Category: Love

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Fear and Love

In the song, “I Will Follow You Into the Dark,” Death Cab for Cutie sings about death and following a lover “into the dark.” It’s a song with that sees death as an unknown. There are many folks who see death and life after death that way. I’m not going to discuss that here though.

What struck me (and broke my heart) were the following lines:

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
“Son fear is the heart of love”
So I never went back

I never went to Catholic school, but I did grow up in a religious culture that was fear based. We were told early in life that we needed to accept Jesus as our personal Savior so we could avoid going to hell. Lurid descriptions of hell, some going beyond what Scripture says, were part and parcel of the “gospel.” Movies like “Thief in the Night,” and stories of holes drilled deep into the earth and the screams of the damned coming from those holes, were designed to scare people into “making a decision” for Christ. Today, churches use things like “Judgment House,” and “Helloween” to do the same thing.

There was also an emphasis on “living right,” which of course meant following a certain set of rules and regulations. The motives for doing right included not wanting to lose rewards in heaven, not wanting to damage our “testimony,” and not wanting to be “taken home” early because of our sin. We tried to live right because of fear of the consequences if we didn’t. Even those of us who rebelled tried to make sure that we asked forgiveness before we went to bed, in case we died in the middle of the night.

While there are warnings throughout Scripture about judgment, and I do believe that there will be some sort of judgment when Jesus comes again, I think the more prevalent theme throughout the Bible is love. The Israelites were told that God was leading them in his love. They were commanded to love God with their entire being, and to love their neighbors as themselves.
God presented himself to Moses as the God who is, “slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” All through the Old Testament, the people of God were reminded of his love for them and of their responsibility to love God and to love others.

In the New Testament, Jesus states that all of God’s Law can be kept by loving God with our entire being and loving all others as ourselves. He said that the way others would know that we belong to him is our love for each other. In John’s first letter, he writes about the importance of love. 1 John 4:18 is the verse that puts to rest any notion that “fear is the heart of love.” This verse sums it up:
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

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In Memory

Yesterday, we buried Jan’s mom, so there is no TGIF this week.

I’m sure you’ve all heard various mother-in-law jokes. They are a staple of stand-up comedy and TV sit-coms. Some of you may have experiential knowledge of mother-in-law jokes or stereotypes.

In the thirty one years that I have known Jan, twenty nine as a married couple, I never experienced any of the things that seem to make mother-in-law jokes so popular. From the first time I met Jan’s mom, I was accepted and loved. One of the best qualities of Wilma Parkis was her unconditional love that she showed to her family, extending to the men who married her three daughters. We were not just sons-in-law. We were sons. That love was also extended to my mom and dad. It was not really a matter of two families joined simply because of a marriage as it was two families merged into one. Even after we moved away for a few years, our parents continued to get together on a regular basis. When we moved to South Carolina, both sets of parents moved here, and their friendship continued.

At the funeral yesterday, some of the grandsons spoke beautifully of their memories of their grandma. We have heard stories from the nurses and others who were her caretakers at the nursing home where she spent her last four years. All of those accounts stressed her unconditional love for those she met and, most importantly, her love for her Savior.

Wilma Winifred Lazear Parkis (she was proud of that name) was a wonderful wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, and great grandmother. We will all miss her, but we are comforted knowing that she is resting in the presence of God.

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Those Who Love Little

In chapter 7 of his gospel, Luke tells the story of Jesus at a dinner party at the home of Simon the Pharisee. During the dinner, an immoral woman comes into the room and washes Jesus’ feet with her tears, dries them with her hair, and then anoints them with very expensive perfume. Of course Simon is appalled that this wicked women would dare to interrupt his event, and wonders why Jesus is allowing her to do this to him. Jesus then tells a parable of two men who were forgiven debts, and makes the point that the one who has been forgiven much will love much.

There are a couple of things that strike me about this account. The first is the attitude many who call themselves Christians show toward Jesus. In that time period, it was a common courtesy for a host to provide water to wash the feet of his guest, removing the dust of the journey. It also was customary to give a kiss of greeting and anoint the head of the guest with oil. By doing these things the host showed that he valued his guest and was glad for the visit. Simon did none of those things for Jesus, displaying an attitude of indifference, at best. Simon seems to think that Jesus is very fortunate to have been invited to a dinner at the home of an esteemed religious leader.

It seems that many, by their actions and attitudes, give the impression that Jesus is lucky to have them on his side. The statement by Jesus that we can do nothing without him is forgotten completely, or is explained away. I have heard folks talk about how great it would be if certain talented and famous individuals would become Christians and how much all their fame and talent could do for God. How many have given in to the idea that because I am doing all these things for God, he owes me? We wonder how God can let trouble into our lives when we have worked so hard and been so faithful.

This attitude also comes out in the way we treat others. We withhold forgiveness.We denigrate those who don’t see eye to eye with us. We judge others who don’t appear as spiritual as we try to. We place a premium on looking good in front of people, and spend a great deal of energy creating masks to hide our brokenness. So much of what we do is designed to put everyone, including Jesus at arms’ length from who we really are. At some point we forget just how much we have been forgiven.

By contrast, the immoral women was not interested in hiding who she was. She knew she was a sinner. She knew that Jesus was the only one who could help her, and she was desperate to get to him, no matter what anyone thought. If she had any masks, she left them at home. She not only did for Jesus what Simon should have done, she lavished her attention on him. Many would probably say that she went a bit overboard with her worship. She not only sacrificed an expensive possession, but she also sacrificed any shred of dignity she may have had left. All because she realized how much she had been forgiven.

May we all be reminded of the great love God has shown us in Jesus and the great forgiveness he has given us. May we love greatly.

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1 Corinthians 13 for the election

If I speak with a silver tongue and can sway hundreds, but have not love,
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all polls,
and if I have a faith that can move political mountains, but have not love,
I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the national committee
and surrender my time to run a phone bank, but have not love,
I gain nothing.

Love is patient with those of the other party.
It is not jealous of opponent’s fund raising,
it does not boast of its candidate, it is not proud.

It does not rudely argue political points, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered when others disagree, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in negative campaigns
but rejoices in the truth.

It always protects the reputation of Christ, always trusts God is in control,
always hopes for the best, always perseveres in living as a disciple of Jesus.

Love never fails. But where there are campaign promises,
they will be broken;
where there are silver tongued orators,
they will be stilled;
where there is knowledge of how to govern,
it will pass away.

For we have partial knowledge and we govern with that knowledge,
but when the True King comes, imperfect government will disappear.

When I was a partisan, I talked like a partisan,
I thought like a partisan,I reasoned like a partisan.

When I recognized who the True King is,
I put partisan ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection;
then we shall see face to face.

Now I know in part;
then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain:
faith, hope and love.

But the greatest of these is love.