Category: God

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Letting Go Part 2

I think I must be hardheaded or something. It seems that God had to slow me down a bit more in order to teach me that I am not the one in charge here. A week ago, I lifted a box containing softball uniforms and felt something pop in my lower abdomen where I had hernia surgery about 12 years ago. I went to the doctor on Friday and was informed that it was a strain. Needless to say, I was relieved. Unfortunately the story doesn’t end there.

On Monday, I was informed by the personnel office of the school district that I was not supposed to work for two weeks. The doctor had written on the report that I was not allowed to do any heavy lifting, bending, stooping, etc. for two weeks. I figured it wouldn’t be a problem because I don’t do any of those things in my job. Unfortunately, because I work in special ed., there is the slight (read miniscule) possibility that I might have to do something like that. So, I was sent home until I was cleared by the doctor to come back. Normally, I wouldn’t complain too loudly about a two week vacation in March, except for the fact that I also am not allowed to coach my softball team during that time. There is another teacher in the school who was able to step in and take the team, along with my two assistants, and I am grateful for that.

The hard part for me is letting go of the team for two weeks. There are all kinds of scenarios that I can come up with while I am not there. I went to the game on Tuesday to show my support for the girls, and it was hard to sit and watch. Between that and being at home without being able to do a whole lot, it’s hard. I’m able to do a bit of work around the house and in the yard, but it’s not quite the same as doing what I get paid to do. I’ve had to slow down at a time when I’m usually pretty busy, and my temptation is to complain about it and then waste the time. I’m trying to relax and listen to the voice of my Shepherd in all of this, and trust his will. It’s not an easy thing to do, but hopefully I will learn more about letting my Father lead me and show me what he wants me to do.

There is definitely on good thing in all this. I get to watch all of the NCAA Tournament. 🙂

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Letting Go

During one of the preliminary races before the Daytona 500, Danica Patrick found herself heading into the wall. Just before she hit, Patrick took her hands off the steering wheel. It was a smart move, and possibly kept her wrists from being broken. Her Indy Car experience may have contributed to the action, as she also covered her head with her hands like she was in an open wheel car. If I had been in that situation, I would have held on to that wheel with every ounce of my strength, trying to keep control of the car. The results would have been painful.

I am learning just how much I hate letting go of control in my life. As a recovering perfectionist, I want everything to turn out right. Of course, “right” means what I want. So, in order to make sure that things turn out right, I try to be in control. At the very least, I attempt to keep my hand in what is going on. Now, this method works pretty well when you’re coaching, at least until the players get into the games. Then, the illusion of control sometimes quickly disappears. When you’re dealing with people, especially in discipleship, trying to control another person doesn’t work. Actually, trying to be the one in charge doesn’t really work in most areas of our lives.

One of the things God is teaching me is that my control of my life and the lives of others is ultimately an illusion. God is the one in control. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating a fuzzy “let go and let God” thinking. Nor am I saying that we bear no responsibility for our actions and the consequences of those actions. I do believe that there is much of our lives that is simply out of our control.

This not a reason for despair, however. For the follower of Jesus, the fact that we are ultimately not in control is actually comforting and freeing. Much of the time we worry about making sure that we say and do just the right thing so our efforts will be “successful.” If we are listening to our Shepherd and doing what he wants us to do, we can rest and leave the results up to him. We must remember that we cannot fix anyone, we cannot heal, but God can. We can be privileged to be the vessels through which God channels that healing, but even that is out of our control. We must remember that it is not up to us to make things happen. It is simply our calling to be faithful to what Jesus calls us to do.

God helps us to hear his voice, to be about doing what he calls us to do, and to leave the results in his hands.

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Awesome! Yet…

Today, one of the classes where I work watched a video on the universe. The video began by speaking of the size of the Milky Way Galaxy, and the fact that if we could fly to the sun on a commercial airliner, it would take seventeen years. That is awesome. Yet, the closest star to earth after the sun (Proxima Centauri) is 25 trillion miles from earth! A spacecraft with the speed of the Voyager would take 81,000 years to get there. Awesome!

Yet, that is just a small part of the universe. The universe is defined as all the matter and energy that exists, along with all the space in-between. The size of the observable universe is 93 billion light years. And that’s just what we can observe! Scientists say there is more of the universe beyond that, although no one knows how far it goes. Awesome!
Yet, there is a God who created all this! A God who is beyond space and time, who is “bigger” than the universe! A God who is the sovereign ruler over everything we can observe and everything we can’t. A God who is outside and yet in this universe. Awesome!
Yet, even more awesome and mind blowing is the thought that this God who created this magnificent universe and stands above it, is the same God who calls me his child, and allows me to call him Father. This God loves me with an unfathomable love that reaches beyond this world. God became one of us, so that we can become like him. He has given me the privilege of following him, and living in his love and grace. He has called me to share that love with others and let them know that they can also follow him. One day this God will set everything in the universe to rights, and will finally restore his creation. That is awesome!
Yet. No, there is no yet. There is nothing more awesome than that.