Category: Life

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40 Years? Really?

Last week, Jan and I took a trip up north to attend my 40th high school reunion. Hard to believe it’s been 40 years! We had a good time, as we combined the reunion with some other stops along the way to see some friends and relatives.

Tuesday, we traveled to Lynchburg, VA, where we spent the night with one of Jan’s college roommates. We had a good time catching up. On Wednesday, we drove north to Ashburn, VA and spent a couple days with a nephew and his wife. We did a bit of walking, around their neighborhood and the nearby town of Leesburg. Friday morning, I went with our nephew and played full court basketball for an hour. I survived and I’m actually proud of myself. I played under control, and my mind (which sometimes thinks I’m still in my 20s) didn’t convince my body to try something I would regret. I didn’t feel too bad the next couple of days. Just a little sore.

After I showed the young guys how to play the game, we traveled to the Rockville, MD area for the reunion as well as some sightseeing. We took a detour to a town near Baltimore where we spent the afternoon with another of Jan’s college roommates, along with her husband, father, and daughter-in-law. We had a great time talking and reminiscing. It was good to see them again after a number of years. Friday night found us at a reunion dinner/happy hour. It was good to see some of my classmates, once they told me their names. For some reason, none of us looked the same as we did 40 years ago.

Saturday morning, we got up and took a trip down memory lane. We drove through our old neighborhoods, taking pictures of the schools we attended, the houses in which we lived, the place where we met, and the church where we were married. We also stopped and visited my parents’ graves, where I found that I still get choked up after almost seven years. It was good to see the old places, most of which looked pretty good. The yards and playgrounds seem to have shrunk quite a bit over the years. So many memories came to mind during our travels that I couldn’t begin to list them here.

After our trip around the past, we went to a cookout where I caught up with even more of my classmates. Again, I remembered them after they told me their names. There was a class picture from 1973 on one wall in the house. It was amazing to see how much hair we all had back then! We ate some good food, had a few drinks, and remembered the good times we had back when. It seemed like a simpler time because we didn’t yet have the responsibilities of careers and families. We were the ones who were going to change the world, and some are doing that, although in smaller ways than we imagined. Most of us have grown up to be responsible adults who are doing some good. We have changed, in ways beyond the obvious physical changes. Some of the changes are good, some are not, but the group that graduated from high school in 1973 really doesn’t exist anymore.

Sunday morning, we headed for home. On the way, we stopped to see another nephew and his wife, along with their two year old son and their six day old daughter. We went from a bunch of memories to a family that was making their own memories that they can tell about 40 years from now. I got to hold our grand-niece and it was good to hold part of the future. It will be fun to see how her life unfolds, as well as the lives of all of our grand- nieces and grand-nephews.

Thomas Wolfe wrote that you can’t go home again. Maybe you can’t. Maybe you can, but it’s not really home. Or maybe, all of our past experiences form the home we’re in today.

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For My Beautiful Wife

Today is the thirty-third anniversary of the day I married my beautiful wife Jan. When we wed, we vowed to stick with the other through better or worse, health or sickness, etc. At the time neither of us really knew what that all entailed. As the years have passed, we’ve learned a bit of what it means to support each other in the good and the bad.

Through it all, I have been blessed to have such a gracious partner by my side. In Genesis, we are told that God thought it not good for man to be alone so he created a helper suitable (meet) for him. In the Hebrew the words translated “help meet” could be translated as a “helper who complements.” Not a helper in the sense of a servant, but a helper in the sense of a rescuer or deliverer. The word “ezer” is used of God as a deliverer. The word “k’enegdo” can be translated “against” or “opposite.” The idea is something which corresponds to, like a mirror image. So, you could say that a wife is to be a deliverer who mirrors her husband. Opposites attract right?

Jan has certainly been an ezer k’enegdo for me. She has been my deliverer by her love and loyal support. She is a complement to me and I have learned much from her through the years. I can not imagine what it would have been like without her through the moves, the job losses, the losses of my parents, and all the other ups and downs of life. As I look back over thirty-three years, I marvel at the grace of a loving Abba who knew exactly who I needed. I can’t fathom it.

Jan, it’s been an absolutely wonderful journey together these thirty-three years. I can’t imagine life with anyone else, and I pray the Father gives us many more years together. You are a tremendous blessing to me. I love you.

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What’s Neglected in Worship

This morning, Josh turned me on to this article on the tendency of the church to neglect the reality of tragedy as a part of worship, instead turning to a form that gives the impression that the Christian life is all sweetness and light. I wonder if we try to forget the stuff of life in our worship because we really don’t trust God to redeem every part of our life, and don’t really believe God’s heart is good toward us.

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Repost: Hi. My Name’s Fred and I’m a…

First posted on February 17, 2009.
 
…recovering Pharisee. There should be a group named P.A. (Pharisees Anonymous). I would join. Growing up in fundamentalism, I was taught that the only ones who were right were independent fundamental Baptist. I fully believed that. I can remember being judgemental of those that used the RSV as their Bible. After all, they left out some things that were in the King James, which we knew was the only correct interpretation. Those who baptized infants, learned catechisms, venerated saints, or believed in the “social gospel” were somewhat lesser Christians than we were, if they were Christians at all. Even in the midst of my teenage rebellion, I still believed that I had been taught THE TRUTH, and everyone who disagreed with that was wrong. The attitude persisted through Bible college and I graduated fully ready to defend the Faith.

Fast forward twenty or thirty years. Through those years God has been working in me and teaching me that many of the things I had been taught were either not Biblical at all, distinctives of a particular group, or simply cultural. I began to experience real grace for the first time as I learned that the Father loves me no matter what. He is pleased with me and there is nothing I can do to make him any more or any less pleased with me. I desire to follow Jesus out of a heart full of gratitude and love rather than a need to “stay right with God” (I did a lousy job of that).

The problem is that I still struggle with being a Pharisee. I still have a tendency to judge people. The difference is that now I am not judging liberals or any of the ones I used to judge. Now, I tend to be judgemental of other people who are judgemental. I tend to look at fundamentalists, especially independent Baptists with a much too critical eye. I am realizing more and more that this attitude is nothing less than it was when I was younger. It’s sin. I am no better than those I criticize for being critical.

I read an interview in which Brain McLaren was asked about those who criticize him and call him heretic, etc. His response was that he believed that those critics loved Jesus and were trying to follow him the best they could, and that he simply disagreed with their methods as well as some of their theology. It was one of the most gracious responses I’ve ever seen. He did not condemn them, but accepted them as brothers, even though they disagree. That’s the kind of response I want to have in my life toward those who are critical. May God grant that to all of us.

My name’s Fred and I’m try to leave Phariseeism behind.

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Win-Win. Or Is There Something Else?

In one of the classes I assist, the students are learning how to negotiate. One of the sections is about finding a win-win solution to a problem. That is a popular way to try and negotiate differences, as it offers a way for both parties to get at least part of what they want. Steven Covey was a popular proponent of this approach. While this is probably a good way for nations, corporations, etc. to handle ironing out conflict, I believe that there may be something else for those of us who follow Jesus.

The kingdom that Jesus is over is a kingdom that is upside down according to the world’s way of looking at things. The kingdom was inaugurated when the King allowed the most powerful kingdom of that day, and the power behind that kingdom, to put him to death. This King called his followers to take up their cross, to lose their lives for his sake, and to love sacrificially. He called us to turn the other cheek and do good to those who treat us badly. In 1 Corinthians 6:1-8, Paul tells the church in Corinth to allow themselves to be defrauded rather than hurt the witness of the church. Sounds a little different from win-win, doesn’t it?

What if followers of Christ began to give up their rights and wants in favor of what their brother or sister desired? What if, instead of convincing others to do it our way, we gave in. What if we were willing to lose, if it benefited a brother or sister and built up the kingdom? What do you think would happen if we all decided to lay down our lives for others in the church? What if we all decided to die to our own agendas, our own desires, our selves?

I suspect the church would look a whole lot different than it does now. But, that’s just me.

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Let’s Dance

The Trinity has been described as a “divine dance.” The word in Greek is perichoresis, a word meaning to dance around. This divine dance describes the relationship between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It is a relationship of mutual love and service, a relationship in which each one is centered around the other. This can be symbolized in the triquetra and other designs that show three interlocking rings, triangles, or fish symbols. The Trinity is a relationship that gives to the other, exalts the other, and serves the other.

As we begin to follow Jesus, we are invited to join in this dance. God created us, not to give God joy, but to receive the joy that already existed within the Trinity. We join in this perichoresis, this divine dance, by centering our selves in God. We recognize that it’s not all about us, but that it is all about God. Ultimate reality can only be found in God. We are invited to play a part in that reality and join in God’s story. It’s mind blowing to think that the Creator wants us to be a part of what he is doing to restore the creation and reconcile all things.

This invitation also has implications for us as we enter into the dance. The first is realizing that our lives are to revolve around God. God is to be the sun around which we orbit. As a baby learns that the world doesn’t revolve around him, so must we. We are to be all about doing the will of the Father as Jesus was. We are to seek his interests, exalt him, and give ourselves to him. We are to love God with every fiber of our beings. As we enter more and more into this dance, we find that forgetting about ourselves and orbiting around God is a joy rather than a drudgery.

The second implication is that we must also remember that there are others who are in this dance with us. Our brothers and sisters in Christ are dancing as well, and those who haven’t come to faith in Christ are to be invited to join us. That means that in our relationships with other people, we are not to expect them to orbit around us. We do not expect them to give to us, build us up, or serve us. The opposite is true. As we dance, we recognize that we are to orbit around them. Their interests, their needs, their good is what we are to be about. This means we are to forget about ourselves. That is a hard thing to do. Our natural tendency is to make sure that we get ours, and then maybe we’ll give to others. We do this with our money, most obviously. We also do this with our time and energy, and our talents and gifts.

I believe this lack of dancing correctly is a major reason why churches are ineffectual, and why community is so hard to find. A group of folks who expect everyone else to orbit around them and their interests will quickly fall into conflict and will cease to exist. It is only in the dance God has called us to that we can truly find the love and acceptance we all desire. It is only when we forget ourselves and dance in our orbits around God and around others, that we find joy. The old children’s song that spelled “joy” as Jesus, others, and you, was actually pretty much on the money. That is the dance, moving in and out, around and around, in a constant relationship of mutual love and service.

Lets dance!

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Repost: Who Are You?


This was first posted on May 7, 2009.

I’m sure many of you remember the story of Ferdinand the bull. Ferdinand was a bull in Spain who was unlike all the other bulls. While the other young bulls were doing normal bull things, Ferdinand was content to sit in the shade of a cork tree and smell the flowers. Even when some tried to make Ferdinand act more like a normal bull, he remained true to what he was and lived out his days sitting in the shade and smelling flowers. The book ends with, And he was very happy.”
As I listened to the story this morning, I thought about the lessons that followers of Jesus can draw from this story. We can be pulled many different ways by those who want us to conform to their image of what a Christian should be. Some will say that we should adhere to a particular set of doctrines and rules in order to be “right with God.” Others will say that we should belong to a particular political party and subscribe to a certain political philosophy. Still others will say that we should just keep our beliefs private and not let our practice leak outside the church walls.
When Jesus called his disciples, he didn’t call each one of them to follow him exactly the same way. He called fishermen, a tax collector, even a political radical. While they all learned the same things, how those things worked out in their lives and ministries was different for each one. Some were called to give the Gospel to Jews, others to Greeks and Romans, still others to India and other places outside the Roman Empire.
So it is today. Jesus calls us to give everything up and follow him. That means different things for different people. Some are called to turn from their reliance on material things and use their wealth to help others, while others are called to sell everything and live as one of the poor. Some are called to teach, others are called to serve behind the scenes. Some are called to be giants of faith, and others are called to have faith in the midst of their doubts. Some are called to have great, well known ministries, while others are called to work in obscurity, waiting to hear the Master say, “Well done.” Most of us will fall somewhere in the middle.
The worst thing we can do is try to follow Jesus exactly the same way that (insert name here) does, or try to follow in a way prescribed for us by others. If we truly believe that Jesus has given his Spirit to teach us and guide us, then the One whose opinion we should seek is the One who is presented to us in the Gospels.
Be encouraged on your journey. Jesus has promised to teach us the way the he wants us to follow him. That path will take us places that others are not going to visit, and it may well leave us open to criticism from those who don’t understand our journey. It doesn’t matter, because in the end, what counts is the approval of the One who loves us and gave his life for us.

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Idols

Mention the word idol and some people think of figures made out of wood or metal that “heathens” worship. Or their thoughts turn to the scene in The Ten Commandments where the Israelites are dancing around the golden calf. In a lot of Christian circles, an idol is something such as drinking, entertainment, or some other “sin” that keeps a person from becoming a Christian. It can be any of those things, but I think idolatry is more insidious and widespread than we would like to believe. We Christians can have idols.

An idol can be our status, whether it’s our status in the community or our place in the church. It can be our job, or any of the things that come because of that job. It can be our church, or the building it meets in. It can be our particular denomination, or the fact that we don’t belong to one. It can be the fact that we worship using a particular liturgy, or the fact that we don’t use a liturgy. It can be the history of our particular church, or the newness of our gathering. An idol can be the institution we are a part of, or it can even be the simple, organic way in which we meet.

An idol can be a particular preacher that we like to watch on TV or hear on the radio. It can even be the leader of our local gathering. It can be an author that we love reading, or a blog that is important to us. It can be a set of doctrines, and the correctness of those doctrines. An idol can be our faith, or our doubts. We can make an idol of our humility. An idol can be our family, or our relationships with friends. Our community of believers can be an idol, as can the very idea of community itself. We can even make an idol of God, or at least our concept of God.

Essentially, an idol is anything from which we find our identity apart from God. There are so many ways we try to get our identity, and it is very easy to put those things in the place of God and how Jesus wants us to follow him. As followers of Jesus our identity can only be truly found in Christ. All of the other things in our life, whether they are things of this world or things that a gracious Father has given us are not what life is about. Life is about Christ, and following him. He may or may not grant us certain things, but our calling is to simply follow. That means putting our self, and everything that goes along with our self, to death and finding our life in Christ only.

Father, help us to find our life and identity in Jesus Christ. Help us to keep you first and only. Be our all in all.

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Thoughts on Les Miserables

A little while back, Jan and I went with some of our church family to see the movie, Les Miserables. We thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s one of those movies you want to see on the big screen and then want to see again on DVD because the story is so good. A lot has been said and written about the theme of grace vs. law and the triumph of grace. The movie was saturated with grace, and the embodiment of grace in Jean Valjean and law in Javert was thought provoking and emotion producing.There were a lot of tissues used, and hopefully a lot of thinking about God’s grace. My thoughts after the film, while still including grace, were a bit different than others that I heard.

There were many scenes in the film that made folks cry, and I choked up many of those times myself. However, what brought me to tears was the scene near the end when Javert dove off the bridge, finally holding on to law all the way to death and rejecting the grace that was offered. Now, keep in mind that I had not read the novel or seen any of the stage or film productions. In my wild-eyed optimism, I hoped that Javert would see the light and be transformed by grace as Jean Valjean was. It broke my heart.

My heart still breaks when I think about the many people who reject a grace that gives life and cling to law which brings death. Some don’t know any better, having been raised in religions that are all about human effort. I would include the American religion of pull yourself up by your own bootstraps self-sufficiency. Many however, should know better. There are multitudes of churches and organizations that will say they are all about grace but then proclaim rules to follow to be “right with God,” or any number of steps to be a better whatever. This includes those “ministries” who proclaim grace but then tell you what to do to have any number of “blessings” in your life.

If those things worked, churches would be full of perfect, completely fulfilled and whole people. Do you know any of those? I don’t. Law doesn’t work to bring life, whether it’s religious commands or simple human effort to get better. Our effort, whether it’s obeying regulations, following steps, or trying to have more faith, will not change us. It is only God’s grace that transforms us, making us into people who show love to others, who trust God, and who sometimes do the right thing. This comes about because the Spirit of the living God dwells in us and changes us from the inside out. We no longer live by law, but we live by grace, out of a heart consumed with love for our Father because he loves us with an unchangeable, everlasting love.

Let us reject law, with its striving and death. Let us embrace God’s grace, which does what we could never do and transforms us into the new creation God means for us to be. 

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Repost: Pursuing the Virtuous Life

This was first posted on April 22, 2010.

One of the things I learned during my days as a teacher in fundamentalist Christian education was the fact that many of America’s founding fathers had lists of virtues or rules of behavior that were good things for the students to know and emulate. Ben Franklin had a list of thirteen, while George Washington had one hundred ten rules to follow. All in all the rules and lists are not bad things for people to check out and learn from. We obviously could use more civility and manners in today’s society.

The problem comes when we try to make ourselves virtuous by following a list of rules. Ben Franklin realized that while he had become a better person in many ways, he had not reached the state of moral perfection that he hoped to attain. Many churches preach, and many people believe, that following the dictates of their church or a set of rules from a particular group will help you be “right with God.” Many other churches who don’t have a long list of “standards” still preach steps to be closer to God, or any number of things you can do to be a better Christian. This kind of thinking, while it may make life a bit better, is nothing more than man’s attempt to do what only God can do.

What is forgotten in all the lists to follow is grace. Grace is the word that Christians use when they are talking about salvation. They are correct; we are saved by grace, not by anything we do. What is so often neglected is that we also live and grow by grace. As God’s children, there is nothing we can do to make him love us less. We can not tear ourselves away from God’s grace and love. It is also true that there is nothing we can do that will make God love us any more. We cannot add to the Father’s grace and love toward us. I love my son and daughter unconditionally. They cannot do anything that is going to make me stop loving them, and they do not have to do anything to earn my love. So it is with God. He loves us, period.

As we learn to accept and rest in that love it grows in us and our love for God and for others grows. The way we grow in the Father’s love is by spending time with him, seeing each day as an opportunity to be guided and shaped by the Spirit. We learn about the Father by looking at the Son, by immersing ourselves in the Gospels and seeing Jesus as he really is. The first disciples spent three years with the Master, eating and drinking with him , traveling with him, hearing his teachings and seeing how he lived those teachings out. After that, they were given the Holy Spirit and went out and turned the world upside down. We have the account of Jesus’ life and teachings, and we have the same Holy Spirit to guide us and empower us to become like Jesus.

Our lives do not hang on man-made rules or anything else that comes from our own efforts. We can become better people, but the Father’s goal is for us to become like Christ. That can only come from the grace of God working in our lives through the Spirit. It happens because God loves us. Rest in that love. Don’t try to be a virtuous person. Instead, learn from Jesus and let the Spirit teach you. Trust in the fact that the Father is shaping you into the image of Jesus. As the old hymn says, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.”