Category: Wish-dreams

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Blast From the Past: Out of the Cave, Into…

This too was written eight years ago. Shortly afterward, God led us to a community of faith where we have been ever since.

Some of you have read my recent post about finding myself in a cave. I’m now out of the cave, although still not far from the entrance. I now find myself in the middle of a thicket, sort of like a stand of rhododendron or mountain laurel, so thick that you cannot see out of it. It is still somewhat dark, and the direction I should take is unclear. I see many paths out, but don’t know yet which one to take.

There is the path that would take me back into the church world I left a few years ago. Next to it is the path that would take me to the land of the mega-church. Here I could find a place to hide and lick my wounds. One path seems to go in circles, and looks as if it would leave me no better off. Yet another way out continues in the search for community. That is the path that interests me the most, and the way that I have learned most about in the last couple of days.

You see, I have learned something about community, and about myself. I think I’m beginning to learn why I spent time in the dark cave. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a pretty laid back individual, but that when I am passionate about something, I tend to go all out. As I learned more and more about the God’s desire for his children to live as brothers and sisters because of Christ, I became more and more passionate with living in community. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community.” As I look back on the past year, and my desire to have and fight for community, I realize I inadvertently pushed it too hard and may have been part of the cause of its destruction. I know that my heart was good, but I think I may have wanted community so badly that I didn’t see the problems that it was causing. Even though I tried to sacrificially love those around me, I think that I didn’t leave room for God to work, thinking that as long as we spent enough time together, growth and maturity would automatically happen.

I now realize that community is something that has to happen naturally, as God’s people learn to love one another. It is something that cannot be forced, and the Holy Spirit must be the one to form it rather than humans whose motives can be tainted by our own needs. I also realize that a particular form of community may not last as long as I think, and that I need to be willing to let it go when it is time. For those of you reading this who have been on the receiving end of my misguided efforts, I am sorry. I put the ideal of community ahead of my brothers and sisters. I was wrong.

As to what is next in this journey along the back roads, only God knows. I know that Jan and I still desire to share our lives with some fellow Christ-followers. I also know that it may not take any form that we expect. It may be in a regular gathering. It may take place in just getting together with one or two who share our desire. What I also know is that I want it to be something that happens as Christ’s Spirit moves, not when I think it should happen.

I’m learning to trust my Father. As I leave the thicket, I want to be hear my Shepherd’s voice and follow him wherever he leads, whenever he leads, and to whatever he leads. I would appreciate your prayers.

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Blast From the Past: The Cave

This was first published eight years ago when I was going through some things.

Papa! Papa! Where am I?

How did I get here? It’s so dark. I can’t see a thing!
I remember walking along the path with my friends. Next thing I know I’m waking up here in the dark. I think I remember the path passing near the entrance of a cave. Is that where I am?

How do you feel?

Everything hurts. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Now I remember. We were walking along when I was hit by something. Who would have done something like this?

An Enemy has done this.

Papa, it hurts so bad! I don’t understand! I’m all alone here in the darkness and I feel like everyone has abandoned me!

You are not alone. Your most trusted long time companion is near, waiting for you. I am here.

How did this happen? Everything seemed good. There was some loose rock on the path at times, and there were some places where part of the path had washed away. but I thought we had gotten past them. I thought this part of the journey was going well. I thought we were together.

Papa?

I’m broken. I feel like I can’t move. I’m afraid to try because I can’t see and I don’t know if it’s safe. I don’t know what to do!

Do you remember the time you spent in the desert learning to trust me rather than what you expected me to do?

Yes, I do. That was hard.

You still have more to learn.

Does it have to be so painful? I’d rather lose a job again than feel so hurt and rejected!

Papa, what do I do?

Stay here for awhile. Don’t move. I know it’s dark and you’re scared, but I’m here with you. You are broken, but my love will heal you. You are safe here. Learn again to trust me. No matter what.

When the time comes, I will lead you out of this place, and you and the person who truly loves you will continue on in your journey with me.

Papa, help me! I have no strength.

I know. I am your strength. I love you, son.

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The Problem With Community

Community is a wonderful thing. It is how we make disciples and how we grow in the Christian life. But, there is a problem that happens when followers of Jesus come together to live in community. The problem is that there are not that many people who really want to be in community as Scripture presents it.

Most of us have an idealized picture of what Christian community is. We see it as an idyllic place where we are loved and accepted completely and there are never any disagreements, at least any that may lead to someone being hurt. We may see community as simply a group of friends, while the real work of the church gets done on Sunday. We have what Bonhoeffer called “wish dreams,” utopian visions of community. These wish dreams are extremely dangerous, and can eventually kill the community. These idealized pictures cause us to try to center community around something other than Christ and to attempt to keep it going by the sheer force of our wills. I can attest, from personal experience that centering community around anything other than Jesus and what he has done for us will cause the community to crash and burn, with the resultant “loss of life.”

Community is messy. I may misunderstand you or disappoint you. I may offend you or hurt you deeply. You may do the same to me. We will disagree on things. Sometimes those disagreements may be heated. None of us are perfect. Anyone who knows me knows how true that is. Sometimes though, we forget that and are ready to run at the first sign of conflict or the first hurt feeling. Some will say, “That person yelled at me and totally misunderstood me. I’m leaving.” Or, ” He wounded me deeply. I can’t be a part of this anymore.” While there may be times to leave a group if things are bad, many times the leavers have had their picture of community shattered and don’t want to deal with the messiness of trying to work things out. Maybe hard things need to be said or heard. That is part of living as the family of God.

Others will say, “I’m just not being fed. I need a good preacher to feed me.” Good preaching is a part of our growth in Christ, but it is only a part. I would argue, and I think Scripture would bear this out, that the intimate gatherings of God’s children, whether in Missional communities, small groups, or one to one, do more to facilitate spiritual formation than even the best preaching or teaching. It is in the interaction we have with our brothers and sisters on a daily or at least regular basis that shape us. It is in those times that we learn how to follow Jesus in our day-to-day. As we spend time together, we see how others respond in certain situations. The times of disagreement and the times we mess up should be the best times to learn how to love as Jesus loved us and how to extend the same grace we have been given. The troubling times should be the times that actually form us more into Christ’s image and draw us closer to one another.

To do that though, requires us to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. We don’t like to do that because we may have tried and been ground under the heel of someone we trusted. It’s hard. I’ve felt like I had my heart torn out and stomped on. Add that to the fact that we are basically selfish and living in community looks pretty hard, even impossible. That’s why it has to be centered in the gospel. We are called to be people who repent, who forgive, who seek reconciliation, and who willingly lay down our lives for others. We can only do that if the Spirit has formed our community and gives us the power to live as a spiritual family.

It hurts when people leave. May our communities truly be places where the gospel is lived out and where God’s kingdom comes.

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The Cave

Papa! Papa! Where am I?

How did I get here? It’s so dark. I can’t see a thing!
I remember walking along the path with my friends. Next thing I know I’m waking up here in the dark. I think I remember the path passing near the entrance of a cave. Is that where I am?

How do you feel?

Everything hurts. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Now I remember. We were walking along when I was hit by something. Who would have done something like this?

An Enemy has done this.

Papa, it hurts so bad! I don’t understand! I’m all alone here in the darkness and I feel like everyone has abandoned me!

You are not alone. Your most trusted long time companion is near, waiting for you. I am here.

How did this happen? Everything seemed good. There was some loose rock on the path at times, and there were some places where part of the path had washed away. but I thought we had gotten past them. I thought this part of the journey was going well. I thought we were together.

Papa?

I’m broken. I feel like I can’t move. I’m afraid to try because I can’t see and I don’t know if it’s safe. I don’t know what to do!

Do you remember the time you spent in the desert learning to trust me rather than what you expected me to do?

Yes, I do. That was hard.

You still have more to learn.

Does it have to be so painful? I’d rather lose a job again than feel so hurt and rejected!

Papa, what do I do?

Stay here for awhile. Don’t move. I know it’s dark and you’re scared, but I’m here with you. You are broken, but my love will heal you. You are safe here. Learn again to trust me. No matter what.

When the time comes, I will lead you out of this place, and you and the person who truly loves you will continue on in your journey with me.

Papa, help me! I have no strength.

I know. I am your strength. I love you, son.

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Community and Unity

Yesterday, I wrote about wish-dreams and how we need to let them die and be open to the dream that God has for us. Many times in churches those wish-dreams revolve around building community and unity within the church.

Community is seen as something that can be created. Things such as home groups, Sunday School classes, separate men’s and women’s groups, and youth groups are put in place in an attempt to bring about community. Usually these groups are based on something that the members already have in common, such as age, gender, or location. Sometimes they are formed around certain subjects. Some churches simply rely on their members attendance at every service or event.

Unity is usually centered around agreement on certain doctrines or practices. In the circles in which I grew up, those who were trying to foster unity among the various Christian denominations were seen as soft on doctrine, or even as heretics. According to this view, heaven would be a sparsely populated place, or if others did make it, they would be far from the throne.

As a church leader trying to bring about change in a congregation, I fell into the trap of thinking that community could be created by having a more laid back, contemporary style of worship with comfortable furniture, and small groups through the week. Unity would come about when everyone came to see that a more up to date, “relevant” way of worshiping and presenting the Gospel was the way to go. As I began to question some of the things I had been taught, I even thought unity would happen when we all felt free to question. I’ve come to believe that all of those ways of seeing community and unity are wrong.

I think community is something that can not be created by us. We can spend time with people, serve with them, worship together, but community happens as the Spirit pulls us closer to each other and, as a group, closer to God. Community can come about in groups that are combinations of age, gender, etc. Our differences contribute to community, rather than detract from it. Unity is also something that can not be created. If it comes about through human effort, there will eventually be some doctrine or practice that will drive a wedge into a church.

I think Bonhoeffer was right when he said that that our unity is in and through Jesus Christ. The same thing could be said for community. It is not in agreement on doctrine, practice, politics, or any thing else. Unity based on those things can quickly disappear. If our community and unity is in and because of Christ, we can disagree with others about politics, ways of doing things, and areas where Scripture is interpreted differently. If we have the most important thing in common – Jesus, then we are unified. We are not told in Scripture to unify. We are told to make every effort to keep the unity that we have. We can destroy that unity by getting our focus on our own desires and ideas, or our wish-dreams. We must keep our focus on Jesus, and on his command to us to love others as he has loved us. The one sign that Jesus said would show that we belong to him is loving each other.

Let us strive to keep the unity we have been given by loving each other and focusing on Jesus.

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Wish-Dreams

Last Sunday, the discussion centered around the death of “wish-dreams.” Wish-dreams are those things that we want to happen, and we all have them. We can have them in any area of our lives. A man can marry a woman and believe that she is going to meet his every need and be the perfect wife. A woman can believe that the man she marries will be her knight in shining armor and make everything right. Parents have wish-dreams for their children. You can see this by looking at the adults at any sporting event their child is a part of. Leaders and members of churches also have certain things that they expect to see in those churches. These are their wish-dreams.

The problem with wish-dreams is that they usually do not come true. Often they crash and burn with disastrous results. Marriages break up when a spouse doesn’t match the ideal and one partner cannot change the other. Young athletes burn out because of the pressure put on them by parents trying to live vicariously through their children. People bounce from church to church trying to find that ideal congregation that will be heaven on earth.

Wish-dreams die. Sometimes God kills them. We can either continue to pursue them and become disillusioned and bitter, or we can give them up and allow the Father to take us where he wants us. I have been through the process of watching dreams crumble and die. While painful, it is a necessary part of our growth as followers of Jesus. As we give up our dreams, God can replace them with his dreams for us.

I was originally going to write about the relationship between wish-dreams and unity, but I’ll give your eyes a rest by continuing this tomorrow. (Plus, I’ve always wanted to post a “series”) 🙂