For My Beautiful Wife

Today is the thirty-third anniversary of the day I married my beautiful wife Jan. When we wed, we vowed to stick with the other through better or worse, health or sickness, etc. At the time neither of us really knew what that all entailed. As the years have passed, we’ve learned a bit of what it means to support each other in the good and the bad.

Through it all, I have been blessed to have such a gracious partner by my side. In Genesis, we are told that God thought it not good for man to be alone so he created a helper suitable (meet) for him. In the Hebrew the words translated “help meet” could be translated as a “helper who complements.” Not a helper in the sense of a servant, but a helper in the sense of a rescuer or deliverer. The word “ezer” is used of God as a deliverer. The word “k’enegdo” can be translated “against” or “opposite.” The idea is something which corresponds to, like a mirror image. So, you could say that a wife is to be a deliverer who mirrors her husband. Opposites attract right?

Jan has certainly been an ezer k’enegdo for me. She has been my deliverer by her love and loyal support. She is a complement to me and I have learned much from her through the years. I can not imagine what it would have been like without her through the moves, the job losses, the losses of my parents, and all the other ups and downs of life. As I look back over thirty-three years, I marvel at the grace of a loving Abba who knew exactly who I needed. I can’t fathom it.

Jan, it’s been an absolutely wonderful journey together these thirty-three years. I can’t imagine life with anyone else, and I pray the Father gives us many more years together. You are a tremendous blessing to me. I love you.

What’s Neglected in Worship

This morning, Josh turned me on to this article on the tendency of the church to neglect the reality of tragedy as a part of worship, instead turning to a form that gives the impression that the Christian life is all sweetness and light. I wonder if we try to forget the stuff of life in our worship because we really don’t trust God to redeem every part of our life, and don’t really believe God’s heart is good toward us.

Identity

I spoke to our school’s chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes yesterday morning. The seats were filled. Well, one seat was filled. Anyway, as I was preparing what I wanted to say, I was reminded of some of what God has been teaching me over the past few years.

Like most folks, I have always gained my identity and my sense of worth from the things I did, or didn’t do in some cases. I was involved in sports at an early age, and by the time I entered high school I had turned into a pretty decent athlete. I had also been taught that, as a Christian, I was defined by what I did or didn’t do and where I went or didn’t go. As I entered my high school years, I more defined myself by the standards of my friends more than the standards of my church. Through college I was defined as a bit of a rebel, and also one who was training for “full time Christian work” (whatever that is). I began a career as a teacher and coach, and my identity became that. I was called “Coach,” and I loved it. I was also teacher, athletic director, bus driver, Sunday School teacher, worship leader, deacon, and elder through the years. Add to that son, husband and father, and you can see that my identity was tied up in  a lot of things.

A few years ago, God decided it was time to change my identity. My job went away, so I was no longer a lot of the things I had been previously. I spent a few months driving a shuttle bus at an army base. This job gave me a lot of time to read, think, and pray. I did get a job in another school as an instructional assistant. Both parents passed away. After a time we left the church we had been in for fourteen years to help start a new church. So now I was a “church planter,” so to speak. That lasted a couple of years and we formed a small fellowship with some folks out of that first group. In some ways, I was sort of a pastor, without the title. I was also a member of a community of faith. Those things became what I based my identity on. Within just a few months, that “church” crashed and burned, and with it went the idols I had set up. It was not a fun time.

Fast foward just over a year. We are now part of a community of faith where there is love and service that comes from hearts that have been changed by the Gospel. I am doing some teaching, and am coaching. I am still a husband and a father. But now, I realize that my identity, my self worth is not grounded in those things. The Father has taught me that my identity, the very core of who I am, is grounded in his love for me, and in what Christ has done for me. There are things I do. I teach a couple of Bible studies. I disciple others. I coach sports. I serve my wife as a husband, and I do what a father of grown up adults needs to do. However, that is not who I am.

I am a beloved child of the Ruler of all things. He is pleased with me. I am a co-heir with Christ of all the riches of eternity. As Paul wrote in his letter to the Galatians, I have died with Christ, but I live. It’s not me that lives though. It is Jesus Christ living in me. I don’t totally understand all the particulars of what that means theologically, but I do know that it means that my identity is in the King of Kings. No matter what happens, no matter what I do, that does not change. I can do all sorts of good things, or not. The fact remains that I am a child of God. Period. End of discussion.  

Repost: The Only Thing We Have To Fear is Fear…

This was first posted on March 5, 2008.

…and yet we live in fear. Parents fear that something is going to happen to their children. Children fear that something is going to happen to their family. Democrats and Republicans both fear that the other party is going to win the White House. Christians on the right fear losing the “culture war”. Christians on the left fear the right being an influence. Some fear being deprived of their freedoms, others fear the influence of “the world”. Ministers fear that their ministries will fail.
We fear the future, and we fear the results of past actions. At some level, we all fear failure. We don’t want to not measure up, to not please God.

I’ve been reading Following Jesus by N.T. Wright and Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places by Eugene Peterson, and one of the things they both emphasize is that fear is not to be a part of the Christian’s life. We are children of the God who raised Jesus from the dead. The fact that Jesus is raised from the dead changes everything. It means that God is in control, that no matter what happens, God is making all things right. His Kingdom is coming and His will is going to be done on earth as it is in heaven.

We are also children of a God who has loved us with an everlasting love, and has shown us an infinite amount of grace. Because of this love and grace, we can be sure of the promise that God will work everything out for the purpose of making us into the image of Jesus. The Apostle John tells us that this perfect love drives out fear. God’s grace is free and is inexhaustible. There is nothing we can do to earn God’s favor and there is nothing we can do to drive His favor away.

Think about it. We don’t have to live in fear. The resurrection of Jesus and the grace God has shown us mean that God is going to work in us and all of His children. We don’t have to worry when our spiritual growth is not where we think it should be, or when someone else’s growth is not where we think it should be. We can live freely, knowing that our Father loves us and takes everything in our lives and works in and through that. Even when we screw up, God’s grace is still ours and His Spirit is still working.

I want to live a life that is free of fear. I want to totally depend on God’s grace and His resurrection power. I want to sin boldly and trust God even more boldly, to paraphrase Martin Luther.

Repost: Hi. My Name’s Fred and I’m a…

First posted on February 17, 2009.
 
…recovering Pharisee. There should be a group named P.A. (Pharisees Anonymous). I would join. Growing up in fundamentalism, I was taught that the only ones who were right were independent fundamental Baptist. I fully believed that. I can remember being judgemental of those that used the RSV as their Bible. After all, they left out some things that were in the King James, which we knew was the only correct interpretation. Those who baptized infants, learned catechisms, venerated saints, or believed in the “social gospel” were somewhat lesser Christians than we were, if they were Christians at all. Even in the midst of my teenage rebellion, I still believed that I had been taught THE TRUTH, and everyone who disagreed with that was wrong. The attitude persisted through Bible college and I graduated fully ready to defend the Faith.

Fast forward twenty or thirty years. Through those years God has been working in me and teaching me that many of the things I had been taught were either not Biblical at all, distinctives of a particular group, or simply cultural. I began to experience real grace for the first time as I learned that the Father loves me no matter what. He is pleased with me and there is nothing I can do to make him any more or any less pleased with me. I desire to follow Jesus out of a heart full of gratitude and love rather than a need to “stay right with God” (I did a lousy job of that).

The problem is that I still struggle with being a Pharisee. I still have a tendency to judge people. The difference is that now I am not judging liberals or any of the ones I used to judge. Now, I tend to be judgemental of other people who are judgemental. I tend to look at fundamentalists, especially independent Baptists with a much too critical eye. I am realizing more and more that this attitude is nothing less than it was when I was younger. It’s sin. I am no better than those I criticize for being critical.

I read an interview in which Brain McLaren was asked about those who criticize him and call him heretic, etc. His response was that he believed that those critics loved Jesus and were trying to follow him the best they could, and that he simply disagreed with their methods as well as some of their theology. It was one of the most gracious responses I’ve ever seen. He did not condemn them, but accepted them as brothers, even though they disagree. That’s the kind of response I want to have in my life toward those who are critical. May God grant that to all of us.

My name’s Fred and I’m try to leave Phariseeism behind.

Let’s Dance

The Trinity has been described as a “divine dance.” The word in Greek is perichoresis, a word meaning to dance around. This divine dance describes the relationship between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It is a relationship of mutual love and service, a relationship in which each one is centered around the other. This can be symbolized in the triquetra and other designs that show three interlocking rings, triangles, or fish symbols. The Trinity is a relationship that gives to the other, exalts the other, and serves the other.

As we begin to follow Jesus, we are invited to join in this dance. God created us, not to give God joy, but to receive the joy that already existed within the Trinity. We join in this perichoresis, this divine dance, by centering our selves in God. We recognize that it’s not all about us, but that it is all about God. Ultimate reality can only be found in God. We are invited to play a part in that reality and join in God’s story. It’s mind blowing to think that the Creator wants us to be a part of what he is doing to restore the creation and reconcile all things.

This invitation also has implications for us as we enter into the dance. The first is realizing that our lives are to revolve around God. God is to be the sun around which we orbit. As a baby learns that the world doesn’t revolve around him, so must we. We are to be all about doing the will of the Father as Jesus was. We are to seek his interests, exalt him, and give ourselves to him. We are to love God with every fiber of our beings. As we enter more and more into this dance, we find that forgetting about ourselves and orbiting around God is a joy rather than a drudgery.

The second implication is that we must also remember that there are others who are in this dance with us. Our brothers and sisters in Christ are dancing as well, and those who haven’t come to faith in Christ are to be invited to join us. That means that in our relationships with other people, we are not to expect them to orbit around us. We do not expect them to give to us, build us up, or serve us. The opposite is true. As we dance, we recognize that we are to orbit around them. Their interests, their needs, their good is what we are to be about. This means we are to forget about ourselves. That is a hard thing to do. Our natural tendency is to make sure that we get ours, and then maybe we’ll give to others. We do this with our money, most obviously. We also do this with our time and energy, and our talents and gifts.

I believe this lack of dancing correctly is a major reason why churches are ineffectual, and why community is so hard to find. A group of folks who expect everyone else to orbit around them and their interests will quickly fall into conflict and will cease to exist. It is only in the dance God has called us to that we can truly find the love and acceptance we all desire. It is only when we forget ourselves and dance in our orbits around God and around others, that we find joy. The old children’s song that spelled “joy” as Jesus, others, and you, was actually pretty much on the money. That is the dance, moving in and out, around and around, in a constant relationship of mutual love and service.

Lets dance!

Repost: Who Are You?


This was first posted on May 7, 2009.

I’m sure many of you remember the story of Ferdinand the bull. Ferdinand was a bull in Spain who was unlike all the other bulls. While the other young bulls were doing normal bull things, Ferdinand was content to sit in the shade of a cork tree and smell the flowers. Even when some tried to make Ferdinand act more like a normal bull, he remained true to what he was and lived out his days sitting in the shade and smelling flowers. The book ends with, And he was very happy.”
As I listened to the story this morning, I thought about the lessons that followers of Jesus can draw from this story. We can be pulled many different ways by those who want us to conform to their image of what a Christian should be. Some will say that we should adhere to a particular set of doctrines and rules in order to be “right with God.” Others will say that we should belong to a particular political party and subscribe to a certain political philosophy. Still others will say that we should just keep our beliefs private and not let our practice leak outside the church walls.
When Jesus called his disciples, he didn’t call each one of them to follow him exactly the same way. He called fishermen, a tax collector, even a political radical. While they all learned the same things, how those things worked out in their lives and ministries was different for each one. Some were called to give the Gospel to Jews, others to Greeks and Romans, still others to India and other places outside the Roman Empire.
So it is today. Jesus calls us to give everything up and follow him. That means different things for different people. Some are called to turn from their reliance on material things and use their wealth to help others, while others are called to sell everything and live as one of the poor. Some are called to teach, others are called to serve behind the scenes. Some are called to be giants of faith, and others are called to have faith in the midst of their doubts. Some are called to have great, well known ministries, while others are called to work in obscurity, waiting to hear the Master say, “Well done.” Most of us will fall somewhere in the middle.
The worst thing we can do is try to follow Jesus exactly the same way that (insert name here) does, or try to follow in a way prescribed for us by others. If we truly believe that Jesus has given his Spirit to teach us and guide us, then the One whose opinion we should seek is the One who is presented to us in the Gospels.
Be encouraged on your journey. Jesus has promised to teach us the way the he wants us to follow him. That path will take us places that others are not going to visit, and it may well leave us open to criticism from those who don’t understand our journey. It doesn’t matter, because in the end, what counts is the approval of the One who loves us and gave his life for us.

Thoughts on Les Miserables

A little while back, Jan and I went with some of our church family to see the movie, Les Miserables. We thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s one of those movies you want to see on the big screen and then want to see again on DVD because the story is so good. A lot has been said and written about the theme of grace vs. law and the triumph of grace. The movie was saturated with grace, and the embodiment of grace in Jean Valjean and law in Javert was thought provoking and emotion producing.There were a lot of tissues used, and hopefully a lot of thinking about God’s grace. My thoughts after the film, while still including grace, were a bit different than others that I heard.

There were many scenes in the film that made folks cry, and I choked up many of those times myself. However, what brought me to tears was the scene near the end when Javert dove off the bridge, finally holding on to law all the way to death and rejecting the grace that was offered. Now, keep in mind that I had not read the novel or seen any of the stage or film productions. In my wild-eyed optimism, I hoped that Javert would see the light and be transformed by grace as Jean Valjean was. It broke my heart.

My heart still breaks when I think about the many people who reject a grace that gives life and cling to law which brings death. Some don’t know any better, having been raised in religions that are all about human effort. I would include the American religion of pull yourself up by your own bootstraps self-sufficiency. Many however, should know better. There are multitudes of churches and organizations that will say they are all about grace but then proclaim rules to follow to be “right with God,” or any number of steps to be a better whatever. This includes those “ministries” who proclaim grace but then tell you what to do to have any number of “blessings” in your life.

If those things worked, churches would be full of perfect, completely fulfilled and whole people. Do you know any of those? I don’t. Law doesn’t work to bring life, whether it’s religious commands or simple human effort to get better. Our effort, whether it’s obeying regulations, following steps, or trying to have more faith, will not change us. It is only God’s grace that transforms us, making us into people who show love to others, who trust God, and who sometimes do the right thing. This comes about because the Spirit of the living God dwells in us and changes us from the inside out. We no longer live by law, but we live by grace, out of a heart consumed with love for our Father because he loves us with an unchangeable, everlasting love.

Let us reject law, with its striving and death. Let us embrace God’s grace, which does what we could never do and transforms us into the new creation God means for us to be.