Category: Life

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How Long?

This is a poem I wrote recently.

How long?
How long must parents mourn the death of children
Disease, hunger, war, or their own hand?
How long must children watch parents waste away?
Disease, dementia, or simply age
How long must families, friendships, communities be torn apart?
Selfishness and sin
How long must people and nations be destroyed?
Hatred and war
How long must the land be devastated?
Floods, tornadoes, hurricanes
How long must the earth groan?
Belching fire and tearing violently asunder
Creation is broken. It is not supposed to be this way
How long?
How long must we wait
Reunion with loved ones?
How long must we wait
Relationships set right?
How long must we wait?
Creation set right
How long must we wait?
Disease, pain, death ended
How long must we wait?
Anticipating your return
How long must we wait?
Resurrection and the death of death
We long for the way it is supposed to be

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A Passing Generation

This past Friday, my father-in-law passed from this life into the next. He had been in an assisted living facility for a year and a half after falling and breaking his hip. A little over a month ago, he celebrated his 95th birthday and it became increasingly clear that his life on this earth was nearing its end. He became unresponsive on Thursday, and on Friday took his final breath.

There has been grieving, as is normal when a loved one is no longer there, but there is also a sense of relief and a knowledge that his suffering is over and he is now completely whole and at peace. There is also a sense that things are now different, as the last of our parents has passed from the scene. This generation has been called the “greatest generation,” and there is a sense in which this is true. They defeated the greatest threat to the world up to that time, and came back to build a country that became the most influential on earth.

My father-in-law was a good example of that generation. Charlie left a small town in Iowa to move to Washington, DC and begin a career with the FBI. He began as a clerk, going to school at night to get a college degree in order to become a special agent. This career was interrupted by war and he joined the navy and served in the Pacific as a signalman on a troop transport. His ship was torpedoed by the Japanese and survived a typhoon. After returning to the US, he was promoted to special agent. He served in that position for twenty four years.

After retiring from government service, Charlie spent a few years as head of security at a local bank. I met him after he retired when I began to date his youngest daughter. From the start, I felt completely accepted. I was made to feel like part of the family. For some reason my father-in-law thought I was pretty special. When he moved into the facility in 2014, I hung some plates on his wall. I have a decent eye so I was able to hang them pretty straight without using a level. Charlie was always telling people who came in to see him that I had done such an amazing job of hanging them straight by just eyeballing them. He continually told me what a good son-in-law I was and how glad he was that I had married his daughter. He was always a huge encouragement to me..

Charlie’s sense of humor was a source of amusement for all of us. From him, we learned how a crow lights on a limb. We also learned that if you didn’t know where someone was, they were probably on a night train to Memphis, and we also learned the answer to the question, “Think all this rain will hurt the rhubarb?” (Answer: Not if it’s in cans) My father-in-law, along with my mother-in-law got along very well with my parents, so it was a joy to be able to get to together with all four of them when we visited, and later when all four moved to be near us.

Charlie Parkis is at rest with his Savior. I am grateful for the way he accepted me as if I was his son and for the encouragement he was to our family. He will be missed, but we know we will see him again some day.  

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Jesus the King: Part 3

Jesus is our Shepherd who cares for us, our leader who gave himself for us and fights for us. He is also our absolute ruler. In Matthew 7:21-23, Jesus has some pretty strong words for those who would claim to follow him. Jesus is a despot. A benevolent despot, but a despot nonetheless. He expects nothing less than total allegiance to him. It is hard for us to grasp the ramifications of this. We live in a democratic republic where we have a say. We tend too easily to give our allegiance to things of this world, whether it’s a person, party, ideology, country, church, or denomination. None of these things can come before our King. They may be good things, but they are still things of this world that will pass away.

Even those who live under dictatorships can possibly overthrow their rulers. Jesus cannot be overthrown. His power is absolute and his word is law. When he commands something, he doesn’t put it up for a referendum. His commands are so vital that they carry eternal significance. There is a bit of tension when we talk about following Jesus and then read about obeying his commands. I thought we were saved by grace, not by keeping the law. Why does Jesus give us all these commands? When you look at Jesus’ commands, they are actually quite impossible, if we try ton keep them in our own strength. That’s what makes the kingship of Jesus so different. His commands are not just a new law, a new list of do’s and don’ts. They are what Kingdom people are, how they live. Not only does our King give us commands, he also gives us the power to obey them. As we grow more and more into Kingdom people, we take Jesus’ commands more and more seriously, realizing that we can only do what he says through the power of his Spirit in us. That’s where grace comes in. Our King knows that we are weak and falter in our walk with him. He doesn’t cast us into a dungeon or out of the Kingdom. He pulls us up and reminds us of who we are.

So, what does this mean for us here in the 21st century? First, we must realize that while the Kingdom has been inaugurated, it is not fully realized. In a very real sense, Jesus is a King in exile. We, his subjects, are here to work for his Kingdom. We are citizens of a Kingdom that is not like the kingdoms of this world. Second, we must learn what following the King means. As we look into Scripture, we must do so with the commitment to do what Jesus says. Third, we then are to teach one another, in community, how it all fleshes out in our day-to-day. We show what our King is like by sacrificially loving and serving others. We live out his words that those who belong to him are family.

As we do these things, we must remember that we can not live this way in our own power. We can do so only in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must also remember that we will not do this perfectly in this life, and that our brothers and sisters also will falter in their walk. Patience and grace is vital.

To quote one of my favorite passages from Tales of the Kingdom, “How goes the world?”  “The world goes not well.” “But, the Kingdom comes!” Let us be people in whom the Kingdom comes more and more each day.

Part 2
Part 1

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Blast From the Past: The Cave

This was first posted on January 25, 2012. It was not a good time in my life. Thankfully the Father has redeemed and brought healing. Sometimes it’s good to look back and see where we were and where we are now.

Papa! Papa! Where am I?

How did I get here? It’s so dark. I can’t see a thing!
I remember walking along the path with my friends. Next thing I know I’m waking up here in the dark. I think I remember the path passing near the entrance of a cave. Is that where I am?

How do you feel?

Everything hurts. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Now I remember. We were walking along when I was hit by something. Who would have done something like this?

An Enemy has done this.

Papa, it hurts so bad! I don’t understand! I’m all alone here in the darkness and I feel like everyone has abandoned me!

You are not alone. Your most trusted long time companion is near, waiting for you. I am here.

How did this happen? Everything seemed good. There was some loose rock on the path at times, and there were some places where part of the path had washed away. but I thought we had gotten past them. I thought this part of the journey was going well. I thought we were together.

Papa?

I’m broken. I feel like I can’t move. I’m afraid to try because I can’t see and I don’t know if it’s safe. I don’t know what to do!

Do you remember the time you spent in the desert learning to trust me rather than what you expected me to do?

Yes, I do. That was hard.

You still have more to learn.

Does it have to be so painful? I’d rather lose a job again than feel so hurt and rejected!

Papa, what do I do?

Stay here for awhile. Don’t move. I know it’s dark and you’re scared, but I’m here with you. You are broken, but my love will heal you. You are safe here. Learn again to trust me. No matter what.

When the time comes, I will lead you out of this place, and you and the person who truly loves you will continue on in your journey with me.

Papa, help me! I have no strength.

I know. I am your strength. I love you, son.

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Lessons From Bus School

No, I didn’t mean to say school bus. It seems that God puts me on a bus for a while whenever I need to learn new lessons, hence “bus school.”

There are a number of things the Father knew I still had to learn. One is patience (Dang! I thought I had that down!). I am getting extensive experience with older folks who don’t move very quickly and who can be somewhat cranky from time to time. Because there are senior citizens on the bus, as well as folks in wheelchairs, I can not travel at normal speeds around corners or on some of the bumpy roads around here. I am learning that it does no good to be in a hurry. I am also learning to be patient with my self. Believe it or not, I don’t do everything, even driving, perfectly. I’ve made mistakes, and lo and behold the world didn’t end, the sun still came up the next day, and I didn’t get fired.

One lesson that was reinforced the other day is the importance of relationships over and above just about anything else. I pulled up to a house to let one of the seniors off and there was a man in the driveway who knew another one of the passengers. She hasn’t seen him in a while, so he came to the door and began to talk to her. I was supposed to be pulling out and moving on to another drop-off. After all, I had a schedule to keep. The Spirit spoke to my heart and told me to just let them talk, that their relationship was far more important than keeping to a schedule. Don’t be mistaken. I am as concerned with doing things efficiently as anyone. Maybe more, considering my struggles with perfectionism. But, there are times when being a friend is more vital than any task, probably more than some of us realize. When it’s all said and done, what will matter is not how perfectly we did things, but how we treated others, what kind of friend we were. As Jesus said, the greatest commandments are to love God and love others.

The wheels on the bus continue to go round and round. It remains to be seen how much I still have to learn.

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Without Defect

In Leviticus 21, the Israelites are given the instructions that any of the descendants of Aaron who had any defect at all, even something as minor as a broken bone, could not offer any gifts or sacrifices to God. I don’t know about you, but if that passage was all I had to go by, I’d feel pretty hopeless. Seeing as how I’ve had a few broken bones, including a little toe that is still crooked, I wouldn’t come close to being able to come into God’s presence.

When you think about it, none of us are qualified to give anything to God. We are all born with a serious defect that we can’t get rid of. That defect, sin, is far worse than a broken bone. A broken leg can possibly heal on its own, but we can do nothing to heal our sin. So, we are up the proverbial creek without a paddle or even a canoe.

There is also the problem of not making the grade as far as how others see us. We spend our entire lives trying to measure up, to parents, friends, spouses, employers, or any number of people in our lives. Many times we fail. We are seen as defective, unworthy. But we keep trying because we want to be be accepted, we want to be loved. That is true whether we are talking about people or about God.

Fortunately, there is someone who has no defect, who is absolutely sinless and perfect. Because Jesus took our sin on him and has taken it away, his acceptability is now ours. We can now approach the Creator of the universe with boldness, knowing that he sees us as he sees Jesus, as spotless. That also means that we are not bound by attempting to appear as if we have it all together. Ultimately it doesn’t matter what others think of us because God himself calls us his beloved children. If we are without defect in the eyes of God, wouldn’t it be a a good idea to live in that knowledge and stop trying to prove ourselves worthy. We have nothing to prove, nothing to do to make ourselves worthy.

That has already been done. Believe it. Live it.

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Word for the Year: Love

Every year, I try to pick a word to focus on for that year. Two years ago it was grace, and last year’s word was trust. I have learned a lot about receiving and extending grace and I have learned to trust God and people a bit more, although I am still very much a work in progress in both of those areas.

My word for this year is love. I chose it because I realize how far short I fall in loving. I think I do a decent job of loving those who love me. I can generate good, warm feelings toward my family and friends. I can even treat others with respect. Where I want to focus is that self-sacrificing love with which Jesus loved us.

I want to love Jan as Jesus loves his bride, the church. I want to give myself up for her more and more. I want to treasure her as she is, a person with a God given dignity all her own. That means I have to listen and not be in a hurry to get back to what I was doing. That means I have to not take her for granted and realize every moment how much she means to me.

I want to love others as Jesus has loved me. I want to see others as made in the image of God, whether they are a part of my Tribe or not. That means I have to stop judging others, even those who are guilty of judging. That means I have to truly see others as my Father does and treat them with the respect I want to be given.

I want love to become my defining characteristic. That means I have to lay down my life, my wishes and desires, for the good of other people. That means I have to be a servant, as Jesus was. That is scary, because I have no idea how that will all shake out. I also know that I will fail, at times miserably, so I ask forgiveness in advance.

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Another Year? Already?

Every year about this time, we do the same thing. We say goodbye to one year and hello to another. It seems like 2015 just zipped right on by. As I get older, the days seem to pass much more quickly. I have read that it has something to do with the fact that a particular period of time is a smaller percentage of the whole life span of an older person. Makes sense to me.

I’ve never been one to make a resolutions at the beginning of a year. I don’t seem to be able to keep them, so I just don’t make them. That way, I’m not disappointed. I’m beginning to realize that there are fewer years left in my life than there used to be. Unless medical science comes up with some miracles, I’m more than halfway through. So, at the beginning of a new year I look back at the past year and look ahead to the one ahead.

My focus has changed from career and financial goals. There is only so much you can do when you’re semi-retired and not earning a boatload of money. Those things are not all that important in the long run anyway. The things that are becoming more and more important are my walk with Jesus, my wife and family, and my friends.

Have I become a little more like Jesus in the past year? Have I loved Jan as Christ loved his church? Have I made her feel treasured? Have I been a good father and friend to my adult children and their spouses? Have I loved my friends and been willing to lay down my life for them? Have they been helped in their spiritual journey by what they have seen in me?

These are the things I think about. This is how I want to be in the year ahead. I know that, as with resolutions, there will be successes and miserable failures. I hope the important people in my life will be patient and forgiving.

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Stuck in the Middle

Warning: Political post ahead.

Back in the 70s, Stealers Wheel had a hit song titled, “Stuck in the Middle With You.” Now, I am not going to refer to any particular presidential candidate or candidates with, “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.” Although, the process of picking a nominee does seem to be a circus.

It seems that politics in the United States has become more polarized over the last thirty years. Both major parties have moved further to the right or further to the left, and the middle seems to be a no–man’s land where few dare to go. So many campaigns for public office are telling voters how terrible the candidate on the other side is rather than presenting positive policy ideas. Policy debate often devolves into attacking the other side in order to win.

Politics has become more and more like a war, where one side is trying to gain ground and ultimately defeat the other side. There is little room for working with those across the aisle with a willingness to take the best ideas from all sides in order to actually govern.

What really bothers me is what I see on social media and hear from those who call themselves followers of the King of Kings. I have no problem with Christians being involved in politics, but when you see and hear some of the nasty and unloving things that some Christians say about those who disagree with them, it seems that some have forgotten that their allegiance is to be given to Jesus Christ, not to a person or party. There are many examples of political parties saying what Christians want to hear, and then disappointing those Christians by neglecting to follow through.

I believe there is a middle way in much of what is facing the country today. Many of the problems do not lend themselves to easy answers and could use ideas from many sources. I also believe that this would be a good way for Christians to be involved. Instead of working for the benefit of a party or ideology, maybe we could do the hard work of asking how the Kingdom of God would tackle the problem. Admittedly many things that government does are exclusive to a kingdom of this world, but there are areas where Kingdom values can be brought to bear.

At the very least, we who follow the Prince of Peace can keep our political leanings from causing us to vilify those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ.

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Birthday Reflections

As of today, I have completed my sixth decade on this earth. I remember, when I was young thinking that sixty was so old. I don’t feel that way anymore, except when I get out of bed in the morning.

It’s been an interesting journey so far. As a wise man once said, “What a long, strange trip it’s been.” It’s not been a story for the ages, although there have been many moments that were memorable, at least to me. As I look back I see a life that was just a little bit outside of what some would call normal. Of course, what is normal?

Like everyone, I have had highs and lows. I have been married to a wonderful woman for thirty five years now and that union continues to be a high. My two beautiful children are happily married and are making their own way in the world. Looking back I see that my family has always been the best part of my life. I have had good jobs and bad jobs. I have lost good jobs and bad jobs. While I never got what I thought was the dream job, I’ve always had the sense that I was in the right place, even if I was there in order to learn some lessons. I have had good friends through the years. Some continue as friends, others have been lost and replaced by better friends.  I have been hurt by people and learned to forgive. I have hurt people and I hope they have forgiven me. I have learned from each of them.

I have traveled through the Christian landscape, from fundamental Baptist circles where I didn’t quite fit in, to a small Presbyterian church where I feel love and acceptance. Along the way I dabbled in Reformed Baptist, non-denominational, simple, and house churches. I have been fed up with church and ready to call it quits. I have gone from being an advocate of attractional worship that uses music to bring in a crowd, to believing that it is in intimate community that we really are formed into the likeness of Jesus.

As the years have gone by, I have become far less convinced that politics can make lasting change, and far more convinced that being an agent of Jesus’ Kingdom is the only thing that can. I have grown less tolerant of those who are convinced that their way is the only way, and that those who disagree are the enemy.

I have traveled the back roads on this journey. I have not been been successful in business, have not built any empires. I have not been named man of the year, or been roasted in front of a large crowd. I’m not famous. Hopefully I’m not infamous. I don’t really care about all that stuff. I do hope that I have touched some lives in a positive way, that I have made a difference in a small way, that others have seen a bit of Jesus in me.

Sixty years. It does seem like a long time. But, it’s not enough. In many ways it feels like the start, like there’s much more out there. Maybe with all the advances in medical science, I’ll have sixty more. Who knows?