Category: community

Posted on

The Problem With Community

Community is a wonderful thing. It is how we make disciples and how we grow in the Christian life. But, there is a problem that happens when followers of Jesus come together to live in community. The problem is that there are not that many people who really want to be in community as Scripture presents it.

Most of us have an idealized picture of what Christian community is. We see it as an idyllic place where we are loved and accepted completely and there are never any disagreements, at least any that may lead to someone being hurt. We may see community as simply a group of friends, while the real work of the church gets done on Sunday. We have what Bonhoeffer called “wish dreams,” utopian visions of community. These wish dreams are extremely dangerous, and can eventually kill the community. These idealized pictures cause us to try to center community around something other than Christ and to attempt to keep it going by the sheer force of our wills. I can attest, from personal experience that centering community around anything other than Jesus and what he has done for us will cause the community to crash and burn, with the resultant “loss of life.”

Community is messy. I may misunderstand you or disappoint you. I may offend you or hurt you deeply. You may do the same to me. We will disagree on things. Sometimes those disagreements may be heated. None of us are perfect. Anyone who knows me knows how true that is. Sometimes though, we forget that and are ready to run at the first sign of conflict or the first hurt feeling. Some will say, “That person yelled at me and totally misunderstood me. I’m leaving.” Or, ” He wounded me deeply. I can’t be a part of this anymore.” While there may be times to leave a group if things are bad, many times the leavers have had their picture of community shattered and don’t want to deal with the messiness of trying to work things out. Maybe hard things need to be said or heard. That is part of living as the family of God.

Others will say, “I’m just not being fed. I need a good preacher to feed me.” Good preaching is a part of our growth in Christ, but it is only a part. I would argue, and I think Scripture would bear this out, that the intimate gatherings of God’s children, whether in Missional communities, small groups, or one to one, do more to facilitate spiritual formation than even the best preaching or teaching. It is in the interaction we have with our brothers and sisters on a daily or at least regular basis that shape us. It is in those times that we learn how to follow Jesus in our day-to-day. As we spend time together, we see how others respond in certain situations. The times of disagreement and the times we mess up should be the best times to learn how to love as Jesus loved us and how to extend the same grace we have been given. The troubling times should be the times that actually form us more into Christ’s image and draw us closer to one another.

To do that though, requires us to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. We don’t like to do that because we may have tried and been ground under the heel of someone we trusted. It’s hard. I’ve felt like I had my heart torn out and stomped on. Add that to the fact that we are basically selfish and living in community looks pretty hard, even impossible. That’s why it has to be centered in the gospel. We are called to be people who repent, who forgive, who seek reconciliation, and who willingly lay down our lives for others. We can only do that if the Spirit has formed our community and gives us the power to live as a spiritual family.

It hurts when people leave. May our communities truly be places where the gospel is lived out and where God’s kingdom comes.

Posted on

1 Corinthians 13: More Than Just a Sentiment

1 Corinthians 13 is one of the most widely known passages in the Bible. It is known as “The Love Chapter,” and is well loved. Many times it is read at weddings and is often used in premarital counseling. I think, though, that most of the time we miss the whole picture.

This chapter is set down in the middle of a section on spiritual gifts and the use, or misuse by the Corinthian church. The letter was written to a congregation that had a number of serious issues, issues that would be enough to cause many church leaders to quit. There was immorality, dissension, and arrogance. There were factions, and the people didn’t do a very good job of treating each other right. They were more concerned with their own spiritual gifts and using them for themselves than they were with loving their brothers and sisters.

It is in this context that we find the Love Chapter. Think of it this way:
Love is patient…with that person who just doesn’t get it.
Love is kind…to that jerk who thinks they are God’s gift to mankind.
Love does not envy…the success of that one who always gets everything they want.
Love does not boast…of my success.
Love does not dishonor others…by gossiping or slandering them.
Love is not self-seeking…even when I’m not getting my way.
Love is not easily angered…even when someone tries to tick me off.
Love keeps no record of wrongs… even when it keeps happening again and again.
Love does not rejoice in evil…even when we think they deserve it.
Love rejoices with the truth… and glorifies God.
Love always protects…because we are family.
Love always trusts…even when he has blown it again.
Loves always hopes…even when she is a hopeless case.
Love always perseveres… even if it’s taking forever.
Love never fails…the greatest of these is love.

As an old song used to say, love hurts. It hurts to love people who are not all that loveable. You may get your heart torn out and stomped on. Loving our brothers and sisters is not for the fainthearted.

But, without love, we are nothing.

Posted on

Love Revival

I know. It sounds like the title of a Motown song. It’s the best I could come up with.

A number of Christian groups are seeking revival. Of course, revival means different things to different people. To some, a revival would mean a return to the morals of the past. To others, it means an increase in charismatic activities. Still others are looking for a revival of adherence to doctrine.

While a revival of some of those things may be a good thing, I believe what is needed is a revival of love. The vital importance of love is a theme that runs all through the New Testament. In the gospels, Jesus tell is that the two greatest commandments are, love God with all our being and love others as we love ourselves. He later upped the ante when he said to his followers that we are to love our brothers and sisters as he loved us.

The Apostle Paul said that we can perform all sorts of good and even spiritual acts, but if we don’t have love we are wasting our time. He also said that what counts is faith working through love. Peter tells us to love one another deeply. It is hard to read through any of the apostles’ letters and not find commands and encouragements to love one another. We are commanded to love more often than anything else we are told to do. It seems that love is something that God thinks is pretty important.

I believe the Church needs a revival of love for God that is shown by following Jesus and doing what he commands, and a revival of a love for others that is self-sacrificing and lays down our lives for others. It was said of the first Christians, “Behold how these Christians love one another.” Stop and imagine with me. What would the Church be like if those of us who claim to follow the one who laid down his life for us really loved God and didn’t just talk about it? What would it look like if we laid down our lives for others and were known for our love rather than what we were against.

I for one, would love to find out.

Posted on

Blast From the Past: “Come To Me, and I Will Give You…”

This was first posted on June 14, 2011.

Rest? I know that’s what Jesus said, but how many of us really live like he has given us rest? How many of us have learned “the unforced rhythms of grace,” as The Message puts it. For many of us, the first thing we learned when we became a Christian was that there were certain expectations that we were to live up to in order for God to bless us, or at least in order to stay in the good graces of the group. Some still live that way, and are burdened by a load as heavy as the one the Pharisees put on the Jews of Jesus’ day. Others have broken away from that bondage but taken on another heavy burden, the burden of “proving” how free they are in Christ. Even if we are not burdened by Pharisaical rules or by a need to prove our Christian liberty, we may have a hard time simply resting in God’s grace and mercy.

One of the things that the Father is teaching me is that he loves me, my family, and my friends dearly, and that his heart is good toward them. He takes care of his children. Even though I have seen the hand of God numerous times as he takes care of us, I am having to constantly be reminded by my Father that we are all in his arms, and that it is not my job to do what only he can do. I can only do what God has called me to do as a husband, father, and friend. I cannot change anyone’s heart. I cannot make them do what I think they should do. I can’t heal anyone. I can’t provide jobs. Only the Creator of the universe can do that.

I am learning that the only thing I can do is love them, pray for them, and give them any help that I can. As I do those things, I have to rest in Abba’s love and grace and trust him to do what is good. When I am able to do that, it brings a peace and contentment that is not there when I try to do God’s job or worry about how he is carrying it out. As many times as I’ve seen that played out, you’d think I would have learned that lesson well. I am learning it, but I still have a ways to go.
Posted on

How Quickly We Forget

A few weeks ago, the nation was shocked at the senseless murders of nine people at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston. The next day, many were shocked at the forgiveness extended to the shooter by the families of those killed. The shooter, Dylann Roof, carried out his crime in an effort to start a race war. While there was not widespread violence in the country immediately afterward, I fear that, in some way, the killer succeeded.

We seem to have forgotten what we saw that day when the families forgave the man who had so brutally taken their loved ones from them. What we saw was the result of the gospel. Those who realized they had been forgiven much, forgave much. The media and many of the politicians noted what was an extraordinary event, and then moved on. Moved on to the controversy surrounding the decisions to remove the Confederate battle flag from the state capital in South Carolina and from other public buildings as well as stores and on-line marketplaces. Those decisions brought out rebel flags by the thousands, by those who believed it was their right to fly the flag regardless of what others may think or feel. Add that to the already tense climate caused by a number of police involved shootings (both as shooters and as victims). It seems as if the divide between the races has been widening in recent weeks. There is much rhetoric by people on either extreme that is designed to keep things stirred up. Very little is said about coming together in a spirit of  reconciliation to attempt some healing. There is not a great deal said about having a necessary hard conversation about the state of things in this country. It seems that the majority is simply interested in proving that they are right and everyone else is wrong.

I can understand the lack of desire for forgiveness and reconciliation from those who do not claim to follow Jesus. Those concepts are foreign in a world that tells us to demand our rights, to fight back, to make sure the other gets what’s coming to them. What pains me is the number of people who claim the name of Christ and carry on in the same manner as those who don’t. If an individual claims to be a Christian, why would they post on social media things that tell others that they are going to continue to fly the flag, or whatever action that their “side” is taking, regardless of what others may think, forgetting that some of those they may be offending are their brothers and sisters in Christ. I really don’t believe that is something that shows others the love of Christ. We of all people should be at the forefront of attempts to bring reconciliation. We should be the first to, in the words of Jeremiah, “Seek the peace and prosperity” of our city. Maybe we have no interest in reconciliation outside of our immediate area because we have not practiced it in our families or churches. It’s far to easy for us to simply uproot ourselves and leave family or church, and not attempt the hard work of repenting, forgiving, and reconciling.

All this is in spite of clear commands from the One we claim to follow. Jesus tells us we are to love our enemies, forgive those who sin against us, seek to be forgiven by those we sin against, and seek reconciliation and peace with others. We are called to love others as Jesus loved us. In fact, love and forgiveness are so important that they are the distinguishing marks of a Christian. Jesus said that it is those who are forgiven much who love much. I don’t know about you, but I certainly have been forgiven much. When we think of the lengths our Father went to in order to reconcile us to himself, how can we do anything less than forgive and seek reconciliation?

Scripture says that judgement begins at the house of God. It’s time we take a look at ourselves.

Posted on

Blast From the Past: A Place to Be

This was first posted on March 14, 2011.

 The language arts class in which I assist just finished reading Maniac Magee, by Jerry Spinelli. Because I leave halfway through the class each day, I was only able to catch bits and pieces, but I was able to get the basic idea of the book. It’s about a boy who is orphaned at age three, and spends the next few years of his life trying to find a place to call home. He bounces from place to place, never allowing himself to feel comfortable at any one of them because he is afraid to settle in, afraid to let himself get too close, afraid of losing anyone else.

As we finished the book today, I started thinking about how that is so like those of us who follow Jesus. We’re afraid. Afraid to let others get too close, or to get too close to them. We’re afraid that we won’t be accepted once people discover the real us. I think our biggest fear is the fear of being hurt. I know that fear personally, and there have been times when I have tried to not get too close to folks in certain groups, because I have been hurt and don’t want to get hurt again. I understand those who have to deal with that.
I believe that these fears are one of the reasons churches are not what they could be. Many are looking for a safe place, but they don’t let themselves get too comfortable or too close to the people in a church. In a large church, they can hide. Eventually though, they will get the vague feeling that something is wrong, that the church is not meeting their needs. They will then look somewhere else, like Maniac Magee. Unfortunately the cycle will continue to repeat itself, or they will give up on the whole church thing altogether. Or, they may come upon a small to mid-size church that bills itself as a place “where people matter.” They soon find out that people matter as part of a program, not as individuals. Conflicts may happen, and then, out they go. Some spend their whole lives looking for a place to belong.
Even those who are part of simple churches are not immune to these fears. Again, they are perfectly understandable. If one of the goals of a simple church is to know and be known, there will inevitably be conflict. Too many folks have the idea that if they can just “do church” the way the early church did, all of their problems will be solved. Have you read the letters the Apostles wrote to the early churches lately? It seems that a large part of those letters were written to address problems that the people were having with each other. I have yet to be in a church where a man was sleeping with his father’s wife.
Anytime we deal with people, there will be conflicts. Life is messy, and the deeper we let people into our lives, the better the chance that we will be hurt. That hurt makes it hard to believe that we are safe, that it is really possible to live in community. Some return to the old routine of moving from place to place, never allowing themselves to get comfortable or to love again. Others will give up, and try to go it alone. Both approaches have problems. The first puts us right back into the system that hasn’t produced the community that many look for. The second forgets the fact that the Church is the Body of Christ, that we need each other as the body needs each of its parts. When a limb is amputated, the patient experiences a phantom limb, feeling pain in a part of the body that isn’t there. The same thing happens in the Body of Christ.
Living in community is hard. The conflicts happen, and the wounds they leave are real, and sometimes deep. I don’t believe the answer is to hide our hearts deeper, or refuse to be vulnerable again. Loving and being loved is hard, messy, and painful. It can not be accomplished in our own strength, it can only be done in the power of the risen Christ, the One who has told us to love each other as he loves us.
Be encouraged. Community and love can happen. It is what Abba wants. It is how others will know we belong to Jesus.
Posted on

Prayer for Charleston and Beyond

Father, we pray for the people of Charleston, for the families of those killed and for those injured. We pray for continued healing and strength in the weeks and months ahead. Thank you for the gospel we have seen in the forgiveness extended toward the shooter. Let that spirit of forgiveness and love spread throughout the city, throughout the state, and throughout the nation.

We pray that you would take what was meant for evil and turn it into the good of repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation between races, between denominations, between political parties. May your church be united in the love of Christ and may the world know who we are through that love.

Let your name be hallowed, your kingdom come, and your will be done even in the midst of tragedy.

Amen

Posted on

Repentance: The Other Side of the Coin

Last week, I wrote here about the importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a vital, ongoing part of life as a follower of Jesus. There is another side to that coin. Along with being people who are known for forgiveness, we are called to be folks who are known for repentance.

Repentance is one of those concepts that we sometimes have a hard time defining. It is definitely one of those things that we have a hard time doing. Repentance is usually defined as being sorry for our sins. That is part of it, however I believe being people of repentance and creating a culture of repentance in our communities calls us to go much further. Of course, this is just my belief, although I am convinced that it is informed by Scripture. Your results may vary.

The Greek word “metanoeo,” usually translated “repent” means to change one’s mind, or to turn away from. It is turning away from a way of thinking and acting that brings death and turning to life. Jesus told people to turn from their way of thinking about the kingdom of God and turn to God`s way, the way of the Messiah. The Sermon on the Mount lays out the essentials of the kingdom way of life.

When I look at the way Jesus calls us to live I see a life of repentance. We need to repent and turn away from sins we commit or from heart attitudes that are not pleasing to God. I would contend that there will be times when we need to turn away from words and actions that may hurt or offend someone, even if there is not sin involved, and even if the hurt was inadvertant. We are told to do everything we can to live at peace with others. Jesus said that we are to go to anyone we know has something against us, even if that means leaving religious duties. He also tells us that we are to be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves. In our relationships, we are to be smart and awake to the effect we have on others and be harmless in our dealings.

I believe that we should be known as people who are quick to repent and even quicker to forgive. Our churches and communities should be known as communities of repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation, fueled by the mutual, sacrificial love of Christ. Think of what that would look like!

Posted on

Wisdom From Don Henley

As you may know, I believe that all truth is God’s truth and that truth can come from many different places. In Don Henley’s song, “The Heart of the Matter,” there is a bit of truth about forgiveness. The song is about a lost love, but there is something there for all of us who have been hurt by other people.

Henley sings, “The more I know, the less I understand / All the things I thought I knew, I’m learning again.” Those words speak volumes to me. It seems that the older I get the less I understand about some things, especially when it comes to people. Sometimes the more we know about someone, the less we understand what they do. That is one reason we need forgiveness, whether given or received.

 The song goes on:

These times are so uncertain/ There’s a yearning undefined/
…People filled with rage/ We all need a little tenderness/
How can love survive in such a graceless age/
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness/
They’re the very things we kill, I guess
We live in uncertain times. Those of us who follow Jesus face an uncertain future that may include persecution and definitely will include a loss of the influence the church has enjoyed. Because we are family, we must be a family that forgives. The age is quickly becoming more and more graceless, and forgiveness is necessary for love to survive.
In some way, Henley gets it: 
“I’ve been trying to get down to the heart  of the matter
But my will gets weak/ And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness
Even if you don’t love me anymore
He recognizes the vital importance of forgiveness:
There are people in your life who’ve come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carryin’ that anger, it’ll eat you inside
We have all been hurt by people, whether it’s an abusive parent or spouse, a tyrannical boss, or a friend who has betrayed us. Some of those hurts heal relatively quickly while some will never be totally healed until God wipes all tears from our eyes. Some folks we can reconcile with, while with others reconciliation is impossible. The one thing we can do is forgive. Like the Amish in Pennsylvania, the people in Rwanda, or the formerly oppressed majority in South Africa, we can forgive. We must forgive. If we don’t, it will eat away at us and cause issues for the rest of our life.
Forgiveness is more about us than the person we are forgiving. By forgiving, we release the other from any hold their act still has on us. We also release ourselves. We do incur a cost by giving up our “right” to extract a pound of flesh, but that pound of flesh can never pay for their act and forgiving frees us and enables us to move on with our lives. We are no longer bound to that act or that person. We also must forgive because our Father has forgiven us far worse trespasses than any of us have ever felt. Jesus command us to forgive and reminds us that forgiving is an indication of our own forgiveness. We must forgive. For the glory of God and the advance of his kingdom, for the good of others, and for our own wholeness. It’s not easy, but it must be a part of our lives.
There is another side to this coin. That is repentance. That’s a subject for another post.
Posted on

Identity

Identity is a big issue these days. You have identity politics, entertainers constantly creating new identities for themselves in an effort to stay popular, and publications and advertising telling the rest of us how to live out a certain identity. There is even a movie coming out that is about a woman who wins the lottery and begins a television program that is simply all about her. All of these have a couple of things in common; a focus on the self, and a very good chance of disappointment.

When I was younger, I built an identity as a pretty decent sprinter. I had dreams of making it to the Olympics. I even made it to being a part of a fairly well known track club, and was close to being a national class runner. I had just one problem. I reached the top of my potential and was not really good enough to continue putting the time and effort into the sport at that level. That identity fell by the way. Then my identity became that of a coach and teacher. I lived that out for a good long time until it too went away. I have had to learn the hard way that my true identity is as a beloved child of the Creator of the universe.

For a person who follows Jesus, the only identity that matters, and the identity from which everything else flows, is our identity as children of a loving Father and as co-heirs with Jesus of everything the Father has. We have been adopted as children with all of the rights and responsibilities of a son or daughter of the King. That identity is something that will never change and will never disappear, no matter what.

This identity means that it really doesn’t matter what others think of us, because God loves us. He not only loves us, he likes us and thinks we’re pretty special. It also means that our future is secure. Not only is it secure, but the renewal of creation is somehow tied in with our final redemption. That blows my tiny little mind! Our identity means that we are part of a family that stretches all over the world and through time. We never lack for brothers and sisters.

Our identity carries with it responsibilities as well as privileges. Because God is our Father, we are to live in such a way that folks see the family resemblance in us. We should be the spittin’ image of our Abba. That means that we strive to treat others with the same grace and love with which our Father treats us, especially those who are part of the family. Our brothers and sisters should be as dear to us as they are to the Father. Since our final redemption is somehow connected to the restoration of creation, we have a responsibility to see creation as something good, to be cared for and stewarded as a gift from our loving Father. That also means using whatever creative gifts God has given us to bless others ands bring glory to our Father.

There is no greater identity than that of a beloved child of Abba. God help us to live in that reality.