Category: Life

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Five Fred Facts

My blogo-friend Bob tagged me in a meme a while ago. The first part is to list five facts about myself.

1. I have been blogging for about ten years.

2. Mamie Eisenhower once held me in her arms (at least that’s what I was told). Really! I was three years old and was at a Christmas party at the White House with a friend of the family who worked there.

3. I have competed in, and coached eight different sports. Soccer, football, cross country, basketball, volleyball, baseball, golf, and track.

4. I have learned to enjoy gardening and am constantly looking for creative ways to redo the outdoor space at our house.

5. I am a beach bum at heart, but I also enjoy being in the mountains. Different things at each place speak to me in different ways.

The second part of the meme is to tag other bloggers. Since I don’t know how many bloggers actually read my blog, if you have a blog and are reading this, consider yourself tagged. Let me know in the comments so I can check your five facts out.

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Blast From the Past: A Place to Be

This was first posted on March 14, 2011.

 The language arts class in which I assist just finished reading Maniac Magee, by Jerry Spinelli. Because I leave halfway through the class each day, I was only able to catch bits and pieces, but I was able to get the basic idea of the book. It’s about a boy who is orphaned at age three, and spends the next few years of his life trying to find a place to call home. He bounces from place to place, never allowing himself to feel comfortable at any one of them because he is afraid to settle in, afraid to let himself get too close, afraid of losing anyone else.

As we finished the book today, I started thinking about how that is so like those of us who follow Jesus. We’re afraid. Afraid to let others get too close, or to get too close to them. We’re afraid that we won’t be accepted once people discover the real us. I think our biggest fear is the fear of being hurt. I know that fear personally, and there have been times when I have tried to not get too close to folks in certain groups, because I have been hurt and don’t want to get hurt again. I understand those who have to deal with that.
I believe that these fears are one of the reasons churches are not what they could be. Many are looking for a safe place, but they don’t let themselves get too comfortable or too close to the people in a church. In a large church, they can hide. Eventually though, they will get the vague feeling that something is wrong, that the church is not meeting their needs. They will then look somewhere else, like Maniac Magee. Unfortunately the cycle will continue to repeat itself, or they will give up on the whole church thing altogether. Or, they may come upon a small to mid-size church that bills itself as a place “where people matter.” They soon find out that people matter as part of a program, not as individuals. Conflicts may happen, and then, out they go. Some spend their whole lives looking for a place to belong.
Even those who are part of simple churches are not immune to these fears. Again, they are perfectly understandable. If one of the goals of a simple church is to know and be known, there will inevitably be conflict. Too many folks have the idea that if they can just “do church” the way the early church did, all of their problems will be solved. Have you read the letters the Apostles wrote to the early churches lately? It seems that a large part of those letters were written to address problems that the people were having with each other. I have yet to be in a church where a man was sleeping with his father’s wife.
Anytime we deal with people, there will be conflicts. Life is messy, and the deeper we let people into our lives, the better the chance that we will be hurt. That hurt makes it hard to believe that we are safe, that it is really possible to live in community. Some return to the old routine of moving from place to place, never allowing themselves to get comfortable or to love again. Others will give up, and try to go it alone. Both approaches have problems. The first puts us right back into the system that hasn’t produced the community that many look for. The second forgets the fact that the Church is the Body of Christ, that we need each other as the body needs each of its parts. When a limb is amputated, the patient experiences a phantom limb, feeling pain in a part of the body that isn’t there. The same thing happens in the Body of Christ.
Living in community is hard. The conflicts happen, and the wounds they leave are real, and sometimes deep. I don’t believe the answer is to hide our hearts deeper, or refuse to be vulnerable again. Loving and being loved is hard, messy, and painful. It can not be accomplished in our own strength, it can only be done in the power of the risen Christ, the One who has told us to love each other as he loves us.
Be encouraged. Community and love can happen. It is what Abba wants. It is how others will know we belong to Jesus.
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Flag or Cross?

The news this week is full of stories about the decision of the governor of South Carolina to push for the removal of the Confederate battle flag from the statehouse grounds. Polls are being taken, politicians are being interviewed, and the network talking heads are weighing in. In much of the discussion, the controversy is being used to advance one agenda or another.

To me, the issue boils down to what should I, as a follower of Jesus, think about this. First, some personal background. I was born in Rockville, Maryland, to parents who were raised in the North Carolina mountains. I remember going into the center of what was then a small southern town just outside of Washington, DC and walking past a memorial to soldiers from the area who had fought for the Confederacy. My family has been in North Carolina since the late 18th century and were some of the first settlers in the western part of that state. I have ancestors who fought for the South.

Because of this, and because my birth place is south of the Mason Dixon line, I have always considered myself a Southerner. Had I been alive in 1861, I probably would have fought for my state against those who were seen as invaders. None of my ancestors had slaves and were farmers rather than rich planters, so I don’t think my motive would have been to preserve slavery. It was a different time then, and a person’s state meant much more to them than the nation did. So, I get those who feel that the battle flag is about their heritage as southerners. I have felt the same way, and still would except for how that flag has been co-opted.by those who espouse hate and how it causes pain to the hearts of others. I have also learned more about the philosophy on which the Confederacy was founded, and as a Christian, I cannot be okay with that.

In this post, Russell Moore writes something that I believe anyone who calls themselves a Christian must take seriously. He writes:

The symbol was used to enslave the little brothers and sisters of Jesus, to bomb little
girls in church buildings, to terrorize preachers of the gospel and their families with 
burning crosses on front lawns by night. That sort of symbolism is out of step with 
                    the justice of Jesus Christ.
I get what the flag means to white southerners who love their heritage, and I have no problem with anyone flying the flag on their own property, although I would encourage sensitivity to neighbors. I also am beginning to understand what the flag means to those whose heritage includes enslavement, oppression, beating, death, and discrimination. As one who follows the King whose kingdom includes every race and tongue, I cannot be for something that causes heartache to my brothers and sisters in Christ.  

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Repentance: The Other Side of the Coin

Last week, I wrote here about the importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a vital, ongoing part of life as a follower of Jesus. There is another side to that coin. Along with being people who are known for forgiveness, we are called to be folks who are known for repentance.

Repentance is one of those concepts that we sometimes have a hard time defining. It is definitely one of those things that we have a hard time doing. Repentance is usually defined as being sorry for our sins. That is part of it, however I believe being people of repentance and creating a culture of repentance in our communities calls us to go much further. Of course, this is just my belief, although I am convinced that it is informed by Scripture. Your results may vary.

The Greek word “metanoeo,” usually translated “repent” means to change one’s mind, or to turn away from. It is turning away from a way of thinking and acting that brings death and turning to life. Jesus told people to turn from their way of thinking about the kingdom of God and turn to God`s way, the way of the Messiah. The Sermon on the Mount lays out the essentials of the kingdom way of life.

When I look at the way Jesus calls us to live I see a life of repentance. We need to repent and turn away from sins we commit or from heart attitudes that are not pleasing to God. I would contend that there will be times when we need to turn away from words and actions that may hurt or offend someone, even if there is not sin involved, and even if the hurt was inadvertant. We are told to do everything we can to live at peace with others. Jesus said that we are to go to anyone we know has something against us, even if that means leaving religious duties. He also tells us that we are to be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves. In our relationships, we are to be smart and awake to the effect we have on others and be harmless in our dealings.

I believe that we should be known as people who are quick to repent and even quicker to forgive. Our churches and communities should be known as communities of repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation, fueled by the mutual, sacrificial love of Christ. Think of what that would look like!

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Wisdom From Don Henley

As you may know, I believe that all truth is God’s truth and that truth can come from many different places. In Don Henley’s song, “The Heart of the Matter,” there is a bit of truth about forgiveness. The song is about a lost love, but there is something there for all of us who have been hurt by other people.

Henley sings, “The more I know, the less I understand / All the things I thought I knew, I’m learning again.” Those words speak volumes to me. It seems that the older I get the less I understand about some things, especially when it comes to people. Sometimes the more we know about someone, the less we understand what they do. That is one reason we need forgiveness, whether given or received.

 The song goes on:

These times are so uncertain/ There’s a yearning undefined/
…People filled with rage/ We all need a little tenderness/
How can love survive in such a graceless age/
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness/
They’re the very things we kill, I guess
We live in uncertain times. Those of us who follow Jesus face an uncertain future that may include persecution and definitely will include a loss of the influence the church has enjoyed. Because we are family, we must be a family that forgives. The age is quickly becoming more and more graceless, and forgiveness is necessary for love to survive.
In some way, Henley gets it: 
“I’ve been trying to get down to the heart  of the matter
But my will gets weak/ And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness
Even if you don’t love me anymore
He recognizes the vital importance of forgiveness:
There are people in your life who’ve come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carryin’ that anger, it’ll eat you inside
We have all been hurt by people, whether it’s an abusive parent or spouse, a tyrannical boss, or a friend who has betrayed us. Some of those hurts heal relatively quickly while some will never be totally healed until God wipes all tears from our eyes. Some folks we can reconcile with, while with others reconciliation is impossible. The one thing we can do is forgive. Like the Amish in Pennsylvania, the people in Rwanda, or the formerly oppressed majority in South Africa, we can forgive. We must forgive. If we don’t, it will eat away at us and cause issues for the rest of our life.
Forgiveness is more about us than the person we are forgiving. By forgiving, we release the other from any hold their act still has on us. We also release ourselves. We do incur a cost by giving up our “right” to extract a pound of flesh, but that pound of flesh can never pay for their act and forgiving frees us and enables us to move on with our lives. We are no longer bound to that act or that person. We also must forgive because our Father has forgiven us far worse trespasses than any of us have ever felt. Jesus command us to forgive and reminds us that forgiving is an indication of our own forgiveness. We must forgive. For the glory of God and the advance of his kingdom, for the good of others, and for our own wholeness. It’s not easy, but it must be a part of our lives.
There is another side to this coin. That is repentance. That’s a subject for another post.
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Easter: Hope and Challenge

Easter is a time of great celebration. It is the pinnacle of the Church year, a day when we remember the resurrection of our Savior. Why do we celebrate? Why do we make such a big deal of this day? I would suggest that we celebrate for two reasons. The Resurrection gives us hope for the future, and it gives us hope and a challenge for today.

We have a hope for the future. Jesus said that he is the resurrection and the life, and that those who believe in him will never die. The apostle Paul tells us that Jesus’ resurrection means that we too shall be raised. When the kingdom of heaven comes in its fulfillment, we will be raised to never die. The resurrection of Jesus is the foundation of our future hope.

We also have a challenge and a hope for our day-to-day. When you look at the gospel accounts of the Resurrection, what you don’t see are mentions of the future hope. The followers of Jesus don’t say, “Jesus has been raised, so we will be raised from the dead and live with him forever.” That is in the rest of the New Testament, but the sense of the first disciples was more about now. Jesus is raised, so he is the Messiah. Jesus is raised, so new creation has begun. Jesus is raised, so we have a job to do. We are called to be heralds of this new kingdom.

Easter changes everything! The restoration has begun! We are subjects of a new kingdom, a kingdom of love, repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation. It is a kingdom in which we lay down our lives for our King and for others. It is a kingdom that puts loving God and loving others ahead of everything else. That is the challenge. There is hope along with the challenge.

The cross calls us to come and die. The empty tomb calls us to find that we can truly live. Because Jesus is raised, his Spirit is now in us, so we can die daily. We can give up our wishes, our desires, our comfort, our need to be right, our self-righteousness. We can show the world the truth, beauty, and goodness of Jesus by the way we love.

While we may live in the in-between time before the restoration is complete, we can live as Easter people because Jesus is raised. Let us begin to live in the power of the Resurrection today.

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Church Signs: 10 to 1

There is a church that I pass on a regular basis these days. For the past couple of months they have had this message on their sign: “It is easier to preach 10 sermons than to live 1.” Since I see this message just about every day, I have had plenty of time to think about it.

One of the charges brought against Christians is that we are a bunch of hypocrites. And to some degree that is true. Many humans are hypocritical in certain areas of their lives. Even though those of us who follow Jesus sometimes have a hard time living out what we say we believe. So, this message causes me to think about my own actions. Do they match up with my words, or would Jesus say, “Do what Fred says, but don’t do what he does?”

When I teach others to love their neighbors, do I ignore the needs I see in my neighborhood or city? When I tell folks to lay down their lives for others, does my own love only go as far as my schedule and comfort? When I teach that Jesus calls us to go to that brother or sister who has something against is and get it settled even before we come to worship, do I sit back and wait for them to make the first move?

When I proclaim our freedom in Christ, do I, by my actions, tell people they have to follow Jesus the way I do and put certain expectations on them? When I teach others to forgive, do I secretly harbor resentment? When I tell others to trust God, do I run ahead and try to fix things my own way?

Since I have the privilege of teaching and discipling others, these are things that I have to keep in mind at all times. Actually, I think all of us who follow Jesus should be careful that what we do matches up with what we teach, because we are all teaching if we are proclaiming the gospel. It should never be said that we are hypocrites!

God help us to live out our beliefs in our day to day.

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1000? Really?

I guess this is a milestone of sorts. This is my 1000th post on this blog. When I began this back in December of 2007, I had no idea I would still be writing a little over four years later. Some of you may be wondering why I’m still sharing the sometimes random stuff that rolls around in my brain. Probably because I can? Actually, I keep on because I hope that something I put on here will help, encourage, or challenge someone.

Since that winter day in 2007, the path of my life has taken a few twists and turns. Jan and I left one church, became involved in a couple of church plants (one fizzled and one blew up). I was done with the whole idea of church for a while. Then three years ago, God brought us to a church community that we have grown to love and see as family.

The journey has gone through wide open, sunny spaces and deep dark woods. I have been in a cave and come out again. I have learned over and over to trust the loving heart of my Father, and I have become more amazed at his unfathomable love for me. In the past couple of years, we have added two members to our family with the marriages of our two children.

In June, I lost a job and immediately gained a gig helping to take care of my father-in-law. That continues to this day, but I will have to be getting a regular job in the near future. I am trusting God to provide in his timing, as he always has.

Where this road takes me in the next four years is one of those unknowns. I am sure it will wind through forests, wide open spaces, and valleys. Maybe I’ll crank out another thousand posts. We’ll see. Thank you to all of you who have been with me on part of this trip. I hope that y’all (as we say here in the sunny South) will continue to travel along with me. It should be interesting.

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Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

If there is one word that best sums up the past year here in the sunny South, it would be the word interesting. There have been a lot of changes and adjustments through the year, especially in the second half. I started 2014 by choosing grace as my word for the year, and there have been multiple moments when I have had to lean on God’s grace.

The first five months of the year were relatively normal. Then, things got weird. June 5 was my last day at the middle school where I have been working the past eight and a half years. I didn’t actually go in to work that day though, because my father-in-law fell and broke his hip that morning. That was the beginning of the adjustments. I was without work and my father-in-law was taking a different road in his journey. As it has turned out, being out of work has allowed me the time to help him out and to take care of his financial affairs as well as helping him with doctor visits and life in an assisted living facility.

We made it through the summer, and in the middle of September we flew out to California for our daughter, Jennie’s, wedding. We had a wonderful time with her and with our new in-laws. I also had the honor of being the officiant at the wedding! That was an amazing thing, and I only choked up three times! We came back home, and within a few weeks our son told us that he and his wife were moving from Charlotte to Seattle so he could work with his cousin who has his own architectural design business. The idea of both of our children being on the opposite side of the country has taken some getting used to, but we know that it’s a great opportunity and we are happy for them.

We were able to get together with both of our children at the beginning of December, when we celebrated Christmas and a couple of birthdays. On the 19th, Josh and Alicia set out with all their worldly possessions in a Honda Fit. They drove across the country and arrived in Seattle two days before Christmas. Jan and I celebrated Christmas with her father, and then with some close friends. So Christmas was a bit different, but it was good.

Last night we said goodbye to one year and hello to another. While there are things I could wish had happened differently, I am grateful for God’s hand in everything. As we enter into this new year, I still don’t have a job, and I’m not totally sure how to proceed. The path is shrouded in fog, and we really don’t have a clue what will happen in the future. What we do know is that our Father loves us, and that his heart is good toward us. He knows what is to come, and how we are going to best represent his kingdom.

My word for this year is trust. My prayer is, “Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!”