Getting Personal

May is Huntington’s Disease Awareness month. This month is significant to our family. Last summer, my wife Jan was diagnosed with HD. Later, we found out that both of our children and one of Jan’s sisters also have it.

HD is a genetic, fatal neurological disease for which there is no cure. Yet. If you want to find out more about it you can go to https://hdsa.org/what-is-hd/overview-of-huntingtons-disease/?

As you can probably guess, the diagnosis of a disease such as this has changed our lives. After all, since there is no cure, it will end in death. There is currently no treatment for the disease, only for the symptoms. As the disease progresses, there will be issues with memory and processing, problems with balance and movement and issues with speech and swallowing. Death is often caused by pneumonia, heart failure, choking or other complications. Depending on when the symptoms appear, the course can run from ten to twenty five years.

There are varying degrees of HD. How severe the disease will be depends on the number of “repeats” in a particular gene. The lower the number, the shorter and less severe. The threshold number is 40. That is Jan’s number. The folks with the higher numbers usually show symptoms between the ages of 30 and 50.

We are in a season of trying to settle into a new normal, with only a limited idea of what the future will look like. We know that we have to trust that our loving Father has us in his hands, and that he will be with us through whatever may come. There will be days ahead when Jan will not be able to do many of the things she once did, and there will be times of frustration and wondering.

Our children also face the unknown, but there is encouraging news for them. A number of clinical trials are showing promise, and there is a possibility of a future treatment that could effectively cure HD. We hope and pray that medical science is able to accomplish this soon.

We would appreciated your thoughts and prayers for us as we travel down this back road together.

Waiting

“How could this happen? How could we have been so wrong?”

“We believed the kingdom was going to be restored and those pagan dogs sent back to Rome where they belong. But this ‘messiah’ turned out to be just like all the others.”

“Now here we are hiding from the priests and the Romans.”

“Why didn’t we fight back? What kind of wimps are we?”

“Fight back? Did you see how many men they had? Besides, Peter tried and he told him to put the sword away!”

“Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but as soon as all this mess dies down, I’m going back up to Galilee.”

“Me too. Back to the old life. When the only thing we had to worry about was catching fish and fixing nets.”

“Yeah. It’s been an interesting three years, but I’m through with messiahs and kingdoms. Just give me my boat out on the water. As soon as I can, I’m getting out of here.”

And so, they waited.

Feasting and Fasting

In the liturgical traditions, this time of year is the season of Lent, a period of fasting, reflection, and repentance leading to the remembrance of Jesus’ crucifixion and the celebration of his resurrection. The Lenten season lasts 40 days, beginning with Ash Wednesday, a day of repentance and remembrance that we are dust and to dust we shall return, and ending on the Thursday before Easter Sunday. During this time, people fast from certain types of food, from alcohol or tobacco, from social media, or any number of things. Others add some sort of service to others or other spiritual activity to their schedule. No matter what is done, the focus is on the fact that we are broken people living in a broken world. It helps those who follow Jesus reflect on why he died on the cross.

In many places where Lent is practiced, there is a period of time known as Mardi Gras, or Carnival. It is a time of feasting and partying, sometimes to excess. The day before Ash Wednesday is called either Fat Tuesday or Shrove Tuesday. According to Wikipedia, Mardi Gras is French for Fat Tuesday, referring to the feasting that takes place. Shrove Tuesday refers to the liturgical season of Shrovetide, which ends on that day. Many traditions consume pancakes on Shrove Tuesday.   In many places, the Mardi Gras celebration begins the weekend before and Fat Tuesday is the culmination of the feasting.

The Bible speaks of both feasting and fasting. The Old Testament Hebrews were commanded to fast at certain times. There were also times of fasting for certain types of people or ministry. There were also time of feasting commanded. There were seven different feasts which the Israelites were commanded to attend. Deuteronomy 14 commands the people, once a year, to carry their tithe to what became the Temple in Jerusalem and eat it before the Lord in that place. If the way was too long for them, they were to sell their tithe, and when they arrived at the city, to buy whatever they wanted: oxen, sheep, wine or strong drink. The people of God were commanded to fast at certain times, and they were commanded to party at others.

Our little community of believers tries to carry on a bit of that tradition. We have a Mardi Gras celebration the Saturday before Ash Wednesday every year. We feast on pork, gumbo, and other foods. There is wine and strong drink, although it is rare when someone imbibes excessively. We believe that Christians should throw the best parties and bring the best wine. We also believe in reflecting on the fact that even though we are in Christ, we still sin and need to repent. This year we gathered on Ash Wednesday to serve dinner to a group of men at a homeless shelter, reminding us of our human condition. We will celebrate Good Friday and will feast on Easter Sunday.

We believe that the times of fasting or repentance remind us that the Kingdom has not come in its fullness, that we live in that in-between time. When we feast we look ahead to the wedding feast of the Lamb, when all things will be made new and we will live in the New Jerusalem, when there will be no need for fasting.

Even so, come Lord Jesus.


Repost: Dead, Yet Alive

This was first posted on June 15, 2012.

Those of you who have read this blog over the past three or four months know that one of the topics I wrote a fair amount on was death. Death to self, dying for others. Those posts came out of some recent experiences, and as I was thinking about them the other day, I was concerned that I may have come across as a bit morose. Over the last couple of months, I have learned a few things. Believe it or not, I am still very much a work in progress and am continually learning.

The biggest thing that I am learning is the difference between what so many of us see as living, and what Scripture tells us about life. Many people (Christians included) see life as all about getting as much stuff as you can. That stuff can be money and possessions, or career satisfaction and success. It can be friends and followers, or family. It can be any number of things. The prosperity gospel preachers tell us that if we just have faith, God will give us a life filled with health and wealth, and devoid of problems. Some preachers preach that if we just love everyone, our lives will be filled with friends. Many evangelicals preach that if we follow a number of steps (based on the Bible of course) we will have great marriages, successful children, and a joyous life. Even those who look on horrified at all those things teach that if we keep all the rules our life will be wonderful.

In John 10:10, Jesus states that he came so we could have an abundant life. There are many places in Scripture where a life of following Jesus is presented as the ultimate way to live. Jesus says in Luke 17:33 that those who lose their lives for his sake will find life. In Luke 18, Jesus states that those who give up family, etc. to follow him will receive those things back, and then some. Jesus does call us to come and die. He also says that dying is the way to real, abundant life. The problem comes when we expect that abundant life to include lots of friends, success in our endeavors, good health, enough money to do anything we want, or anything else we think will make us happy. We are like those described by C.S. Lewis in Weight of Glory“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”  

We tend to see life in terms of what we can see and touch, when the life Jesus offers us rises far above the mundane things of this life. We are far too easily pleased. We set our sights on things that will pass away and miss the eternal pleasures the Father has for us right now. I wonder how many of those who believe God is in the business of giving them whatever they want believe that they will have those things in the new heavens and new earth. I hope none of us really believe that the things of this earth are the things that count. We do act like it many times.

As Christ calls us to die, let us remember that he also calls us to live. Live in him. 

Fear

Franklin Roosevelt famously said, “…the only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” as he tried to encourage the American people to see the future as full of possibilities rather than full of terrible, fearful things. Not as famously, he also stated that the “common difficulties” concerned “only material things.” I think what Roosevelt was saying that the economic problems in the country at the time were not the most important thing, that there was something greater. That something was the spirit of the American people to pull together to do what needed to be done, including defeating the greatest worldwide threat the world had seen.

Centuries before, Jesus said to his followers, “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.” He could easily have also said that difficulties they would face are not the important thing, that they paled in comparison to the kingdom. For at least a few hundred years, Jesus’ followers went about their day-to-day fearlessly; facing rejection, misunderstanding, persecution, torture, and death. They were able to do so because they had confidence that the kingdom had been give to them, that they were subjects of the King of Kings, and that everything he had was theirs. They knew that absolutely nothing could separate them from their Father’s love. These early Christians also could live fearlessly because they knew that the sufferings they did endure somehow were what the King used to bring kingdom on earth as in heaven. As Tertullian said, “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church.”

Today, I look around and see a group that is fearful. All it takes is some time spent on social media to see the fear that controls a great deal of what people say and do. Whether it’s fear of a certain political party taking away freedoms, fear of the other side waging a war on Christians, or fear of a certain group coming and taking away jobs or our lives. This fear can lead to saying and doing things that hurt others, ruin relationships, and cause the name of Christ to be slandered. We can easily tend toward fear in our day-to-day as well. We fear that disease will strike us or those we love. We fear that we may lose friends. We fear that we can’t do our jobs well. We fear that we simply aren’t good enough, that eventually people will see through our charade and reject us.  This fear drives us to perfectionism, to overwork, to self medication. We hide behind masks because we fear that others will reject us if they learn the real us. Sometimes we fear facing ourselves.

There is much that can make us fearful. But, as FDR said, those are only material things. Those are things that are inconsequential compared to the kingdom. Compared to the great inheritance that is ours, all of the things of this earth are nothing. Compared to the life that we have been given, the life we fear losing is nothing. Because Jesus died and was raised, the new creation has begun. We are citizens of a kingdom that will never be defeated, that will never pass away. The King has come! We don’t always see his reign in this life, although we do catch glimpses now and then, but he is in control. All the stuff of life that hits us, all the things that our enemy throws at us has already been overcome. We need to live from that reality. Will we still experience bad, even terrible things? Yes we will. But, those things can not wrench us out of our Father’s hands. They can not ultimately harm us because our destiny is settled. It’s hard, I know. I have to remind myself constantly that the things of this world are not the kingdom. Let us all continually remind each other of who we are and whose we are, and of the glory that will be revealed in us when the King finally comes to sett all things right.

Fear not, because your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.        

Some Things I Don’t Understand

A young teenage girl died this week. She left behind family and friends who loved her dearly. I know all the things that are true. She lived far longer than expected. She is no longer in pain. God is good and kind and he is in control. I know all that and I believe all that. Still, there are some things I don’t understand.

Last night some of us sat with two friends of the young lady. Most of that time was spent in silence. We grieved with them. At this time, it’s the only thing we could do. I spent some time wondering about the brokenness of this world and the pain that we humans have to endure. Jan and I have lost both of our parents in the last few years. That kind of thing is more normal. Children are “supposed” to outlive their parents.

This is different. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. Teenagers are not supposed to spend evenings grieving for other teenagers. People are not supposed to die that young. This world is not supposed to be the way it is. Even though I know the creation is broken and groaning because of sin, I still don’t understand why it sometimes works out the way it does. Even though I know God is good and compassionate, I still don’t understand why this compassion sometimes plays out the way it does.

I know and believe that my Father is loving. I know and believe that his love extends to the young lady and the family and friends she left behind. Having said that, I still have to admit that I don’t understand. The only thing I can do is try to trust my Father’s heart. I have to trust that Romans 8 is right, that God works in everything for the good of those who love him. I have to believe, not only for me, but in some way for my friends who lost a loved one. 

I  have to trust my Father because I can’t trust my own understanding.

Waiting

This was first posted on April 19, 2014.

“How could this happen? How could we have been so wrong?”

“We believed the kingdom was going to be restored and those pagan dogs sent back to Rome where they belong. But this ‘messiah’ turned out to be just like all the others.”

“Now here we are hiding from the priests and the Romans.”

“Why didn’t we fight back? What kind of wimps are we?”

“Fight back? Did you see how many men they had? Besides, Peter tried and he told him to put the sword away!”

“Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but as soon as all this mess dies down, I’m going back up to  Galilee.”

“Me too. Back to the old life. When the only thing we had to worry about was catching fish and fixing nets.”

“Yeah. It’s been an interesting three years, but I’m through with messiahs and kingdoms. Just give me my boat out on the water. As soon as I can, I’m getting out of here.”

And so, they waited.