Category: Love

Posted on

Wisdom of Pooh Bear

The other night, Jan and I went to the $2 theater and saw the new Winnie the Pooh. We thoroughly enjoyed it, because we are longtime Winnie the Pooh fans, and because it was a well done film. As usually happens when watching a movie, the wheels started turning in my brain.

What struck me while sitting in the dark was the way the characters related to each other. In the Hundred Acre Wood, there is a wide variety of personalities, with accompanying idiosyncrasies. Each character brings something different to the table, and each has strengths and weaknesses. In spite of all these differences they all get along. As the story unfolded, there were misunderstandings, miscommunication, and a lot of times when one character would do something that would cause a huge disruption. Through all of the coming and going, no matter what happened, the entire Hundred Acre Wood community was characterized by love, grace, and acceptance. No matter how many times Tigger bounced into a scene and created havoc, there were no harsh words spoken. Even though Owl was a pompous windbag at times, no one was critical. Every time there was potential for conflict, it ended with grace and forgiveness. In the end, each of the characters contributed from their strengths and the goal toward which they had been working was reached.
I know that Winnie the Pooh is a children’s story, and some may say that it presents an idealistic view of how things could be in order to teach. Think about it. Jesus said that we enter the Kingdom by becoming like a little child. In the Kingdom, we each bring our weaknesses and quirks, as well as our gifts. We are told to let our relationships with others be full of grace and love. We are told to forgive without end. We are told to look out for each other’s interests ahead of our own, as Pooh did when he put his hunt for honey on hold to help rescue Christopher Robin. We are told to lay down our lives for each other.
Winnie the Pooh may be a children’s story, but I believe there are a lot of lessons there.
Posted on

Forgiveness and Wholeness

The readings this week in the Mosaic Bible are on forgiveness. In one of the selections, Bill Senyard writes:

“Think about this. If the victim and the perpetrator are both, by faith, made whole-
imagine the new dynamics between them and with others. The result is a new creation-
a community that looks strangely fearless, vulnerable, and intimate. Of the present fruit
of the passion of Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:18), I would suggest that this is one of the most
neglected.
Many Scriptures describe what redeemed relationships could now look like in Jesus
Christ – husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and workers. If each party is
redemptively healed, then relationships take on a radical trajectory – for no one needs to
steal, to use, to abuse. In the end, only forgiven people are free to give to others with
abandon.”
I agree with Senyard that the most neglected, even forgotten, part of forgiveness is reconciliation. We are taught, rightly so, that God forgives us our sins, and therefore God will not punish us. That is true, but I believe that God’s forgiveness does more than take away our guilt and punishment. According to 2 Corinthians 5:18, God has reconciled us to himself through Christ. One of the aspects of our forgiveness is reconciliation with God. Our relationship with him is redeemed and we are healed. We are made whole.
Because we are forgiven, we are to forgive others. As Senyard writes, only the forgiven are free to give to others with abandon. An important part of forgiving others is reconciliation. If I am wronged by someone, and I don’t seek to be reconciled and see both of us made whole, am I truly forgiving? Am I whole if my relationship with others is not whole? Some who wrong me may have no desire to be reconciled. I believe that I should still go to them and make the attempt. If they do not wish to be made whole, then I have no further responsibility, but I can at least try. In that attempt, I believe healing will take place in my own heart.
Another part of seeking wholeness is making sure that we are blameless in our relationships. Sometimes we are guilty of sinning against others. Either we truly don’t know about the offense, or we are so wrapped up in ourselves that we don’t recognize what we have done. If my relationship with my wife is strained, and I don’t go to her and find out what the problem is and seek forgiveness and reconciliation, can I really say that I love her? By the same token, if my relationship with a brother or sister is strained and I have even an inkling that I may have sinned against them, I am to go to them and do what I can to make it right. If I don’t, can I really say that I love them?
Jesus gives both parties in a relationship responsibility to maintain the health of that relationship. In Matthew 5:23-24, he teaches the responsibility of the one who commits an offense. In Matthew 18 Jesus gives us the responsibility of one who has been wronged. In the passage in 2 Corinthians, Paul states that we who have been forgiven and made whole have been given a ministry of reconciling others to God. I believe that part of that ministry is bringing wholeness to our relationships with others, which brings wholeness to us and to them.
Posted on

Qualities of a Learner 4

This is the final post in a series on qualities of a learner. In part 1 we looked at being caring and principled. Part 2 was about being open minded, a thinker, and knowledgeable. In part 3 we looked at being reflective, inquiring, and a communicator. This time I want to look at the qualities of balance and risk taking.

A learner of Jesus should be balanced. This is another dirty word for some. Some see balance as being wishy-washy and not passionate about anything. That is not how I see balanced. Someone who is a follower of Jesus is going to be seen as unbalanced by many in the world. The source of our passion in life is Jesus, and our wholehearted devotion is to him alone. I see balanced as being able to experience all of the myriad ways God blesses us, and the ways we worship him. It can be easy for someone who is an active, serving individual to neglect and even disparage contemplation and study. It can also be easy for a contemplative to neglect action. There are many ways for us to relate to the Father and to draw near to him, and we should be open to those at different times in our lives.
Lastly, the learner of Jesus must be a risk taker. Considering what Jesus said about what would happen to his followers, we should realize that simply throwing in our lot with Christ is taking a risk. We risk when we tell those around us that we owe allegiance to the King of Kings, and no other. We risk when we don’t go along with the powers that be. Those actually may be somewhat easy for some. What many of us find hard is the risk taken in loving others and laying down our lives for them. That is risky because relationships can be messy. If I am not willing to risk rejection and pain, then my relationships will never be as deep as my Master desires them to be. It is risky for me to go to a brother or sister and ask their forgiveness, because they may refuse. It is also risky to go to another and tell them how they have sinned against me. They may well turn that around and hurt me further. My responsibility is not to change them or win them over. My responsibility is to trust my Abba to take care of me and throw myself on his love and grace as I seek to be reconciled. It may not turn out the way I want, but the One who created the universe can redeem any situation, no matter how hard.
Jesus, help those of us who are your followers to be caring, thoughtful, open minded communicators who are principled in our lives. Help us to not fear to take risks, to be knowledgeable inquirers who take time to reflect on you. In all this give us the balance that comes from living in your presence.
Posted on

Soup and Relationships

I know. You’re wondering what in the world soup has to do with relationships. I’m glad you asked. For in-service training at the middle school where I work, we are reading Soup by Jon Gordon. It is a book about a company that makes soup and the lessons that the new CEO learns on her way to turning the company around. While reading this book, I was once again struck by the idea that all truth is God’s truth, and that we can learn from unexpected sources.

At one point in the story, one of the characters makes this statement: “Communication, trust, and love create the foundation for any successful relationship. Without communication, trust, and love, your relationship won’t be very strong; and without strong relationships you can’t have a strong team; and if you don’t have a strong team, then you can’t have a strong organization. Relationships are the foundation upon which winning teams and organizations are built.” While this statement does work for businesses, I believe it is just as true for those of us who follow Jesus.
Our faith is a faith built on relationship. We belong to a God who is a relational Being. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are in a perfect love relationship with each other. I think you could say they have communication, trust, and love. We are also called into relationship with God. He has adopted us into his family, and calls us to accept his love and love him in return. God is someone who we can trust, and he communicates with us. Belonging to God is not a matter of saying or doing the right things. It is a matter of accepting and living in the love the Father has lavished on us.
Our relationships with others must be built on communication, trust, and love. Many of the problems in marriages, family relationships, and churches could be solved if we communicated with each other, if we trusted others enough to feel safe enough to communicate and were worthy of that trust, and if we loved enough to work through any problems that come from communication, or miscommunication. The primary command that Jesus gave us is to love each other as he loves us. We are to lay down our lives for our friends. How many times is our lack of communication, trust, and love due to our unwillingness to lay down our preferences, our “rights,” our comfort. We don’t put forth the effort to build relationships with fellow believers, and therefore our lives and churches are smaller and have less joy than what is possible.
Communication, trust, and love take work. It can be messy, and sometimes we can get hurt. But just as building relationships was the foundation on which the revival of the soup company was based, so relationships are the foundation on which God’s kingdom is built. After all, Jesus did say that our love for each other would be the way the world would know that we belonged to him.
Posted on

It’s Time Once Again…

…to celebrate. It’s time to remember an event from the past. No, I’m not talking about the thing that happened 235 years ago. This event is in the more recent past. Thirty one years ago, as a matter of fact.

Yes, that’s right. It’s time once again to celebrate the day that Jan and I said, “I do.” Tomorrow, July 5 is our thirty-first anniversary. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, but on the other hand, it seems as if we have been married forever. I have a hard time imagining what it was like to be single. In fact, I can’t imagine life without Jan.
Over the years we have grown as individuals, and as a couple. God has brought us through so many different experiences, some that were joyous and some that tried our faith. We’ve raised two children and experienced much that goes along with that. We’ve seen three of our four parents age and pass from this earth. We’ve had tough financial times when we wondered where the money was going to come from, and we’ve had times when we could pass on some extra to those in need. We’ve lived in the Washington, D.C. area, Cincinnati, and Rock Hill, SC. We’ve worked in the same schools, and we’ve spent time in different jobs. Through it all, we have seen the Father take care of us and provide for us in ways we never could have imagined.
Our faith journey has taken its share of twists and turns. We’ve spent time in different types of churches, and are currently part of a fellowship that meets in a house. Our understanding of and relationship with God has changed and grown over our life together. As our relationship with God has deepened, our love for each other has deepened as well. I am learning more and more how to love Jan as Jesus loved the church, although I still have a long way to go. Again, the faithfulness of Abba has been an amazing thing.
The last thirty one years have been a wonderful part of my journey. I’m extremely thankful to God for the precious gift he gave me in Jan. I’m looking forward to what the next thirty one + years will bring.
Jan, I love you so much more than yesterday, and so much less than tomorrow.
Posted on

As It Turns Out, Love Does Win

No, this isn’t a post about the recent book that has some corners of the blogoverse all a-Twitter. Sunday morning, we were talking about following Jesus in 21st Century and how to convey the idea of Christ as King and Lord to a culture that knows nothing about kings and masters. We live in a country where we elect our leaders, and we can vote them out if we don’t like the way they lead us. How do we talk about a ruler to people who cherish democracy and hate being told what to do?

As I thought about this question, I realized that a possible answer lies in the type of kingdom Jesus established. Jesus came in the midst of a world that had much experience with kings. Kings who established their kingdoms by overthrowing others. Kings who ruled by force and fear. Jesus came to inaugurate a kingdom based on love, a kingdom begun by a king who submitted to a cruel execution at the hands of the Roman empire. Jesus kingdom later turned that empire upside down. By love.
When you think about it, our world really isn’t that much different than the Roman world in the first century. We elect our leaders, but how many of us obey the laws of our land because we love them. For the most part, people obey the law because they don’t want to face the consequences of breaking that law. Just notice all the brakelights that come on when drivers on the highway see a state trooper on the side. Most people live lives full of fear. They fear the opinion of others. They fear the future. They fear being seen as they really are. There is force as well. The force of public opinion, the force of things that control us, the force of religion dictating how they live their lives.
As the early Christians did, we have a message that can free folks from their chains of fear and force. We are part of a kingdom, economy, world, family (whatever you want to call it), in which love rules. The reason we are in this is the love of Christ for us. Because Jesus loves us, we love. We love the Father, and we love his children. We also love those around us. We do what we do because of love. It is love that shows the world around us that we belong to Jesus, not the force of our moral or theological arguments. It is love that makes us different, not a set of behavioral rules. It is love that takes us to serve the least of these rather than expect them to come to us. It is love that lets us forgive when everyone else says we should get our revenge. It is love that allows us to lay down our lives for others when the world tells us to look out for number one. Love is the foundation of Christ’s kingdom, and it is by love that his kingdom will conquer.
“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18)
Posted on

A Place to Be

The language arts class in which I assist just finished reading Maniac Magee, by Jerry Spinelli. Because I leave halfway through the class each day, I was only able to catch bits and pieces, but I was able to get the basic idea of the book. It’s about a boy who is orphaned at age three, and spends the next few years of his life trying to find a place to call home. He bounces from place to place, never allowing himself to feel comfortable at any one of them because he is afraid to settle in, afraid to let himself get too close, afraid of losing anyone else.

As we finished the book today, I started thinking about how that is so like those of us who follow Jesus. We’re afraid. Afraid to let others get too close, or to get too close to them. We’re afraid that we won’t be accepted once people discover the real us. I think our biggest fear is the fear of being hurt. I know that fear personally, and there have been times when I have tried to not get too close to folks in certain groups, because I have been hurt and don’t want to get hurt again. I understand those who have to deal with that.
I believe that these fears are one of the reasons churches are not what they could be. Many are looking for a safe place, but they don’t let themselves get too comfortable or too close to the people in a church. In a large church, they can hide. Eventually though, they will get the vague feeling that something is wrong, that the church is not meeting their needs. They will then look somewhere else, like Maniac Magee. Unfortunately the cycle will continue to repeat itself, or they will give up on the whole church thing altogether. Or, they may come upon a small to mid-size church that bills itself as a place “where people matter.” They soon find out that people matter as part of a program, not as individuals. Conflicts may happen, and then, out they go. Some spend their whole lives looking for a place to belong.
Even those who are part of simple churches are not immune to these fears. Again, they are perfectly understandable. If one of the goals of a simple church is to know and be known, there will inevitably be conflict. Too many folks have the idea that if they can just “do church” the way the early church did, all of their problems will be solved. Have you read the letters the Apostles wrote to the early churches lately? It seems that a large part of those letters were written to address problems that the people were having with each other. I have yet to be in a church where a man was sleeping with his father’s wife.
Anytime we deal with people, there will be conflicts. Life is messy, and the deeper we let people into our lives, the better the chance that we will be hurt. That hurt makes it hard to believe that we are safe, that it is really possible to live in community. Some return to the old routine of moving from place to place, never allowing themselves to get comfortable or to love again. Others will give up, and try to go it alone. Both approaches have problems. The first puts us right back into the system that hasn’t produced the community that many look for. The second forgets the fact that the Church is the Body of Christ, that we need each other as the body needs each of its parts. When a limb is amputated, the patient experiences a phantom limb, feeling pain in a part of the body that isn’t there. The same thing happens in the Body of Christ.
Living in community is hard. The conflicts happen, and the wounds they leave are real, and sometimes deep. I don’t believe the answer is to hide our hearts deeper, or refuse to be vulnerable again. Loving and being loved is hard, messy, and painful. It can not be accomplished in our own strength, it can only be done in the power of the risen Christ, the One who has told us to love each other as he loves us.
Be encouraged. Community and love can happen. It is what Abba wants. It is how others will know we belong to Jesus.
Posted on

You Are More

In our gathering Sunday, we were discussing who we were in Christ. We were talking about how we often react to certain situations and people according to old scripts that tell us we are this or we are that. We listen to lies that people have told us, saying that we are worthless, that we are stupid, that we are unloved. Because we believe those scripts, we have a hard time believing that God really loves us, and we are not free to love ourselves or to love others as Jesus has loved us. One of our brothers played a song by the group Tenth Avenue North titled “You Are More.”

Here are the lyrics:

There’s a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she’s wandered
And the shame she can’t hide

She says, “How did I get here?
I’m not who I once was.
And I’m crippled by the fear
That I’ve fallen too far to love”

But don’t you know who you are,
What’s been done for you?
Yeah don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she’s been given new life
But she can’t shake the feeling
That it’s not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she’s rehearsed all the lines
And so she’ll try to do better
But then she’s too weak to try

But don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,

You’ve been remade.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you.
This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You’ve been remade
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.

You are more. More than what you have done, more than what has happened to you. You are more than what the old scripts tell you. You are a beloved child of the Creator, a co-heir with Christ. You are made in God’s image, more than simply a “sinner saved by grace.” You are free! Let me repeat. You. Are. Free! Free to love your Father with reckless abandon, knowing that he loves you the same way.

You are more. So much more.

Posted on

Free!

I read a couple of posts this morning that started the wheels turning in my head (that’s what the squeaking noise was). The first post was by Dan Edelen here, and the second was by Jeff Dunn and is found here.

As one who grew up and served in conservative Christian circles, I have constantly bumped against walls that were put up to keep us from engaging in certain behaviors, or to make us do other things. I’ve always been anti-legalism, and over the years cultivated an image as a bit of a rebel. Unfortunately, the image was many times driven by a desire to do what I wanted rather than what God wanted. I was more anti-legalism than pro grace.
I am learning that a reliance on God’s grace and love is what should define my life. The posts mentioned above are part of that learning. I am learning that Romans 7:5-6, Galatians 2:19-21, and Colossians 2:20-23 are good passages to live by. I am learning that my Father loves me no matter what I do or don’t do. I am learning that Jesus took away all my sins: past, present, and future. Not only that, but the power of sin has been broken by Christ.
Sin is no longer the defining force in my life. I still sin, but I also have a Savior that has freed me. When I do sin, it’s not because sin is controlling me. It’s life. It’s part of being a man who is still learning how to follow Jesus and live in God’s grace. Fortunately, my Father doesn’t condemn me, he is not disappointed with me. He sees me as his beloved son. He teaches me and leads me, and continues to fill me with his love.
I’m learning that I am not in control of my life, God is. No matter hard I try, I can’t please God more. I can’t do things that are going to influence God to bless me. It’s not up to me.
I’m learning that I am a dead man. I have died to sin and its power. I have died to this world. I am dying to the opinions of other people, because the only opinion that counts is that of the One who calls me child. That last one will take some time.
I want to be as Jesus, who only did what the Father told him to do. Jeff Dunn says that folks accuse him of being “all grace.” I’ll gladly accept that label. Dan Edelen writes, “Anymore, the only rules I impose on myself on this walk of faith are, am I loving the Lord, and am I loving other people.” That sounds good to me. Jesus himself said that the two greatest commandments are to love God and love others, and that everything else hangs on that.
Posted on

Church the Way It Used to Be?

The other day I was traveling down the interstate here in the sunny South, and I saw a billboard that advertised a certain church that also had a Christian school. The sign proclaimed that this particular ministry was “Church and school the way it used to be.” I got to thinking about this sign, and wondering what they meant.

Did they mean church the way it used to be when the American culture gave lip service to Christianity with blue laws and other vestiges of Christendom? Maybe they longed for the days when some churches in the South defended racism with Scripture proof-texts. How about going back to the days when the differences between churches were enough to start a war? Or perhaps, the folks in this church wanted to go all the way back to the first century, when churches argued over which teacher to follow, or treated the poor in their congregation with disrespect.
It doesn’t really matter what they meant by “church the way it used to be.” We are not living in any point of time during the last 2000 years. We are living today, in the 21st Century. While human nature is still basically the same, there are so many things that have changed. While some of us would like to be able to gather daily with the church as they did in the early church, that may be impossible today. Attitudes toward the church in America have changed in the last 50 or 60 years, so a different approach is necessary. In other parts of the world, the church faces an entirely different set of challenges. Their “good old days” may be a time when there was no church in that land. Should they long to go back to that?
Instead of looking back to an imagined time when “things were better,” and striving to get those days back, we should be looking for ways to be followers of Jesus in the time and place we are in. Although I can think of one way we can do things the way they used to be done, or at least should have been done all along. The first command that Jesus gave his church was to love one another as he loved us. That command has never changed.