Today we began a study in the book of Revelation.
A Little Update
This morning I had my tenth radiation treatment for my prostate cancer. I have nineteen more to go. As I was sitting in the waiting room, a young woman came in and sat down. She looked like she was in her late teens, early twenties. I thought, “She’s far too young to have to undergo radiation for cancer.” At the same time I thought of a dear friend who is in her last hours on this earth due to cancer, and how she is also too young.
These thoughts, combined with the fact that I was sitting in a waiting room waiting to receive radiation for cancer, made me quite aware again of the fact that none of us gets out of here alive, barring the return of Jesus to set all things right. The past year or so, I have been doing a bit of downsizing, housecleaning, whatever you want to call it with my personal posessions. I have also been doing the same in the ways I approach life and those around me.
The buzz word (or dirty word, depending on your point of view) among Christians, is “deconstructing.” It means different things for different people. I am doing some deconstructing, or maybe decluttering might be a better word. I am realizing that many of the things we allow ourselves to get all worked up about aren’t realy worth the mental or emotional energy. I care and less about national and world politics, although I will still speak about things that I think are important to my faith. I am learning to care less and less about what people think, although there is still a large part of me that wants to be liked.
My theology, like Karl Barth’s, is becoming more and more summed up in the words of the children’s song; “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so,” and my rule for living has become “Love God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind. And, love your neighbor as yourself.” I firmly believe that if those of us who claim to follow Jesus would practice those two commands, the church and the world would be better for it.
Life is short. Macbeth said that it is “a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” I heartily disagree. Life is a precious gift from our Creator, and we are to live in a way that gives back to him a bit of the love he has shown us, and that extends that love to those in our lives. Love the people around you, while there is still time.
Reflections at 65
Yesterday I completed my sixty fifth year on this earth. It seems hard to believe it’s been that long, yet at the same time it feels like a long time has past. There have been a lot of changes over the years, in me and in the world around me. When I was born, Dwight Eisenhower was President. Many more have come and gone, some good, some bad. Communication has gone from rotary phones with party lines to Dick Tracy style wrist watches with video calling. Back then, a zoom meeting meant driving fast across town to a particular location. Wars used to be fought in person, now they are sometimes fought remotely.
Over the years, I have gone from being a rail thin youngster to a chubby middle age man to a slightly slimmer senior. I used to be athletic, now my knees ache when I get up in the morning. As a matter of fact, a good bit of my body aches in the morning. I have finally learned that when my mind tells me I can do something that I used to be able to do, I shouldn’t listen. My body always disagrees with my mind, and it is usually right. I have had the opportunity to continue my athletic career as a coach, and been able to coach some pretty good athletes, including my children. Because I coached, I also drove buses and have been able to turn that into in-between jobs, and finally into the job I have now.
I have learned a few things along the way. Some of them are important and some are good answers to trivia questions. I have learned that a great many of the things we think are vital are not, and some of the things we think are inconsequential are extremely important. Even though I still get upset more than I should, I have come to realize that there are really very few things in this life worth getting upset about. More and more, my philosophy is boiling down to, like Karl Barth, Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so, along with love God and others. I have found that holding those thngs closely makes things simpler and more complex. I do believe if more of those of us who call ourselves Christians would live in the realization that we are loved by God and are to love him and our neighbor, this world would be a much better place.
I am truly blest by the Father. He has given me a wonderful wife, two fantastic chidlren, and three of the best grandchildren in the world, with one more on the way. Jan and I are part of a beautiful community of fellow Jesus followers. I have been able to do things that I loved, both in work and play. I have seen some amazing things and met some amazing people. As the years have gone by, I have become more and more grateful for all my blessings and for all the lessons I have learned, even the hard ones.
None of us knows what the future holds. That is not in our hands. I am thankful that my loving Father has the future in his hands. I hope to spend many more years traveling the back roads of life trying to keep up with Jesus.
Musings
The last few weeks our community has been looking at the first six chapters of Genesis. We ‘re approaching the Bible as God’s story, and looking at God as he is revealed through each part of the story. What we have seen so far is a God who goes by different names – Elohim in some parts, and Yaweh in others. We’ve seen a God who feels, who cries out in anguish after Adam and Eve eat the fruit. A picture of God has emerged that is passionately in love with his creation, and seems to change somewhat after punishing those who disobey him.
As we have gone through this story so far, I have started to wonder about a few things. In my journey, I have gone from being certain about what Scripture teaches about God and his dealings with men to having questions, from holding a tight systematic theology to realizing that things just don’t fit into a nice neat package. Some who knew me back in the day would say that I have slipped into near heresy, at least. Others would say , “Well, he never was that good of a student anyway.” That’s fine. I can live with that.
Maybe the Calvinists and the Arminians are right. Maybe God is sovereign and in control, yet at the same time gives us free will. Maybe God is unchangeable and changing, responding to the different things his creatures do. Maybe God’s purpose for his creation will be fulfilled and people can hinder that purpose, at least to some degree. Maybe God is all-knowing and in some sense learning as he goes along.
There are a number of things that are seeming contradictions in God and how he deals with what he has created, yet somehow fit into his eternal purpose and nature. I’m not sure at this point in life that any of the systems we have come up with over the centuries have a handle on this whole idea of God. I’ve come to realize that God is far bigger and wilder than what we can even realize, that there is no box in the universe large enough to put God in. I don’t think God wants us to understand him or figure out everything about him. I think rather, that God wants us to know him, to have a relationship with him based on his love toward us and our love back to him. He wants us to experience him as a loving Father, not as a subject to be dissected and studied. Jan and I have been married for twenty nine years, and while I know her better than I did when we first met, I will never know everything about her. But, my love for Jan grows stronger every day as I spend time with her, rest in her love for me, and seek to serve her and love her. I believe that’s the kind of relationship the Father wants with us.
I am comfortable with the questions. I don’t have to be absolutely certain about everything. Actually, I’m looking forward to being in the Father’s presence and being amazed at how everything worked out.