jobs. Even worse, many lost health and loved ones.

Our institutions took a hit as well. Many churches lost people as attending a virtual worship service morphed into not bothering at all for many. Our political process turned into a sideshow that may have long lasting repercussions. Our society seems as divided as ever, and many wonder if it will ever come back together.

Even the weather seemed to have it out for us. The hurricane season began before the official date and ended after it was supposed to be over. There was a record number of storms, adding to the loss and devastation in some parts of the country.

While there are many reasons to simply write this year off, there have been positive things happen. American politics haven’t yet fallen apart completely, even though some may have been trying to make that happen. Even with all the machinations, the system is still working. In the midst of the division, there has been more of a desire to ensure the rights of those whose rights have been under appreciated. We still have a long way to go, but it’s a start. Even with the horrendous loss of lives from this pandemic, it could have been worse. We have seen people join together on an unprecedented scale to try and alleviate the suffering of others. Many heroes have emerged from this tragedy. There has been much good come out of adversity.

We can look to the year ahead with trepidation or with hope. There will be dark days ahead, as the pandemic continues. Politicians will still look out for their own interests, and forget about the rest of us. There will still be selfish people, and the economy will still struggle. I choose to believe that better days are ahead, regardless of what shape those days might take. To do otherwise would be to give in to despair. As a follower of King Jesus, I believe that nothing that happened this past year suprised him, and that nothing in the future is going to shock him.

I have seen God work in some amazing ways in this past year, and I believe he will contine to work in the year to come. You might call me a starry-eyed optimist who isn’t grounded in reality, but my optimism isn’t an everything will be peachy keen, rose colored glasses optimism. My outlook is shaped by the firm belief that the King has come, has brought his Kingdom and the new creation into being, and will return again to finally set all things right. That is the reality in which I live. I hope you too can come to see that truth as well.

May God bless you in this year ahead.

A Prayer

Father in heaven, I pray that the people of this land are gracious in victory or defeat. I pray that our representatives in government work together for the good of this nation and that you heal the deep divide that separates us.

Let those of us who claim Jesus as our Lord lead the way as peacemakers.

Amen