Category: community

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Church as Family

This past Sunday in our gathering, we were talking about gathering together as a church, and what it means to be a church. One of the points that was made was that we aren’t the church because we gather together, but that we gather together because we are the church, and we gather together as the church because we are family. We are children of our heavenly Father, therefore we are brothers and sisters. As Sister Sledge sang back in the day, we are family.

Now the term family conjures up different pictures for different people, some good and some bad. For me, regardless of the picture presented in many TV shows, the idea of church as family means several things. First, it means that we carry the same spiritual DNA. We have the Spirit of God within us, and we are God’s children. We are one because we have the same Father. The second thing family means is loyalty. The saying “blood is thicker than water” can be applicable here. People will do almost anything for those in their family, sometimes going to outrageous lengths. As I was growing up, my sister and I would tease each other and get into arguments from time to time, but woe to anyone outside our family who would try to hurt the other. Jan and I have also stressed that attitude of loyalty with Josh and Jennie.

Another aspect of family is the idea that certain responsibilities come with being a family member. Certain things are expected simply because of who you are. Of course, we all fail at different times, so one of those responsibilities is forgiving and restoring the erring family member. That is sometimes hard to do, but we do it because we are family. A fourth thing that family means is a willingness to give help when it is needed, and to receive help when we need it. This a two-sided coin. On the one hand we are ready to give to family when it is necessary. The flip side of that is being willing to ask for help. It’s easy sometimes to help others, but it can be a difficult thing to ask for help. Difficult, but necessary.

The final and most important thing I see in family is love. Love makes all the other things possible, and it is because of God’s love that we are family. Love can be difficult, even in families. Love opens us up and leaves us vulnerable, and sometimes family members hurt us. Sometimes we may be very good at extending love to others, but have a hard time receiving it from others. Both are needed in a family. Love, given and received, is the oil that makes a family run smoothly.

May God help us to be fully functional family.

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Sad Cafe

A few years ago the Eagles sang a song titled “The Sad Cafe”. Here are some of the lyrics:

It seemed like a holy place,

protected by amazing grace.

We would sing right out loud

the things we could not say.

We thought we could change the world,

with words like love and freedom.

Part of the lonely crowd inside the Sad Cafe.

I think this is a good picture of what the church should be. A holy place, protected by God’s amazing grace. A place where people are free to share their needs and struggles without fear of condemnation. A place where the people go out to change the world with the love of Christ and the freedom that is found in Him. A place where the lonely can come and find community.What would this world be if the church was really the place it should be.

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Another Lesson Learned

This morning, after our gathering, we were waiting for some food to be delivered. I was on the front porch of the house talking with a friend. Partway through the conversation the food that we were waiting for arrived, and help was needed to carry it into the house. Without thinking, I immediately left in the middle of the conversation to help. There were others there who could have helped, so it wasn’t like it was absolutely necessary for me to get involved. A bit later I thought about that and realized that I had abandoned my friend right in the middle of our conversation, and I wondered why I did that.

Part of it could be that I’m not a great conversationalist, so it was more comfortable for me to help out in a way that didn’t require talking. That’s something I need to continue working on, although I am better than I was. Part of it could be that I feel like I have a reputation as a servant to uphold. That is one of my gifts, and I do feel more comfortable behind the scenes than out front, so of course I don’t want people to think I’m being lazy. Regardless of the reason, I should have stayed on the porch and not abandoned my friend.

I think that a bigger reason is something that most of us deal with in our walk with Jesus, and that is the tendency to feel that we have to do something all the time rather than just be in the moment. I know that I sometimes will let things to do draw me away from spending time with the Father or with my brothers and sisters. A lot of evangelicalism, especially the fundamentalist branch, is built on “doing something for God.” Great churches are built on the efforts of the leaders and members. Christians are made to feel guilty if they aren’t involved in one of the programs of their church. Pastors burn out because they feel that it’s their job to build a great work. In the midst of all this busyness, churches find that their members are not being discipled and are not growing in their walk with God.

The thing is, many of the programs and things that we try to do for God can be done without the Holy Spirit. Huge, “successful” churches and ministries can be built completely on human effort. Some of those come tumbling down, some get even bigger, but they really don’t have much impact for the Kingdom. We bemoan the fact that people aren’t knocking down the doors of our churches, and young people are leaving as soon as they are able. I think one reason is that we have presented a gospel that claims to be all about grace and a relationship with God, but is really about working. Not for salvation, but to please God.

God invites us into relationship with him. He tells us to be still and know that he is God. God is our Father, not our employer. It is true that we serve God and others. It is true that there are things that each one of us is called to do. But, do we do them in our own strength or in the power of the Spirit coming from just being in a close relationship with the Father? It is out of that relationship that we walk in God’s love through our day-to-day. It is in that relationship that we learn the Father’s heart and find out where he is working so that we can join in. The closer we draw to our Father, the more sensitive we will be to his agenda, and the more we may realize that we need to let our agenda go. Our efforts will be to join God’s work rather than trying to get him to bless ours.

Joining in God’s work might just mean that we continue a conversation on the front porch and let someone else help with the other stuff.

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Lessons Learned During Recovery 2

I am not going to write about how I’m such a humble person. Only Moses could get away with that. Beside the fact that I’m nowhere near being in Moses’ league, I also know how much I struggle with pride. I’m probably like most red-blooded American men in that regard. I like being the one to give help, but I’m fine doing things without it, thank you very much. I also feel uncomfortable with what I see as “putting people out.”

Hernia surgery changed that. When I awakened back in the room, I was a pretty helpless individual. When I had to get up to go to the restroom, I needed help to sit up. I also could not stand or walk without Jan holding one of my arms to steady me. As we left the next day, I needed assistance to get into, and out of the truck.

That first week of recovery was on of almost total dependence on others. Someone else went outside to get the paper. Someone else fed the dog. Someone else took care of things that I normally take care of. Along with that, I required help doing such simple tasks as washing and drying my feet, and putting on socks. Believe me, for someone who likes to be able to do it myself, it was hard, even though I knew that I needed that help.

The culmination came when we went to our church’s Sunday gathering. As we shuffled into the room, one of the young men and his girlfriend were asked to give up their spots on the couch for me. Not by me, you understand. Remember, I’m too proud to ask anyone to do that. 🙂 While I appreciate their willingness to let me sit there, I felt bad about it. I went back to work full day on Tuesday (forgetting the lesson about patience), and began to drag a chair to my morning duty spot. The teacher who does that duty with me asked if he could get that for me. I seriously thought about telling him that I was good, that I could get it. But I didn’t. I let him carry it.

I think one of the problems with the Church here in the United States is our individualistic mindset. We have bought into the American ideal of the tough, independent loner, who doesn’t need any help. Over the years, the idea has developed that salvation is strictly an individual, personal thing. Along with the fear of being judged if we drop our masks and admit our need, those things have produced a Church that is disjointed and week. This is a far cry from the picture we find in the New Testament of the Church as a body.

The past two weeks have taught me how important each part is in the function of the physical body. In the church, we also need each part. Everyone is important to the function of the body.
I’ve also learned that it’s okay to ask for help, that no one is going to think any less of me if I can’t do certain things by myself (at least no one who matters). It’s not an easy lesson to learn, and I’ll probably have to be reminded more than a few times.

We need each other. Jesus said that the world will know that we are his disciples by our love for each other. It is hard for that love to happen if we continue to try and convince ourselves, and others, that we can go it alone. Let us consider how we can meet the needs of those around us, as well as let our own needs be known.

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Community and Unity

Yesterday, I wrote about wish-dreams and how we need to let them die and be open to the dream that God has for us. Many times in churches those wish-dreams revolve around building community and unity within the church.

Community is seen as something that can be created. Things such as home groups, Sunday School classes, separate men’s and women’s groups, and youth groups are put in place in an attempt to bring about community. Usually these groups are based on something that the members already have in common, such as age, gender, or location. Sometimes they are formed around certain subjects. Some churches simply rely on their members attendance at every service or event.

Unity is usually centered around agreement on certain doctrines or practices. In the circles in which I grew up, those who were trying to foster unity among the various Christian denominations were seen as soft on doctrine, or even as heretics. According to this view, heaven would be a sparsely populated place, or if others did make it, they would be far from the throne.

As a church leader trying to bring about change in a congregation, I fell into the trap of thinking that community could be created by having a more laid back, contemporary style of worship with comfortable furniture, and small groups through the week. Unity would come about when everyone came to see that a more up to date, “relevant” way of worshiping and presenting the Gospel was the way to go. As I began to question some of the things I had been taught, I even thought unity would happen when we all felt free to question. I’ve come to believe that all of those ways of seeing community and unity are wrong.

I think community is something that can not be created by us. We can spend time with people, serve with them, worship together, but community happens as the Spirit pulls us closer to each other and, as a group, closer to God. Community can come about in groups that are combinations of age, gender, etc. Our differences contribute to community, rather than detract from it. Unity is also something that can not be created. If it comes about through human effort, there will eventually be some doctrine or practice that will drive a wedge into a church.

I think Bonhoeffer was right when he said that that our unity is in and through Jesus Christ. The same thing could be said for community. It is not in agreement on doctrine, practice, politics, or any thing else. Unity based on those things can quickly disappear. If our community and unity is in and because of Christ, we can disagree with others about politics, ways of doing things, and areas where Scripture is interpreted differently. If we have the most important thing in common – Jesus, then we are unified. We are not told in Scripture to unify. We are told to make every effort to keep the unity that we have. We can destroy that unity by getting our focus on our own desires and ideas, or our wish-dreams. We must keep our focus on Jesus, and on his command to us to love others as he has loved us. The one sign that Jesus said would show that we belong to him is loving each other.

Let us strive to keep the unity we have been given by loving each other and focusing on Jesus.