We traveled to St. Augustine on Monday from Summerville, SC, having spent the night with my sister and her family. Since Jan shares my enjoyment of traveling off the interstate, we rolled down Highway 17 to I-95 South. We took 95 through South Carolina and Georgia to just north of Jacksonville, FL. There we exited and got on A1A, which winds down the coast through the beach towns and vacation homes of north Florida. On the way we found that traveling on this particular road includes a trip on a ferry.
After a 15-20 minute trip, we were back on the road. We continued south until we made it to St. Augustine and the St. Francis Inn. The inn is a bed and breakfast in a house that dates back to 1791.
After checking in and resting for a bit, we had an anniversary dinner at an excellent Italian restaurant, and chilled out for the rest of the evening, resting up for some busy days ahead.
30 Years
Thirty years ago, Jan and I set out on a journey together. Through those years the path has had many twists and turns. We have gone through jobs lost and found, leaving old friends and getting to know new ones, saying goodbye to parents, and seeing our children grow up and go out on their own. Of course, we have also gone through many of the adjustments that married couples make as they get to know each other.
We both had wonderful examples of marriage from our parents, so as we started out, we determined from the start that divorce was not going to be an option. That commitment, along with the grace of God, has helped make our marriage strong. Of course, it’s easy to want to stay with someone who you’ve never fallen out of love with.
God has truly blessed me with a woman like Jan. She has a wonderful sense of humor, which is a requirement for living with someone like me. Her love for Christ is evident in her demeanor and the way she approaches life. Through the years, as I have watched her teach Josh and Jennie and her school students, I have clearly seen her love for others. Her quiet and gentle spirit has been a calming influence for me many times, as well as her ability to cut through the fog and bring clarity to my sometimes muddled mind.
Proverbs 31:10 says that a noble wife is worth far more than rubies. I know that to be true. In Jan, I have found a noble wife whose worth exceeds not only rubies, but all other things as well. I know that I am truly blessed, and I am awed by the love that the Father shows me through her. I cannot imagine what life would be like without her.
Happy 30th anniversary, Jan. May God grant us many more. I love you more than yesterday, and less than tomorrow.
Church as Family
This past Sunday in our gathering, we were talking about gathering together as a church, and what it means to be a church. One of the points that was made was that we aren’t the church because we gather together, but that we gather together because we are the church, and we gather together as the church because we are family. We are children of our heavenly Father, therefore we are brothers and sisters. As Sister Sledge sang back in the day, we are family.
Now the term family conjures up different pictures for different people, some good and some bad. For me, regardless of the picture presented in many TV shows, the idea of church as family means several things. First, it means that we carry the same spiritual DNA. We have the Spirit of God within us, and we are God’s children. We are one because we have the same Father. The second thing family means is loyalty. The saying “blood is thicker than water” can be applicable here. People will do almost anything for those in their family, sometimes going to outrageous lengths. As I was growing up, my sister and I would tease each other and get into arguments from time to time, but woe to anyone outside our family who would try to hurt the other. Jan and I have also stressed that attitude of loyalty with Josh and Jennie.
Another aspect of family is the idea that certain responsibilities come with being a family member. Certain things are expected simply because of who you are. Of course, we all fail at different times, so one of those responsibilities is forgiving and restoring the erring family member. That is sometimes hard to do, but we do it because we are family. A fourth thing that family means is a willingness to give help when it is needed, and to receive help when we need it. This a two-sided coin. On the one hand we are ready to give to family when it is necessary. The flip side of that is being willing to ask for help. It’s easy sometimes to help others, but it can be a difficult thing to ask for help. Difficult, but necessary.
The final and most important thing I see in family is love. Love makes all the other things possible, and it is because of God’s love that we are family. Love can be difficult, even in families. Love opens us up and leaves us vulnerable, and sometimes family members hurt us. Sometimes we may be very good at extending love to others, but have a hard time receiving it from others. Both are needed in a family. Love, given and received, is the oil that makes a family run smoothly.
May God help us to be fully functional family.
Another Lesson Learned
This morning, after our gathering, we were waiting for some food to be delivered. I was on the front porch of the house talking with a friend. Partway through the conversation the food that we were waiting for arrived, and help was needed to carry it into the house. Without thinking, I immediately left in the middle of the conversation to help. There were others there who could have helped, so it wasn’t like it was absolutely necessary for me to get involved. A bit later I thought about that and realized that I had abandoned my friend right in the middle of our conversation, and I wondered why I did that.
Part of it could be that I’m not a great conversationalist, so it was more comfortable for me to help out in a way that didn’t require talking. That’s something I need to continue working on, although I am better than I was. Part of it could be that I feel like I have a reputation as a servant to uphold. That is one of my gifts, and I do feel more comfortable behind the scenes than out front, so of course I don’t want people to think I’m being lazy. Regardless of the reason, I should have stayed on the porch and not abandoned my friend.
I think that a bigger reason is something that most of us deal with in our walk with Jesus, and that is the tendency to feel that we have to do something all the time rather than just be in the moment. I know that I sometimes will let things to do draw me away from spending time with the Father or with my brothers and sisters. A lot of evangelicalism, especially the fundamentalist branch, is built on “doing something for God.” Great churches are built on the efforts of the leaders and members. Christians are made to feel guilty if they aren’t involved in one of the programs of their church. Pastors burn out because they feel that it’s their job to build a great work. In the midst of all this busyness, churches find that their members are not being discipled and are not growing in their walk with God.
The thing is, many of the programs and things that we try to do for God can be done without the Holy Spirit. Huge, “successful” churches and ministries can be built completely on human effort. Some of those come tumbling down, some get even bigger, but they really don’t have much impact for the Kingdom. We bemoan the fact that people aren’t knocking down the doors of our churches, and young people are leaving as soon as they are able. I think one reason is that we have presented a gospel that claims to be all about grace and a relationship with God, but is really about working. Not for salvation, but to please God.
God invites us into relationship with him. He tells us to be still and know that he is God. God is our Father, not our employer. It is true that we serve God and others. It is true that there are things that each one of us is called to do. But, do we do them in our own strength or in the power of the Spirit coming from just being in a close relationship with the Father? It is out of that relationship that we walk in God’s love through our day-to-day. It is in that relationship that we learn the Father’s heart and find out where he is working so that we can join in. The closer we draw to our Father, the more sensitive we will be to his agenda, and the more we may realize that we need to let our agenda go. Our efforts will be to join God’s work rather than trying to get him to bless ours.
Joining in God’s work might just mean that we continue a conversation on the front porch and let someone else help with the other stuff.
Gold
According to G. Gordon Liddy and others, gold is what will save us in these tough economic times. At least it will save our financial portfolios. Besides the question of whether you would buy a used car from that man (a few years ago, Liddy was pushing mutual funds), there are other issues with the pitch being made by the gold sellers, at least for those of us who follow Jesus.
The commercials are based on fear. Fear of the future, fear of the government, fear of losing the American Dream. In contrast, believers are told to not fear. We do not fear because we are children of the Creator of the universe. God gives us a spirit of adoption, not a spirit of fear. Jesus tells us to not fear those who can kill the body (I would add, or take our things), but to fear God. We are loved by a Father who tells us not to worry about the material things, because he knows even the number of hairs on our heads (of course, it’s easier for him to do that with some of us).
The other thrust of the buy gold campaign is security. In one ad, Liddy drops gold coins into one hand and say, “That’s the sound of security.” He’s telling us that his security is in a bunch of rocks that come out of the ground. I wonder what he would say if the price of an ounce of gold suddenly dropped to a much lower amount. Where would his security be then?
As humans, we tend to put our security into what we can see, whether it’s minerals, jobs, possessions, or people. It’s perfectly natural for someone to put his security in gold. For the Christian however, our security is to be in God alone. In Romans 8, Paul tells us that there is nothing in the entire universe that can separate us from the love of God. I think that counts as security, don’t you? All through Scripture, God’s children are encouraged to trust their Father to take care of them and meet their needs.
I really don’t have any problem with people planning their financial future. We do need to be aware of the danger of making things like gold, retirement accounts, and home equity idols that we put our trust in rather than putting our trust in the One who has promised to take care of us.
Besides, if the literalists are correct, when we get to heaven we’ll be walking on streets paved with gold, so it can’t be worth all that much. 🙂
Praying in Faith?
I have a hard time praying in faith. To be honest, I’m not totally sure what that means. I’ve heard that praying in faith means believing and saying that God is going to give you what you pray for, and that you simply don’t have enough faith if you don’t get it. I’ve heard that we must pray with the faith that God’s will is going to be done, regardless of the answer.
I’ve prayed for situations where I was certain God was going to answer in a certain way, and he didn’t. In some, the answer was a clear “No.” One of those times, I visualized a certain thing as a mountain and told it to move, fully expecting my desire to happen. When the “mountain” remained in its place, my faith was damaged. It was months before I could pray at all, and was an even longer time before I prayed for any of my concerns. I could pray for others, but I felt like God just was not going to answer my prayers for myself. If I had stopped to think about it, I probably would have said I was drifting close to fatalism. Over time, I came to the point where I could pray for myself. Maybe I didn’t (don’t) have enough faith. Maybe I was asking with a wrong motive. Maybe my faith was misplaced. (that’s certainly been the case before)
All this musing has come about because there is a a particular thing that I really want God to do. There is a job that I’ve heard will come open. It actually would be more than just a job for me. It is something that will fit my passion, skills, and experience. It will allow me the opportunity to once again be involved in discipleship through athletics. Through a number of things that have transpired over the last two years, the timing seems right. It seems like the perfect situation. So, I am praying that God will be gracious and grant me this job.
The question remains. How do I pray in faith? How do I balance my deep desire and a trust that my Father will do what is best? Right now my prevailing attitude is, “Lord I believe. Help my unbelief.” Maybe that’s enough.
Waiting
“How could this happen? How could we have been so wrong?”
“We believed the kingdom was going to be restored and those pagan dogs sent back to Rome where they belong. But this ‘messiah’ turned out to be just like all the others.”
“Now here we are hiding from the priests and the Romans.”
“Why didn’t we fight back? What kind of wimps are we?”
“Fight back? Did you see how many men they had? Besides, Peter tried and he told him to put the sword away!”
“Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but as soon as all this mess dies down, I’m going back up to Galilee.”
“Me too. Back to the old life. When the only thing we had to worry about was catching fish and fixing nets.”
“Yeah. It’s been an interesting three years, but I’m through with messiahs and kingdoms. Just give me my boat out on the water. As soon as I can, I’m getting out of here.”
And so, they waited.
Palm Sunday
Today we celebrated the day that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, surrounded by people hailing him as the Messiah. Evidently this procession was not the only one making it’s way into the city that day. The Roman governor, Pilate, was also entering Jerusalem with his forces. This was something that happened before every Jewish holiday. After all, the Romans had to remind the Jews who really was in charge.
So, you have an imperial Roman procession on one side of the city and a subversive, Messianic parade on the other side. The people shouting, “Hosanna!” as Jesus made his way along the road thought they understood what was going on. As they saw it, this man who had performed so many miracles was the promised king who would drive out the hated Gentile oppressors and restore the glory of Israel. Unfortunately, as the week unfolded, many of these same people, now disillusioned, would join in the calls for his crucifixion by those same oppressors.
Those folks were partially right. Jesus was the promise Messiah. He had come to set up a kingdom and free them from their oppression. What they didn’t realize was the nature of the kingdom. It was a kingdom that is not of this world, a kingdom that came in, not by way of overthrowing the present empire, but by the king dying at the hands of that empire. The Jews were expecting God to do things the way they expected. They didn’t understand that God rarely works that way.
I thought of how many times I’ve prayed for things and thought that God was going to answer those prayers in a certain way, either because I had jumped through a certain number of hoops to “earn” God’s blessing, or because I couldn’t think of any other way God could act. I trusted in God for the things I thought he would (or should) do. Like the Jews I followed Jesus for what I could get out of it. The funny thing is, God never seemed to do the things that I expected, yet so many things turned out in such a way that I knew the Father was taking care of me. Things were not all sweetness and light, and sometimes I questioned God about what he was doing. But I can look back on those days and see that God was there, and that he was working.
During our times together at St. Thomas, we have seen that God is not predictable. He is not someone who can be counted on to always do things a certain way. God relates to people in all kinds of ways, and we cannot tie him down to a particular plan of action. None of us can figure God out, yet he calls us into relationship with him. In that relationship we learn to trust God simply for who he is rather than for what we think he can do for us.
Be encouraged. Your Father loves you more than you know. He has given you his life and his glory. Trust the Father, even when the parade of Palm Sunday turns into the darkness of Friday.
Lessons Learned During Recovery
I’m not exactly a patient person. In some situations I can be, but when it comes to going places and doing things, I want it done right now. In my track days I was a sprinter, and I still have to remind myself to not be in such a hurry when I’m driving somewhere.
Last week, things came to a screeching halt. After spending a couple of hours in surgery, and a few more in recovery, I was wheeled to a room for the night. When you’re in the hospital recovering from surgery, you can not be in a hurry. The schedule doesn’t revolve around you, so a good bit of the time is spent waiting. Waiting for something to drink, waiting for medicine, waiting for the nurse to change the IV bag so it stops beeping. And of course, waiting all day for the surgeon to see you and release you to go home. Add to that, 30 minutes waiting for a wheelchair to take you to the car.
After getting out of the truck at home, it was then my responsibility to get myself around, with help from Jan. So, I hopped out of the truck, and ran up to the front door. Wrong! On the old Carol Burnette Show, Tim Conway played a character. He was a little old man who moved excruciatingly slow, to great laughter. That was me, only there was no laughter. It wasn’t a matter of putting one foot in front of the other. It was a matter of putting one foot slightly ahead of the other, until we eventually reached the front door.
Everything has been slow ever since. Sitting down, laying down, getting up, walking, showering, dressing have all been at a pace that would make a dawdling child proud. I’ve been back at work for two days, and everything I do there is in slow motion. I spend a lot of time sitting in one place, and any movement must be done slowly. Thankfully, our dog has understood, and hasn’t been as playful with me as he usually is.
This week has given me a lot of time to read and reflect. It’s good to do that from time to time. Our lives get filled up with so much activity. We rush from place to place, from event to event. Our relationships with other people get crowded out, or simply left in the dust as we rush down the road. It’s easy for us to let our relationship with God fall victim to the hustle and bustle of our day-to-day. We give the Father a few hurried minutes in the morning, or a tired nod in the evening. We go through the day checking things off our to-do list, sometimes even including God.
We forget that we have a relationship with the Father. Any relationship suffers when either party hurries too quickly through life and leaves the other behind. Jesus called his disciples to coma apart and rest. The three years they spent together were at a pace that would drive most of us crazy. The idea was for the disciples to just be with Jesus. Through spending time with the Master, they would learn his teachings,and would learn to be like him.
Sometimes we need to “be still” and simply know that God is God. That’s hard to do, unless something happens, like surgery, to slow us down. Living a life that is in tune to the rhythms of the Father, rather than the noise of the world around us goes against what we are told by that world. Sometimes it even is contrary to what we are told in the church. It is counter-cultural, but that is what we are called to be.
In a couple of weeks, when I have recovered to the point where I can get around normally, I hope I remember to take things a bit slower, being sensitive to the Spirit.
A Milestone?
Yesterday was my 300th post on this blog. I had posted a few thoughts on xanga and myspace before, but a little over two years ago I decided to begin writing on this blog.
It’s been an interesting 26 months. I’ve gone from being part of a group that was trying to “modernize” a traditional, conservative church to being a part of a fellowship that meets in a bagel shop. I now see the local assembly as a part of the wider body of Christ that meets for fellowship and building each other up. Those meetings may or may not take place at a particular place or at a particular time. There are a number of other areas, such as leadership and church finances, where my thinking has changed. I’ve also become convinced that there is no one right way to “do church,” and I am much more willing to extend grace to others who don’t see things the same way.
Probably the greatest thing that has changed in the past two years is the growing importance of grace in my life. I can’t think of anything that has had the impact of realizing that my Father loves me, no matter what. Not only does he love me, but he also likes me and delights in me. All of this is not dependent on what I do or don’t do. It’s all because of God’s grace. That grace causes me to try and treat everyone with grace. I don’t do it very well at times, but it is a motivator in my life.
I enjoy writing. I enjoy putting my thoughts out into cyberspace and receiving feedback from readers. I don’t expect to ever be on anyone’s top ten blogger list, but that’s okay. I’ll continue to write, and a few folks will continue to read. If anyone happens to be blessed by it, so much the better.