Category: death

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Bread and Life

Two weekends ago, Jan and I participated in a forum on food, creativity, and togetherness called A Place at the Table. The event was put on by a group of local artists called Friday Arts Project. We were blessed to be able to help, in a small way, our friends organize and put on this event. A Place at the Table brought together  nationally known speakers such as Molly O’Neill, Peter Reinhart, Tom Hanchett, and local barbeque provocateur Dan Huntley. We experienced a number of thought provoking talks, a film about food and community in New Orleans, and some absolutely fantastic food.

Peter Reinhart is a professor at Johnson & Wales University in Charlotte and is considered an expert on all things bread. On Saturday, he gave a talk on bread. That’s right. Bread. As Reinhart said, all writing about food is about something else, so his talk was about much more than just bread. The talk was titled, “The Leaven Factor: Bread as a Living Symbol of Who We Are as a People.” The theme was bread as a universal symbol of connectedness. I hope my thoughts here do his talk justice.

The word “companion” comes from two root words meaning “with” and “bread,” therefore a companion is “one with whom we break bread.” Breaking bread with a person means that you accept them. It also means that you are willing to share your life with them and make yourself vulnerable. As I wrote in Table As Truth, the masks come off around the table. Sharing food with another takes us out of ourselves, if only for a little while, and allows the other to get a peek behind the curtain.

The way we get bread is a metaphor for life, especially the life of faith. When the grain is ground into flour it dies. That is the first step. In leavened bread, yeast is then added. Yeast is a living thing that brings life to the flour. As the yeast works, the flour is transformed into dough. The dough rises and is kneaded into the shape the baker wants. Then the dough is placed into the oven to be baked. During the baking process there again is death. The yeast is killed by the heat of the oven so the bread can bake without growing anymore.

After the bread has baked, it is then ready to be a source of nourishment. The death in the baking process is necessary in order for the bread to be something that is good to eat. I don’t know too many people that eat dough on a regular basis. It just doesn’t seem to have the same appeal as a warm loaf of bread. Henri Nouwen, in Life of the Beloved, speaks of the bread used in communion and how it is taken, blessed, broken, and given. The bread must be broken before it can be given.

Life as a follower of Jesus is much the same. Jesus said that whoever wants to find their life must first lose it. We must die to our own ambitions, to our own way of living life, in order to be made alive in Christ. I don’t see much in Scripture that tells us to come to Christ so all our problems will be solved, with everything we ever wanted in this life there for the taking. Jesus simply says, “Follow me,” and then lets us know that doing so means we give everything else up. In dying to ourselves, we find that we have true, abundant life. It doesn’t stop there though. The dying process is not a one time thing. Jesus calls us to take up our cross every day. That’s more than just carrying a burden through life. As we go through our our day-to-day, we are called to die to what we want and do what our Lord wants. Like the dough in the oven, we die in order to be something that nourishes others. Like the communion bread, we are broken in order that we might be given. In the process, we are transformed, like the dough, into something that brings life to those who taste and glory to the One who shapes us and “bakes” us.

Let us not despise the grinding of the mill, the heat of the oven, or our brokenness. We can be assured that they are forming Christ within us and indeed making us bread for the world.

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The Larger Story

This past summer, when the wildfires hit Colorado, John Eldredge and a friend were having a meal together. They were discussing the fires and the possibility of being directly affected. They talked about what they thought Jesus was saying through everything. They both said, “Trust the Larger Story.”

This is a good thing to do throughout life in general. We live in a world that is broken, and we deal with broken people. Not only that, we are broken ourselves. Stuff happens in our day-to-day lives and all around the world. Not a day goes by that we don’t hear or read about tragedy and death. Sometimes we are the ones experiencing those things. We get sick, jobs are lost, friends disappoint. Sometimes we just struggle with living. But, that is not the whole story.

The story is not about us. We are not the heroes. We are living in God’s story, the story of a Kingdom and the restoration of all creation. It is a much larger story that spans eternity. We are in that story, and we all have a part to play, whether big or small. It is that story that gives us hope and encouragement.. The thing we need to do is take our eyes off ourselves and focus on Jesus and what he is doing. That’s the hard part. We tend to be so wrapped up in what is happening to us in that moment that we forget that there is more going on than what we can see with our limited vision.

A few weeks ago, Dan Edelen at Cerulean Sanctum wrote a good post about Romans 8:28. In this post he spoke of the good for which God works all things, and the fact that the things that happen to us don’t always seem to fit into this verse. Dan asks,

“What if the Creator’s intention for ‘those who love God’ isn’t primarily for the individual crushed by circumstance? What if the ‘those’ consists of the greater mass of Christendom?”

 What if the intention is for the overall good of the Kingdom? The early church believed that the Kingdom spread through their suffering, just as it had been inaugurated in Jesus’ suffering on the cross and his resurrection. Believers who have suffered for Christ through the centuries have understood this. Here in the West we have a hard time grasping this concept. Our vision of our faith is extremely personal.

Remember that the Larger Story began long before any of us arrived, and it will continue to be played out long after this life is over. It is a story that is about the Creator and the love he has for his creation. That story will come to its climax. Perhaps then, we will look back at our part in the play and say, “Now I understand.”

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Repost: Even More

This was originally posted on January 15, 2008:

During a time of prayer one night in January, 2006, a friend told me that he saw me going through a time of winter. He saw snow swirling around, deeper and deeper, and wolves howling around the door. I thought, “Great! I just came out of the desert, and now I’m going to experience winter?” So, I was left wondering what was going to happen next.

The next few months were relatively uneventful. Mom continued to get worse and things were tight financially (but that wasn’t new). Things were unsettled in the church we served in. I felt a sense that things were changing, that God was doing something. What was happening, I had no idea, but there was a sense of anticipation and disquiet.

The year wore on, with Mom getting worse and worse, and Dad beginning to wear under the strain. In August, Dad had to make the decision to not do anything more to prolong Mom’s life, and we contacted hospice to come and help Mom be comfortable, and at the end of August Mom passed from this life into the presence of the Father. While we were grieving, we were also relieved that Mom was no longer suffering and was now more alive than ever. The next month was busy with helping my dad with some of the stuff resulting from Mom’s passing, and going with him to my nephew’s soccer games.

At the end of September, thirty-three days after Mom died, I drove my dad to a soccer game. The day seemed perfectly normal. Then, it all fell apart. At halftime of the game, Dad had a massive heart attack and joined Mom in the presence of Jesus. It was a huge shock, and something that knocked me for a loop.

I’ll try to finish this tomorrow.

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Dead, Yet Alive

Those of you who have read this blog over the past three or four months know that one of the topics I wrote a fair amount on was death. Death to self, dying for others. Those posts came out of some recent experiences, and as I was thinking about them the other day, I was concerned that I may have come across as a bit morose. Over the last couple of months, I have learned a few things. Believe it or not, I am still very much a work in progress and am continually learning.

The biggest thing that I am learning is the difference between what so many of us see as living, and what Scripture tells us about life. Many people (Christians included) see life as all about getting as much stuff as you can. That stuff can be money and possessions, or career satisfaction and success. It can be friends and followers, or family. It can be any number of things. The prosperity gospel preachers tell us that if we just have faith, God will give us a life filled with health and wealth, and devoid of problems. Some preachers preach that if we just love everyone, our lives will be filled with friends. Many evangelicals preach that if we follow a number of steps (based on the Bible of course) we will have great marriages, successful children, and a joyous life. Even those who look on horrified at all those things teach that if we keep all the rules our life will be wonderful.

In John 10:10, Jesus states that he came so we could have an abundant life. There are many places in Scripture where a life of following Jesus is presented as the ultimate way to live. Jesus says in Luke 17:33 that those who lose their lives for his sake will find life. In Luke 18, Jesus states that those who give up family, etc. to follow him will receive those things back, and then some. Jesus does call us to come and die. He also says that dying is the way to real, abundant life. The problem comes when we expect that abundant life to include lots of friends, success in our endeavors, good health, enough money to do anything we want, or anything else we think will make us happy. We are like those described by C.S. Lewis in Weight of Glory, “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”  

We tend to see life in terms of what we can see and touch, when the life Jesus offers us rises far above the mundane things of this life. We are far too easily pleased. We set our sights on things that will pass away and miss the eternal pleasures the Father has for us right now. I wonder how many of those who believe God is in the business of giving them whatever they want believe that they will have those things in the new heavens and new earth. I hope none of us really believe that the things of this earth are the things that count. We do act like it many times.

As Christ calls us to die, let us remember that he also calls us to live. Live in him.  

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World Vision Wednesday

The creation of the nation of South Sudan has not ended the violence in that part of the world. Many of humanitarian organizations have left the town of Bentui, near the border of Sudan and South Sudan. World Vision is one of those organizations that have moved away, although the humanitarian efforts continue. For more, go here.

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My Week

The past seven days have been pretty busy. There were the usual work related goings-on, family happenings, etc. There were more significant things that happened as well. One of the events was life changing, and the other was different.

Our son was married this past weekend. We held the rehearsal and dinner at the local camp where we work. There was barbecue, baked beans, cole slaw, and cobbler. It was a busy day, setting up and taking down, driving to pick up the meat, and cooking. Everyone had a good time. The wedding was Sunday. Josh and Alicia were married in the evening in an old dairy barn that has been converted into a venue for different events. Jan and I went there to help decorate in the afternoon, and back for the ceremony. It was a beautiful time. The food at the reception was delicious, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

We spent Monday recovering and visiting with relatives who came in for the wedding. Tuesday found me home with a bad head cold. Wednesday morning, I received a phone call from the pastor of the church we have been gathering with, telling me that a young woman in the church had passed away that morning. The church was going to gather that night to share a meal, to sing some hymns, to share memories, and to pray and encourage one another. It was an interesting experience, because I had never been part of a church gathering for that purpose. I’d been to funerals, taken dinner to grieving families, and stood around and talked at viewings. This was the first time I had been at a gathering of a church like that. It was…well, it was like a family gathering. It was like the brothers and sisters, uncles and cousins, had gathered to comfort each other and pay their respects to their departed loved one. As I thought about it later, it hit me. This is what church is supposed to be. We are family! We have the same Father, the same older Brother. We are brothers and sisters. So why wouldn’t we gather as a family when something like this happens? So many Christians say that they are family with other Christians, but the reality is far different (maybe it’s because there are so many dysfunctional examples out there).

The gathering Wednesday night was family. The gathering I had with a brother in Christ at a local pub the next night was also family. We met for dinner and a couple of pints, and spent the next few hours sharing our lives and encouraging each other. Again, that’s what family does. That’s what church is. It doesn’t have to be in a particular building, at a particular time, on a particular day. It is wherever and whenever the children of God get together to encourage each other and share the Father’s love.

I think we may have found our family.

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World Vision Wednesday

“For the past month or so, Uganda has seen attention in the media and among the American public that it hasn’t experienced in several years, thanks to the viral video phenomenon ‘Kony2010.'” 


The danger to the children of Uganda is not over, however. Check this out to find out more.

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Come and Die

One the things that has become a tradition for us is the annual Good Friday Stations of the Cross here in Rock Hill. This year the event was held on the campus of the university in town. It is always a meaningful time. This year was more special than others.

This past year has not been the best for Jan and me. There have been some very good things happen, but also some things that are not good at all. This year has seen us experience the death of two communities of faith we were involved in, the second after only a few months. In the last three months we have also gone through the very messy death of what we thought was a close friendship. All of these things added to the usual stresses of life have been hard for both of us, but especially hard on me.

Today, I had the opportunity to help carry the cross from the first station to the second. As I was walking along, I could sense Jesus saying to me, “This is what I want you to do.” I have read the verse where Jesus says that anyone who follows him must take up their cross, but this was the first time it had hit home that Jesus meant me. I am the one who is to take up my cross and die. It’s a fine concept to think about, to debate, and to teach, but I’m finding that actually taking the idea and living it is not easy at all. In a sense, I have died a little bit this year. To be honest, it hurts. It is one of the hardest things one could go through.

As I continued on the walk this afternoon through the different stations, I was again struck by the realization that Jesus knows exactly what I have gone through, because he has experienced the same thing to a much greater extent. In Gethsemane, he agonized over the death he was facing, asking the Father if there was any other way. Recognizing that the cross was the only way, he faced it. Fortunately, that was not the end. After death came resurrection. Jesus conquered death and brought life. As he said, a seed must go into the ground and die before it can yield a harvest.

After the walk, as I sat at the foot of the cross and reflected on what Jesus had said to me, I knew that he has called me to come and die. But as the song below states, he “bids me come and die and find that I may truly live.” There can be no joy on Sunday morning without the pain and death of Friday. There is no resurrection without death. There is no salvation without the cross.

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Which Jesus?

A few years ago Todd Agnew wrote a son in which he asked the question, “Which Jesus do you follow?” It’s a good question.

In the first century, some folks followed Jesus because they thought he was the one who was going to overthrow the Romans and restore the glory of Israel. Today, some follow a Jesus who is either going to bring America back to God (with their help, of course), or one who will bring social justice and equality to America. In the first century, some followed Jesus because they saw in him a good teacher. Today, there are many who follow a Jesus who said good things, and who left us a good moral example to follow.

When Jesus was here on earth, there were some who followed him because he rattled the cages of the religious elite. Today, there are those who follow a Jesus who is anti-anything except a free-lance expression of faith. When Jesus walked in physical form, there were many (perhaps the largest number) who followed him because he fed them, he healed them, he took care of them. It seems like the many folks who follow Jesus today follow a Jesus who will give them whatever they want, as long as they have enough faith to say it and then claim it. Some of those blatantly tell others that God wants them to be wealthy, healthy, good looking, successful, etc., and all they have to do is speak it into existence. Others will start out with the teaching that Jesus has accomplished it all and we live by God’s grace and not our own efforts. That is a good teaching, by the way. We are saved, and we do live by God’s grace and Jesus’ finished work. But then these teacher go on to say that because of Jesus finished work, we can now claim anything we want. It may be a successful business, a nice car or house, younger looking features, good health, lots of money, or just a life without any problems. They teach that we can speak these things into existence, and that if there is anything that goes goofy in life, it has to be the work of satan along with a lack of faith.

Now, I will be the first to say that God does bless people with wealth, health, etc. There have certainly been many wealthy and successful followers of Christ through the centuries. If you take a careful look at Jesus’ call to follow him though, you’ll find that he deliberately makes it difficult for those who are with him for what they can get. In fact, many of them leave him when they realize he’s not what they thought. Some of them turned against him and called for his death. Jesus call to follow him is an invitation to lose our life, to die. As C.S. Lewis said, God doesn’t want to simply move in and renovate the house. He wants to tear the house down and rebuild it. Jesus said that those who would find their life must lose it. He also said that the greatest love was to lay down our lives for our friends, as he did for us.

Following Jesus means dying. Dying to our old way of thinking and living. Dying to the things of this world. Dying to our own desires and wishes. The Psalmist says that if we delight in the Lord, he will give us the desires of our heart. I believe that means if we delight in God, he will give us more of what we delight in – himself. When you think about it, God is all we need. Anything else is just dessert.