Category: Love

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Blast From the Past: Delight and Desire

This was first published on May 18, 2010.

Psalm 37: 4 says, “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I was taught growing up that if you had God as your greatest delight, he would change your desires so they would be in line with what God wanted. and then those desires would be granted. This meant that our desires would become things like having bigger ministries, or other things that meant we were becoming better Christians. Another interpretation is that if we really delight in God, all of our wishes will be granted, even if those include a luxury car, a nicer house, and plenty of money.

Both of these interpretations have one thing in common. They both treat God as a kind of divine vending machine. If you put something in, you get something out. Usually the way you prove your delight in God is by doing more Bible reading and praying, by going to church more often, or by doing any number of practices. Any of these things are fine in and of themselves. The problem comes when we do them thinking that it will obligate God to do certain things for us. It doesn’t matter if those things are material or not, if we see them as payment for the things we do, we are wrong.

We were talking about this in our gathering on Sunday, and I got to thinking. What if delighting in God is the desire? God doesn’t put the priority on what we do, but rather on being in relationship with him. Jesus said that eternal life is knowing the Father, and knowing the Son. We are given life not just to live a moral life and then go to heaven when we die. We are given life in order to intimately know the Father and the Son. Everything we do comes out of that relationship.

When a married couple love each other, they each take delight in the other. That delight does bring about certain actions, but it is not the actions that bring about the delight, rather it is the other way around. The goal of the delight is not to get things from the other. Instead it is delight that is rewarded with greater intimacy, which brings greater delight, which brings…you get the picture.

I believe that it is that way in our relationship with our Father. When we delight in him, when our beings are wrapped up in getting to know him better and living in his love, God gives us the thing we desire, more intimacy with him. That causes more desire, which brings about more delight, and so on. As I look at Psalm 37, I see God blessing his people in ways that go beyond just material and physical.

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Thirty Four Years and Counting

On this date, thirty four years ago, I married a wonderful young lady by the name of Jan. When we said, “I do”, neither of us realized what the years would bring. Like all couples, we brought our own selves into the marriage, and there were adjustments. One of the decisions we made before the wedding was to never consider divorce as an option. I believe that commitment has been a strength of our marriage.

Through the years, we have learned what it means to live out that commitment. We have had to learn how to communicate openly, how to figure out which things were important and which were not, and how to extend grace. As we learned those things, we grew to understand each other more and more. That has served us well in the twists and turns of our journey together.

We’ve been through a lot together in these thirty four years of marriage. Getting jobs, losing jobs, having enough, and wondering if we’ll have enough. We’ve lost loved ones together, and gained and lost friends. We’ve had our ups and downs as we’ve learned to live with one another. Through it all, we have seen God`s grace time and time again.

As I look back on the years, I know that if I had the chance to do it all again, I would. I am so supremely blessed to have the privilege of being married to the most beautiful, wonderful woman on earth. Jan, I love you, and I thank God for you. Here’s to another thirty four years!

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Keep On Keeping On, and Rest

I’ve entered into one of those “I don’t know” phases of my life. I feel like I’m beginning a period of transition. It seems as if there is more for me to do with the gifts God has given me, or at least something different. As my involvement in our community of faith has grown and evolved, I am sensing that God wants me to shift my focus.

What I believe the Spirit is leading me to do is to keep on doing at least part of what I am doing. At the same time I sense that I am to rest and let God lead me rather than to go out and push things as far as relationships and service. Any of you that know me know that I have a tendency to run ahead and try to make things happen. It is hard for me to rest and trust that my Father is going to take care of everything. Two of the things God has given me are the ability to teach, and a heart that is empathetic towards other people. I care deeply about others’ well being (sometimes it seems as if I care too deeply, but that’s another story that’s yet to be written). Because of these things, I sometimes push things too far and forget to give space for God to work, hence the need to rest and trust.

I am learning that I can rest while working because I have seen the Father work time and time again through what I do, and sometimes in spite of what I do. I have seen God redeem my mistakes, and turn them into something far better than anything I could have brought about. It’s a hard lesson to learn, and is one that I am continually learning. Thankfully, God has placed me in a community that is all about the gospel, discipleship, and bringing the kingdom to bear in our surroundings. I am learning how to use the gifts God has given me in a way that shows the truth, goodness, and beauty of Jesus to those around us. Not just to “build a church,” but to be the church. To be in this world as a witness to the gospel, rather than just witness to people while somehow being apart from them.

It wouldn’t surprise me if some of you are going through the same sort of thing. You believe that God has gifted you in certain ways and you aren’t sure how to proceed at this stage in your journey. I don’t have any pat answers, no series of steps to take to fulfill your potential or whatever. All I can do is
suggest a couple of things because of how I’ve seen God work. These are things I’ve come to believe are vital.

The most important thing is to find a group of believers who are committed to living life together. Join with them, be willing to take off the masks and walk through the messiness of life with them. Not just a “small group,” but a group of folks who will love and accept you as you are, and who will
also challenge you in your walk with Jesus. Commit yourself to them, and be willing to be discipled. God will also bring some your way that you can disciple. Second, allow the Spirit to use the messiness of community to work in you and shape you. In the give and take of a family of faith, you learn how to use what God has given you in a way that advances his kingdom. You learn how to live as Jesus loved, and serve as he served. Be willing to put up with the imperfectness of other people and situations in order to live life together with fellow pilgrims on this journey. Be in it for the long haul. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it.

May the Father lead you to a community of believers where you can grow in love and grace.

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Blast From the Past: Hands

This was first posted on April 11, 2008.

Nickel Creek has a song titled “The Hand Song”. The words are challenging.

The boy only wanted to give Mother something
And all of her roses had bloomed
Looking at her as he came rushing in with them
Knowing her roses were doomed
All she could see were some thorns buried deep
And the tears that he cried as she tended his wounds
And she knew it was love
It was one she could understand
He was showing his love
And that’s how he hurt his hands

He still remembers that night as a child
On his mother’s knee
She held him close and she opened her Bible
And quietly started to read
And seeing a picture of Jesus he cried out
“Momma, he’s got some scars just like me.”
And he knew it was love
It was one he could understand
He was showing his love
And that’s how he hurt his hands

Now the boy’s grown and moved out on his own
When Uncle Sam comes along
A foreign affair, but our young men were there
And luck had his number drawn
It wasn’t that long till our hero was gone
He gave to a friend what he learned at the cross
But they knew it was love
It was one they could understand
He was showing his love
And that’s how he hurt his hands

How willing are we to do whatever it takes to show our love? We who have learned at the cross – do we give to others what we have learned?

Are we even willing to get our hands dirty, let alone hurt them to show the same love that Jesus showed us at the cross?

They understand love. May we show it.

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Blast From the Past: The Truth Hurts?

This was first posted on September 24, 2009.

Last night I saw a church sign which read, “If the truth hurts, it must be working.” Well, maybe. It is true that there are times when the truth does hurt in order to work, times when hard changes need to be made in our lives. We can all think of times when truth was spoken to us, causing us pain that, in turn, caused us to change.

Unfortunately, many times the truth is used as a club. Some have an idea that they know God’s truth and that it is their responsibility to make sure everyone knows it. They claim to be “speaking the truth in love,” saying that they are showing love simply by speaking the truth, no matter how harshly the message is proclaimed. Of course, sometimes the “truth” that they loudly speak is nothing more than their interpretation.

There is also truth that does not hurt. The message of God’s grace and mercy is one example. The promise of resurrection is another. And while it is true that we all struggle with sin, it is also true that the Father loves us unconditionally, has given us the Holy Spirit to work in us, and is forming us into the likeness of Jesus Christ.

The reality is that truth transforms as the Spirit takes it and uses it in the life of the Christ-follower. It may hurt, but then again it may feel wonderful.

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The Lord’s Prayer: Forgive Our Debts…

As we pray through the prayer that Jesus taught his disciples, we pray for the Father’s name to be praised, for his kingdom to come on this earth, and for our Father to give us what we need. In the midst of this we must remember that, since we live in a broken world, there will be debts that we will incur in our relationship to the Father, and debts that others will incur as they relate to us. Because the term “debt” brings to mind financial stuff, and because we have a tendency to downplay the wrong that we do, I prefer to use the word “sin.”

In the gospels, we see Jesus forgiving sins and telling others to forgive. Jesus’ ministry was one of forgiveness and reconciliation, and he calls his followers to be people of forgiveness and reconciliation. Luke tells us of the time Jesus was at the home of Simon the Pharisee, where his feet were washed by a “sinful” woman. Jesus stated that those who have been forgiven much are those who love much. None of us can say that we haven’t been forgiven much. Well, I guess you could say it. But you’d be wrong. Just sayin’. We have been forgiven our sin against a holy God. That makes what God has done for us pretty huge. In our lives, I seriously doubt that any wrong done to us comes close to the wrong we have done God.

Matthew tells us of Peter’s question of how many times we should forgive someone who sins against us. Peter though he was being generous with a number of seven. Jesus once again ups the ante. He states that we are to forgive seven times seven, or seventy times seven, depending on which translation you use. Jesus is not saying that we are to keep track of the wrongs done to us, and drop the hammer on the fiftieth or four hundred ninety first time. Many times, the number seven in Scripture speaks off completion. Maybe what Jesus is saying here is that we should forgive others completely and utterly no matter how many times they sin against us. I believe that Jesus’ words imply reconciliation. Someone is not generally going to have the opportunity to wrong us multiple times unless we are in relationship with that person. We are called to be vulnerable with our brothers and sisters, being willing to be hurt by them and forgive.

In the same passage in Matthew, Jesus tells the story of the servant who owed his master a huge chunk of change. The master graciously forgave the entire debt, only to find out that this servant then went and imprisoned a fellow servant who owed him just a few bucks. I believe that the thrust of this story is that we have been forgiven an unpayable debt, so we are to forgive those who are indebted to us in what is essentially a minuscule amount. If we do not forgive, we are telling the world that we haven’t been forgiven. Again, when we consider our huge debt that God has forgiven, how can we not forgive the tiny debt that anyone owes us. The Father has forgiven our great sin, and no wrong that is done to us can ever match that.

We are to live as forgiven, and forgiving, people. Anything less is contrary to what our Father wants.

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The Lord’s Prayer: Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

I could also title this post “The Real Prosperity Gospel.”

In the Lord’s Prayer, we pray for our Father’s name to be glorified, and for his kingdom to come on this earth as it is in heaven. The next thing we pray for is for our daily provisions. This prayer is counter to the way those in the kingdom of this world operate, and unfortunately contrary to the way many Christians live their lives as well.

I believe that the teaching that God wants everyone to be wealthy and healthy and have success in everything they do doesn’t go far enough. I know that sounds strange. Hear me out. Those who teach what is known as the prosperity gospel put their followers eyes on the things of this earth, on things that will not last. A new car? It will rust and quit running. A big house? It will crumble. (Especially with the way they’re building houses these days) Lots of money in the bank? All gone someday. Success in business, etc.? Eventually your business will close. Fame? Most of us will be forgotten eventually.

Why do we spend so much energy playing in the mud in the ghetto when we have the offer of a trip to the beach? We have a Father who owns everything. His kingdom is forever, and is full of unimaginable riches. We are told in Scripture that we are fellow heirs of all things with Jesus. We have the righteousness of Christ. We have his Spirit in us. We have the expectation of glory, in fact, Romans 8 tells us that we are already glorified. It just doesn’t show completely yet. Our Father gives us good gifts.

Praying for our daily needs means we realize our dependence on God. We put ourselves in his hands and humbly ask rather than demand. A child who loves his father doesn’t go to him and demand things, unless that child is spoiled. A child who loves and is loved by her father knows that all she has to do is ask and her father can be trusted to provide for her. She also knows that her father will do what is best and not give her anything that is not good for her. In the same way, we trust that our Father will not give us a stone when we ask for bread, but knows exactly what is best for us, and will give us exactly what we need. Many times, God goes far beyond just what we need. We can simply trust Abba to do exactly what is best for us.

One of the things God has taught me through the years is that it is far better for me to simply put my needs and desires in his loving hands. It doesn’t depend on how well I’ve been praying or on how much faith I have. It simply depends on what my Papa, who loves me with a perfect love, knows is the best thing for me. As his love fills me more and more, Jesus’ words become more real. To paraphrase, seek first and foremost the kingdom of God and you will get that. The rest is just gravy.

Rest in who you are in Christ and that will bring the contentment that is able to humbly ask the Father for each day’s needs, knowing that it’s all taken care of. The Psalmist tells us that the Lord is our shepherd, and that we will never lack. While we may not have everything we want, we will have everything we need. Along with that we have Jesus, and with him all the blessings of the new heaven and new earth which will last far longer than anything we can hope to have on this earth.

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Blast From the Past: Being Real

This was first posted on November 15, 2010.

A few years ago, there was a thread on theooze.com titled “Which story are you in?” As I thought about what story I was in at the time, I thought of one of my favorite all-time stories – “The Velveteen  Rabbit”. The story is about a stuffed rabbit who becomes real because of the love of a little boy.

As I thought about all that has transpired in my journey the last few years, I thought how God’s love is making me “real.” The process has not been without pain. In the story the Skin Horse tells the Velveteen Rabbit that becoming real may hurt but that when you do become real you don’t mind the hurt. So it is with being formed into the image of Christ – the hurt pales in comparison to the final result, so in some sense you really don’t mind it.

The Skin Horse also said that while you might not seem real to others, the one that matters is the one that is causing you to become real through their love. Again that has its parallel in the process of becoming like Jesus. You come to the place where the only one whose opinion of you matters is God.
Obviously, I have a long way to go in the process of becoming real. But God is working.

What story are you in?

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Blast From the Past: Those Who Love Little

This was first posted on April 21, 2009.

In chapter 7 of his gospel, Luke tells the story of Jesus at a dinner party at the home of Simon the Pharisee. During the dinner, an immoral woman comes into the room and washes Jesus’ feet with her tears, dries them with her hair, and then anoints them with very expensive perfume. Of course Simon is appalled that this wicked women would dare to interrupt his event, and wonders why Jesus is allowing her to do this to him. Jesus then tells a parable of two men who were forgiven debts, and makes the point that the one who has been forgiven much will love much.


There are a couple of things that strike me about this account. The first is the attitude many who call themselves Christians show toward Jesus. In that time period, it was a common courtesy for a host to provide water to wash the feet of his guest, removing the dust of the journey. It also was customary to give a kiss of greeting and anoint the head of the guest with oil. By doing these things the host showed that he valued his guest and was glad for the visit. Simon did none of those things for Jesus, displaying an attitude of indifference, at best. Simon seems to think that Jesus is very fortunate to have been invited to a dinner at the home of an esteemed religious leader.


It seems that many, by their actions and attitudes, give the impression that Jesus is lucky to have them on his side. The statement by Jesus that we can do nothing without him is forgotten completely, or is explained away. I have heard folks talk about how great it would be if certain talented and famous individuals would become Christians and how much all their fame and talent could do for God. How many have given in to the idea that because I am doing all these things for God, he owes me? We wonder how God can let trouble into our lives when we have worked so hard and been so faithful.


This attitude also comes out in the way we treat others. We withhold forgiveness.We denigrate those who don’t see eye to eye with us. We judge others who don’t appear as spiritual as we try to. We place a premium on looking good in front of people, and spend a great deal of energy creating masks to hide our brokenness. So much of what we do is designed to put everyone, including Jesus at arms’ length from who we really are. At some point we forget just how much we have been forgiven.

By contrast, the immoral women was not interested in hiding who she was. She knew she was a sinner. She knew that Jesus was the only one who could help her, and she was desperate to get to him, no matter what anyone thought. If she had any masks, she left them at home. She not only did for Jesus what Simon should have done, she lavished her attention on him. Many would probably say that she went a bit overboard with her worship. She not only sacrificed an expensive possession, but she also sacrificed any shred of dignity she may have had left. All because she realized how much she had been forgiven.

May we all be reminded of the great love God has shown us in Jesus and the great forgiveness he has given us. May we love greatly.
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Alone and Vulnerable

We are told in Scripture that the devil prowls around like a lion, hunting for someone to devour. While I don’t believe a Christian can be ultimately harmed by satan, I do think there is a warning to us when it comes to how we live our lives. We are to be vigilant because the lion has many ways to try and attack us. To me, this speaks of the necessity of being in community with fellow believers.

When lions or other pack animals hunt, they pick out the most vulnerable member of a herd. They look for an animal that is sick, or a young one that may be slower than the rest. They may focus on one that has strayed away from the herd a bit. When the pack makes its charge, the target can be brought down quickly unless it can reach the safety of the herd or unless one of the stronger members is able to defend it.
A follower of Jesus who is trying to go it alone is a vulnerable target for the enemy. If we are by ourselves, we lose the benefit of learning how to love as Jesus loved, the benefit of wise counsel from others, and the growth that comes from the messiness of sharing life together. It is very easy for us to get the idea that we are doing everything right without input from others. Our blind spots are just that. Usually we don’t know about them unless someone who loves us points them out. If we isolate ourselves and only hear one point of view or one teacher, we run the risk of embracing teaching that does not match up with Scripture. Many times, we need the give and take of a group in order to discern what God wants us to know and do.  
Jesus gave us the command to love our brothers and sisters as he loved us. We cannot do that if we are separate from them. We are also told to make disciples. That can only be done in a community of folks that are committed to helping each other learn to follow Jesus. It doesn’t happen in isolation.  
A community that loves, that challenges, that disciples, is a safe place. Yes, there will be messiness. Yes, there will be times when we hurt one another. But a community that is centered in Jesus and his gospel will provide what we need to follow Christ and be a light in a dark world.