Category: Love

Posted on

Reflections on the New Year

I haven’t blogged in almost two weeks. Due to traveling and other Christmas activities, my time on the computer was not as regular as it usually is. I just got caught up in my blog reading yesterday. I have had some time to reflect on the year that has past, and also to look ahead to the new one.


I’ve heard it said that the only constant in life is change. That has certainly been true in the past year. My job responsibilities changed, and I’m now working on a more individual basis with a few students. I enjoy it more than what I was doing, and I feel like I’m actually helping them. Jan left her job at the assisted living facility, and is teaching part time and cooking for a retreat center part time. Our church has not grown this year, in fact it has actually shrunk. That’s a good thing though. We made the decision to try and be open to each other and learn to live life with each other. It’s been an interesting experience, and I think we’ve grown closer as a community and have experienced a measure of healing and freedom. It will be interesting to see what the Father will do in us in 2011. God has been teaching me how to go through my day-to-day being aware of his presence, and focus on listening and doing what he tells me to do. I am learning, although there are times when what I think is the voice of God is just my addled brain talking.

I’m looking forward to this year. I’m sure it will bring changes, some positive, some not so much. I don’t make resolutions, mainly because I never keep them. 🙂 I do have certain things I want to see happen. You can call them goals if you want. I want to live in awareness of God’s presence more each day and hear his voice. I want the courage to take risks when the Spirit directs me. I want to love God and others with abandon, not worrying about what people may think. I want to be a blessing to my faith community, and to others that I come in contact with. I want to be a better husband, loving Jan more as Christ loved the Church. I want to be a better father to my adult children, letting them see Jesus.

I know the road ahead will take some turns. There will be some bumps, and there will be times when I will mess up. The one thing I know for certain is that my relationship with my Father doesn’t hinge on how many resolutions I make and keep, on how well I perform certain spiritual duties, or on anything that I do. Abba loves me, and there is nothing I can do that will change that in any way. I can be the prodigal, the elder brother, or something in between, and God still loves me with a reckless, graceful love. That is why I look forward to the year ahead.

You may make resolutions at the start of a new year, or you may not. You may set goals, and plan how to reach those goals. That’s fine. Just remember that some goals will be met, but others will not be realized. Some resolutions will be shelved until next year. Remember also, that your Father loves you and will continue to love you the same no matter whether you keep all your resolutions or not. You are free, free to make resolutions and then break them, free to set goals and then not meet them.
Jesus came to give us a full, abundant life. So, live. Be free. Abba loves you.
Posted on

I Am Sad Today

My heart is grieving today. Today would have been the 11th birthday of a little girl named Zahra Baker. She is the girl who was reported missing over a month ago, and whose remains are being found in various places. Those of you who live in the Charlotte area are familiar with the story.

My heart is grieving, but it also cries out for justice. I must admit that a large part of me asks for no mercy for someone who would abuse, and then kill, a child. Another part of me wonders what could cause someone to commit such unspeakable acts, and wonders at the injustices along the way that allowed this.

I could probably come up with a long list of failures on the part of people that caused this tragedy to happen. The whole story has not come out, but there was allegedly abuse at home. I don’t know how many visits social service workers made, or if they noticed anything amiss. Relatives have said that they knew that things were not good at home. One of them was quoted as saying that Zahra had a horrible home life, and that, “this was something…we knew was going happen.” The family’s neighbors had not seen the girl out of the house for at least a month, and some of them didn’t even know she lived there. My heart grieves for a world where relatives know something is going on and feel, for whatever reason, unable to step into the situation. I grieve for a world where neighbors don’t know what is going on in the lives of those around them.

I am not condemning the relatives or neighbors in this case. I don’t know their situations, so I have no right. What I do know, and what breaks my heart is that we live in a world where we have shut ourselves off from our neighbors, or in some cases, our own families. We leave our houses in the morning, drive to work by ourselves, spend our day barely interacting with our coworkers, drive back home, where we shut the door to the outside world. At the most, we wave to our neighbor as we drive away. How many of us spend time with those who live around us, getting to know them as people? How many of us who call themselves followers of Christ spend time with our neighbors without an agenda to “get them saved?” How many of us see them as beings made in the image of God, rather than as those on the “outside?”

Abuse and other problems happen in churches just like they do “out in the world.” We don’t pick up on these things because we do not build deeper relationships. How many of us really know those we call brothers and sisters in Christ? How many churches are filled with folks who show up on Sunday morning, settle into their comfortable seat, sing a few songs, listen to a stirring (or not) talk, then get into their cars and drive back home, waiting until the next week before they see anyone in the church again? Even many of our small groups are superficial, and don’t let any “fellowship” delve into what is really going on in our lives. We worship with people who look like us, think like us, and drive the same quality car as us. We make sure that our time together is spent on things that don’t unmask us, so we accumulate more knowledge. We equate discipleship to imparting knowledge about Scripture and the spiritual life rather than pouring our life into the life of another person. We are afraid to let others inside the wall, because we fear what they might say. We fear rejection or condemnation.

My heart grieves. It also cries, ‘Enough!” It is time for the body of Christ to stop acting like a bunch of unconnected parts, and begin spending time with one another, building into each other’s lives. This will be revolutionary for many in the institutional church, because it will mean that the majority of our time will need to be spent in going from house to house rather than from meeting to meeting. We will spend more time building relationships than building programs. Our money will go to help individuals in need instead of a building program. We will know who has need and giving will come naturally, not from a “benevolence ministry.”

Relationships are not easy. They can be very messy, and sometimes painful. The alternative is continuing in the, “How are you doing?” “Fine,” way of dealing with people. We can let down our guard and develop deep relationships fueled by love, or we can stay on the surface and never get to know others. We can know people and be known well enough to step in and help when it’s needed, or we can say we never saw it coming when the world collapses on them. We can be the body of Christ, or we can be people who just “go to church.”

Choose wisely.

Posted on

Being Real

A few years ago, there was a thread on theooze.com titled “Which story are you in?” As I thought about what story I was in at the time, I thought of one of my favorite all-time stories – “The Velveteen Rabbit”. The story is about a stuffed rabbit who becomes real because of the love of a little boy.

As I thought about all that has transpired in my journey the last few years, I thought how God’s love is making me “real.” The process has not been without pain. In the story the Skin Horse tells the Velveteen Rabbit that becoming real may hurt but that when you do become real you don’t mind the hurt. So it is with being formed into the image of Christ – the hurt pales in comparison to the final result, so in some sense you really don’t mind it.

The Skin Horse also said that while you might not seem real to others, the one that matters is the one that is causing you to become real through their love. Again that has its parallel in the process of becoming like Jesus. You come to the place where the only one whose opinion of you matters is God.

Obviously, I have a long way to go in the process of becoming real. But God is working.

What story are you in?

Posted on

St. Augustine Trip – Final Day

The last night in the inn had passed. It was now time to say goodbye to St. Augustine and begin the trek back to South Carolina. But first, there were things to do and places to see. After one more delicious breakfast we hopped on the trolley and rode it around town again, stopping at Memorial Presbyterian Church, built by Henry Flagler as a memorial to his only daughter.


From there we walked to Flagler College, which occupies the old Ponce de Leon Hotel built by Henry Flagler. It’s a beautiful campus.
From there, we walked around the Spanish Quarter some more, going into buildings and shops that were closed in the evenings the other days.

After finishing our explorations, we had one final stop – the St. Augustine Lighthouse. The lighthouse reportedly is also haunted, although we didn’t see anything out of the ordinary there either.

What can be see though, are great views of the ocean and the city.After leaving the lighthouse, we said farewell to the oldest continuously inhabited city in the United States. We left behind a few dollars, but we took with us fond memories of good times together, as well as some pictures. We arrived home later that night, tired and happy. It was a wonderful trip.

Posted on

St. Augustine Trip – Day 3

After another wonderful breakfast at the St. Francis Inn, Jan and I went on a cruise around Matanzas Bay. The cruise gave us a look at the city from a different perspective.
After the hour and a half cruise (thankfully no one named Gilligan was on board), we walked back to the inn to get our car and drove to the beach. The inn provided us with a place to change, towels and chairs, so we didn’t have to take anything with us. While the weather was extremely hot back in South Carolina, it was very pleasant at St. Augustine Beach.
We ate dinner at a small beach restaurant named Mango, Mangos, and then went back and walked around the old city some more before going back to the inn for dessert. After a relaxing evening, we called it a night as we had some driving to do the next day.

Posted on

St. Augustine Trip – Day 2

After a good night’s sleep, we awoke to a beautiful north coastal Florida day. We went downstairs to the dining roomand filled our plates with a delicious breakfast, which we ate outside in the courtyard.

After breakfast, we hopped the trolley to travel around the city, picking out places that we hadn’t seen in our previous visits so we could go back to them later. We ate lunch at the Santa Maria Restaurant, where diners can feed bread to the fish in the bay through small trapdoors in the window sills.
After lunch, we walked around the old Spanish Quarter, looking at buildings that, in some cases, predated Jamestown and Plymouth. Of course, we also shopped. After we had tromped around for a couple hours, we went back to the inn for hors d’oeuvres and drinks. We then walked back to the old city gates for a ghost walk. The only problem was that I had bought the tickets on-line and for some reason we weren’t on the list for the time I had reserved. So, we had to wait for a bit. We walked to the Spanish fort and sat on a bench and just relaxed, watching people and the boats on the bay. After about an hour or so, we went on the walk. We heard some interesting stories of paranormal encounters, but we didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. There were a couple of folks in our group who took pictures that showed things that weren’t visible to the eye, so…

After the tour was over, we walked back to the inn and rested up for the next day.

Posted on

St. Augustine Trip – Day 1

We traveled to St. Augustine on Monday from Summerville, SC, having spent the night with my sister and her family. Since Jan shares my enjoyment of traveling off the interstate, we rolled down Highway 17 to I-95 South. We took 95 through South Carolina and Georgia to just north of Jacksonville, FL. There we exited and got on A1A, which winds down the coast through the beach towns and vacation homes of north Florida. On the way we found that traveling on this particular road includes a trip on a ferry.

After a 15-20 minute trip, we were back on the road. We continued south until we made it to St. Augustine and the St. Francis Inn. The inn is a bed and breakfast in a house that dates back to 1791.After checking in and resting for a bit, we had an anniversary dinner at an excellent Italian restaurant, and chilled out for the rest of the evening, resting up for some busy days ahead.

Posted on

Church as Family

This past Sunday in our gathering, we were talking about gathering together as a church, and what it means to be a church. One of the points that was made was that we aren’t the church because we gather together, but that we gather together because we are the church, and we gather together as the church because we are family. We are children of our heavenly Father, therefore we are brothers and sisters. As Sister Sledge sang back in the day, we are family.

Now the term family conjures up different pictures for different people, some good and some bad. For me, regardless of the picture presented in many TV shows, the idea of church as family means several things. First, it means that we carry the same spiritual DNA. We have the Spirit of God within us, and we are God’s children. We are one because we have the same Father. The second thing family means is loyalty. The saying “blood is thicker than water” can be applicable here. People will do almost anything for those in their family, sometimes going to outrageous lengths. As I was growing up, my sister and I would tease each other and get into arguments from time to time, but woe to anyone outside our family who would try to hurt the other. Jan and I have also stressed that attitude of loyalty with Josh and Jennie.

Another aspect of family is the idea that certain responsibilities come with being a family member. Certain things are expected simply because of who you are. Of course, we all fail at different times, so one of those responsibilities is forgiving and restoring the erring family member. That is sometimes hard to do, but we do it because we are family. A fourth thing that family means is a willingness to give help when it is needed, and to receive help when we need it. This a two-sided coin. On the one hand we are ready to give to family when it is necessary. The flip side of that is being willing to ask for help. It’s easy sometimes to help others, but it can be a difficult thing to ask for help. Difficult, but necessary.

The final and most important thing I see in family is love. Love makes all the other things possible, and it is because of God’s love that we are family. Love can be difficult, even in families. Love opens us up and leaves us vulnerable, and sometimes family members hurt us. Sometimes we may be very good at extending love to others, but have a hard time receiving it from others. Both are needed in a family. Love, given and received, is the oil that makes a family run smoothly.

May God help us to be fully functional family.

Posted on

Just a Sinner…

…saved by grace. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that description of a Christian. In the fundamentalist circles in which I grew up, that idea was drummed into our heads from the time we confessed faith in Christ. Along with that we heard Paul’s admonition to not think of ourselves more highly than we should, and Isaiah’s statement about our righteousness being filthy rags. We were taught that we really are nothing more than unprofitable servants, who serve God and others because that’s what we are servants.

There seems to be a bit of tension in the New Testament between the passages that speak of us as servants and the ones that speak of us as children and heirs of God. In our gathering last Sunday, we were talking about how we often see ourselves more lowly than we should, rather than more highly. If we see ourselves as merely sinners saved by grace and unprofitable servants, then our service becomes something less than following the example of our Master. It becomes something that we do because our lowly status compels us rather than the love of Christ.

It is true that we can do nothing to save ourselves, that we need the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit to go through our day-to-day. It is also true that if we are in Christ, we are his friends. We are sons and daughters of the Creator. Hebrews 2:11 says that Jesus is not ashamed to call us brothers and sisters. As we go through our lives we are being shaped into the likeness of Christ. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit, individually and collectively. That doesn’t sound like people who are just unprofitable servants.

Jesus served. He is the ultimate example of what it means to serve others. How did he serve? Did he serve because he had to, because he was just a servant? No. Jesus served as one who was the Lord of all. He served completely voluntarily, giving us the supreme fulfillment of the two greatest commandments; love God, and love others as ourselves. That is how we are to serve, voluntarily in love because of who we are. Who we are is the image of Christ in this world. We are children of the living God, and we have the calling and privilege to join in God’s mission to restore all things. We don’t have to love and serve in a sniveling manner. A Christian who thinks of themselves too lowly does not serve sacrificially or lovingly.

If we see ourselves as God sees us, as beloved children who bear the image of Christ, we can then begin to serve as Jesus did. We can truly begin to love God and love others as ourselves.

Posted on

Pursuing the Virtuous Life

One of the things I learned during my days as a teacher in fundamentalist Christian education was the fact that many of America’s founding fathers had lists of virtues or rules of behavior that were good things for the students to know and emulate. Ben Franklin had a list of thirteen, while George Washington had one hundred ten rules to follow. All in all the rules and lists are not bad things for people to check out and learn from. We obviously could use more civility and manners in today’s society.

The problem comes when we try to make ourselves virtuous by following a list of rules. Ben Franklin realized that while he had become a better person in many ways, he had not reached the state of moral perfection that he hoped to attain. Many churches preach, and many people believe, that following the dictates of their church or a set of rules from a particular group will help you be “right with God.” Many other churches who don’t have a long list of “standards” still preach steps to be closer to God, or any number of things you can do to be a better Christian. This kind of thinking, while it may make life a bit better, is nothing more than man’s attempt to do what only God can do.

What is forgotten in all the lists to follow is grace. Grace is the word that Christians use when they are talking about salvation. They are correct; we are saved by grace, not by anything we do. What is so often neglected is that we also live and grow by grace. As God’s children, there is nothing we can do to make him love us less. We can not tear ourselves away from God’s grace and love. It is also true that there is nothing we can do that will make God love us any more. We cannot add to the Father’s grace and love toward us. I love my son and daughter unconditionally. They cannot do anything that is going to make me stop loving them, and they do not have to do anything to earn my love. So it is with God. He loves us, period.

As we learn to accept and rest in that love it grows in us and our love for God and for others grows. The way we grow in the Father’s love is by spending time with him, seeing each day as an opportunity to be guided and shaped by the Spirit. We learn about the Father by looking at the Son, by immersing ourselves in the Gospels and seeing Jesus as he really is. The first disciples spent three years with the Master, eating and drinking with him , traveling with him, hearing his teachings and seeing how he lived those teachings out. After that, they were given the Holy Spirit and went out and turned the world upside down. We have the account of Jesus’ life and teachings, and we have the same Holy Spirit to guide us and empower us to become like Jesus.

Our lives do not hang on man-made rules or anything else that comes from our own efforts. We can become better people, but the Father’s goal is for us to become like Christ. That can only come from the grace of God working in our lives through the Spirit. It happens because God loves us. Rest in that love. Don’t try to be a virtuous person. Instead, learn from Jesus and let the Spirit teach you. Trust in the fact that the Father is shaping you into the image of Jesus. As the old hymn says, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.”