Category: Faith

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Blast From the Past: Out of the Cave, Into the…

This was first posted on February 6, 2012. The healing process had begun.

Some of you have read my recent post about finding myself in a cave. I’m now out of the cave, although still not far from the entrance. I now find myself in the middle of a thicket, sort of like a stand of rhododendron or mountain laurel, so thick that you cannot see out of it. It is still somewhat dark, and the direction I should take is unclear. I see many paths out, but don’t know yet which one to take.

There is the path that would take me back into the church world I left a few years ago. Next to it is the path that would take me to the land of the mega-church. Here I could find a place to hide and lick my wounds. One path seems to go in circles, and looks as if it would leave me no better off. Yet another way out continues in the search for community. That is the path that interests me the most, and the way that I have learned most about in the last couple of days.

You see, I have learned something about community, and about myself. I think I’m beginning to learn why I spent time in the dark cave. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a pretty laid back individual, but that when I am passionate about something, I tend to go all out. As I learned more and more about the God’s desire for his children to live as brothers and sisters because of Christ, I became more and more passionate with living in community. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community.” As I look back on the past year, and my desire to have and fight for community, I realize I inadvertently pushed it too hard and may have been part of the cause of its destruction. I know that my heart was good, but I think I may have wanted community so badly that I didn’t see the problems that it was causing. Even though I tried to sacrificially love those around me, I think that I didn’t leave room for God to work, thinking that as long as we spent enough time together, growth and maturity would automatically happen.

I now realize that community is something that has to happen naturally, as God’s people learn to love one another. It is something that cannot be forced, and the Holy Spirit must be the one to form it rather than humans whose motives can be tainted by our own needs. I also realize that a particular form of community may not last as long as I think, and that I need to be willing to let it go when it is time. For those of you reading this who have been on the receiving end of my misguided efforts, I am sorry. I put the ideal of community ahead of my brothers and sisters. I was wrong.

As to what is next in this journey along the back roads, only God knows. I know that Jan and I still desire to share our lives with some fellow Christ-followers. I also know that it may not take any form that we expect. It may be in a regular gathering. It may take place in just getting together with one or two who share our desire. What I also know is that I want it to be something that happens as Christ’s Spirit moves, not when I think it should happen.

I’m learning to trust my Father. As I leave the thicket, I want to be hear my Shepherd’s voice and follow him wherever he leads, whenever he leads, and to whatever he leads. I would appreciate your prayers.

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Without Defect

In Leviticus 21, the Israelites are given the instructions that any of the descendants of Aaron who had any defect at all, even something as minor as a broken bone, could not offer any gifts or sacrifices to God. I don’t know about you, but if that passage was all I had to go by, I’d feel pretty hopeless. Seeing as how I’ve had a few broken bones, including a little toe that is still crooked, I wouldn’t come close to being able to come into God’s presence.

When you think about it, none of us are qualified to give anything to God. We are all born with a serious defect that we can’t get rid of. That defect, sin, is far worse than a broken bone. A broken leg can possibly heal on its own, but we can do nothing to heal our sin. So, we are up the proverbial creek without a paddle or even a canoe.

There is also the problem of not making the grade as far as how others see us. We spend our entire lives trying to measure up, to parents, friends, spouses, employers, or any number of people in our lives. Many times we fail. We are seen as defective, unworthy. But we keep trying because we want to be be accepted, we want to be loved. That is true whether we are talking about people or about God.

Fortunately, there is someone who has no defect, who is absolutely sinless and perfect. Because Jesus took our sin on him and has taken it away, his acceptability is now ours. We can now approach the Creator of the universe with boldness, knowing that he sees us as he sees Jesus, as spotless. That also means that we are not bound by attempting to appear as if we have it all together. Ultimately it doesn’t matter what others think of us because God himself calls us his beloved children. If we are without defect in the eyes of God, wouldn’t it be a a good idea to live in that knowledge and stop trying to prove ourselves worthy. We have nothing to prove, nothing to do to make ourselves worthy.

That has already been done. Believe it. Live it.

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Church Signs: “The Bible is Chock Full of…

…New Year’s Resolutions. “

I’m not against making resolutions at the beginning of a new year (although I don’t make them), and I’m definitely not against the Bible. I do have a problem with trying to mix the two. It is true that there are commands in the Bible and we are told that there are certain things that characterize followers of Jesus.

Trying to improve in certain areas of our lives is a good thing. As an athlete, I was always trying to improve my skills. As a coach, I never let my players rest on past accomplishments. In many careers, if you’re not improving, you’re going backwards. It’s good to try to be a better husband, father, etc. There is nothing wrong with trying to be a better human being.

Where I differ from what seems like most of American Christianity, is seeing the story of the Bible as a story, not of what we can or need to do, but of what God has done. A great deal of evangelical preaching is on how to be a better (fill in the blank). Fundamentalist preaching is about what we need to do to stay “right with God.” I beg to differ with both.

That kind of preaching can be inspirational, but it is not the gospel. The gospel is not about what we can do. It is about what Christ has done. Ultimately, there is nothing we can do to improve our standing with God, nothing we can do to make him love us. All we can do is put our total trust in the finished work of Christ on the cross. There is no amount of resolutions that can ultimately make us what we already are in Christ.

Again, let me emphasize that I am not against making resolutions, having goals, or trying to improve in areas of our lives. I can think of more than a few areas where I can use some improvement. I just don’t see the “gospel” of self improvement in Scripture. Your mileage may differ. Feel free to disagree.

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Church Signs: Show God Your Faith…

…and He Will Show You His Faithfulness.

I saw this sign the other day on my bus route and my first thought was, “Boy am I glad God showing his faithfulness to me doesn’t depend on my faith.” Unfortunately that is the message that seems to come from many sides of the Christian world, from the prosperity preachers who say that if you have enough faith God will give you anything you want, to those who will tell you that if you are living right God will reward you.

It’s so easy for us to want to think that we can somehow earn God’s faithfulness. We want to pretend that we have some sort of goodness that will induce God to show his favor to us. We think if we pray (ask, seek, knock) hard enough and long enough, God will do what we want. Been there, done that. I can remember being absolutely convinced that if I really, really believed that God would let me have a certain job then I would get it. Well, God had something completely different in mind, but the initial disappointment was enough to knock me back a bit on my faith journey.

Sometimes we think that our good behavior will convince God to be faithful. That one doesn’t work either. Of course, maybe it’s because I haven’t behaved too well, at least according to some. Reading the Bible and praying more than another won’t make God sit up and take notice of us so he can reward us. Most of the time, that way of thinking will only turn us into insufferable bores.

God shows his faithfulness to us because he is a loving and faithful Father. At the cross, our sin was taken care of  and Christ’s righteousness was given to us. We became children of God who have the same standing as Jesus. As the Father is faithful to the Son, so the Father is faithful to us. This faithfulness doesn’t depend on us, but depends soley on our position in Christ.

Maybe part of our problem is we have somehow gotten the notion that it’s all about us, about our ideas and wants. Like little children, we want what we want and have a hard time with what we consider “inferior.” We have a hard time trusting our Father to be faithful, even when he has shown his faithfulness again and again. I know I have had to relearn that lesson multiple times.

Should we pray and tell God our desires? Absolutely. Should we live in a way that glorifies God? Of course. But, we shouldn’t fall into the trap of thinking those things will cause God to smile on us. Instead, we should trust our Father to be faithful and trust that everything he does is good and loving. The more we can put our trust in our Abba, the more freely we can live, knowing that we are being taken care of by the One who created everything.

God will show you his faithfulness. Period.

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Word for the Year: Love

Every year, I try to pick a word to focus on for that year. Two years ago it was grace, and last year’s word was trust. I have learned a lot about receiving and extending grace and I have learned to trust God and people a bit more, although I am still very much a work in progress in both of those areas.

My word for this year is love. I chose it because I realize how far short I fall in loving. I think I do a decent job of loving those who love me. I can generate good, warm feelings toward my family and friends. I can even treat others with respect. Where I want to focus is that self-sacrificing love with which Jesus loved us.

I want to love Jan as Jesus loves his bride, the church. I want to give myself up for her more and more. I want to treasure her as she is, a person with a God given dignity all her own. That means I have to listen and not be in a hurry to get back to what I was doing. That means I have to not take her for granted and realize every moment how much she means to me.

I want to love others as Jesus has loved me. I want to see others as made in the image of God, whether they are a part of my Tribe or not. That means I have to stop judging others, even those who are guilty of judging. That means I have to truly see others as my Father does and treat them with the respect I want to be given.

I want love to become my defining characteristic. That means I have to lay down my life, my wishes and desires, for the good of other people. That means I have to be a servant, as Jesus was. That is scary, because I have no idea how that will all shake out. I also know that I will fail, at times miserably, so I ask forgiveness in advance.

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Another Year? Already?

Every year about this time, we do the same thing. We say goodbye to one year and hello to another. It seems like 2015 just zipped right on by. As I get older, the days seem to pass much more quickly. I have read that it has something to do with the fact that a particular period of time is a smaller percentage of the whole life span of an older person. Makes sense to me.

I’ve never been one to make a resolutions at the beginning of a year. I don’t seem to be able to keep them, so I just don’t make them. That way, I’m not disappointed. I’m beginning to realize that there are fewer years left in my life than there used to be. Unless medical science comes up with some miracles, I’m more than halfway through. So, at the beginning of a new year I look back at the past year and look ahead to the one ahead.

My focus has changed from career and financial goals. There is only so much you can do when you’re semi-retired and not earning a boatload of money. Those things are not all that important in the long run anyway. The things that are becoming more and more important are my walk with Jesus, my wife and family, and my friends.

Have I become a little more like Jesus in the past year? Have I loved Jan as Christ loved his church? Have I made her feel treasured? Have I been a good father and friend to my adult children and their spouses? Have I loved my friends and been willing to lay down my life for them? Have they been helped in their spiritual journey by what they have seen in me?

These are the things I think about. This is how I want to be in the year ahead. I know that, as with resolutions, there will be successes and miserable failures. I hope the important people in my life will be patient and forgiving.

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Stuck in the Middle

Warning: Political post ahead.

Back in the 70s, Stealers Wheel had a hit song titled, “Stuck in the Middle With You.” Now, I am not going to refer to any particular presidential candidate or candidates with, “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.” Although, the process of picking a nominee does seem to be a circus.

It seems that politics in the United States has become more polarized over the last thirty years. Both major parties have moved further to the right or further to the left, and the middle seems to be a no–man’s land where few dare to go. So many campaigns for public office are telling voters how terrible the candidate on the other side is rather than presenting positive policy ideas. Policy debate often devolves into attacking the other side in order to win.

Politics has become more and more like a war, where one side is trying to gain ground and ultimately defeat the other side. There is little room for working with those across the aisle with a willingness to take the best ideas from all sides in order to actually govern.

What really bothers me is what I see on social media and hear from those who call themselves followers of the King of Kings. I have no problem with Christians being involved in politics, but when you see and hear some of the nasty and unloving things that some Christians say about those who disagree with them, it seems that some have forgotten that their allegiance is to be given to Jesus Christ, not to a person or party. There are many examples of political parties saying what Christians want to hear, and then disappointing those Christians by neglecting to follow through.

I believe there is a middle way in much of what is facing the country today. Many of the problems do not lend themselves to easy answers and could use ideas from many sources. I also believe that this would be a good way for Christians to be involved. Instead of working for the benefit of a party or ideology, maybe we could do the hard work of asking how the Kingdom of God would tackle the problem. Admittedly many things that government does are exclusive to a kingdom of this world, but there are areas where Kingdom values can be brought to bear.

At the very least, we who follow the Prince of Peace can keep our political leanings from causing us to vilify those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ.

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A Sestina for Christmas

This is one of my earliest attempts at poetry from a few years ago.

It’s the time of year we call Christmas
A time we spend with friends and family
It’s a time for us to worship
We worship a baby
Who was born in a stable
But do we worship the King?

The child who came was born a King
Do we just see a baby?
Who do we worship?
During the time we spend with family
In this season of Christmas
Who do we see in the stable?

It was strange there in the stable
Not the usual place for the birth of a King
But there was the baby
His mother welcomed him to the family
We call this Christmas
Who do we worship?

There is only one worthy of worship
He lay in a stable
Surrounded by his family
At Christmas
We too often forget the King
And focus on the baby

It is wondrous that he was a baby
Born in a humble stable
So we celebrate at Christmas
Who do we worship?
A King?
Or an infant in a human family?

Yes, part of a human family
Born a baby
In a stable
He is more. He is King
He is worthy of worship
At Christmas

As we celebrate Christmas, surrounded by family
Remember that we worship much more than a baby
Born in a stable. We worship the King!

Merry Christmas!

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Birthday Reflections

As of today, I have completed my sixth decade on this earth. I remember, when I was young thinking that sixty was so old. I don’t feel that way anymore, except when I get out of bed in the morning.

It’s been an interesting journey so far. As a wise man once said, “What a long, strange trip it’s been.” It’s not been a story for the ages, although there have been many moments that were memorable, at least to me. As I look back I see a life that was just a little bit outside of what some would call normal. Of course, what is normal?

Like everyone, I have had highs and lows. I have been married to a wonderful woman for thirty five years now and that union continues to be a high. My two beautiful children are happily married and are making their own way in the world. Looking back I see that my family has always been the best part of my life. I have had good jobs and bad jobs. I have lost good jobs and bad jobs. While I never got what I thought was the dream job, I’ve always had the sense that I was in the right place, even if I was there in order to learn some lessons. I have had good friends through the years. Some continue as friends, others have been lost and replaced by better friends.  I have been hurt by people and learned to forgive. I have hurt people and I hope they have forgiven me. I have learned from each of them.

I have traveled through the Christian landscape, from fundamental Baptist circles where I didn’t quite fit in, to a small Presbyterian church where I feel love and acceptance. Along the way I dabbled in Reformed Baptist, non-denominational, simple, and house churches. I have been fed up with church and ready to call it quits. I have gone from being an advocate of attractional worship that uses music to bring in a crowd, to believing that it is in intimate community that we really are formed into the likeness of Jesus.

As the years have gone by, I have become far less convinced that politics can make lasting change, and far more convinced that being an agent of Jesus’ Kingdom is the only thing that can. I have grown less tolerant of those who are convinced that their way is the only way, and that those who disagree are the enemy.

I have traveled the back roads on this journey. I have not been been successful in business, have not built any empires. I have not been named man of the year, or been roasted in front of a large crowd. I’m not famous. Hopefully I’m not infamous. I don’t really care about all that stuff. I do hope that I have touched some lives in a positive way, that I have made a difference in a small way, that others have seen a bit of Jesus in me.

Sixty years. It does seem like a long time. But, it’s not enough. In many ways it feels like the start, like there’s much more out there. Maybe with all the advances in medical science, I’ll have sixty more. Who knows?

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The Pilgrims and Community

The other night, we watched an episode of The American Experience that dealt with the Pilgrims and their settlement at Plymouth. It was interesting and brought out historical facts that will cause one to look at the whole story a bit differently.

According to the program, many of the things we have been taught about the Pilgrims, including some of their writings, are not totally accurate. It is true that we have tended to romanticize them and turn the settlement of New England into legend. It is also true that these settlers, whom we have made almost mythical characters, were actually frail humans with the same foibles and failings as the rest of us. Knowing that makes their story all the more interesting and inspiring.

One of the striking characteristics of the Pilgrims was their desire to live life together in community. They attempted to follow Jesus as the early church did and developed a love for and commitment to one another. The Pilgrims were not perfect in their attempt to be the church. They were suspicious of outsiders who did not see things the same. They were forced to accept non-Separatists as part of their settlement. Like most people of the time, they saw the Native Americans as savages. They succumbed to the temptation to close ranks and focus on themselves, rather than reach out to those around them and be a blessing to them.

Jan and I are part of a faith community that attempts to live our lives together and disciple one another. We too are not perfect and sometimes our attempts at being the church falter. Other times they move forward in fits and starts. It is a messy business and sometimes we hurt and are hurt. Most of us seem determined to stick with it because we believe it is the best way to live this life as followers of Jesus. Learning more about the Pilgrims’ community helps me have hope.

In spite of the frailty and failings of the Plymouth settlers, some great things came from them. The Mayflower Compact was an example of people who thought differently coming together to form a community. The persistence of the Pilgrims made the later settling of New England possible. While they may have been fallible humans, their strong faith is inspiring. In spite of the messiness of their community, the Pilgrims were greatly used by God.

I need to remember that God can do great things in and through our community, as well as other communities, in spite of the times we fail and fall on our faces. Don’t give up. You never know how God is going to us you.