Category: relationships

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Following Jesus: Part 3-Loving Others

The second of the two commandments Jesus said summed up the Law and the Prophets is love your neighbor as yourself. This is another way we follow Jesus. In John 15, Jesus gave a new command. He said we were to love our brothers and sisters as he loved us.
The love that Jesus commands us to practice is a love that puts others first. It is a love that sacrifices for others, even to the point of laying down our lives. It is a love that does the same for others that Jesus did for us.

One of the primary reasons the early church turned the world upside down was their love, for each other and for their neighbors. The first Christians were well known for the way they cared for their brothers and sisters and the way they looked past social, racial, and other differences to form a family with God as their Father. They were also known for caring for their neighbors, often  putting themselves at risk. No matter what else was said about the early followers of Jesus, it was obvious that they loved others in a way far different from the culture around them.

It seems as if those who of us who call ourselves followers of Jesus are known more for what we are against and our fighting than for our love for others. We seem to be quite willing to forget the command to lay down our lives in exchange for what we think is power and influence. At times our worship seems to be more about ourselves than about the One who gave his life for us. The things that capture our imaginations are many times antithetical to the Kingdom and are self-centered instead of others-centered.

Loving others as Jesus loved us means giving up our “rights,” our interests, our wants, for the good of others. While we may be willing to step in front of a bullet for someone, how willing are we to give up our time, comfort, or possessions? How willing are we to essentially become nothing so that Christ might be glorified and others benefited?

Following Jesus can be distilled into two commands. We love God with every fiber of our being, and we love others. Everything thing else flows from that. It is not an easy thing to do. In fact, it is impossible if we try to do it in our own strength. If we belong to Jesus, we have his Spirit in us giving us the ability to love as we are called to love.

May we again be known for our love.
Part 1
Part 2 

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Church Signs: “A Church Alive…

…Is Worth the Drive.”

This was on the sign in front of a church just down the road from our house. Now, I have no firsthand knowledge of how “alive” this church is, so I won’t address that. My issue is more with the idea of making a (possibly long) drive to a church.

When Jan and I were in the process of trying to find a church a few years ago, we visited a few churches within the metro area of which our city is a part. Most of them had good things going for them, and probably could be considered “alive” by most folks. None of them had any doctrinal issues that would have been a deal breaker.

There was one thing that steered us away from all of these churches. They were all at least a twenty to thirty minute drive from our house. While that would have been fine if all we were looking for was a Sunday morning worship service, we were looking for something quite different. We were looking for community, a place where we could serve, love, and be loved. We were looking for a group that we could join with in living as brothers and sisters who saw life together as the church as far more than just a once or twice a week meeting. We wanted a spiritual family that spent time fellowshipping and discipling as a part of day-to-day life.

We wanted to serve with the folks we worshipped with and worship with the folks we served with. We desired to be fully part of a community of faith. Fortunately, we have found that and I can’t imagine traveling one day a week to worship with people who I only see on that day.

There are a lot of folks who do prefer the drive in order to find a church which is “alive.” I know that there are churches like that who do kingdom work and truly make disciples. However, I believe that the model of smaller, parish type churches who live in community and are a part of the neighborhood where they are located are what is going to do the most work for the kingdom in the days to come. I believe that a time may come in this country when followers of Jesus will have to live in community in order to continue. It might do us good if we started now.

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Just Jesus and Me?

 When I was growing up, we used to sing a song about how it was “Jesus and me” traveling the road of life together. This went right along with the idea that salvation was an individual thing and that Jesus was “my personal Savior.” While there is a sense in which God redeems us as individuals, I believe that there is much more to the work of Christ than just Jesus and me.

I no longer believe that following Jesus is just about making him your personal Savior or that the Christian life is lived individually. As I have studied Scripture I have come to believe that when God calls us and makes us his children, he is making us members of a family, a body. The word for church means a called out assembly, not a collection of separate individuals.

The idea that salvation and the Christian life is an individual thing has done damage to the body of Christ. If you look around at the Church in the United States you see the results of an individualistic faith. In many places there is a lack of commitment to the larger body. People move from church to church for various reasons. Many times folks leave because of problems in relationships. Someone has done something against them and it’s easier to simply find another church than do the hard work of repenting, forgiving, and reconciling. It seems as if many look for a place where they can be served and “fed” (whatever that means) by a weekly concert and inspirational talk. They aren’t looking for community, or they don’t understand what community entails.

We are redeemed to be part of one another. We are a body and each part of the body needs each other part. I believe the day may come when those who claim Christ will have to come together and live as one body. We will no longer have the luxury of dividing over things that are not worth dividing over. We will be forced to live in harmony, forgiving each other no matter how many times they sin against us and loving each other with a selfless love, just as Jesus loved us. Maybe we ought to start doing that now so it won’t be such a shock.

May God help us to live together as fellow children of the Father who are members of one body.

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Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness

This is the fifth post in the series.

 Kindness is a term that describes how God has looked on us and treated us in Titus 3:4-5. He had compassion on us and showed us kindness through Jesus.

The Hebrew word “chesed” describes a kindness that is loyal and loving in the book of Ruth. It is more than just a feeling of love. It is a term of action, of doing good to those who don’t necessarily have any claim on us. It is the way people treat little children, with compassion and tenderness.

As the Spirit grows kindness in us, we become people who are loving in our actions toward others. We become more compassionate, not just in our hearts, but also in our hands. Kindness can take many forms. It can mean giving a gift, making a meal, spending time with one who is grieving, listening to someone who is going through a hard time. It can mean forgiving someone and restoring a relationship. It can be simply being available. Any thing we can do to show love to another.

May the Spirit produce an increasing crop of kindness in us.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

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Fruit of the Spirit: Patience

This is the fourth in the series.

The fourth fruit of the Spirit is patience. Depending on the translation, it is rendered patience, forbearance, or long suffering. I think any of those work, depending on our situation.

Patience is the idea of bearing up under some type of load, whether it’s waiting for something, bearing with another person, or staying strong in the midst of trials. As we live in community with others, there are plenty of opportunities to show forbearance in our dealings with one another.

We also need patience as we wait for something we are praying for. As hard as it may be we must remember that God’s timing is not like ours. As Aslan told Lucy, “I call all times soon.” When we take the long view, we can see that our Father is never late.

As we walk in step with the Spirit, we become more patient with others, with ourselves, and with God.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

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Sad, Angry, and Hopeful

Today, I lied to one of my bus passengers. She told me she had been diagnosed with ALS and asked me if I knew anything about it. After stating a couple of generalities, I told her that I couldn’t think of anything else because I didn’t want to be the one to tell her that the disease is fatal. Two days ago, our next door neighbor died from pancreatic cancer, just a few days after coming home from the hospital. A week and a half ago, friends of ours lost their twenty one year old only son in a tragic accident. I see and hear of families and friendships being torn asunder because of pride and selfishness.

I am saddened by all these things. It is heartbreaking to see parents grieving a son that is supposed to outlive them. It grieves me to know that I will no longer speak to my neighbor across the fence between our houses. I am sad to hear of someone contracting a deadly disease. My heart aches to see relationships broken and people I know in pain.

I am angry because none of these things are the way it is supposed to be, the way creation was made to be. I am angry at evil, at sin, at the things that happen to us, and at the things we do to each other. I am angry because I feel helpless much of the time, knowing that so much is out of my control.

I am sad and I am angry. Yet, at the same time I am hopeful. I believe that the Creator of the universe has stepped into this world, taking on humanity. Entering death, on the cross, the King came through the other side and defeated death. His kingdom was inaugurated through this death and has been coming to fruition in small ways ever since. This King will return and set all things to right. I don’t understand everything that happens in this life and there are many things I don’t like. But, I do believe that one day there will be no cancer, no ALS, no death. I believe that all broken relationships will be reconciled and there will be wholeness and peace.

Even so come, Lord Jesus!

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Fruit of the Spirit: Love

I want to take some time the next few posts and look at the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5 and ask ourselves how much the Spirit has been producing in us.

The first fruit is love. Love is more than just a warm, fuzzy feeling that you can just as easily get from swallowing a caterpillar. It is an inward feeling, true, but it is one that manifests itself in outward actions for the good of another. Jesus tells us that we are to love others as he loved us. That love is a sacrificial love that is concerned with the well-being of others. Jesus said that the greatest love is to lay down our lives for others.

It is good to ask ourselves from time to time, “Do I put others first?” “Do I work for the good of others?” “Am I willing to lay down my desires, my wishes, my agenda?” “Am I willing to compromise (without sinning) for the good of another? In short, “Am I willing to give my life for the well-being of others, regardless?”

I know that this is something that I sometimes struggle with, at least as far as motivation goes. That’s why community is vital. We need the encouragement and examples of others. I am thankful for what I see in so many of my brothers and sisters.

Let us continue to encourage each other to follow Jesus more closely.

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Lessons From Meatloaf

The singer, not the food. I know what you all are thinking. “Fred’s really lost his mind!” Now that may be true, but bear with me.

In the song, “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad,” there is a line that says, “I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you.” I wonder if this might be descriptive of many in the church in the 21st century.

One thing I do believe is true is that many in the American evangelical church have a hard time being in community with other believers. I’m not talking about gathering in a worship setting once a week, although that is a vital part of community. I’m talking about spending time with other believers, gathering in homes and other places and digging beneath the surface to build up and challenge each other in following Jesus. That is community, and it can be messy at times.

I think many are saying, “I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you.” In other words, they crave community, being known and loved for who they are. They want to be loved and accepted. They recognize their need for community. But.

But, when it comes down to the hard stuff, the hard work of loving as Jesus loves us, the messiness of sacrificially loving others with all their warts and blemishes, that’s a different story. Then it becomes, “ain’t no way!” Some hang out on the periphery, never quite throwing their lot in fully. Others find a church that only asks that they show up once a week and put their money in the offering plate.

Although we do want and need to be part of a fellowship that accepts and loves us, and that challenges us, it is not really about our wants and needs. It is about obeying what our King told us to do, to love one another and to lay down our lives for each other. That is how the world will know we belong to Jesus, not by how we vote or what position we take on social issues. The first Christians, with all their flaws, learned to live with and love folks from all kinds of backgrounds and with all sorts of issues. Even though they were far from perfect, they were known throughout the world for their love for each other and for those outside. And, they turned the world upside down.

May God help us to say, “I want you, I need you, and I will love you no matter what it takes.”

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Sticks, Stones, and Words

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” So goes the schoolyard chant. I beg to differ. While it may be true that sticks and stones may break bones, it is equally true that words can hurt, often in ways far worse than physical damage.

Now I don’t agree with the current way of thinking that wants “trigger warnings,” “safe places,” and other means of shielding people from speech and ideas that might challenge their own thinking. The desire to only see and hear what agrees with your presuppositions is a fast track to fear and ignorance. The lack of civil discourse is a growing problem in our society, even in the church.

I would agree that there is a point where we can become too careful with our words, walking on verbal eggshells in order to avoid making anyone feel bad. At the same time, I believe that those of us who follow Jesus are called to be careful with our speech. While we are to speak truth, we are called to do so in love. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says that using terms of contempt is equal to murder. Ephesians 4:29 tells us we are to not let any corrupting or unwholesome talk come out of our mouths but only say things that build one another up. I believe this goes beyond just an admonition to avoid cussing and dirty jokes.

In his letter, James tells us that our tongues should be instruments of blessing rather than cursing. Paul says that our words should be gracious and add “flavor” to others. All through Scripture we are commanded to guard our speech, to say things that build others up rather than tearing them down.

Most of can remember times when the words of another cut us to the quick and caused long lasting damage. If we’re honest, we can also remember times when we have done the same. Churches have split over things that have been said, as have whole denominations. Hateful, evil speech is not just a problem outside the church.

Jesus said that the world would know we are his by our love to one another. May we follow our Master and King by being careful and gracious with our words, and also being gracious and forgiving toward those who blow it, because we all will.
Let us grow more and more into the likeness of Christ Jesus in everything, including how we use our tongues.

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Blast From the Past: The Cave

This was first posted on January 25, 2012. It was not a good time in my life. Thankfully the Father has redeemed and brought healing. Sometimes it’s good to look back and see where we were and where we are now.

Papa! Papa! Where am I?

How did I get here? It’s so dark. I can’t see a thing!
I remember walking along the path with my friends. Next thing I know I’m waking up here in the dark. I think I remember the path passing near the entrance of a cave. Is that where I am?

How do you feel?

Everything hurts. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Now I remember. We were walking along when I was hit by something. Who would have done something like this?

An Enemy has done this.

Papa, it hurts so bad! I don’t understand! I’m all alone here in the darkness and I feel like everyone has abandoned me!

You are not alone. Your most trusted long time companion is near, waiting for you. I am here.

How did this happen? Everything seemed good. There was some loose rock on the path at times, and there were some places where part of the path had washed away. but I thought we had gotten past them. I thought this part of the journey was going well. I thought we were together.

Papa?

I’m broken. I feel like I can’t move. I’m afraid to try because I can’t see and I don’t know if it’s safe. I don’t know what to do!

Do you remember the time you spent in the desert learning to trust me rather than what you expected me to do?

Yes, I do. That was hard.

You still have more to learn.

Does it have to be so painful? I’d rather lose a job again than feel so hurt and rejected!

Papa, what do I do?

Stay here for awhile. Don’t move. I know it’s dark and you’re scared, but I’m here with you. You are broken, but my love will heal you. You are safe here. Learn again to trust me. No matter what.

When the time comes, I will lead you out of this place, and you and the person who truly loves you will continue on in your journey with me.

Papa, help me! I have no strength.

I know. I am your strength. I love you, son.