Category: culture

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Lonely or Broken?

Back in the 80s, the group Yes put out a single titled “Owner of a Lonely Heart.” One line in the song reads, “Owner of a lonely heart, much better than the owner of a broken heart.” There are a lot of people who would agree with that sentiment, along with that expressed in Simon and Garfunkel’s song, “I Am a Rock.” I can understand the feeling. Many have had their hearts broken by friends, family, lovers. Abuse, violence, and death is a common part of the human experience.

While I can understand wanting to withdraw from intimate contact with other people, thinking that hiding the heart will make life better, I would disagree with the sentiment that being lonely is better than being broken hearted. I agree with C.S. Lewis, who wrote: There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one , not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies, and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of perturbations of love is hell.

I believe a large part of the problem is our culture’s definition of love as something that will make the one loved happy and make the lover happy. It is a very self-centered thing. Because we can never make another person completely happy, and no one can ever make us completely happy, going into any kind of relationship with another person will be no safe investment. If you try to love others, whether as a spouse or friend, they may hurt you and you may hurt them.

As a follower of Jesus, I am commanded to love others. Not necessarily to seek to make them happy, and certainly not to make myself happy, although both of those things can and will happen at times. I am called to love others in a sacrificial way that seeks their good, even if that good may make them unhappy for a time. I am also called to love everyone, those who are like me and those who are different. This is where the rubber meets the road. Can I love my brothers and sisters in my local fellowship when we don’t see eye to eye? Can I love those who follow Jesus differently? If those whom I fellowship with aren’t “as far along in their walk with God as I am” can I love them?

In A Fellowship of Differents, Scot McKnight writes that to love others we must be committed. We must commit to be with those we seek to love. We must spend time with them, being a faithful presence. We must commit to be for them, to be on their side and let them know that we are for them. We must also commit to love them unto the person God has created them to be. As God’s faithful presence in us and his commitment for us transforms us unto the likeness of Jesus, so our loving relationships can transform those we love. It is in that loving unto that we run into difficulties. We don’t always take well to correction or teaching. We must be careful that we don’t hurry the unto before we have loved with and for. By our presence and support, our unconditional love, the Spirit can work in the hearts of those we love.

As someone who likes to be the one who fixes things, often with not so good results, I can tell you that what we need to do in our relationships is be faithful in our presence and support, and then trust the Spirit to do the work of changing hearts the way God wants, not the way we want. This is not easy because our love for others leads us to want them to be Christlike, and it can be heart breaking when it doesn’t happen. But, the results are not up to us. We are simply called to love as Jesus loves us. Period.

Let us show the world around us that we belong to Jesus by our love for others, especially our brothers and sisters.

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A Challenge and an Opportunity

Conservative writer George Will, in an interview on CNN, said that he believes that President Trump’s effect on the civil discourse in this country will be more damaging than Richard Nixon’s activities during the Watergate scandal. Whether or not you agree with him, I think it’s safe to say that the public climate in the United States is not good.

Take a look at campaign advertising the past few years. Almost all of it is aimed at painting an ugly picture of the opposing candidate. If you do a bit of digging you can find out that much of the advertising is at best half truths, and at worst bald faced lies. There is usually very little talk about the issues. Actually, this kind of thing has been going on during most of our history as a nation. It’s more widespread today because media is more advanced and covers a broader area. It does seem though, that the amount of vitriol in the public square is quickly reaching toxic levels.

Honestly, I don’t expect folks whose lives are all wrapped up in the kingdom of this world, who believe that human government will solve all our problems to act much differently. If you believe that your favored form of government is the only form of government it’s natural to see the other party as a threat to your way of life. From there it’s a short step to seeing individuals who disagree with you as evil. Don’t even try to tell me that is not happening.

What saddens me is seeing people who claim to belong to Jesus acting like those who don’t. Christians on both sides of the political divide attack other Christians, each side claiming that their views are the only ones influenced by Scripture, and that the other side is of the devil. Take a look at any of the social media sites and you see posts, from people who call themselves Christians, that are filled with hatred and misinformation.

This toxic climate presents followers of Jesus with a challenge and an opportunity. The challenge is to begin to treat those who are our brothers and sisters with the sacrificial love Jesus commanded. Pagans in the first century recognized the love Christians had for each other as something unusual. Christians were also known for showing love to the pagans. When unbelieving citizens of a city fled an outbreak of disease, it was the Christians who remained, taking care of the sick. We here in 21st Century America are still called to show love to fellow Christians. We are not told to love those who agree with us and show hatred to those who disagree. Loving each other is a challenge because we have bought into the idea that government can be used to advance the kingdom of God. Whether on the right or on the left, we forget that the United States, as great as it is, is still a kingdom of this world. We need to remember that we are citizens of a greater kingdom, with a greater agenda.

The opportunity is great. As the civic discourse grows more vitriolic and the world around us grows darker, we have the opportunity to show a better way. The first century church showed the Roman Empire that the sacrificial way of the cross was the only true way to be human. Through simply living out their faith, they turned the world upside down. Imagine what it would look like if followers of Jesus decided they were going to show love to others, in person and online. What would it look like if Christians were known for their civility in discourse and their willingness to listen, not just “own” the other side? How about if, instead of shouting at people, we showed them the truth, goodness, and beauty of the Gospel?

May those who we deal with see, not partisans, but Jesus.

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Anger

A while back, I wrote a post about the number of folks that were letting their lives be ruled by fear. It seems to me that a growing number of people are also angry. This anger may be driven by their fear. We do have more of a tendency to get angry when we’re fearful or when we don’t understand something or someone.

Some of the prevalent images in the news or social media lately have been images of anger, from the white supremacists with their garden party torches, to the folks on the other side who just want to tear things down. They are angry. Angry because this group of people are getting what seem like advantages that they don’t have, or angry because that group is trying to assert their rights. Neither side is interested in sitting down and trying to have a conversation because they are too busy being angry. Road rage is becoming a bigger problem. Some folks will shoot you if you don’t go fast enough and they have to slow down.

There are things to be angry about. Some of the folks who are expressing their anger have a legitimate gripe.  I see situations almost every day that make me angry. The problem is not anger as such. The problem is letting that anger become so big that it takes over and drives everything we do. We focus on being angry and don’t take that anger and let it be the fuel for positive work.

In his letter to the Ephesian church, Paul writes that we should “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Things are going to happen that make us angry. That anger may spring from selfishness or it may be justified. It may even be “righteous anger.” In that anger, we are not to sin. We are not to let that anger cause us to harm or even denigrate another person. We are to deal with that anger and whatever is causing it. If I am angry at someone because they have done something I don’t like, the first thing I need to do is ask my self if the anger is justified. As I have grown older, I’ve become more convinced that most things are just not worth getting angry about.

The second thing that I need to do is ask if there is anything I have done against the other person. Maybe their action was a reaction to something I had done. If so, I need to try to make it right. The third thing I need to do is ask if there is anything I can do in a positive way to help the situation that I am angry about. I can be angry about injustice, but I must realize that there is only so much I can do. A hard lesson for me to learn was the fact that I can’t save everybody. I can only do what God gives me to do and trust him for the outcome.

Those of us who call ourselves followers of Jesus should be the least angry people. We are to be gentle, compassionate people. Others should see the hope that is in us and want to ask aboutit. We should live lives that make people thirsty for the truth, goodness, and beauty of Jesus. May it be so.   

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Right Wing, Left Wing, Or…

A few years ago the eminent political philosopher Pat Paulsen said, “I’m not right wing or left wing. I’m more middle of the bird. If you have only one wing you tend to fly in concentric circles.”

As much as folks laughed at Paulsen’s statement, I think he was closer to the truth than many would think. For the past few years the government has seemed to flip from one wing to the other, and the country is dizzy from flying around in concentric circles. Signs of this dizziness are abundant. Congress is divided into two hostile camps and they all seem to be more interested in promoting their side’s agenda than in what is best for the country. The rhetoric from the politicians and their mouthpieces in the media is getting more divisive and hateful, filtering down to ordinary folks. If you can handle it, scroll through social media and see the garbage that passes for discourse these days. There are some who believe the system is about to implode. They may be right.

Hopefully, we will see some leaders arise who are willing to come to the table with those who disagree with them, who are willing to look for common ground and spend more time doing the hard work of governing than standing in front of the cameras vilifying the other side. Hopefully enough folks will realize that a lot of emperors are strutting about without a stitch of clothing. I believe that the country can not go much longer down the path we are traveling. Hopefully we will wake up and start flying with both wings.

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Fourteen Days and Then???

In 14 days, the most brutal campaign season we have known will be over. It seems as if this country is more divided than ever before. The divide extends into the church. Regardless of who wins, things are likely to change in our nation.  I am encouraged by the fact that there are groups of Christians who are able to discuss current events without rancor. Jan and I are part of such a group.That is evidence of the Spirit working in us.


 Remember that no matter who is president, Jesus is still the King. We are citizens of the United States, but we are first and foremost citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven and our first allegiance is there. Things may well get difficult for followers of Jesus in the days to come, but we have a Father who is in control of all things and who is always with us, no matter what. Don’t listen to the prophets of gloom and doom. 


Our influence doesn’t come from laws and statutes. It comes from living out the gospel in such a way that people will want to know why we have such hope in the middle of the mess. It comes from showing the world that we belong to Jesus by our love for each other. 

Lift up your hearts! The kingdoms of this world have been unable to stop the Kingdom, and they sure aren’t going to start now.

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Fruit of the Spirit: Peace

This is the third post in a series.


Another part of the fruit that the Spirit produces in us is peace. Peace is usually thought of as the absence of conflict or hostility. That is true. Christ brought peace and reconciliation between us and the Father and we are called to be peacemakers and agents of reconciliation. I think in this case it goes deeper.

The Hebrew word Shalom, which is usually translated peace, carries the idea of wholeness and flourishing. We can have an absence of conflict or hostility and still not have wholeness. The culture around us tells us that the way to flourish is to drive this, wear that. Drink this, use this toothpaste. Accumulate things and buy a bigger house to put them in, get that perfect job. Marry that person.

Those things are not wrong in themselves. They become an issue when we think that those things will make our lives complete and bring us wholeness. Nothing in or of this world will ever bring us real peace. True peace only comes when the beauty of Jesus captivates us and our love for him grows and makes all other loves and all other narratives of flourishing fade. As that happens, the peace that the Spirit produces fills us whether we have much or have little. Then we can say with Paul that we have learned to be content in all circumstances.

May the beauty of Jesus become the all-surpassing story of our lives and may his peace fill us to overflowing.

Part 1
Part 2

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Lessons From Meatloaf

The singer, not the food. I know what you all are thinking. “Fred’s really lost his mind!” Now that may be true, but bear with me.

In the song, “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad,” there is a line that says, “I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you.” I wonder if this might be descriptive of many in the church in the 21st century.

One thing I do believe is true is that many in the American evangelical church have a hard time being in community with other believers. I’m not talking about gathering in a worship setting once a week, although that is a vital part of community. I’m talking about spending time with other believers, gathering in homes and other places and digging beneath the surface to build up and challenge each other in following Jesus. That is community, and it can be messy at times.

I think many are saying, “I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you.” In other words, they crave community, being known and loved for who they are. They want to be loved and accepted. They recognize their need for community. But.

But, when it comes down to the hard stuff, the hard work of loving as Jesus loves us, the messiness of sacrificially loving others with all their warts and blemishes, that’s a different story. Then it becomes, “ain’t no way!” Some hang out on the periphery, never quite throwing their lot in fully. Others find a church that only asks that they show up once a week and put their money in the offering plate.

Although we do want and need to be part of a fellowship that accepts and loves us, and that challenges us, it is not really about our wants and needs. It is about obeying what our King told us to do, to love one another and to lay down our lives for each other. That is how the world will know we belong to Jesus, not by how we vote or what position we take on social issues. The first Christians, with all their flaws, learned to live with and love folks from all kinds of backgrounds and with all sorts of issues. Even though they were far from perfect, they were known throughout the world for their love for each other and for those outside. And, they turned the world upside down.

May God help us to say, “I want you, I need you, and I will love you no matter what it takes.”

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Sticks, Stones, and Words

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” So goes the schoolyard chant. I beg to differ. While it may be true that sticks and stones may break bones, it is equally true that words can hurt, often in ways far worse than physical damage.

Now I don’t agree with the current way of thinking that wants “trigger warnings,” “safe places,” and other means of shielding people from speech and ideas that might challenge their own thinking. The desire to only see and hear what agrees with your presuppositions is a fast track to fear and ignorance. The lack of civil discourse is a growing problem in our society, even in the church.

I would agree that there is a point where we can become too careful with our words, walking on verbal eggshells in order to avoid making anyone feel bad. At the same time, I believe that those of us who follow Jesus are called to be careful with our speech. While we are to speak truth, we are called to do so in love. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says that using terms of contempt is equal to murder. Ephesians 4:29 tells us we are to not let any corrupting or unwholesome talk come out of our mouths but only say things that build one another up. I believe this goes beyond just an admonition to avoid cussing and dirty jokes.

In his letter, James tells us that our tongues should be instruments of blessing rather than cursing. Paul says that our words should be gracious and add “flavor” to others. All through Scripture we are commanded to guard our speech, to say things that build others up rather than tearing them down.

Most of can remember times when the words of another cut us to the quick and caused long lasting damage. If we’re honest, we can also remember times when we have done the same. Churches have split over things that have been said, as have whole denominations. Hateful, evil speech is not just a problem outside the church.

Jesus said that the world would know we are his by our love to one another. May we follow our Master and King by being careful and gracious with our words, and also being gracious and forgiving toward those who blow it, because we all will.
Let us grow more and more into the likeness of Christ Jesus in everything, including how we use our tongues.

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Inside Out

A little while ago, Jan and I went to the movie theater to see Inside Out. The reviews were pretty good and a few people that I know had seen it and liked it, so we decided to give it a try. We both really enjoyed it and would highly recommend it. I thought the film had a good message that is relevant to those of us who follow Jesus.

In the movie, Joy was the leader of the emotions rolling around in the lead character’s head. The other emotions were Anger, Fear, Disgust, and Sadness. As the main character, a girl named Riley, went through different experiences in her life, the emotions all had a part to play. The only emotion that was sometimes shut out was Sadness. Joy was so dominant that she wouldn’t let Sadness do much of anything. As the film progressed, the girl and her family moved to a new town. Somehow, in spite of the best efforts of Joy, Sadness touched some memories and things began to rapidly deteriorate. At one point Joy and Sadness were sucked out of Riley and Anger was left to run things. Things went from bad to worse, until Riley decided the only thing to do was to run away and return to her former hometown.

As Joy and Sadness desperately searched for a way to save Riley, they went through a wide range of memories and things that had happened in her life. Finally, Joy realized that the only way to save Riley was to let Sadness play her part. That caused Riley to become sad and, in that sadness, return to her parents. As happens in most movies, everyone lived happily ever after. Joy realized that Sadness had an important part to play in Riley’s life.

I think that lesson is something that many Christians need to learn. We tend to want joy all the time. Our worship songs speak of how wonderful it is to be a Christian. “There is joy in serving Jesus.” We are told that the world out there needs to see us happy and “joyful” so they will want what we have. Some of us are told that bad things happen only because satan is attacking us, and we need to believe and rise above it, in effect pretending that we are not hurting. It is implied (and sometimes stated outright) that if we are sad, there is something wrong with our faith.

That way of thinking is contrary to so much of what we see in Scripture, and has not been the experience of God’s people through the ages. Even a quick reading through the Psalms shows a range of emotions, from joy and gladness to sadness and despair. A number of Psalms are songs of lament, asking God why evil happens to good people or why the wicked prosper. Most of those do end in confidence that God will act and that justice will be done. There is always a sense of trust in God even in the midst of deep despair, but the psalmists are always honest about their feelings. God’s people have always faced trouble. Jesus told us that we will have trouble in this world. We live in a broken world with broken people. The difference is the knowledge that our Father is in control, even when tragedy strikes.

By denying any of our emotions, we deny our humanity. We also deny our own brokenness and our own need of a Savior. By denying grief, we deny the opportunity to experience the deep comfort of our loving Father, and the chance to comfort others who may go through the same things. Life is not all sweetness and light. Evil still is active in the world. Sin is still around in us. There will be plenty of opportunities in life to experience sadness and grow from it, just as there will be plenty of opportunities to experience joy and happiness. We are citizens of a kingdom that is now, but not yet. Now we still must deal with grief. Someday all our tears will be wiped away and all sadness will be gone.

Until then, grieve when it’s time to grieve. Grieve well, as those who have hope. Rejoice when it’s time to rejoice. Rejoice well, as those who have hope. Don’t put on a happy mask and deny the sadness. Give space for the Spirit to do his work through everything that comes into life. Be a whole person.        

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How Quickly We Forget

A few weeks ago, the nation was shocked at the senseless murders of nine people at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston. The next day, many were shocked at the forgiveness extended to the shooter by the families of those killed. The shooter, Dylann Roof, carried out his crime in an effort to start a race war. While there was not widespread violence in the country immediately afterward, I fear that, in some way, the killer succeeded.

We seem to have forgotten what we saw that day when the families forgave the man who had so brutally taken their loved ones from them. What we saw was the result of the gospel. Those who realized they had been forgiven much, forgave much. The media and many of the politicians noted what was an extraordinary event, and then moved on. Moved on to the controversy surrounding the decisions to remove the Confederate battle flag from the state capital in South Carolina and from other public buildings as well as stores and on-line marketplaces. Those decisions brought out rebel flags by the thousands, by those who believed it was their right to fly the flag regardless of what others may think or feel. Add that to the already tense climate caused by a number of police involved shootings (both as shooters and as victims). It seems as if the divide between the races has been widening in recent weeks. There is much rhetoric by people on either extreme that is designed to keep things stirred up. Very little is said about coming together in a spirit of  reconciliation to attempt some healing. There is not a great deal said about having a necessary hard conversation about the state of things in this country. It seems that the majority is simply interested in proving that they are right and everyone else is wrong.

I can understand the lack of desire for forgiveness and reconciliation from those who do not claim to follow Jesus. Those concepts are foreign in a world that tells us to demand our rights, to fight back, to make sure the other gets what’s coming to them. What pains me is the number of people who claim the name of Christ and carry on in the same manner as those who don’t. If an individual claims to be a Christian, why would they post on social media things that tell others that they are going to continue to fly the flag, or whatever action that their “side” is taking, regardless of what others may think, forgetting that some of those they may be offending are their brothers and sisters in Christ. I really don’t believe that is something that shows others the love of Christ. We of all people should be at the forefront of attempts to bring reconciliation. We should be the first to, in the words of Jeremiah, “Seek the peace and prosperity” of our city. Maybe we have no interest in reconciliation outside of our immediate area because we have not practiced it in our families or churches. It’s far to easy for us to simply uproot ourselves and leave family or church, and not attempt the hard work of repenting, forgiving, and reconciling.

All this is in spite of clear commands from the One we claim to follow. Jesus tells us we are to love our enemies, forgive those who sin against us, seek to be forgiven by those we sin against, and seek reconciliation and peace with others. We are called to love others as Jesus loved us. In fact, love and forgiveness are so important that they are the distinguishing marks of a Christian. Jesus said that it is those who are forgiven much who love much. I don’t know about you, but I certainly have been forgiven much. When we think of the lengths our Father went to in order to reconcile us to himself, how can we do anything less than forgive and seek reconciliation?

Scripture says that judgement begins at the house of God. It’s time we take a look at ourselves.