Category: community

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We All Need Abishai

Many of us who grew up in the church have become disillusioned with the stuff that has been piled on the gospel of Jesus. Some of us have been hurt by others, others have left when the questions they had were dismissed as irrelevant or evil. Some became fed up with the organization and institution that had replaced simple gatherings of God’s people. Many of us were looking for a community of faith where we could be devoted to Jesus and other believers.

Some have found a home in liturgical churches, while some have formed “organic” churches. Others continue to wander in the post-church wilderness. I was one of those for a while earlier this year. I was burnt out on the whole idea of church, and was hoping that I would find community with other followers of Jesus somewhere, somehow. I didn’t know what form that community would take, and I was open to just about anything. Except church. I just wasn’t ready to go back.

As it turns out, God led us to a community of faith in what some would call a traditional church. In the last few months, the Father has taught me a number of things. One of those things is that I need to spend time with others who love me, pray for me, challenge me, and allow me to do the same. I’ve also seen that I need this more than just an hour or two once a week. I need folks with whom I can share life. Jeff Dunn, over at  internetmonk, has written a post that does a very good job of explaining how those of us who have gone back into church-world feel.

In the post, Dunn writes of the time David was about to be killed by a giant by the name of Ishbi-Benob. David was older and was exhausted by the battle. This was a giant that David was not able to slay. Think about it. The mighty warrior-king of Israel, the slayer of ten thousands, was not strong enough at this time in his life. Fortunately, one of David’s men, Abishai came to the rescue and killed the giant. David had to depend on another to save his life. I’m sure this was humbling for David. I know it would be for me.

Like Jeff Dunn, Jan and I gather with this church because there is first of all a love for Jesus that is evident. The other reason is the community that we have with the people. We have felt loved and accepted from the first day we visited. We gather together on Sunday, and at various times throughout the week. We realize that our relationships will get messy and difficult from time to time, but we hope in the Gospel to bring us through the mess and into deeper relationships. We need folks around us who can be Abishai to us, and to whom we can be the same. There are things I disagree with, but to me, the essentials are there.

If you are one of those who is still wandering, search for those who can be Abishai to you, whether it’s in a “traditional” church, or just a group that shares life in Jesus together.

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Taken, Blessed, Broken, Given Part 3

This is part three of a four part series.

As we are able to claim our blessedness, we can then, “face our own and others’ brokenness with open eyes.” Henri Nouwen ends his chapter on blessedness with these words. The next chapter is on the third word that Nouwen found useful in identifying the movements of the Spirit in our lives. That word is broken.

“Broken” is a term that most of us in the church don’t like to hear or think about. We do love hearing about the “broken body of Christ,” because it speaks to us of what Jesus did for us on the cross. We love to hear about the power of sin being broken, even though we sometimes live as if we were still under its sway. What we don’t like to think about is the idea that we have been, are, and will be broken. But, it is true.

We live in a broken world. All anyone needs to do is look around them or watch the evening news. The creation is broken. It is being restored, but it is still broken. Take a look at the folks around us. They are broken people, and much of the heartache and misery in the world is caused by broken people breaking other people. No one escapes being broken. Nouwen puts it this way,

“Instinctively we know that the joy of life comes from the ways in which we live together and that the pain of life comes from the many ways we fail to do that well.”  

I think Nouwen is correct when he states that, just as we claim our chosenness and blessedness, we must claim our brokenness. We must own up the fact that we have been hurt in the past, may be hurt in the present, and will be hurt in the future. That’s part of the job description. After owning up to our brokenness, we then can respond to it. We do that in two ways, by befriending it and by bringing it under the  blessing.

Our first response to our brokenness is to befriend it. That seems counterintuitive to us. Our first, and sometimes only response is usually to run away, to avoid that which is causing us pain and convince ourselves that if we ignore it it will go away. The problem with that approach is that it doesn’t bring healing. I believe that our tendency to run from pain is a contributing factor to some of the mental health problems in society, and to many, if not most of our relationship problems. We are afraid of pain, of heartbreak, of suffering. If we do find the courage to embrace our pain we then find that we have started down the road of healing. Nouwen writes,

“The deep truth is that our human suffering need not be an obstacle to the joy and peace we so desire, but can become, instead, the means to it.”

Everything in our lives, good or bad, joyful or painful, can be part of the path we take to being fully human. This is a hard concept to grasp. We can easily see how the good in our lives brings us to glory, but it’s another thing entirely to see our suffering in the same light.

The second response to suffering is to put it under the blessing. Like the first century disciples who asked Jesus if the man’s blindness was a result of his sin or his parents’, we usually look at suffering as an indication that we’re bad people. There are many voices out there that tell us that if we just do things the right way, or  if we are really God’s child, then we won’t have to suffer. I wonder what the apostle Paul, or the Christians being martyred for their faith today would say to that. Suffering does not necessarily mean that we are bad people. It does not mean that the negative voices in our lives are right. We must listen the voice that calls us beloved children, the voice of our Father. Our brokenness does not cause God to love us any less, it does not cause him to see us in a negative light.

As we live in our blessedness and take our brokenness there and put it in the proper perspective, we find that the burden becomes lighter and the way becomes clearer. We can then see the suffering as a means of  purifying us. Ask a grape vine if pruning is something it enjoys. If the vine could feel and talk, it would tell you that pruning is painful. I mean, how would you like to have a limb hacked off? The vine would also tell you that the suffering of pruning is worth it because it produces the abundant harvest of grapes that allows us to share wine with our friends. Sometimes there are things in our lives that need to be pruned away. While it is a painful process, it is also an indication that our Abba loves us, and is forming us into the people he wants us to be.

As the bread in the Communion, we are taken in order to be blessed. We are blessed so that we can be broken. As the bread cannot be distributed unless it is broken, so with us. We are broken so that we might be given.

Part 1
Part 2

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Taken, Blessed, Broken, Given Part 2

This is the second post in a four part series. Part 1 is here.

In Life of the Beloved, Henri Nouwen writes of four words that helped him identify the movements of the Spirit in his life. In the first post I looked at the idea that we are taken by the Father. Today, we’ll look at the concept of being blessed.

As those who are beloved of the Father and chosen by him, we are blessed. We are not only blessed in the sense of having our sins forgiven and being at peace with God, but we are also blessed in the sense that God says good, true things about us. Our Father tells us that we are his beloved children, that we are adopted into his family and have all the benefits of heirs. We are in Christ, therefore we are co-heirs with Jesus. God tells us that he will always take care of us, that we can trust him to do nothing but good. While that good may not look wonderful to our eyes, we can know that it is truly good.

In a world that is full of curses and lies, we need to hear the truth that we are blessed. First, we need to hear from our Father. We do this by prayer. Not just talking to God, but also listening to him. It is hard to tune out the noise of the world around us and the lies whispered to us by our Enemy. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish between the voice of the thief who can disguise himself as an angel of light, and the true Shepherd who gave his life that we might live life to the full. Being still and learning to hear the Shepherd’s voice is vital in our walk with him. Whether it’s a few minutes here and there, an hour or a day, we need to carve out time where we simply are still so we can know that he is God.

Another way we can hear the blessing from the Father is to cultivate presence. We normally go through our day-to-day with tunnel vision and miss the many blessings Abba brings our way. Some of those come directly from heaven, some come through other people. When we realize those blessings, we need to receive them and show gratitude. Sometimes receiving blessing from another is humbling. It forces us to recognize that we really do need each other. Unfortunately, this is as true in the church as in the outside world. We want to appear strong and able, so we tend to pooh pooh times that someone has met our needs and forget that we have been truly blessed. Many times, the simple presence of someone in our lives is a blessing that we miss.

Through these two ways we recognize and claim our blessedness. We are not blessed just for our sake though. The Father blesses us so that we will bless others. Claiming our blessing will give us a desire to bless those we come in contact with each day, from the brother or sister who needs help, to the cashier at the grocery store who is tired at the end of the shift. In a world that is full of curses and lies, people hunger for blessing whether we realize it or not. Jesus commanded us to love others as he loved us. As we are forgiven, we are to forgive. As we are shown grace, we are to show grace. As we are blessed, we are to bless.

We can only bless others as we tune out the noise of the darkness and listen to the voice of our Father and claim our blessedness. Then, as Nouwen states,

“…we can face our own and others’ brokenness with open eyes.”

That’s a topic for another time.

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Taken, Blessed, Broken, Given

At the camp I drive for during the summer, we hold a weekly study for the staff. This summer we are looking at Life of the Beloved, by Henri Nouwen. In this book, Nouwen writes about four words that have helped him identify the movements of the Spirit in his life. Nouwen’s idea is that as followers of Jesus we are bread for the world, therefore we are taken, blessed, broken, and given, as the bread during communion. As I read the explanation of these words, I am finding them helpful in my own walk. In this four part series, I am going to share some of  my thoughts.

The first word is taken. You could substitute the word “chosen.” We are chosen by God to be his beloved children. He has become our Father, and he is pleased with his children. As Nouwen states:

“Our preciousness, uniqueness, and individuality are not given to us by those who meet us 
in clock-time — our brief chronological existence — but by the One who has chosen us
with an everlasting love, a love that existed from all eternity and will last through all eternity.”

Unfortunately, we live in a world that tells us that we are nothing, that there is nothing special about us. Those voices bombard us constantly, from advertisements that tell us we must have the latest (fill in the blank) in order to be happy and fulfilled, to preachers who tell us how far short we fall and how much harder we need to work. Those voices do not come from our Father. They come from our Enemy who seeks to steal our joy, kill our spirits, and destroy our lives.

Nouwen gives three ways we can stay in touch with our chosenness. The first is to keep unmasking the world around us for what it is. The world is full of manipulation and destruction. It’s prevailing wisdom is to step on anyone and everyone in the climb up the ladder. When we feel hurt or rejected, we should recognize those feelings, but also recognize that they are not the truth about ourselves. The truth is that the Father loves us with an everlasting love, and has chosen us to be his children.

The second way is to look for people and places where our chosenness is affirmed. These people and places will not be perfect, but as Nouwen writes,

“The limited, sometimes broken, love of those who share our humanity can often point us to the truth of who we are: precious in God’s eyes.” 


We need each other, and we need to affirm in each other the precious, beloved children that we are.

The third way is to celebrate our chosenness constantly. We are to be grateful to the Father for choosing us, and grateful to those who remind us of our chosenness. We need to be careful, because occasions for gratitude can also be occasions for cynicism, for questioning motives, even for bitterness. We must guard against this and consciously choose to be grateful.

 Rather than making us feel superior or more favored, claiming our chosenness will give us a great desire to help others recognize and claim their chosenness, their place as a beloved child of the Father. This is another reason we need to be in community with our brothers and sisters in Christ. We can build up and encourage one another as we gather together as God’s chosen, beloved children.

One final thought from Nouwen:

” It is only when we have claimed our own place in God’s love that we can experience this all-embracing, noncomparing love and feel safe, not only with God, but also with all our brothers and sisters.” 

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Wednesday Night Church

Last night was what you could call a movable church feast. First, a group of us met at a home for dinner, as is our usual practice. What made this night different was that after dinner we headed downtown to help a local restaurant owner clean her new place so she could open next week. We spent about ninety minutes cleaning, fixing some furniture, moving things, etc.

After we finished, some of us traveled down the street to a local pub where we continued to fellowship  over food and pints. It was a good couple of hours hanging out, talking about theology, philosophy, and what was going on in our lives. I had a bit of a hard time waking up at an early hour this morning, but it was definitely worth it. 🙂

Along with learning that the Church can be found even within the church, I am learning more and more that just hanging out with brothers and sisters in Christ is gathering with the church, no matter what is going on. Sometimes just rubbing shoulders with other followers of Jesus builds us up and forms us into Christ’s image. Children learn a great deal from watching parents, grandparents, and other family members. As the saying goes, more is caught than taught. So it is in the family of God. As we spend time with each other, sharing our lives, we pick up things that build us up and help us follow Jesus, even when we may not realize it. Discipleship is by example much more than by formal teaching.

I would encourage you to seek out believers that you can spend time with, sharing your lives and getting to see how they follow Christ. Don’t limit “church” to just studying the Bible or being taught.

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My Week

The past seven days have been pretty busy. There were the usual work related goings-on, family happenings, etc. There were more significant things that happened as well. One of the events was life changing, and the other was different.

Our son was married this past weekend. We held the rehearsal and dinner at the local camp where we work. There was barbecue, baked beans, cole slaw, and cobbler. It was a busy day, setting up and taking down, driving to pick up the meat, and cooking. Everyone had a good time. The wedding was Sunday. Josh and Alicia were married in the evening in an old dairy barn that has been converted into a venue for different events. Jan and I went there to help decorate in the afternoon, and back for the ceremony. It was a beautiful time. The food at the reception was delicious, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

We spent Monday recovering and visiting with relatives who came in for the wedding. Tuesday found me home with a bad head cold. Wednesday morning, I received a phone call from the pastor of the church we have been gathering with, telling me that a young woman in the church had passed away that morning. The church was going to gather that night to share a meal, to sing some hymns, to share memories, and to pray and encourage one another. It was an interesting experience, because I had never been part of a church gathering for that purpose. I’d been to funerals, taken dinner to grieving families, and stood around and talked at viewings. This was the first time I had been at a gathering of a church like that. It was…well, it was like a family gathering. It was like the brothers and sisters, uncles and cousins, had gathered to comfort each other and pay their respects to their departed loved one. As I thought about it later, it hit me. This is what church is supposed to be. We are family! We have the same Father, the same older Brother. We are brothers and sisters. So why wouldn’t we gather as a family when something like this happens? So many Christians say that they are family with other Christians, but the reality is far different (maybe it’s because there are so many dysfunctional examples out there).

The gathering Wednesday night was family. The gathering I had with a brother in Christ at a local pub the next night was also family. We met for dinner and a couple of pints, and spent the next few hours sharing our lives and encouraging each other. Again, that’s what family does. That’s what church is. It doesn’t have to be in a particular building, at a particular time, on a particular day. It is wherever and whenever the children of God get together to encourage each other and share the Father’s love.

I think we may have found our family.

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Bend in the Road

I’m sorry there was no Weekend Wanderings post this weekend. Jan and I were volunteering at a music festival put on by a local camp and were very busy Friday night and all day Saturday. Sunday was a full day as well, so I ran out of time. Next time.

From time to time, I like to let all my loyal readers (or maybe that’s reader) know what’s going on in my journey. Some of you know that I have had issues with the institutional church. I grew up in fundamentalism, earned a Bible college degree, and taught for years in Christian schools. I have seen the operation of churches as a member of the congregation, a very part time youth director, a worship leader, a deacon, and an elder. I have taught Sunday School, preached in the pulpit, and performed special music.

About two and a half years ago, we walked away from the institution. I helped a friend begin a “simple” church that met in a bagel shop. At first, things were great. We were building community and beginning to learn how  to disciple and love one another. By the end of the second year, that community had ceased to exist. Some of the folks went back to church, some left completely, and some of us began to meet in another bagel shop. Again, things seemed to be going well. After about four months, without warning, things fell apart. Again, some went back to church, and some just walked away.

Due to the circumstances surrounding the end of this second community, I was devastated. Jan was also hurt, and we both had a hard time for a while. We couldn’t figure out what had happened, and had no clue what God wanted us to do. After a lot of prayer, we felt the Father was telling us to rest, not to do anything but rest. There was still one individual who wanted to continue meeting with us, so we have been meeting in our dining room on Sunday mornings for the last four months. It has been good to meet with this person and do a chronological study of the life and teachings of Jesus, with the goal of being transformed by what we learn.

Four weeks ago, I felt the Father was telling us that it was time to be going. We had learned about a new church from our son, Josh and his fiancee, Alicia. The church meets on Sunday evening, so we were able to continue what we were doing in the morning. We checked it out, and decide we liked it. The group meets for a meal before the service, and celebrates Communion every Sunday. Those are two things that I have come to believe are essential in the life of a church. The music is good, and it’s not a show where the congregation does more watching than anything else. The mission of the church is to be a community that helps each other follow Jesus, and to reach out for the betterment of our city. Two more things I see as essential.

There are a couple of things that are not quite what I believe a local assembly of the church should be. Each Sunday there is a sermon, and the church is part of a denomination. I believe a participatory meeting is better for making disciples, and I also believe that a lot of denominational policies are extra-Biblical and can distract a church from its mission. I also have come to believe, however, that although I am not a fan of institutional church, the Church can be found anywhere God’s people gather, even in church.

So, we have taken a step toward what we think may be where God wants us to be. If we have found a community that is focused on Jesus, on helping each other to follow him, and on being a blessing to our city; if we have found Church within a church, then we will probably stay awhile.

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Lessons Learned From a Cat

Keith Giles at subversive1 has a guest post written by his wife Wendy titled Lessons Learned from Tiger. The post is about their cat Tiger, and the lessons she learned from caring for him after he was injured in a fight. I think the lessons she learned are lessons that we all can take to heart in our lives, especially in our relationships with others and with God. God spoke to me through these lessons. Maybe there is something here for you as well.

  • Feeling trapped can make you destructive.
  • Sometimes help can look a lot like punishment.
  • We can mistake family for strangers because of smell/appearance.
  • It’s hard to eat and drink on your own when you’re wearing the “cone of shame.”
  • That’s when you step in and feed them by hand.
  • Medicine that’s hidden in food goes down more easily.
  • The treatment against infection is sometimes painful.
  • The one stuck outside wants desperately to be inside. The one inside desperately wants to be outside.
  • We can’t always see the big picture.
  • Two weeks seems like an eternity.
  • It’s awful to not be able to scratch your own itch, and such a relief when someone comes to help.
  • It’s easier when you don’t fight it.
  • Wounds require a great deal of care to heal properly.
  • Fighting can be quite costly and painful.

She goes on to list four more lessons that she found “much more touching and beautiful.”

  • God didn’t set a limit on how much He was willing to pay for my sake.
  • He understand the groaning of my heart which are much too deep for words.
  • He is patient and attentive to detail in caring for my needs which continue throughout my life, and not just two weeks.
  • He is compassionate even when I am frustrating.
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Who Do You Love?

I heard a couple of things recently that made me think. I know that can be dangerous, and it sometimes gets me in trouble, but I thought anyway. The first was a statement by an individual that he wasn’t indebted to anyone. The second was a Facebook post to the effect that if you want a world where true love is possible, you must allow each person to freely choose who to love. While I can understand the sentiment behind both statements, I believe that they are anti-thetical to the way a follower of Jesus should see things.

The statement about not being in debt to anyone is directly contradicted by Paul’s admonition in Romans 13:8 to owe nothing to anyone except love. Alan Knox has a good post on this here. As those who are loved by the Father and indwelt by his Spirit, we do have one debt. We owe love to our fellow believers, our brothers and sisters.

In Alan’s post, he states that, “I can’t choose who to love.” That leads me to the second statement. As followers of the one who gave his life for us, we have only one choice, to love. Anything else is disobedience to our Master. In John 15, Jesus tells us that his command is to love each other as he has loved us. Since our Savior’s love led him to lay down his life for us, we are to do the same for our brothers and sisters. Doesn’t sound like freely choosing who to love, does it? Jesus also states that the second greatest commandment is to love our neighbor. He then goes on to state that our neighbor is anyone who we come in contact with. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus takes the whole idea of love to the extreme when he tells us to even love our enemies! Sounds to me like he leaves us with no choice. In John 13:35, Jesus says that the world will know that we belong to him because of our love.

There is entirely too much pain and suffering in this world, much of it caused by a lack of love. Unfortunately, this is also true among those who claim to follow the King who founded his kingdom on sacrificial love. Those who are not followers of Jesus know that we are supposed to be different. Many of them also know that the main thing that is supposed to distinguish us is love. Is it any wonder they look at the church and feel that we have nothing to offer them?

Brothers and sisters, we have a debt. It is to love. We have no choice. We are to love everyone who crosses our path. Anything else is blatant disobedience to our Lord and Master.

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Out of the Cave, Into the…

Some of you have read my recent post about finding myself in a cave. I’m now out of the cave, although still not far from the entrance. I now find myself in the middle of a thicket, sort of like a stand of rhododendron or mountain laurel, so thick that you cannot see out of it. It is still somewhat dark, and the direction I should take is unclear. I see many paths out, but don’t know yet which one to take.

There is the path that would take me back into the church world I left a few years ago. Next to it is the path that would take me to the land of the mega-church. Here I could find a place to hide and lick my wounds. One path seems to go in circles, and looks as if it would leave me no better off. Yet another way out continues in the search for community. That is the path that interests me the most, and the way that I have learned most about in the last couple of days.

You see, I have learned something about community, and about myself. I think I’m beginning to learn why I spent time in the dark cave. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a pretty laid back individual, but that when I am passionate about something, I tend to go all out. As I learned more and more about the God’s desire for his children to live as brothers and sisters because of Christ, I became more and more passionate with living in community. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community.” As I look back on the past year, and my desire to have and fight for community, I realize I inadvertently pushed it too hard and may have been part of the cause of its destruction. I know that my heart was good, but I think I may have wanted community so badly that I didn’t see the problems that it was causing. Even though I tried to sacrificially love those around me, I think that I didn’t leave room for God to work, thinking that as long as we spent enough time together, growth and maturity would automatically happen.

I now realize that community is something that has to happen naturally, as God’s people learn to love one another. It is something that cannot be forced, and the Holy Spirit must be the one to form it rather than humans whose motives can be tainted by our own needs. I also realize that a particular form of community may not last as long as I think, and that I need to be willing to let it go when it is time. For those of you reading this who have been on the receiving end of my misguided efforts, I am sorry. I put the ideal of community ahead of my brothers and sisters. I was wrong.

As to what is next in this journey along the back roads, only God knows. I know that Jan and I still desire to share our lives with some fellow Christ-followers. I also know that it may not take any form that we expect. It may be in a regular gathering. It may take place in just getting together with one or two who share our desire. What I also know is that I want it to be something that happens as Christ’s Spirit moves, not when I think it should happen.

I’m learning to trust my Father. As I leave the thicket, I want to be hear my Shepherd’s voice and follow him wherever he leads, whenever he leads, and to whatever he leads. I would appreciate your prayers.